A N H E D O N I A

Aeria leaned her face into his hand, enjoying the warmth of his skin. “I love you too.” She replied gently, smiling at him. She could never get enough of hearing how he loved her. It always filled her with butterflies and happiness. When he admitted that she was always right, she couldn’t help laughing a little. “That’s good to hear. I like being right.” She teased. Now she was determined to pick a date and finally get married to him. It felt like it was such a long time coming. “Good. My new goal in life is to marry you.” She giggled. “That we are.” She nodded. “I’ll hold you to that promise. We’re in this together, alright? It’s never just going to be you or me.”

Hadley smiled with those three words, quickly pressing his lips to her own. It was almost instinct for him to do. Like kissing her was what was natural and good to him. He felt the same way that he always did when he kissed her. The shivers down his spine, the nerves in his stomach. He still felt it all. “The only time you’re wrong is when I’m right. Which is a good 90 percent of the time,” He quipped, smirking at her. “Is it cliche to have the same goal?” He asked. “When should we have our wedding?” For the most part, he didn’t really have a preference. “We are in this together or not at all.”

Pandora could tell that he would be a harder one to crack, but she wanted to at least try. She was being as vulnerable as she could be and she couldn’t go back now. “Because I see how she treats other people. And I’ve seen how she treats me when I have stepped out of line.” Her voice wavered slightly at the memories. “I’m not trying to fool anyone. I don’t want to be under my mother’s thumb any longer. I’m not the same person as she is.”

Hadley lowered his eyes at her, trying to figure out if she was really telling him the truth or if it was just another act. He never trusted the Hearts. He barely ever trusted anyone. Especially when his family was concerned. “I still don’t trust you,” He said a little too bluntly, sighing once he realized. “You have to understand that it’s not easy to trust someone that could have beheaded you if she so wished for it. It takes time and evidence.”

Pandora noticed his hand where the gun was and she was suddenly a little scared. “I wanted to tell you that I’m not here to hurt anyone. Actually… I’m here to get away from my mother as well. I want to help you. And I want you to help me. I can’t do this by myself.” She said, never thinking she would ever be in this situation.

Hadley didn’t move an inch from where he was. He couldn’t care less how scared she was. Maybe that was why it was extremely hard for him to believe she was actually trying to get away from her mother. “Why would you be trying to get away from your mother when she’s done nothing but treated you like a little princess? You might be able to fool the others, but I’m very hard to convince.” He never thought he would ever be able to act this way to Pandora.

Aeria smiled up at him, pressing the back of his hand against her cheek. “I’m glad. I want to be here too.” This was the only place she wanted to be. She had the man she loved and the little boy she couldn’t live without. She had already accepted that nothing in their life was going to be easy, but she was willing to weather the storms and enjoy the sunshine. “Of course I’m right.” She teased gently. “But it will happen for us. It’s going to.” She was sure of it. Once they set a real date and started focusing on it, she would make sure of it. “I know you do. He’s so lucky to have you as his daddy. And I’m lucky that you’re in love with me. I’m the happiest when we’re together.” They were a team. They had to be together.

His smile grew with hers, soon turning his wrist so he was holding her cheek. “I love you,” He murmured carefully. Like it was a secret. It felt like it had been too long since he told her that but in actually he did not too long ago. He just liked to tell her so. Throughout everything they had been through he felt like he would always love her. “You’re always right.” He shook his head defiantly but he knew that was the truth. “I believe you.” Now that they just had to find a date and stick to it, he felt like he had time to go through the rollercoaster of emotions. “We’re a team. You, me and now James. I promise I’ll start thinking like that.”

“I do.” Pandora replied, her hands still up, just in case he didn’t believe her. She wanted him to see that she meant. “I didn’t do anything to her. We just talked. Can I just talk to you without you jumping to conclusions? Or should I wait?” She wanted him to be open to listening to her rather than just assuming things.

Hadley breathed out, still standing where he was but placing his hand on the grip of his revolver. Just in case. “If you don’t want to behead me, what do you want, Pandora?” He didn’t believe her. He was brought up not to.

Hadley lowered his eyes to her, hardly standing down. That was an impossibility. “Sure you do,” He scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re not seeing my son. What did you do to Adia?”

Aeria brought his hand up and kissed his fingers and knuckles, leaving a million light little kisses all over his skin there. “I’m glad you’re here with us. This is where you are supposed to be.” Even though she hadn’t expected herself to be in this position either, she couldn’t be happier. “I think neither of us ever expected to get married or anything like that, so maybe that’s part of why it hasn’t happened yet. But I want to do it right too. You deserve that. And as for James, he adores you as well. I don’t think you could ever do wrong in his eyes. He loves you so much.” And that seemed so clear to him. James had connected with his daddy and she couldn’t be happier about it.

Hadley let a faint smile cross over his lips as she kissed his scarred knuckles, finding it to be a perfect picture of who they were. She would always love the person behind the mess. “This is where I want to be.” It was hard sometimes but that was his life. Nothing was ever easy. “I think you’re right,” He agreed. Never before had the thought of marriage even popped into his mind. It was all so ancillary and toxic. Up until Aeria came along that was. “I love him more. He’s everything to me. So are you.” He couldn’t ask for a better partner in life or a better son. They both stuck with him through his depression and his madness.

Aeria watched him, wishing she could hear what was going on in his head at the moment. Sometimes she worried about his thoughts, and right now was one of those moments. “I do still want to be your wife.” She said, promising him that. She would never stop wanting to be his wife, his girlfriend, his partner, his anything. She was his absolutely. When he asked her if marrying him was what she wanted, she smiled. “I’ve never wanted to marry anyone before I met you. This wouldn’t even be a conversation with anyone else. I want to marry you because I am so desperately in love with you. I adore you and I would marry you if James had happened or not.”

Hadley could feel her eyes on him but he chose not to say anything. Just because he was fearful of the world and the voice in his head was always loud, he didn’t want to bring her into that. He never did. Though, everything turned to silence the moment she told him she still wanted to be his wife. Like everyone including the voice was shocked. He smiled and lightly squeezed her hand. “I thought I would be dead in some ditch somewhere by now. I wouldn’t have a family or have gotten on better terms with my sisters... I want to be better for all of you. For you and our son especially. But I want to do it right this time.”

Aeria needed the comfort that came from holding his hand. She hated to admit it, but she was terrified. She was afraid he would reject her and leave her and say he wasn’t in love with her anymore. “I just don’t want you to hate being married to me.” She said softly. “But if this is what you really want, then I agree that we should do it the right way. I want to do this with you. I want us to be happy more than anything. Just promise me that this is what you want. I need you to do that.”

Hadley squeezed her hand, leaning back against the headrest of the couch and staring at the ceiling for just a moment. He wanted to forget the fear he had for the future. The ideas in the back of his head telling him that he would never be good enough. There was never any bad thought about her there. Only bad thoughts about himself. “That’s not going to happen,” He murmured, turning his head to look at her. “I would be lucky that you still wanted to be my wife.” She deserved all the happiness in the world. He just hoped he could provide that happiness. “We have too much history for me to just give up... I’m asking you to marry me not because we have James or there is some kind of obligation. I want to. Me. I promise. Is this what you want too?”