Lv99 Guildhouse :)

I don’t want to keep writing notes. I don’t want to keep forgetting if I don’t. I don’t want to keep trying my best and feel like it goes nowhere. I don’t want to feel shame or guilt or denial or hurt or embarrassment because of my alters. I don’t want to feel like nobody understands. I don’t want to feel like I don’t understand myself and my experience. I don’t want to feel like I am always lost or losing something. I don’t want to feel like I need to hide from the world. I don’t want to feel alone when I’m with others. I don’t want the voices to attack me when I’m feeling stressed out. I don’t want to have psychosis on a regular basis. I don’t want to keep living this way. I don’t want to go to therapy. I don’t want to remember any more bad things. I don’t want to harm myself. I don’t want to feel like it’s the only option though. I don’t want to take my meds. I don’t want to function but I want to be functional. I am very tired. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to be awake. I don’t want to be what it is that I am. I want to feel peace inside and outside too.