cissest man ever btw

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

A CENTURY AGO

@lalaland-ruler

meow :3

Meow

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

revealing your scaring the hoes type interests early on in a relationship is a good way to secure only hoes of bravery and fortitude that will craft horrible dreams and beautiful nightmares with you

@lalaland-ruler

if you adopt two dogs who are littermates, they will team up on you to undermine your authority. if you adopt two cats that are littermates, they will constantly try to narc on each other to you

I have two cats that are littermates. This is true

When some TERFs started saying "biological name" (instead of "deadname") it really said this out loud.

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

it's normal and actually good for your health to see yourself in the most guilt ridden character you've ever seen in your life

[to the bus] and what time do you call this?