the book is better

it is genuinely bewildering to me that adult human beings do not know this but if you are mean to people they will not like you. like tbh they are probably also not going to like you if you are mean to other people but they are definitely not going to like you if you are mean to them. it doesn’t matter if you are funny or if you can use r/aita rules to prove that you are in the right. people simply do not enjoy being treated like shit.

It is so fucking exhausting fighting your brain every day dude

I don't think you can be redeemed.

i know this is one of those hateful & misogynistic bots but i’d like to imagine they’re just very passionate about adrian being green

T shirt that says “I ❤️ getting laid” & then on the back it says “to REST” with a photo of a coffin + the name & phone number for a local cemetery. Please follow for more advertising ideas

*looks at polyamorous triad* so which of you is the soldier and which is the poet and which is the king

Marylanders don’t say hi hello how are you my name is they just try to kill you with their car. which is of course a great honor in their culture

foresees your doom but doesnt say anything

I think Rocky named Grace ‘Dumbass’ or ‘Idiot’ or something and then just never changed it. Then when they get to Erid he’s so used to calling his alien friend ‘Shithead Moron’ that when he introduces him to a large crowd they’re all like ‘woah man what the fuck’ and ‘that’s not nice!’ and ‘you can’t say that bro that’s too mean’ and Rocky has to awkwardly explain to Grace why they’re upset. Grace, who is now very familiar with Rocky’s standard vocabulary, laughs until he is crying on the floor and can’t breath, which makes all the other Eridians panic while Rocky stands there yelling at Grace that it’s not that funny asshole.

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

I’ve seen this post easily 12 times now and EVERY TIME it’s just a different cat looking at a different door. 

Get so fucking real, the princess is not unbuckling the knights armor. The knights squire is going to unbuckle the knights armor and the princess is simply going to wait in her chambers for it to be done. You're mistaken if you think the princess is going to touch your field armor.

The princess is sitting in the cuck chair while the squire unbuckles the knight's armor. The knight doesn't know what's going on.