Burnout By Day, Lover By Night

what they dont tell you about those little hand baskets in the grocery store is if you put enough things in them they get heavy

i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot

actually tumblr should pay ME for sticking around this long

for fucking real I’ve gone thru 6 separate stages of character development on this blog

I came close over and over. I’ve died a little a million times.

This is so real. Plus, the withdrawals feel like they‘re alive as well. A sinsister monster always waiting in your shadow. Heroin withdrawal is like going through hell, and you‘ll go through the starting symptoms 2-3 times a day if you don’t got more stuff ready every 8 hours/can‘t use because of work/family/are trying to space out using as much as possible so your tolerance doesn‘t rise and you have to use more every few days to stay well. At the very least you‘ll wake up in withdrawal everyday though, even if you used right before going to bed. So the withdrawal will remind you to take more, and then the harsh contrast when you use your first dose of the day, when you‘re suddenly well again. It‘s impossible to describe. I‘ve often thought that this feeling is better (or worse) than the actual high, it’s the real devil. It’s the reason why I can‘t stop. That and what op described.

keep it real or keep your distance

“I stopped missing people who only showed up when it was convenient.”

People love to say “At least you survived” as if survival erases the cost. Survival can be painful. Survival can be complicated. Survival can come with grief. You do not owe anyone gratitude for experiences that broke you open. Your feelings about what happened are valid.