Enji paced back and forth in the hall. It's one of those mornings again. He'd woken up in Hisayo's bed and the room is a complete mess. They could try to lie to themselves but the stink of sex made it clear that another night out had gone terribly wrong. It was awkward, really awkward, but it seemed to become slightly less with every time. On the bright side he had been the one to wake up first for once. It had given him time to make her breakfast.
Of course, that was hours ago. As was their tradition, the one that woke first awkwardly slipped off. Now, however, they'd both had time to think. Time to chew down enough Ibuprofen to drown out his hangover too. Enji had texted her earlier. Told her he was going to stop by later. But the anxiety in his body made every step towards her room feel painful. Every step forward was met with a step back as he paced up and down the hall.
It was Akari who really lit the fire under his ass. After he'd gone to her for advice, she'd chewed him out for playing with a poor girl's heart. It ... didn't seem like the most accurate assessment, but he couldn't dispute it. Which is why he knew he had to say something. But the fear of losing a friend had his heart in a vice grip.
This time he paced closer to the door. What was he doing? He was supposed to be a hero and that meant not letting his heart or mind be ruled by fear. There's a sigh as another step follows his first. Within a few he's at Hisayo's door softly knocking on it. When she tells him to come in it's difficult to actually turn the handle. The blood in his vein was cold as ice. Frozen. He almost turns around then Hisayo opened the door herself.
The moment he saw her face his heart swapped from winter to summer. Everything felt so hot. He was blushing. Aghhhh! He really had to do this, didn't he? No backing out now. Instead he steeled his nerves and took one of her hands.
"Hisayo, I ..." It's hard to say but looking in her eyes ... it's clear she wants to listen. He's just gotta be strong. "I don't think we can keep doing ... this." He glances towards her bed. "Otherwise we're both gonna get hurt but I don't want to stop being by your side. Like ... ever, really. You're my best friend and ..."
"I think I love you. Which lots of friends love friends in friendly ways. Maybe even sisterly ways. And I've never been the best at distinguishing when I'm feeling one thing and not another thing but I think I love you like that. I think you are a very wonderful woman and not just wonderful but you're exciting. Adventurous and courageous and bold and the sort who takes what she wants. All these things that I want to be or admire and you're beautiful too. I mean really beautiful and ..."
He takes a deep breath. Then another. Venus he's totally overwhelming her and that was the opposite of what he wanted to do. He told himself to calm down. He's gotta stop talking so fast.
"What I'm saying is I think you're special and I hope that you're special to me too. I mean, I know we're not the most compatible and that makes things hard. That is. Uhhhh! Not to say you're making things hard because there's nothing wrong with who you are. Just these feelings are hard and I think they've been hard for you too. Which is okay! A-okay!"
"Look what I'm say is if you do feel the same about me, it would make me really happy if we acknowledged how we feel."
"And if you don't feel that way, then I think we should maybe consider establishing some new boundaries. Like someone else being in charge of getting you home after we go out because we've been ... I don't wanna ... You're ...."
Ah there it is. He's starting to lose his drive and retreat into anxiety. She's the only one who has done this to him in years.
The first time was a drunken accident. The second... That was also an accent. The third, fourth, now sixth time.... It had given Hisayo reason to think.
This time Enji was the one to wake up first and by the time she had, the warm spot on the bed that he left was fading away and the warmth in her chest had left even quicker. She hated this sort of introspection but even she couldn't deny the truth when it was dripping out of her holes.
Hisayo stayed in bed far longer than normal, letting herself dry out and get almost disgusting before she peeled herself from the bed and cleaned herself. And in the shower, with hot water pouring down her and alone with her thoughts, Hisayo had no choice but to think.
When Enji came, it was good he was such a blabber mouth. Hisayo still hadn't fully come to digest with her thoughts and feelings and hearing him talk was calming to her.
It was enough that once she felt like Enji spoke enough, Hisayo finally did something. She grabbed him by his collar and pulled him into a kiss to finally shut up him. It was drastic and something Hisayo would have never done before.
"You talk too much sometimes. Lemme be clear here. I'm still gay as fuck, alright? But... But you mean a lot to me too an' I love fuckin' you so we're not stoppin'."
She doesn't let him go but her grip looses enough to give Enji room to breathe. Hisayo couldn't quite let him go, not when her heart was pounding inside of her chest.
"You can call this relationship whatever you want. It'll be weird, yeah, but whatever. I don't care about that shit, I just wanna spend time with you cause you're my friend. An' you're real good in bed too."
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
annaxmalina
snowghoul
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
discoholicmusic
