Special K!

died and came back wrong and no one could tell the difference

watching a tiktok and someone just described the black/blue gold/yellow dress meme as “one of the first things to ever go viral”

ok the irony and misinformation in the tags is making me insane. leprosy? caused by bacteria! and not actually that contagious! tuberculosis? bacterial! bubonic plague? also bacterial!! if you want an early viral infection smallpox is right there! polio! hell, even influenza! bacteria ≠ viruses!

my fatal flaw is that if i don't want to do something i just won't do it like mama raised a quitter for sure.. i'll be doing something and suddenly be like damn what if i just didn't 🤔. very freeing but also i suffer so many consequences

i tried to hire a hypeman and the cheapest one (free) was a fucking wizard and now i cant get rid of her. she keeps saying shit like "she speaketh true" and "very wise milady" everytime i say fuckin anything and if she sees a car she tries to attack it with chain lightning. fucking embarassing honestly

this one made a lot of yoy very horny for some reason

Sold my brand new key to buy my wife a rollerskate cleaning kit but she sold her pair of rollerskates to buy a car for my key

Get domesticated, you cold idiot.

imagine the most meanspirited, unlikeable, rude, bitter, self centered, negative person you can think of. not a rapist, not a murderer, not an abuser. just a charmless, tactless, dyed in the wool asshole you wouldn't want to spend two seconds with. now assume they get sick, not with the flu, but with a long term, serious illness that limits their ability to provide for themself. a society in which that person is left to die alone because nobody likes them on a personal level is a failed society.

and the thing is, no matter how likeable or charming or cute you are, peoples' patience runs out. the friends who drop everything to rush you to the ER the first time you shit blood tell you to stop being so tmi the fourteenth time. people might give you a couch to crash on the first week after your shitty ex kicks you out, but by week eight, you better have another place to stay. people run out of time, patience, money, compassion, energy. there needs to be an impersonal option, a real safety net that isn't going to dump you when you become inconvenient

ppl who think jungkook is princess Diana have a stronger argument than people who think taylor swift is gay

i love the 😌 and 😔 emojis so much because they convey such specific emotions, but also those emotions are absolutely not "relieved" and "pensive"

I love being alone <- girl who has known nothing but loneliness her entire life and so has no choice but to take comfort in it

abandonment issues are sooooo funny. "i'm scared people will leave me so i push them away first to avoid being hurt" girl the prophecy is self fulfilling!!! the sabotage is coming from within!!! you forgot about the cycle!!!!!!!!!

I think everyone, both normal and cis people, should get two free legal name changes at no cost

What’s not clicking