Top 10 I Eat Pasta for Breakfast moments!
Happy 13th anniversary to our much beloved (and much beloathed) comic made by our favourite (least favourite) artist ever, Miss Chibi-Works herself!
Yes, on this day 13 years ago, August 13th 2013, the first ever cover page was released for "I Eat Pasta for Breakfast" announcing its creation and the official introduction of Lazari to this world!
"But Mod Madam, it's the 14th-" shhh now child. It's just a dream. The 14th doesn't exist, it's just a concept made up by Big August 14th to make people forget to make celebratory tumblr posts and push their agenda of "Summer break is almost over and you haven't done your homework yet".
Anyways, to celebrate 13 years of the best comic to ever grace this here planet Earth, me and Mod Leechi (mainly me, dry your eyes now child) are here to present you with...
THE TOP 10 BESTEST MOST SERIOSTEST I EAT PASTA FOR BREAKFAST MOMENTS EVER!!!
#10 "We're all Monsters" scene
This scene comes at a particularly vulnerable time for Lazari in terms of the events so far. Shes just transformed into her new 12 year old form (despite the fact that she was 8 like 5 pages ago), and had to be stopped from going on a rampage throughout the whole mansion. Tensions are high, and Lazari's self hatred is bigger than ever. It's established from the beginning that Lazari sees herself as an unlovable "monster" and is deeply afraid of hurting people, and now she's seen herself "become that monster"
It's particularly devastating here that she ends up succumbing to that hunger that she's been so afraid of, she's at an all time low. But when you're at rock bottom, all you can go is up. Slender comforts her with a truth that young Lazari may not have processed yet. She's not alone. If she is a monster, then so is everyone else. Jeff killed his family, Lulu steals people's eyes, Slender's gay, if anything she's just like the rest of them. They're all in this together, they're all monsters in their own way.
Everyone in the mansion normal house (I'M SORRY TOBI I'M SORRY PLEASE) is in this together, and they are all here for her except Jack.
A very powerful message that ultimately falls flat in like 10 more pages but yeah whatever
#9 Evil and Slender's discussion
Okay so I'll say it, Evil has the most aura out of everyone in the whole comic.
"But what about Zodiac and Litamares-" nah just no just .. No. (Mod Leechi: Zodiac is a literal cartoon character in his supplementary stories and Litamares' name is Litamares. They will never have Evil's aura.)
Here is where we get to see Evil really in his element here, both the annoying little shit and ultimately, the scary prophet who sees all.
So far, both Slender and to an extent Lazari are still a mystery to the readers. Who is Slender, what is he and why does he just blindly take Lazari under his Wing? Whats going to happen to Lazari now? Why is Slenderman not canon compliant and not evil evil big bad evil man who kisses Zalgo on the mouth? And who is this little Evil guy who thinks he's Timmy tough knuckles? Does he want a knuckle sandwich straight to the jugular?
This auraful conversation answers and leaves us with more questions than before. Evil confirms to us that perhaps Slender's intentions aren't as good as we thought they were, and perhaps Lazari isn't destined to have happy fun times with the mansion normal house residents like we all thought she would be doing back in the fanon Mansion Normal House era.
And then Evil is never really important again. His aura just overpowered everything
#8 Eloise hammering the Bally hell out of Alex Bleedingman
I'd say up until this point Eloise as a character was pretty undermined by both the readership and the narrative. She was, up until this point, the daughter and loyal servant of Zalgo who just kinda.. Existed. Like she's just standing there.
And now it's like damn... She's like really strong. She's like really cool. She's like the popular girl in school. She's the newest kid on the block. She's the coolest kid in town. And Alex? Man, he just got mogged. He's just a sub5 chudlet compared to Stripes oh I forgot that was her name.
This subversion of tropes, the loyal servant as super strong and the bad boy as a little weenie baby really consolidates Eloise's power and her ability to be a real threat to Slenderman and whatever his plans are for Lazari.
Me and Mod Leechi spent a solid minute and a half laughing at this because did this really happen
It's quite interesting to see Lazari's perspective compared to the events that actually transpired. Yeah sure she didn't go flying out the window like a boomerang from that Jojo Siwa song (what's she even up to, I heard she's a tradwife now?), but certainly Jack throwing her out that window was a life changing event from her. (Mod Leechi: Jack was sick in bed for days and could barely move when this scene happened, there is no way he could have flung her that far. Lazari just made that up so she could have a sadder flashback scene.) She was quite literally THROWN out of her safety net and out back into the dangerous world that saw her as a monster. But like also wouldn't that have been freedom for her because she said- okay just don't challenge the powers at be okay let's take deep breaths...
INHALE FOR 4 SECONDS
EXHALE FOR 4 SECONDS
YOU CAN DO THIS LIFE IS MORE THAN A CREEPYPASTA COMIC!! THE SLENDER MANSION IS NOT A MANSION BUT A HOUSE AND THAT'S OKAY!!! THAT ARCHITECTURALLY MAKES SOME SENSE!! MAYBE!!
I think we all really needed that.
(Mod Leechi: I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you I will kill you)
FINALLY A CANON COMPLIANT SLENDERMAN!! YES I'VE BEEN VINDICATED!!! YES FINALLY FINALLY EVIL SLENDERMAN YESSSSSSSS!!!! I'M CRYING REAL TEARS RIGHT NOW YES YES YES YES NO MORE NUANCED CHARACTER SLENDERMAN ONLY EVIL ONLY!!!! YES!!!!!
Slender finally says his iconic catch phrase "I will kill you". He says this a lot and we all know it. This is an indictment to the friendship shared between Slenderman and Jeff as this phrase is a bastardization of Jeff's iconic catch phrase "I will Jeff the kill you". Jane is like dead or something she's buried in the mansion cemetery I MEAN NORMAL HOUSE CEMETERY I'M SORRY TOBI I'M SORRY so there was an opening for a new killing catchphrase!
Wow Slender is so evil I just peed myself a little guys send help. Wow it's crazy what divorce can do to a guy. A gay guy with daddy issues? Gosh that is CANON ERIC KNUDSEN SAID SO!!
Oh wait I need to be serious uh this is a really scary scene for Lazari as Slender reveals himself to not be the innocent caretaker she once believed him to be. Gosh Lazari like i've been there girl
#5 Brian getting his ass MOLLYWHOPPED by two characters we have never even seen before
Okay so, Mod Leechi told me to mention this and it's really funny. So Hoodie literally just can't see because his hood covers his whole face, he doesn't have magical sight like Eyeless Jack does he just has to wear a mask that obscures his vision all the time. Also he has literally NEVER had combat experience before this so essentially this scene is two people picking on a blind guy who doesn't fight like damn okay I guess whatever makes you feel special "Clyde" and "Lucifer".
Who are these guys anyway? Like Clyde may or may not have appeared in the beginning but who the hell is Lucifer. WHY DOES TOBI KEEP DROPPING NEW CHARACTERS AND EXPECTING US TO KNOW THEM WHAT'S GOING ON SOMEONE HELP
Oh and also wanna know what's absolutely hilarious? Hoodie cannot see and his only weapon is a gun, literally the most VISION DEPENDENT weapon there is. And even then, Clyde and Lucifer only slime him out barely by fullboxing the guy. Also, Lucifer almost got killed in this interaction, meaning Clyde and Lucifer almost lost to a guy who cannot see and is only armed with a weapon that can only work to his disadvantage. They aren't even cool like that like can these guys stop trying to aura farm it makes me angry I just wanna beat up my Slenderman crochet plushie I got for £60 + £11.50 shipping from Etsy.
#4 Lucifer plagiarises Slender's iconic catchphrase
Lucifer that's not even cool. Like Tobi Slenderman worked really hard to come up with that intimidating phrase and now you're just gonna steal it? No wonder there's no fanart of you.
Brian literally mogs you like he's like uhm I gotta make a super hero reference um he's like a uh uh Superman? And you're like Batman? Which one is the better one again?
(Mod Leechi: Why the fuck was Lucifer even backflipping and jumping around in this scene? Brian is just a fuckin guy 😭 sit down vro you share -1 feats with Clyde)
Just imagine Sadiya in front of you. Just imagine it. It's kinda funny how we ALL had a crush on Sadiya when we were younger, like isn't that so funny? WE all thought she was super charming and pretty. Just like my girlfriend I love you Danny
Sadiya is an incredible character who works as Lazari's second caretaker and oh I can't hold it in anymore DID YOU KNOW SADIYA IS THE RESULT OF MALE PREGNANCY? YEAH SO HER DAD ABADDON GAVE BIRTH TO HER BUT HE'S LIKE 4 FOOT SO WHAT THE HELL? HOW DOES IT WORK? HOW DOES THIS WORK? IS MPREG REAL IS THAT HOW LAZARI WAS BORN LIKE IF HER MOM COULDN'T HAVE KIDS THEM ZALGO GAVE BIRTH INSTEAD???
Gosh I just LOOOOOVE when the terrible deadbeat LOVING AND KIND dad who wants to impregnate a 15 year old randomly gets an off screen redemption arc and turns into a shy little twink. Twinks are just better than evil people. Especially when the twinks are ALSO evil like do you guys play DELTARUNE? He's kinda like Flowery I (this part was removed by Mod Leechi for Deltarune spoilers).
Gosh Twink Zalgo is just the best. Who even needs an evil guy when you can just randomly retcon him and turn him into a Twink?
Is Slenderman into twinks?? What the hell?? Slenderman I expected BETTER of you.
Hell yeah I clickbaited you guys, now you gotta keep reading to get to number one HAHA! Anyways Honorary mention...
Sometimes when I'm sad I think about them. They're beautiful love. All love is beautiful you know? Like how I love all my friends including Mod Leechi, like how I love my girlfriend Hi Danny I love you. Love is the biggest most all encompassing force on this planet.
It's a dog's wagging tail. A cat's purr. A bird's song. A rabbit's... Like idk what rabbits do. It's two men whose love is so passionate they can never directly interact within the comic they exist in for the power of their love will overpower everything else and they'll just start making out. They'll start kissing all over the place and it'll be beautiful and is the room kinda getting a bit watery? I-Is somebody chopping an onion?
Sometimes when I go to bed at night I have this beautiful dream of being their child. Like their biological child. Like yeah I don't look anything like them but I'm still their child. And all my friends are my siblings, and so is Lazari and Stripes. We just exist as one happy family and we all have picnics in the mansion I MEAN REGULAR HOUSE PLEASE I'M SORRY gardens. We all love each other, and that's beautiful.
I love you guys, I choose to wake up everyday and pick love over anger. That's the way to inner peace, you have to wake up everyday and choose gratitude and love and peace over anger and violence and freaking out over Creepypasta comics.
They may be divorced, but they love each other. And love is what makes the world special.
I love you Chibi-Works, thank you for giving child me the joy of consuming your comic as a form of media. See how peaceful I am? The world is good. The world is full of love if you let it into your heart. Don't be prejudiced, know who you are and make your world bloom with smiles and laughs. I love mpreg. I love Slenderzalgo. I love Yuri. I love this blog. I love being unemployed a Tobistorian.
I'm just filled with joy and peace I just, I just can't wait to show you what Number 1 is! Gosh, I just can't wait, not even I really know what it is! Leechi just sent me the images and I wrote the captions, gosh I'm just so filled with love and joy and. And. I'm ready! I'm really ready!
Here goes nothing guys! Are you ready?
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