hotline bling

Earlier today I made a remark that wasn’t necessary

I love watching dvds... bc the little commercials beforehand will be like "coming to you spring 2008!" like man. I can't wait for 2008

hi its nice to meet you :) (uses my ability to implant memories of us being childhood friends into your subconscious so you already like me) i mean hey its been so long howve you been hows your mom (remembers your mom died when you were very young and i had implanted memories of comforting you at the funeral) uhhh i mean your other mom (implants memories of your dad transitioning)

my most extreme weirdest kink is being wanted. my tamest kink is knife play

so it’s a wednesday night in july and you’re at home and you’ve showered and you’ve masturbated and you’ve gnawed at the inside of your mouth and you’ve eaten and washed the dishes and fixed a corner of the fitted sheet on your bed and texted your grandmother and thought positive thoughts and still the feeling comes. what then

id lie right to willy wonkas face. “did you drink fizzy lifting drinks” of course not. And then id hit him

Sex scenes should be cut out of all movies but they should be replaced by a series of strange avant- garde shots of industrial machines and objects grinding and rubbing and spinning and vibrating and whining and entering each other that implies some freak shit is going on

you know what they say: liquor before beer, 500 devils appear

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

i need all the help i can get for finals

Reblogging to spread the luck and the good fortune