SPINNING WHEEL

plenty of time until it’s gone it’s alright until it’s not

an independent and selective roleplay blog for students in the diasomnia dormitory whose homeland is the briar valley of disney twisted - wonderland, as penned by syd ( 26 / any pronouns / lesbian ) and influenced by headcanons, theories, and a myriad of disney moves as well as fae mythology. — a study in: the passage of time and a world that moves on, family in all its various forms, and the conflict inherent in where one’s duty truly lies.

It’s not the first time Sebek has made an unprovoked slight towards him. It likely won’t be the last either. Silver’s an easy target for scrutiny, not just by Sebek but by the rest of the people in their homeland. Being essentially an ambassador for mankind within the valley comes with many responsibilities & obstacles that Silver has not forgotten. More than anything he wishes he could do what’s asked of him & rise to the expectations placed upon him. 

So while he often chooses to ignore harsh critique from the fae folk, Silver takes to heart most critiques from Sebek. He can count on Sebek to be honest & unprejudiced towards him, most of the time at least. After all, Sebek’s never commented on Silver’s humanity or anything else he cannot help. He just wants Silver to be the best he can be, a goal they both share.

“  You haven’t answered my question.  ”  Try as he might, Sebek just can’t shake Silver. In different circumstances, the second year would be more lenient with letting the subject move on. But something is wrong. Silver can feel it. So he won’t drop this until Sebek gives him a straight answer.  “  You were absent at breakfast & lunch. I can’t imagine Lord Malleus or Lord Lilia doing something to evoke your ire. Have I done something to offend you?  ”  It’s no secret that Silver can be quite terse at times. But he can’t imagine what he could’ve done to bring about this behavior from Sebek. If he’s done something so horrible, Silver would like to make it right, for their sakes & for Lord Malleus’.

“ i simply had things to attend to elsewhere, ” sebek says, but he’s always been a poor liar — the feigned confidence is a haughty thing, chin up and shoulders set, but fragile and therefore easy to tell apart from his usual genuine arrogance. “ there’s nothing else to say. ”

sebek feels cottony and warm, his thoughts padded and slow and his face burning. this is stupid. whatever happened yesterday happened, and it doesn’t mean anything. it doesn’t mean anything, but he can’t shake silver and he can’t think clearly. it’s an uncomfortable feeling on someone who’s normally so strictly focused on the task at hand, whatever he may view that task to be.

“  Sebek, slow down.  ”  Sebek may be determined to get away from Silver, but Silver’s always been the quicker of the pair of them – physically anyway. He easily catches up to Sebek, forcibly stopping the younger’s strides as he grips his forearm.  “  What’s wrong? You’ve been avoiding me all day.  ”  Normally this wouldn’t bother him. However, neither of them can carry out their duties to Lord Malleus adequately without the other working beside them. 

“ i’ve been attending my duties. ” of course, sebek isn’t usually quite so concerned with class as a concept; he applies himself rigorously, of course, wanting to do his best to do well by master lilia and lord malleus, but this dedication without his usual apparent worry about if lord malleus will be fine attending classes unattended isn’t present in sebek today. he’s otherwise preoccupied, although he’s doing a rather impressive job of not letting himself dwell on that. 

“ yeah, i know. ” the answer comes easy to merry — which is funny, because this is so far from easy. it’s a heavy sort of truth, and it doesn’t even know if it can say the same for them. it’s... complicated. there’s florian and faust, but are they friends?? or family?? he’s never known family, stuck in the general care of the castle for all the good that did him. if they’re friends, it guesses they’d ———

it doesn’t matter. whatever the order is and whether merry decides to think about it or not, there’s something growing. it’s a void. it’s a black hole. it’s something that devours and eats at the edge of their emotions until they’re left feeling nothing but distance. and it’s not fair for himself, or for piper, or for florian, or faust, or even lilia ( it’s merry’s own fault he gave up on it in the first place, difficult as it tries to be without reason ). it’s not fair, but it is.

born wrong, merry’s always guessed. there’s something missing. always has been, always will be — but whatever’s missing’s being replaced now, sickly blot doing its best to choke the life out of him sooner rather than later. there’s no way to fight it at this point, so it doesn’t.

as used as silver is to falling asleep without giving his body permission, he doesn’t always seem used to the waking up part. his eyes flutter open, his neutral expression slightly dazed. he blinks once, letting his eyes focus on the ignihyde upperclassman sitting beside him, and a small sound of realization passes over his lips. “ i’m fine, ” silver assures, small signs of disappointment in himself tinting his expression but not taking it over — a gentle knit of his brow between his eyes, a subtle press of his lips together.

“  He found out I knew about his sexual orientation.  ”  It’s only now occurring to Silver that he should have kept that a secret. “  I told him he didn’t need to be embarrassed about who he is. But that seemed to make things worse.  ”

“  What about me?  ”  He repeats, dumbly. Clearly he has no idea what Sebek is trying to get at, expression blank as always. Sorry, Sebek. You’ll have to be more clear with your words.

“  Father told me. He said you came to him for advice.  ”  He also told Silver not to tell Sebek he knew this. But unfortunately Silver forgot that detail. 

Silver puts a hand on Sebek’s shoulder, sensing his distress. “  You don’t have to be embarrassed, Sebek. It’s okay to be gay.  ”

silver points to the text. “see?”

“You’re a menace to society is what you are.”

“ Ah evil, my favorite color,  ”  Una snorts, turquoise eyes roving the room now illuminated in blood red light. “  Too bad. Would’ve been nice to start a dance party in this place. Though I have to ask – What about this older brother program meeting requires evil lights?  ”

“ we are known to be night owls here. dance parties don’t start until well into the night, once all but the most precocious little ones have gone to bed, ” lilia replies, not missing a beat.