Am I that Approachable?

I dont need this

I dont need this

let him walk away

he fucked his ex the day before valentines day and then ripped up your gift and hit you.

You dont need him

You dont need him

Have you ever felt lonely while someone was right in the house with you. Have you ever drove yourself crazy trying to  stop someone from leaving you for someone else? or anyone else for that matter? Because I have. Right now it's going on day 3 i have ate a total or 3 meals and had maybe 1 days worth of rest. Just cat naps here and there. When he stayed out all night, I didn't sleep.

 I spent the night at the hospital with a concussion. Since he wasn't here I had to drive myself (even after telling him).  It took me an hour to even get myself in order before I went. I had to stay all night long (still no word from him). So when I finally get released after calling 50 times saying im stuck there I decide to just drive anyways and when I tell you my battery was dead no lie. Luckily security jumped the car but I was so shaken up I was more nervous than ever now. They didn't want me driving home but I had no one so here I am swerving with my lights off all the way home.

I feel like he hates me. He's just so blank and unavailable. Like he is almost trying not to cheat on someone else. He says he wants to leave still, but in the same breathe saying he will never leave. So now I am just stuck in my own personal hell.

 Now I finally see. As hard as I tried not to be a statistic on paper here I am. The single mother. The "baby momma". It wasn't by choice. I almost feel like I had no choice in the matter. Forewarning I know I did and as everyone always says. should have been careful or should have known to leave him alone, but dammit when I tell you this was a wolf in sheep’s clothing i’m serious. 

Now here I am. Emotional. Heartbroken. A new mother to an adorable 8 month old. And completely scared. I once had such a feeling of love. which turned into a whirl wind never ending cycle of what the fuck (excuse my french). I will never really know how it all even started. How he found me? Why did he pick me? The list could go on and on and maybe only God knows, if anyone could fill me in on that that would be great.