Hit Em With The Sacré Bleu

omg if i was an oracle i would be LYYYYYINGGGG

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

*Emails you my spore*

what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

pollo👍

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

damn i really need to use my sword to defend- *sees the backlash against knight-posting, hastily pivoting to mamluk-posting* my caliph.