okay, i’ve been saving this story for when i could post an audio, so please enjoy a bit of upset belly gurgles!!
my last midterm was thursday morning, and some of my friends went to this pizza place on campus to celebrate. now, my belly had been really upset and icky all week, and i was still bloated from the day before from eating a gigantic cup full of soft serve ice cream and a salad for lunch.
but i wanted to celebrate with pizza!! why not!! i told myself, “i’ll only have one slice, and i’ll be okay.”
we get to the place and order, and me and a friend go half and half for a large cheese pizza, cause he says he’ll eat most of it and take the rest back to his apartment, and i only want one slice, so i don’t wanna pay for a whole one by myself, right?
so we get our pizza back, and it’s absolutely delicious. thick and cheesy, fresh out of the oven, drenched in grease and garlic and sauce. my tummy rumbled while we were waiting; the smell alone made me ravenous.
when we got our pizza, i thought to myself, “gosh, well what’s two slices gonna do, right? it’ll be fine.”
mind you, this is all while my tummy is still aching from the day before, unsettled and heavy and rumbling quietly under my sweater.
about two bites in, my friend checks his email and sees that he’s got a meeting rescheduled for, like, right now, and he can’t take the rest of the pizza back to his place, like we agreed.
he doesn’t want to take the pizza with him, but he was so bummed out about wasting all that money on celebratory pizza that he’s just gonna throw away!
as he’s saying this, i’m trying to rub my belly under the table, cause it’s gurgling up a storm, bloating against the button of my jeans. i’d scarfed down a slice and a half, and god, my belly was not happy about it.
i realize he’s expecting me to finish the pizza, and he refuses leave for his meeting until i promise to eat the rest of it so it doesn’t go to waste. we were so excited about it, and he paid for half of it anyway— not to mention i’ve eaten an entire pizza in front of him before.
so i’m sitting there with a terribly full belly, doing my best to soothe it while it groans and churns, and i mean i could have just thrown the remaining four slices away, but i promised!!
i didn’t really have time to go back to my dorm and put it in my fridge either, so my only choice was to pack slice after slice after slice into my already distended belly, listening to it gurgle louder and louder as i stuffed it way too full.
i swear, each bite made my belly expand a little more. in total, my belly ended up with seven eighths of a large, thick-crust pizza, all crammed on top of five days of having an upset, backed up belly.
i had to sit there for about twenty minutes with an empty box of pizza, cradling my tummy as it groaned and churned, trying to get it to calm down enough to get to my next class.
it absolutely did not. all though the lecture, my guts filled with bubbles. i could feel it all shifting in my belly as i walked home, stirring up all the food stuffed inside. by the time i got home, my whole middle was tight and bloated, gurgling and rumbling under my hands as i rubbed it.
so here’s a recording of all that pizza making its way though my aching, overstuffed belly. enjoy!!!
