grumpy little fool

Babygirl I’m popping joints that paleontologists don’t even know about

No, fuck. Chiropractors

Yo mama so old her chiropractor is a paleontologist

People are always talking about making John Green say “I love cocks” when it comes to having fun with tumblr’s ability to edit everyone’s posts but that one post where that person was saying fuckers and it got repeatedly edited to fudgers and meaners was 10000% funnier

#none of this reaches the level of one time when staff made a post about a website update #and someone deleted the whole post and instead wrote #Were Deleting This Website Sayonara You Weeaboo Shits #i think about that literally every day its been ten years #every night i think to myself Sayonara you weeaboo shits (@cryptovocel) 

Back when this site truly was lawless.

nah bro YOU live in a society. i live in a hole in the ground. not a nasty, dirty, wet hole with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and th

OP was forced to go on an adventure with Gandalf before they finished their post

op is definitely dead and by rights i’m moving into their blog

Well that’s one way to get more spoons

if you are looking for media that has lgbt characters that survive to the end consider watching my sex tape

great! i love horror movies!

if you are looking for media that has lgbt characters that survive to the end don’t read this textpost

Stupick killed the slime

bad news is that i have spent years cultivating the ability to pass as a normal social person in public only for it to be largely undone by 2020. the good news is that everyone else is ALSO out of practice so me being a giant weird is excusable

the context of this is that i shook someone's hand for the first time in years and i went about it in the weirdest weird possible and was like "sorry that was a pretty hesitant hand shake" and he replied "no it's okay. it was nice and warm." no offense but what the F U C K kind of conversation is that

A normal conversation that normal human beings hav

the most fucked up fictional universe is all those mouse movies where mice have a secret society underneath human society where they’re fighting mouse versions of the same wars and have the same religious oppression and each have a human version of themselves

Mouse Opium

THIS IS RHE FUNNIEST SOUND THING IVE EVER HEARD ON THIS SITE IT MAJES ME LAUGH SO MUCH I LOVE IT IM SO HAPPY

You all have no idea how long I’ve been looking for this post!!! I’m so happy to see it again! It’s been 84 years and I can still smell the fresh paint. Holy shit thank you so much, Internet, I love you!!!

if you got like a 100kilo bag of glitter and opened it up and left it in the path of like a tornado i think that would be interesting. i dont care abt ecological damage btw

I do. 100kg bag of seaweed based glitter.

i dont. 100kg bag of enriched uranium based glitter

wait isnt uranium denser than lead how heavy would a 100kg bag of uranium be

thyrell.

just kill me

$23.99

no other social media platform has lore quite like tumblr’s

the gods that haunt this place are unlike any others

I just saw a tiktok comment saying that tumblr right now is like a place recovered from being irradiated

Sign outside Tumblr: “This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. …”

id: screenshot of tags reading “the wildlife carries on in the ruins like nothing ever happened”

Thanks, I hate it

Math people scare me... they can DO NUMBERS??

what in the name of Christ is this post

yall joke but this is actually a serious conundrun with cladistic-based classification

What if Bird and reptiles are two different things that came from the same thing

But don’t turtles and alligators have more in common with modern reptiles than modern birds have in common with modern reptiles? I’m not trying to contradict, I’m trying to understand. Mammals and reptiles have a common ancestor as well, but we do not make them the same group.

don’t throw reptiles against the wall? please? some of them are small and delicate. you could hurt them.

IIRC the fish thing is so frustrating that scientists have decided fish is just not real cladistic grouping at all

hey could we go back please to the bit where the closest relative of Birds is Crocodiles? bc I am alarmed

This entire post sums up everything we’re not allowed to mention in our Vertebrata classes because the last time someone started that argument they had to break up a fistfight.

*runs in ten minutes late with a plucked chicken* BEHOLD A LIZARD

you could have left the feathers on this time tbh

It was already plucked. They just STOLE IT from philosophy 101.

Every turn on this post has been a left, but somehow it hasn’t hit itself, and instead just spiralled outwards like some Ancient Greco-Roman floor design, enveloping taxonomy Tumblr in chaos.

we were so close to this ending on a good note… why…

this fucking post popped up in my dash again i swear it haunts me since the day i posted it why must it come back why must it always have that last pic attached why did this happen i did not sign for this.

Who doesn’t love a happy ending!!