Callooh! Callay!

i’m getting evicted from my own mind palace

you're nor tired sad or unmotivated, your brain is simply begging to have a hole drilled into it. go to my tiktok shop buy one trepanning drill this will change.your.life.

Imagine your bike has been at the Wright Brother’s repair shop for weeks and you see Orville suddenly whiz over your head in a contraption

I wasn't ignoring your message I was being elusive and shy like a forest elf

why did you just touch me with a 10ft pole

“how long have you been on tumblr?” i remember the term “nightblogging”

*takes a drag from an imaginary cigarette* I remember you knew you stayed up refreshing your dash too late when the Australians started posting

I hate the king and I hate the thief and I'm glad they die constantly in Mobile ads

Take me to your best friend’s house see a little tiny mouse ohhhhh yeah

i show a neanderthal a doom metal album and they understand implicitly. they pick up a bass guitar and start to play it instinctually

Was made to groove

my man

y'all remember when we glomped?

exiting a uquiz halfway through when it becomes clear the creator's narrow and immature world view and cultural knowledge leaves them totally unequipped to tell me which peanuts character i am with any degree of accuracy or insight