I feel like we don't talk enough about Tastuki's fatherhood when it's so tragic to me. Not only because of what happens to him obviously, but reguarding his point of view specifically.
Like the story does not follow the trope of "bad parent creates bad consequences on their child's life" but more like "unintentional bad parenting", which is really sad knowing Tatsuki only ever approched Souichi with good intentions and love. And it's not even in a "this is for your own good" way, like he doesn't seem to even realize what he's doing is bad, because he probably went through the same education than him without realizing it was toxic, or at least thinking he left out the toxic parts out of Souichi's education.
Now Tastuki did not passed through this miraculously he's obviously very unstable but managed to live with this because of privileges, which is another point I find interesting.
We know how he practically taught Souichi to mask as a child in some flashback, when he isn't doing this at all, nor is Souichi when he becomes the leader. The whole "don't forget to be normal" to "just do whatever you want" speech, which implies that there is this unfortunately very real idea of being able to be your true self, only when you are a powerful figure, for no one would contest you out of fear. This fits well with how the whole Kiruma family is so neurodivergent coded.
But even besides that, knowing there will be a time where Souichi will be free to do whatever he wants as a leader, he still develops his mental issues, and that moment we see him at the hospital with Tastuki is just so sad, because it's the consequences of Tastuki's education finally being shown to him, and he doesn't understand why that's happening. He looks so genuinely sad for Souichi, he did what was best to him for his son but it still failed. And so, he builds the whole system to "reinsert" Souichi's memory, and it just shows how much he cares for him again :(((
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I feel like we don't talk enough about Tastuki's fatherhood when it's so tragic to me. Not only because of what happens to him obviously, but reguarding his point of view specifically.
Like the story does not follow the trope of "bad parent creates bad consequences on their child's life" but more like "unintentional bad parenting", which is really sad knowing Tatsuki only ever approched Souichi with good intentions and love. And it's not even in a "this is for your own good" way, like he doesn't seem to even realize what he's doing is bad, because he probably went through the same education than him without realizing it was toxic, or at least thinking he left out the toxic parts out of Souichi's education.
Now Tastuki did not passed through this miraculously he's obviously very unstable but managed to live with this because of privileges, which is another point I find interesting.
We know how he practically taught Souichi to mask as a child in some flashback, when he isn't doing this at all, nor is Souichi when he becomes the leader. The whole "don't forget to be normal" to "just do whatever you want" speech, which implies that there is this unfortunately very real idea of being able to be your true self, only when you are a powerful figure, for no one would contest you out of fear. This fits well with how the whole Kiruma family is so neurodivergent coded.
But even besides that, knowing there will be a time where Souichi will be free to do whatever he wants as a leader, he still develops his mental issues, and that moment we see him at the hospital with Tastuki is just so sad, because it's the consequences of Tastuki's education finally being shown to him, and he doesn't understand why that's happening. He looks so genuinely sad for Souichi, he did what was best to him for his son but it still failed. And so, he builds the whole system to "reinsert" Souichi's memory, and it just shows how much he cares for him again :(((
Adolescence of Utena as a sequel to RGU is such a brilliant tackling of how Anthy navigates the fallout of leaving behind the abusive world of her brother.
Her brother is dead. Her abuser is gone. The specter of him infects her world though. Anthy seeks out Utena. She brings the people Utena knows and loves into a miraculous school, and she goes to meet Utena, but then the moment is ruined. Utena does not remember Anthy. Even worse, Utena wears the Rose Seal.
In a world void of her abuser, Anthy realizes she does not know how to desire or be desired as anyone other than the Rose Bride. So she falls back into the role. She tries to seduce Utena as the Rose Bride. She tries to fit herself and Utena into a dynamic she is familiar: the naive Prince and the attentive Rose Bride. It doesn't work, and the body of Anthy's trauma rots beneath the roses until it's dug up.
I've always been confused about why Utena was so fixated on Touga in the movie, but on my most recent rewatch, it clicked. In the original series, Utena misremembers Touga as her Prince. In the movie, she is misremembering Touga once more, attributing to him promises and emotions she actually felt for Anthy. Touga is the violence Utena experienced in Akio's world and then forgot once she entered Anthy's world. It's another body Anthy did not account for.
When Utena has her breakdown in the rose garden, she acts in a way familiar to Anthy. She tackles Anthy and shoves her to the ground. White butterflies, associated with sexual violence, flutter in the background and Anthy gives into it willingly. She swears this is what she wants: to be Utena's even if it means being Utena's Rose Bride. But Utena surprises Anthy again. She doesn't hurt Anthy, she just mourns the fact that she never got to see the stars with Touga. And this brings directly to mind their most precious promise from the series: Someday, together, we'll shine.
Utena falls asleep, and Anthy is able to act against the role of the Rose Bride for Utena's sake. She stands, and she destroys her rose garden so that Utena can see the stars.
When Utena confesses what she wants, Anthy does the impossible for Utena: she becomes a Rose Bride without roses. It's another step in Anthy and Utena's long and difficult journey of navigating the effects of the trauma they've experienced, and, like the series, it affirms that the agency required to recover from abuse is in the hands of the victim.
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Currently gathering references for Baku's sukajan, I always find it so cute that he's wearing what seems to be a chinese top (?) since we know Kyara is from Hong Kong, I like to think he got it for him. So cute, Kyara found the stinky white kitty in the trash, cleaned her and dressed her, so sweet
Apparently Usogui's coming to France soon, j'espère que quand ça deviendra hype mes artistes auront la vision de donner a Hal de la mélanine et pretty golden eyes as it should parce que je perds 5 ans de vie a chaque fois que je vois ses bright blue eyes la
Has anyone found a way to watch the usogui mini serie yet, I cannot live knowing there is more usogui content I can't watch pls anyone wdym there are episodes specifically made for Kaji and Ranko I'm going to scream
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Has anyone found a way to watch the usogui mini serie yet, I cannot live knowing there is more usogui content I can't watch pls anyone wdym there are episodes specifically made for Kaji and Ranko I'm going to scream
Some messy thoughts about the KajiHal dynamic + some stuff about Kaji's role in general and a bit of BakuHal dynamic cause everything works in parallel in usogui and it's making me scream
Actually it's more of a "here's why I think Kaji and Hal should interact more" but also "here's why they literally can't or everything explodes" I guess
So first, they both got mommy issues : for Kaji it's quite obvious regarding his past abuse, as for Hal, I may be overthinking it but despite the clear "maybe don't show a child their mom's assassination" situation, I feel like he probably connected to her when watching the video through her behaviour. Small Kiruma parenthesis, it's clear that they're all some kind of neurodivergent in the family, but Eko and Hal looks to be more similar compared to Tatsuki, so that probably created a kind of lack in Hal to me. Like they could have had a close relationship maybe, similar to Kaji wanting a loving relationship with his mom.
Then there's the multiple father figures situation. Kaji did not have a stable father figure due to his mom lifestyle, and Floyd even provokes him on that (not nice) while Hal also has a LOT of father figures since all of Kakerou practically raised him, and that can be both opposed or paralleled in a certain way ?
Finally, mourning. There's this weird situation with Hal not being able to mourn his dad because of his amnesia and thinking he's alive, and like, with Kaji, it's the fact that his mom is well alive but knowing he has always lived with her for 23 years and is suddenly cut off from her thanks to Baku... It's so sudden, it's like she died, and it creates a weird schrödinger-esque parental status for them??
Anyway yeah Hal and Kaji have much parental stuff to talk to each other but guess what- they can't !!!
To put it very simply Kaji gain a strong power in Protoporos, it's called having a healthy relationship with yourself and whenever he tries to talk about it to Baku, the whole manga prevents him from doing it hhh. It's almost funny how everything will stops Kaji from talking to Baku from Game of Contradiction until the end (almost). And like, I'm sure even if he has not yet come to term with his issues before, knowing he has it "not as bad" as Baku or Hal (I'm not lessening the impact of child abuse btw) as in Kaji is probably the least unstable of the three, I'm sure he could have still talk things through with Hal and made a difference.
Hal seems more open to hear about mental issues than Baku, Baku seems fully aware but in denial while Hal doesn't seem to question it because everyone agrees with him since he's the leader. And while he may refute it at first, I feel like the things Kaji could tell him could linger in his mind you know. Like Kaji just needed one look at Hal to know "oh something's wrong with you huh" I'm sure he could drive his wedge in him as they say.
BUT THEN I said that it couldn't happen cause if Kaji was to actually talk to Hal, and let's say that Hal listens to him, what would Baku do ? Like Hal would just go "oh yeah you're right Kaji maybe we shouldn't try kill each other with Baku" and then just go to Baku to discuss things ? Absolutely not hhh that would be such a frustrating ending, even Baku wouldn't allow it. Which is why such conversation between Hal and Kaji does not happen, cause it would just show us even more that Baku and Hal are doomed to go all in (pun intended) in their fate fight or whatever. I'm saying this cause this isn't the first time the plot shows this, like the dynamic between Hal and Baku is so illogical, it doesn't go in a straight line and instead of following the logical way of them fighting against each other(debut usogui)-> then fighting together but not sincerely(Protoporos)->then fighting together truly this time(so post-DTH), it just go from fighting together truly as allies(air poker) right away to being full rivals again in DTH, because they're simply too contradictory (I could talk about the whole stuff of Baku representing chaos as is mentioned several time in the manga while Hal is of course a very control-focus person but it's getting way too long and everyone knows that's already but yeah)
Anyway missed opportunity for Kaji and Hal to hang out more bit it's for the plot so I guess they can be friends after Baku and Hal metaphorically make out, then it'd be ok.
Some messy thoughts about the KajiHal dynamic + some stuff about Kaji's role in general and a bit of BakuHal dynamic cause everything works in parallel in usogui and it's making me scream
Actually it's more of a "here's why I think Kaji and Hal should interact more" but also "here's why they literally can't or everything explodes" I guess
So first, they both got mommy issues : for Kaji it's quite obvious regarding his past abuse, as for Hal, I may be overthinking it but despite the clear "maybe don't show a child their mom's assassination" situation, I feel like he probably connected to her when watching the video through her behaviour. Small Kiruma parenthesis, it's clear that they're all some kind of neurodivergent in the family, but Eko and Hal looks to be more similar compared to Tatsuki, so that probably created a kind of lack in Hal to me. Like they could have had a close relationship maybe, similar to Kaji wanting a loving relationship with his mom.
Then there's the multiple father figures situation. Kaji did not have a stable father figure due to his mom lifestyle, and Floyd even provokes him on that (not nice) while Hal also has a LOT of father figures since all of Kakerou practically raised him, and that can be both opposed or paralleled in a certain way ?
Finally, mourning. There's this weird situation with Hal not being able to mourn his dad because of his amnesia and thinking he's alive, and like, with Kaji, it's the fact that his mom is well alive but knowing he has always lived with her for 23 years and is suddenly cut off from her thanks to Baku... It's so sudden, it's like she died, and it creates a weird schrödinger-esque parental status for both of them??
Anyway yeah Hal and Kaji have much parental stuff to talk to each other but guess what- they can't !!!
To put it very simply Kaji gain a strong power in Protoporos, it's called having a healthy relationship with yourself and whenever he tries to talk about it to Baku, the whole manga prevents him from doing it hhh. It's almost funny how everything will stops Kaji from talking to Baku from Game of Contradiction until the end (almost). And like, I'm sure even if he has not yet come to term with his issues before, knowing he has it "not as bad" as Baku or Hal (I'm not lessening the impact of child abuse btw) as in Kaji is probably the least unstable of the three, I'm sure he could have still talk things through with Hal and made a difference.
Hal seems more open to hear about mental issues than Baku, Baku seems fully aware but in denial while Hal doesn't seem to question it because everyone agrees with him since he's the leader. And while he may refute it at first, I feel like the things Kaji could tell him could linger in his mind you know. Like Kaji just needed one look at Hal to know "oh something's wrong with you huh" I'm sure he could drive his wedge in him as they say.
BUT THEN I said that it couldn't happen cause if Kaji was to actually talk to Hal, and let's say that Hal listens to him, what would Baku do ? Like Hal would just go "oh yeah you're right Kaji maybe we shouldn't try to kill each other with Baku" and then just go to Baku to discuss things ? Absolutely not hhh that would be such a frustrating ending, even Baku wouldn't allow it. Which is why such conversation between Hal and Kaji does not happen, cause it would just show us even more that Baku and Hal are doomed to go all in (pun intended) in their fate fight or whatever. I'm saying this cause this isn't the first time the plot shows this, like the dynamic between Hal and Baku is so illogical, it doesn't go in a straight line and instead of following the logical way of them fighting against each other(debut usogui)-> then fighting together but not sincerely(Protoporos)->then fighting together truly this time(so post-DTH), it just go from fighting together truly as allies(air poker) right away to being full rivals again in DTH, because they're simply too contradictory (I could talk about the whole stuff of Baku representing chaos as is mentioned several times in the manga while Hal is of course a very control-focus person but it's getting way too long and everyone knows that's already but yeah)
Anyway missed opportunity for Kaji and Hal to hang out more but it's for the plot so I guess they can be friends after Baku and Hal metaphorically make out, then it'd be ok.
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Today I realized that usogui is maybe more than just a silly temporary hyperfixation to me cause I zoned out when I was drawing and just stared at my screen for 40min while having kajihal thoughts then went to take a shower and zoned out in it as well so yeah that was weird
