memes I laugh at when it’s 3:00 AM

i hate when i go up north and go to restaurants and the waiter comes to take my order and im like “do yall have sweet tea??” and theyre like “no sweetheart but we have unsweetened iced tea and we can give you some sugar packets!!!” llike no you fucking yankee because now the tea is already cold so the sugar wont dissolve in it and itll all just sink the bottom and be nasty learn basic fucking solubility this is 9th grade chemistry thats why sweet tea exists in the first place you fucking heat the tea up to make it and then while its still hot you add the sugar and then you chill it and its sweet fucking tea i bet you pronounce pecan like peecan too you four seasons-having piece of shit

anyone else having a…hmm. what’s the word? Really Shit Time? 

Wasn’t iCarly that guy with the wax wings that flew into the sun and fucking got rest because same

I just realized my phone corrected Icarus to iCarly because I type iCarly more than Icarus okay thanks

I thought this was just a god tier shitpost

Toooooooo fuckin smooth

someone take me out. either in the date way or the assassination way

*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*

*puts on eyeliner over yesterday’s eyeliner smudges* smoky eye

Now this is just iconic advice

Damn this Primus track slaps

any time u like a boy juss know u played yourself always keep that stored in ya mind for later

am i the only one who is self conscious about my windshield wiper speed when it’s raining. like i gotta watch other cars to make sure im not being too dramatic