Cannibal Carter

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ᡕᠵデᡁ᠊╾━ MEET CARTER (me hi)

╰┈> 17 as of 8/5/2025 ⊹ ࣪ ˖

bigender + queer ˎˊ˗

⚠️This blog is a mix of sfw/nsfw, just be warned that i am a minor (i do not CARE how unsafe that is, i’m almost 18, get a grip)⚠️

MOVIES & TV: [ The Passenger (2023), Ginger Snaps (2000), Dinner in America (2020), Jennifer’s Body (2009), Carrie (1976), Romeo & Juliet (1996), Secretary (2002), Hamilton, Party Monster (2003), Heathers (1989), Pretty in Pink (1986), Edward Scissorhands (1990), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), The Saw Franchise, The Scream Franchise, The Nightmare on Elm St Franchise, The Terrifier Trilogy, The IT movies/miniseries, Stranger Things, Anything Peanuts Related, IANOWT, The Middle, ETC.]

MUSIC: [ Machine Girl, Prolaps, Phyllomedusa, Ghost Mountain, Semetary, Apati, The Kossoy Sisters, Elvis, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Frank Sinatra, Nancy Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Conan Gray, Laufey, Beabadoobee, Faye Webster, Donovan, Clairo, Dead Kennedys, Kate Bush, Johnny Cash, SOAD, Bon Jovi, Queen, Panic!, MCR, FOB, Alanis Morissette, Norah Jones, Jack off Jill, Kittie, Flyleaf, Avril Lavigne, basically any and everything including country tbh ]

BOOKS: [ I don’t read a TON besides a few stephen king books and shakespeare plays tbh. I rlly like hamlet if that means something to you ]

INTERESTS/HOBBIES: [ I enjoy writing and collecting the most. I have a pretty big Peanuts/Charlie Brown/Snoopy collection. I also collect porcelain dolls and some horror/slasher merch. i also collect physical media such as CDs, records, cassettes, and DVDs. If you wanna see any of it, dms are open!

I also do theatre and sing a lot, and I did colorguard in marching band for a bit!!! ]

Links

Pinterest || Spotify

Nsfw under the cut

Silence all around me

I think to myself

I am so selfish, so selfish for taking up the space that could have been used for someone prettier

Smarter

More talented

I had a really big spiral yesterday, something I haven’t gone through in a very long time. No matter what was going on, there was an unavoidable feeling in me that felt as though i was being punched in the gut repeatedly. I felt anxious to the point of sickness, and unsure of everything in my life.

I’ve said it a few times on here but I truly think I’m undeserving of anything romantic. I have traits that make it feel impossible for me to give a romantic partner what they need. I feel unreliable at times, i get avoidant, and i quickly switch between what feels like mania and depression, but i wont put those labels on it. Yesterday, along with a very big dysphoria episode, i felt truly unloveable. I felt like all of my bad traits personified.

I took a 3 hour long nap yesterday at some point in the afternoon. I ended up having a dream where it felt like my entire life was being ruined before my very eyes, as well as all of my feelings being crushed. When I woke up, I ended up having a breakdown

I’ve always been jealous of cis men in relationships. Mostly with mlm relationships. I present very feminine, and I love being feminine. But when I see cis men in a loving relationship I feel a mix of rage and yearning, knowing it’ll be hard for me to find someone like that. Someone that doesn’t automatically see me as just a girl, and someone that can put up with me.

This was one of my breaking points. And the biggest reason things started. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The anxiety and realization that I could spend the rest of my life without someone to take care of me or for me to take care of scared me to the point where I could barely leave my bed.

I’m still in the whole mindset right now but I can feel myself slowly getting better, it’s weird