Wherever you go, go with all your heart.

Ma, Pa, patato lang kami sa kapitbahay! At gusto rin namin mapicturan yung pader natin na may graffiti ng @crimsonrivertattoo 🤩 Salamat @gigiebear and @baked_poketato_ 🤗 Ang ganda ng gawa niyo 😍 Sobrang masaya kami ni Leng! 👭 Miss ka namin Maieeeee, mananatili ka sa puso namin 🤍 (at Crimson River Tattoo) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl8u9SJP7B4/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

"I never understood grief until I experienced it myself." I came across this article from Thought Catalog and I am trying to reflect where am I now in this journey. December 1, 2021 - Maimai left so suddenly. Sa lahat ng heartbreaks ko in life, ito yung pinakamasakit. Harder to deal because it was unexpected, traumatic experience. I know by wearing my heart on my sleeve, some people became uncomfortable about it. Thank you for friends and family who let me cry and laugh at the same time without judging me. I don't expect naman everyone will understand kasi kahit ako hindi ko rin naiintindihan yung sarili ko. I am thankful enough to find such safe space for grievers like me @lady.bug.art (she also started a group called A Message to Rainbow Bridge) @petlosspsychologist @petgriefletters @grieftogloriousunfolding @wpsugrief . Hindi ko alam mangyayari sa akin sa isang araw, umiiyak parin ako habang kumakain, naghuhugas ng plato, habang may zoom meeting, habang nagtatrabaho, while sitting inside the bus, even while walking to the grocery store. Lagi parin namin kinakausap si Maieee, tinatawag at kinakausap kasi nakikita ko parin yung mukha niya nakatingin samin tuwing tinatawag at masayang tumatakbo papunta samin. They say living with grief is living the duality of life. And it is normal. It is okay. It still comes in waves. Minsan kalmado yung alon, minsan nakakalunod kailangan ko humiga. Occasions are hard to navigate as much as everyday life. But slowly I am getting to a place where there are no whys, accepting that grief has no timeline and experience stages of it and going back again to the start. Maieeeee, we miss you every single day. ❤️‍🩹🤍 We miss our hugs and rubrub and raro and lablab time. 🥺 Kumusta ang first year mo in doggie heaven? We love you forever pooyeeepumpum. 🤍❤️‍🩹 https://www.instagram.com/p/Clm6J1cPwmt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Happy 6th birthday to our lovey pumpumim, Maimai! 🐶❤ Thank you @barkinbakesph for the liver round cake! 🤗 https://www.instagram.com/p/CMMs34kn-OV/?igshid=1519lz4x3dhck

#Repost @pixar (@get_repost) ・・・ Love yourself inside and out. 💙 https://www.instagram.com/p/CLu6GB2nZcE/?igshid=cakldbv4crf7

#Repost @swatercolour (@get_repost) ・・・ happy new year everyone ! be nice to you https://www.instagram.com/p/CJe_ZlnH7tK/?igshid=1sds829t7afi7

Happy birthday, Jesus! 🌟 Merry Christmas! ❤ https://www.instagram.com/p/CJNirHOH3Rb/?igshid=cckgki0l5gvy

PND Christmas Party 2020! It's that time of the year for our high school barkada's annual Christmas party! And of course, birthday salubong for Pamela! Happy birthday, Pammy! 🎉🎉🎉 We've been doing this after we left high school since we have gone to different colleges and universities. Always looking forward to this reunion. ❤ Hindi pwede mawala ang aming Three Things exchange gift tradition! Hindi lang pwede mag-agawan ng hot items this year! Hot item! Hot item! Started from agawan sa yellow pad paper now we're here! 😂🤣😂🤣😂 https://www.instagram.com/p/CIb8tNJHSvK/?igshid=1ege695rc0g7b

Feels.

A little past 8am kanina, nagulat ako pumasok si Maimai sa kwarto. Usually kasi mga ganung oras, chill lang siya sa sala after nila mag-walk ni Papa. Kaya nilagay ko muna siya sa kama habang start na ako mag-work. Umidlip pa. Hehe antok pa ata siya. 6am siya lagi nagigising at siya ang alarm clock ko 😂 Love you, Maieeeee! 😘🤗🐶❤ https://www.instagram.com/p/CE9KXg4HwUW/?igshid=1ibetk6503s5a

I had a quick chat with my dear friend Jaja a few days ago. Ang galing kasi ng mga dance workout niya at home! It made me reflect on my small win these past months. Bilang hindi naman ako magaling sumayaw, I opted for 15 minutes exercises everyday. I started last May, my goal is only to have happy hormones and to keep my sanity. During start of quarantine last March, I had sleepless nights and surge of anxiety which led to stress eating. Nasabi ko rin nun kay Leng na, ghorl ang dami ko na ata nakakain (thank you, Lord for the food), then sabi ni Leng, okay lang naman kumain, then yun ang motivation mo na mag-exercise para makakain ka ng mga "masasarap". Ang hirap talaga at first makakuha ng routine. Baby steps, every after work hours, usually 6pm start na ako ng 15-min workout. May days na tamad ako, as in may more than 2 weeks na nag-stop ako, and ilang days pa after that. Then I had to revisit my goal. Little did I know, these small steps would really manifest. I became consious with what I eat, I set up a water alarm to monitor my water intake, nakakatulong narin na I live with my parents, because they have to watch what they eat. Yes, may cheat days ako. Napapadalas nga! I don't deprive myself. Pero mag-6 months na ako walang milk tea! Anyways, my body is very, very, very far from kung ano man ang sinasabing "standards" na fit or healthy. But I feel lighter. I hope matuloy ko pa. Hooray for happy hormones! https://www.instagram.com/p/CEv1mO4nu19/?igshid=ryx7fr0mfn8v

@mummyabs "Vongole pasta, hana!" "Yes, Chef!" 🙋‍♀️👨‍🍳👩‍🍳 Sorry cheppp! Wala akong ingredients for vongole kaya gumawa nalang ako ng own version ko ng aglio e olio angel hair pasta with hungarian sausageee and basil ++chili flakes and parmesan cheeseee! Papasa na po ba ako na kitchen assistant man lang sa La Sfera, Chep? 😂 Aigoo!!! 🤦‍♀️ Hangover sa Pasta (yes, Korean drama series) 😂 Define escapism. https://www.instagram.com/p/CEjLHJpnjyb/?igshid=1gdm9ba4wzzw1

Maimai bling 🐶❤💕💗💓 https://www.instagram.com/p/CEWlNaCHdU6/?igshid=1qfap3esrql56

#ItsOkayToNotBeOkay Been wanting to write a review since the series ended last Sunday. Sharing some of my thoughts: 1. I miss KSH. ❤ This is his comeback project after his military service. So, namiss ko talaga siya. ❤ 2. The story is comforting to me especially during this time of quarantine. It is an emotional healing drama that tackles about mental health issues and autism awareness. Kudos to the writers and directors pulling off a script and fairy tale readings that gave us many life lessons, (often times really tugging at my heart) and a superb cinematography to match it. I will miss the sceneries of the fictional Seongjin City. 3. It also gave me a warm feeling seeing familiar faces of the cast members, Director Oh (bestfriend siya ni KSH sa  MLFTS, Juri-eomma (eomma siya ni Park Shin Hye sa The Heirs), gusto ko malaman recipe sa side dish na quail eggs and gusto ko rin tumira sa bahay nila at mag-hangout sa rooftop. Sangtae (Oh Jung Se - I only got to see him in WTCB and really, he is one of the versatile actors around!), Jaesu (bestfriend siya ni Lee Je Hoon sa Tomorrow, with You) And all of the supporting characters, para ko narin naging new found friends. While with Seo Ye Ji, yes I've seen her before but it really took me a while (like maybe until episode 8 or 9? Halfway na) to finally convince myself na yes, okay, meron talaga silang chemistry ni KSH. 😊 O masyado lang akong clingy kay baby love. 🤣😂😍 4. Yes, may plot holes and at times slow paced. I think for me, may mga series talaga na they take time to unravel the whole story. This is the first time, in how many years, that I watched an on going series, so I am always waiting for the weekends to come. While on Twitter, episode hashtags were always trending and I enjoyed reading tweets relating to the same way I am feeling. 5. Soundtrack is equally soothing to my ears. I had to listen to it again on loop, even the intro, it got me teary eyed when they played it at the end credits for the last episode. All of it left me crying until I fell asleep after watching the finale. ❤ So yes, tVN and Studio Dragon collab is daebak again! 👏👏👏👍🏻👍🏻🙌🙌🙌 https://www.instagram.com/p/CD85FEOH3yw/?igshid=hsfji1tic8zp