we go where no one goes

i. when you fall in love with a human, you must understand that you are as beyond them as they are beyond you. ii. for all their strength, they are so fragile. you will not realize this, you will not understand until the first time you injure them. they will bleed hot and red and it will blind you. it is so easy. you can mend them, of course, as simple as breathing. but it will scare you. to think that something so precious is so easy to destroy. you could ruin them without a thought. you must be careful. you must always be careful. (the blood will wash out so much more easily than your own. be gentle when you explain. they do not know – they were not meant to. but they will ask.) iii. they know so much and so little. they have never felt the stars. they cannot hear the universe. they do not know the expanse of the skies – they know only what they can see and hear and taste and touch. they will love your stories and delight in your songs. be generous. they do not know about your brothers. they do not know about your father. they think they do, but they do not. and when they ask, it will hurt. you must not let it hurt them. they are not soldiers, they do not understand war. protect them. protect them from themselves, protect them from you, protect them from the heavens. you must keep them safe. iv. memorize. learn them. the way the light loves their bodies, the way the air caresses them. learn from them. they know pleasures you have never felt, and they will share them with you so gladly. the way their body feels against yours, the weight of their gaze against your soul. they will touch you. let them learn your scars and your skin. taste their tears and their mouths. listen to the blood that runs through them. learn their bones and sinews, the curves and lines and angles. (truly, they are father’s greatest creation and they have no equal. do not blame them for that.) v. you will lose control. they will make you angry, they will make lightning shudder through you and thunder break in your chest. try. their world is so fragile and you must not harm it. they don’t know, and they will say things they don’t mean and make accusations they don’t understand. let it out, but be careful. they will remember, and it will hurt them. be as gentle as you can. vi. time means so much to them. they understand it in terms of hours, days, months. they do not understand lifetimes, they do not understand eons. when you go, they will not understand. you cannot explain it. go. but come back. they will want you to come back. be gentle. if you hold them too tightly, they will shatter, but they will not stop you. it helps. you will be able to breathe again when their too small, too warm, too fragile body is wrapped in your arms. it will not be enough, but it will help. it will help. vii. there is nothing more dangerous than to love a human. you will understand with sudden, painful clarity, and it will be too late for both of you.

haddockes.

You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.