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Penelope: love is in the air

Penelope: hotch..?

Penelope: hotch you’re turning blue

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Rossi: *smoking*

Spencer: you know that harms your lungs right? They say that every cigarette takes about 5 minutes away from your life

Rossi: oh well

Rossi: *lights two more cigarettes

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Jj: I have no cute clothes :(

Emily: be naked that’s cute enough

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Spencer: how do you do that?

Emily: I’m fearless

Spencer: I saw you run away from bees yesterday. You flailed around your arms, tripped over a chair and cried

Emily: I’m mostly fearless

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Emily: the last guys blood didn’t splatter against my face and shirt aesthetically enough so I have to kill again, sorry

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Derek, whispering: I’d fuck you

Spencer: what

Derek: I mean I love you

Spencer: what?!

Derek: UH I MEANT I HOPE YOU DIE

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Spencer: I’m worried everyone is mad at me..

Hotch: Spencer. You woke me up at 4am to tell me this.. I AM mad at you.

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Emily: having a vagina doesn’t stop me from thinking my balls are bigger than yours.

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Hotch: sit down

Emily: no one tells me what to do!

Jj: sit down

Emily: *sits down immediately*

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Jack: can you check for monsters under my bed?

Hotch: monsters don’t live under our beds they live inside of us

Jack:

Hotch: goodnight

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Spencer: *throws up a dinosaur shaped sponge* alright who switched out my pills.

Emily: *is not comforted by a relaxing spongy weight in her stomach* where are my fucking dinosaurs.

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Spencer: *breathes*

Derek: amazing… just amazing

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Penelope: I’m so hardcore, made of steel and haven’t felt emotion since 1969

Derek: you were just crying over cats

Penelope: ThEy’rE So CuDDly aNd SqUisHy

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Emily, on the phone to hotch: remember how I said I was gonna have a calm night?

Hotch: yes?

Emily: well I’m in jail

Hotch: *hangs up*

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Emily: I’m sorry- can you stop doing?? That weird thing with your face?

Spencer, sniffling: crying?!?

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•18+ Adults Only

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Jj: hey Spence, I like your top

Derek: I have a name

Spencer: *chokes*

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Hotch: Spencer we have been trying to find this coffee place for over three hours.

Spencer: well maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way

Hotch: Spencer. I want my fucking coffee.

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