So I’ve been months funemployed and there’s been a lot of existential crises, bouts of battling self-worth, and victories that finally come when I see who God is in spite of me. Anyways, I do have a job lined up but the onboarding process has been nothing short of frustrating and super delayed. I’m thankful though because, in this time of doing absolutely nothing, I have been realizing how much God really isn’t my everything - thankful because realizations seem to be a gracious invitation from God to transformation. Thankful specifically for today for stumbling upon this song reminding me who God is ... which always reveals who I am. yeet. bai 

There's a river flowing from the mountain It shows our God is true There's a song rising from the valley It's our response to You

'Cause You are God The God of all creation The Earth groans and longs to be with You And where we are, our hearts are raised to Heaven We breathe to worship You

We're standing on, our faces shine with wonder Made pure by perfect blood What better way to give You all the honor Than to bow before the One

Oh Lord, you're beautiful,

Your face is all I seek,

And when your eyes are on this child, 

Your grace abounds to me

I want to take your word and shine it all around

But first help me to just, live it Lord

And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek the crown

Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me

What gift of grace is Jesus my redeemer

There is no more for heaven now to give

He is my joy, my righteousness, and freedom

My steadfast love, my deep and boundless peace

To this I hold, my hope is only Jesus 

For my life is wholly bound to his

Oh how strange and divine, I can sing: all is mine!

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

The night is dark but I am not forsaken 

For by my side, the Saviour he will stay I

 labour on in weakness and rejoicing 

For in my need, his power is displayed

To this I hold, my Shepherd will defend me 

Through the deepest valley he will lead

Oh the night has been won, and I shall overcome! 

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

No fate I dread, I know I am forgiven

The future sure, the price it has been paid 

For Jesus bled and suffered for my pardon 

And he was raised to overthrow the grave

To this I hold, my sin has been defeated

Jesus now and ever is my plea

Oh the chains are released, I can sing: I am free! 

Yet not I, but through Christ in me

With every breath I long to follow Jesus

For he has said that he will bring me home 

And day by day I know he will renew me 

Until I stand with joy before the throne

To this I hold, my hope is only Jesus

All the glory evermore to him

When the race is complete, still my lips shall repeat: 

The highlight of the trip:

On our way down to Austin, our rental car got hit by a flying metal debris (wtheck, right?!). The damages were pretty bad and we had to pull out at the nearest exit because the coolant was leaking. However, we did end up making it to Austin in one way or another (in the back of a towtruck lolol). We tried enjoying the rest of the day, but it was difficult to not get headaches dealing with/thinking about the ramifications of this freak incident. My theology was challenged as I asked questions like: okay what's the meaning of this happening? Also, my horrible attitude towards God was exposed as I was annoyed at him for allowing this to happen. As I’m processing, I’m coming to terms that that in life, random sucky things happen and God will allow them to happen under His sovereignty without needing to tell me why. In those moments, it is not my duty to decipher the signs and the mystic meanings, but it is my duty to protect my heart, re-evaluate where my values lie and be able to face stressful & annoying circumstances with grace and Christ-likeness. So now, I am gonna deal with this circumstance...and fight against allowing the loss of money to overpower the rejoicing and grateful spirit Christ calls me to embrace. merp. 

#13 thankful: