The Days of Pluto

 @owenabbott​ 

Apply to a  job, wait (1) day, then call.  Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application. 

 When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly,  tell them your first and last name.  

Describe your experiences  as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years]  costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.  

Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say  things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.”  “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”

When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say  YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now). 

Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.

When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy. 

If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)

Questions for after the interview:

1.  Does this position offer upward mobility?

2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)

 Then, shake their hand,  Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it. 

AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows  that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices. 

DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone.  In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate. 

__________

 The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com  and Simplyhired.

Data Entry:

http://citystaffing.com/job/data-entry-specialistsmailroom-clerk/?utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed

https://www.roberthalf.com/officeteam/job-search/chicago-il/data-entry-clerks-needed/43517752?codes=IND

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/data-entry-specialists-job/chicago-transit-authority/jepfivkhjk?cid=udsowkxtausyzitcfeecaeuzoxkltmbl

https://jobs-theprivatebank.icims.com/jobs/3435/temporary—data-entry/job?mode=job&iis=SimplyHired&iisn=SimplyHired&utm_source=simplyhired&utm_medium=jobclick&mobile=false&width=792&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300

 Front Desk:

http://localjobs.joblur.com/jobapplication2/?jobid=99957&subaffid=300006&JobType=Food%20/%20Bev%20/%20Hosp&ix=1&c1=99957

https://jobs.ajg.com/job/-/-/109/1256110?apstr=%26src%3DJB-10280

https://pepper.hiretouch.com/job-search/job-details?jobID=32066&job=receptionist

http://accesscommunityhealth.hodesiq.com/jobs/default.aspx?JobID=5203566 (this one is close to the place you rented.)

http://ihg.taleo.net/careersection/all/jobdetail.ftl?job=R113601&lang=en&media_id=24863&src=Indeed&src=JB-10920

https://covalentcareers.com/employer/listing/86450f8517588197c9b04f5068ed4300/detail/?apply=1&ref=indeed&v=30&utm_source=indeed&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=indeed_optical

http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobseeker/jobs/jobdetails.aspx?APath=2.21.0.0.0&job_did=JHN0KY6823WBWZX21VM&showNewJDP=yes&IPath=JRKV0F

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/front-desk-receptionist-customer-service-sales-job/rosin-optical-co-inc/qaeoquzgdi?cid=ivdnhijkmxchdanahwfoupazcwisfnxt

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/receptionist-front-desk-job/all-us-jobs/fonj7wmldf?cid=trhyvmfcsgjltxkjxkemyinsjveewfjp

Other jobs you don’t need a degree for that aren’t retail:

Dental hygenist ( yeah, seriously, who knew!) They also make about 40,000 a year)

Stenographer-Court Reporter

Surveyer ( you need a certificate for this, but its something you can get while working a temporary job and doing this on the side. Also, they make like $55,000 a year sooooooo) https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWEbHost/jobdetails.aspx?jobId=1406428&PartnerId=16023&SiteId=5118&codes=IND

Real Estate Broker

Purchasing agents, except wholesale, retail, and farm products ( basically you arrange to buy large things) they make like 60K

Claims adjuster 

Loan Officer

Subway driver (trains) they make like 60K,

I’m here. Ily.

Depression Suicide Hotline (US, UK, Canada & Singapore): 1-800-SUICIDE (2433) Suicide hotline (New Zealand): 0800 543 354 Depression hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999 National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245) National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000 Postpartum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group: 1-800-826-3632 Veterans: 1-877-VET2VET Crisis Help Line – For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357 Suicide & Depression Crisis Line – Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999 Domestic Abuse National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453 National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD): 1-800-787-32324 Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504 Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722 Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111 Child Abuse Hotline Support & Information: 1-800-792-5200 Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline (UK): 0345 023 468 Sexual Abuse Centre (UK): 0117 935 1707 Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish): 1-800-223-5001 Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish): 1-800-992-2600 Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected] Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight Alcohol & Drug Abuse National Association for Children of Alcoholics: 1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627) National Drug Abuse: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) Al-Anon/Alateen Hope & Help for young people who are the relatives & friends of a problem drinker): 1-800-344-2666 Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) Be Sober Hotline: 1-800-BE-SOBER (1-800-237-6237) Cocaine Help Line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463) 24 Hour Cocaine Support Line: 1-800-992-9239 Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933 Marijuana Anonymous: 1-800-766-6779 Drinkline (UK): 0800 9178282 Frank (UK): 0800776600 Youth & Teen Hotlines National Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 Youth America Hotline: 1-877-YOUTHLINE (1-877-968-8454) Covenant House Nine-Line (Teens): 1-800-999-9999 Boys Town National: 1-800-448-3000 Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900 TeenLine: 1-800-522-8336 Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 or 1-800-422-0009 Runaway Support (All Calls are Confidential): 800-231-6946 Childline: (UK Only) 0800 1111 Kids Helpline (Australia) 1800 55 1800 b-eat youthline (UK): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) Pregnancy Hotlines AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center: 1-800-560-0717 Pregnancy Support: 1-800-4-OPTIONS (1-800-467-8466) Pregnancy National Helpline: 1-800-356-5761 Young Pregnant Support: 1-800 550-4900 Gay and Lesbian Hotlines The Trevor Helpline (For homosexuality questions or problems): 1-800-850-8078 Gay & Lesbian National Support: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564) Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Youth Support Line: 1-800-850-8078 Lesbian & Gay Switchboard: (UK Only) 0121 622 6589 Lothian Gay & Lesbian Switchboard – Scotland: (Scotland Only) 0131 556 4049 Other Hotlines Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) (www.selfinjury.com) Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PST) Eating Disorders Center: 1-888-236-1188 Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274) Panic Disorder Information and Support: 1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642) TalkZone (Peer Counselors): 1-800-475-TALK (1-800-475-2855) Parental Stress Hotline: 1-800-632-8188 National AIDS Helpline: (UK) 0800 567 123 Samaritans (UK): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected] b-eat eating disorder support (UK): 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected] Mind infoline (UK mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected] Mind legal advice (UK): 0300 466 6463 [email protected] Cruse Bereavement Care (UK): 08444779400 [email protected]

What changes a “clump of cells” into a baby?

The Order of the Traditional Catholic Mass

MASS OF THE CATECHUMENS

PRAYERS AT THE FOOT OF THE ALTAR: Priest adores God INTROIT: “Entrance” Prayer to hasten God’s advent KYRIE: Greek, A cry to the Trinity for mercy GLORIA: Angelic Hymn, an exultation of praise COLLECTS: Prayers of the day EPISTLE: Letters and teachings of Apostles GRADUAL: Psalm to unite prayers with instruction ALLELUIA: Hebrew, “Praise the Lord” GOSPEL: The words of Christ SERMON: Explanation of the Gospel CREED: “I believe” Profession of faith.

MASS OF THE FAITHFUL

1. Trying to find something to use as a bookmark besides used alcohol wipes and iv tape

2. Nurse: Haha Janelle you’re an inspiration for us all Me: My butt is showing in this hospital gown

3. Housekeeping lady: I’m going to be your favorite person today because I won’t be stabbing you with needles Me: You’re the backbone of this hospital and don’t let anyone tell you any different.

4. Nurse: What’s your pain level? Me: 6 I guess, I’ve felt worse. Me: *slams book closed* I’m too dizzy to read my pain level is now 10

5. urine and bowel movements are topic number one

6. Knowing your status, getting medical answers, finding a doctor in a hospital: filed as x-file

7. Complimentary mug

8. Me a to nutritionist: may I have some fruit crisp (as listed on menu)? *45 minutes later* Room service to me: we didn’t have any fruit crisp so we brought you banana creme pie Me: *cries on pie* 9. *hears person vomiting next door* Me: does the person next door have C Diff??? Nurse: … Me: I’m on broad spectrum antibiotics???? *30 minutes later* Nurse: the hospitalist wants you to be treated for C diff as precaution

10. Nurse: YOU HAVE HOW MANY CHILDREN??? Me: It’s not as bad as people make it out to be. They don’t run around the house naked and screaming you know, I do that.

11. THE LINE HAS AN OCCLUSION. ALWAYS. ALWAYS SCREAMING.

     Me: there are people out there and I don’t have pants only this butt flap

    *45 minutes later*

    Nurse: here take these

    Me: I can’t go out in these!

    Nurse: why?!

    Me: because 

The

World

Ain’t  

Ready

For 

bc we’re thirsty for notes

lol no but really i reblog three times after i post something so that people of different time zones see it

if i write a poem at night, i reblog it in the morning, afternoon, and night again the next day

if i wrote something this afternoon, i’ll reblog it again tonight, tomorrow morning, and tomorrow afternoon again

etc

bc people are online at different times

it annoys some people but i honestly couldn’t care less

I’ve come to talk with you again,

Because a vision softly creeping,

Left its seed while I was sleeping,

And the vision, that was planted in my brain,

Still remains, with the sound of silence,

In restless dreams I walked alone,

Narrow streets of cobblestone

‘Neath the halo of a street lamp,

I turned my collar to the cold and damp,

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light