Murderbot is one of those herding dogs that jumps the fence and is later found with three sheep, a child from a missing poster, two chickens, and a horse and none of them are allowed to leave the herd until its satisfied

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@gunsandpoets
Murderbot is one of those herding dogs that jumps the fence and is later found with three sheep, a child from a missing poster, two chickens, and a horse and none of them are allowed to leave the herd until its satisfied

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i was born in the right time. i love dishwashers
Skaters de Ethiopia
im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice
like idk how accurate these are but somehow they manage to be both peak shitposting humor and genuinely helpful suggestions
fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy Tips™
From observation, another one would seem to be ‘if you have to get off your horse to do it, let someone else take care of it’
legalize copyright infringement
to be clear this is a fully sincere political belief that I have. I am pro copyright infringement and in fact anti "asking for permission to make derivative art"

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Support your local library 📚
Book that was good: I liked it 👍
Book that was bad: this sucked 👎
Book that I wanted to like but which failed to live up to my hopes: I am going to write 10,000+ words explaining exactly why this book wronged me
let’s talk about how they made it impossible to function without a phone and digitalised everything and then turned around and went “actually! these phone things aren’t safe for kids but it’s magically ok once you’re eighteen. guess you’ll have to have your life dictated by your parents now lol cause we’re gonna take the devices away from you. IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING”
ok my apologies. take away my ability to buy anything too ig because these fuckass stores don’t accept cash anymore. take away my ability to communicate with people outside my house and school because I can’t text and I can’t email and I cant drive to them either and I can’t even fucking get public transport without a phone either. can’t order at a fucking restaurant without being asked to get a membership and install an app and also very sorry but you can only order through our online menu now! have you ever considered that it’s not just about instagram?
it should be an easy suggestion
always confuses me when people get upset when they find freaks in the freaky fandoms…..like babe the fork IS going to be in the kitchen. just cause you’re not that flavor of freak you’re still in the kitchen too. and since we’re ALL in the kitchen we really shouldn’t be shaming the other utensils here.

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following weird horny furries who are into shit like pooltoys and transformation and stuff is enrichment. the vitamins and minerals of posting
once you get over your ass and realise you will never get some people and that’s ok you are basically immune to right wing fearmongering. otherkin? none of my fucking business
I must not fall victim to disgust. Disgust is the heart-killer. Disgust is the little-death that brings total apathy. I will face my disgust. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the disgust has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
imagine you're don abene for a second.
you encounter a secunit for the first time.
it saves your life in a situation where no one else would have been fast, strong, agile, and composed enough to do so.
your security team is immediately more alarmed by its presence than the attack that is obvious to you as the bigger issue at the moment
they insist it's dangerous and struggle to relax enough to take their weapons off of it
then a combatbot attacks your group
somehow this secunit, much smaller than the bot, unarmored, without any heavy weaponry on its person, manages to take it down. some real jaw-dropping action, all over in less than a minute
then it leaps into a room with two combatbots and not only survives, but it gets your unconscious friend out alive
then it immediately comes to your own rescue, disabling impressive combat armor
it then is dead-set on killing your attacker who is already immobilized and harmless
clearly this is an incredibly competent and dangerous and powerful person
then miki tells you that it IS rin and you finally put it together that not only is this person competent in the field, but it is also calling all its own shots and has truly come here all on its own and volunteered its services to help and protect you without needing to be asked or ordered
so this person is incredibly competent, dangerous, powerful, AND kind, AND fiercely protective, AND reassuring, AND intelligent, AND selfless
and it's still coming up with great ideas and still thinking proactively about how it's going to face down or distract another combatbot as though there's no doubt in the world that it, still bleeding heavily, still unarmored and barely armed, is ready for another round with a terrifying machine that appears to be nothing BUT armor and weapons
so you step forward to help treat its injuries
and it jerks back a step with the single most frightened face you've ever seen, as though you had lifted your arm to inflict pain and it was helpless to stop you
behind you, even miki can read the devastating expression that's breaking your heart and says "abene won't hurt you, secunit"
where did the fearsome fighter from moments ago disappear to?
who did this to it?
What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?
When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.
i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic
rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich
what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

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people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels
if nothing else trying to tune out the sounds of anakin and padme going to town as i contemplate the babbling brook gave me a brief but vivid window into what it’s like to be obi wan kenobi
me after a minor inconvenience: i hope i get hit by a [remembers i’m anti car-centric infrastructure] pedestrian