Emperor Gaius

Jax doesn't so much as slow his relaxed stride once he’s caught, arms folded haphazardly behind his head as he strolls down the colorful hallway, not a care in the world. "It's cute that you think I care enough about you to want to follow you." He tells him, the corners of his lips twisting as he cants his head in Gaius’ direction. "Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart. We just so happen to be walking the same way."

Feet kicked up on a nearby table in the Cirque Cafe, hot chocolate in hand, Jax thinks he could listen to this guy ramble on about whatever for as long as he wants. Aside from the occasional interested noise, or 'you don't say' thrown in, he's barely had to say a word.

He pulls his mug to his lips for a quick sip of the liquid, and when his eyes dart back to the table, he notices something shiny sitting on the edge of it on Gaius side. That wasn't there before. Gaius hasn't shut up about some squabble he had to deal with involving the. . . colosseum, or something, and Jax takes advantage of how much this guy loves to hear himself talk by reaching out and snagging the artifact from the table to study up close, without him noticing.

Slowly, his green eyes slid toward the empty spot on the table. “...Jax.” The emperor's voice became dangerously pleasant. “That object was over here approximately three seconds ago.” Gaius finally turned his head. His gaze landed on whatever Jax was currently doing with the little golden sphere with emerald buttons.

Then he groaned and leaned back in his chair. “Oh, for Elysium's sake.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “You couldn't have stolen a normal thing, could you? A coin. A spoon. A decorative vase. No. You saw a mysterious fancy object belonging to an ancient Roman emperor and immediately thought ‘Yes, this seems like an excellent life decision.’”

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Little by little his expression shifts, head cocking slightly as he regards him. Shouldn't Caine have noticed the flickering lights bit by now? Unless him and Bubble were too busy f[BLEEP]ing around to care that one of their NPC's got loose. "Of course I have a personality. I'm the FUNNY one. It comes with the gig. Who'd you think you were talking to, Plank?" Jax quips, his grin still wide. He's almost positive he's not going to get that reference, but who knows; he wasn't expecting Zoobie to catch on to his Breaking Bad reference, either.

"Ohh right, I forgot what a common name Gaius is." It comes out dry, almost bored this time. He brings the hand not fisted against his hip up to study his nails, wishing not for the first time that he didn't have the stupid gloves on. Once the sparks start flying, however, he glances up, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. "Are you trying to say a twink couldn't have done all those things? Tch, and here I thought a harbinger of peace would be more LGBTQ+ friendly. Ican already see the ratings dropping."

Jax amuses himself by adopting a stricken expression of his own, mock offence plain on his avatar's face. Nothing is ever taken seriously, because nothing IS serious around here. He watches Gaius come closer as he lets his hands fall again, crossing arms loosely over his chest as he steps closer.

He wont give him the satisfaction of backing away, but his smirk does tighten slightly around the edges. The comment about this place being a prison is closer to the truth than he'd like to admit. "Pfft, what? Are you calling the Amazing Digital Circus a gilded cage? This place is giving Disney a run for its money as the happiest place on Earth."

Ears twitch at the open cursing, one of them drooping forward slightly and annoyance bleeds into the grin he's plastered in place. "S[BLEEP]. Mother[BLEEP]. A[BLEEP]LE." The rabbit starts, testing the limits out of pure curiosity. When the usual sound effects replace his words, he's not surprised in the least. It's such a common occurrence, it's hardly even noticeable anymore. "Well that's just not fair." Jax complains.

Then he pointed accusingly at Jax. “And for the record, I never said a twink couldn't command legions. I said that I commanded legions.” He smiled. “I am perfectly capable of being both.” The emperor looked entirely too proud of this statement.

The moment was ruined further when Jax began testing the censorship. The rabbit swore. BLEEP. Swore again. BLEEP. Again. BLEEP. For several seconds Gaius simply stood there. Then his eyes lit up. “Oh, that's hilarious!” He immediately pointed at the empty air. “Shit.” Nothing happened. “Fuck.” Nothing. “Ass.” Nothing. He grinned triumphantly. “Hah! You know what? Fair!”

“Also.” He added conversationally. “The fact that your prison censors profanity but allows existential suffering tells me everything I need to know about whoever designed this place.” For a moment he looked as though he were conducting a serious academic analysis of the matter.

Then he laughed. The rabbit's continuing string of censored swears drew his attention again. Gaius tilted his head. Then a few red sparks danced around his fingertips. The sparks drifted lazily toward the floating [BLEEP] effect. They touched a censor. POP. The effect vanished. The circus lights immediately flickered in protest. Gaius froze. The circus flickered harder. For a second it looked like the entire universe was deciding whether or not this counted as cheating. “...Oh, that's adorable!” The emperor grinned.

Then he looked back toward Jax. “I think your universe and I are having a disagreement.” Another censor effect materialized before Jax's mouth. A red sparks touched it. POP. Gone again. Another appeared. POP. Gone. For several seconds the circus and Gaius engaged in what appeared to be an increasingly petty magical arms race. Finally the emperor folded his arms. The censor effects continued spawning. He continued deleting them. The result was an endless stream of tiny explosions near Jax. “...I may have found a hobby.”

Jax watches the performance with his trademark grin in place, but otherwise his expression betrays nothing as he follows his wide arc around him. Talk about an ego, sheesh. This guy might actually be worse than Cain. Despite not turning his head to follow him, his ears continue to twitch, shifting to follow the sound of his footfalls-- an subconscious rabbit-like gesture he can't help, no matter how much it annoys him.

He's not crazy enough yet to believe that this guy is the real deal, but if it's entertaining to play up his God complex, Jax is more than happy to play along. In the back of his mind, the fleeting thought that if he is real, he might be the answer to their problems when it come to escaping this digital Hellscape, but he knows better than to get his hopes up. They're all just cartoons, after all.

The rabbit humors him, watching the monologuing when eyes are on him, but at one point he turns to the audience and rolls his eyes, making an exaggerated hand-flapping motion. Once he sees the little red sparks, however, he finally cuts in, grin sharpening at the edges as he leans in to the little display. "Wait, so let me get this straight. YOU'RE supposed to be the guy who coined the phrase 'stabbed in the back?'" With all the dramatics he can muster, Jax presses both of his hands against his chest above his heart, eyelashes fluttering as he falls to his knees. "Et tu, Brute? THAT's you? HAH!" It's rich, and Jax can't help his snort as he stands up, brushing off his overalls.

Maybe this guy is real, but he's never been the type to take anything seriously. Why start now? "All those busts, and I never realized how much of a twink you are. The More You Know, I guess."

The emperor paced in a loose circle again, visibly energized now instead of merely curious. “And for the record.” He added, pointing a finger at Jax. “That was Gaius Julius Caesar. Different Gaius. Different stabbing. Romans reused names constantly.”

A beat passed before the twink comment visibly caught up to him. Gaius stopped walking. Slowly turned. “…Twink?” His expression transformed into exaggerated offense. “Rabbit, I will have you know I commanded legions.” Tiny red sparks snapped through the air around him like embers. “I have personally executed traitors.” More sparks. “I once declared war on Neptune!” A pause. “…That one was admittedly symbolic.”

Then his mouth twitched upward again. “And besides.” Gaius continued smoothly, stepping closer. “You say that like it contradicts anything.” He looked entirely too pleased with himself.

At the mention of hell, though, something else entered his expression. The amusement remained, but his eyes flicked briefly around the circus again. The grin on his face softened. “Hm.” The red sparks faded. “You joke about it.” He said lightly. “But prisons built from entertainment are still prisons.” For the first time since arriving, his voice lost some of it's theatrical flourish.

His disinterested gaze sharpens at the sudden bout of laughter, pupils shrinking in his annoyance. Idly, and completely unrelated to what's happening here, Jax wonders if Caine wised up, and took back the gun he stashed in the pocket of his overalls his pocket dimension from that in-house gun adventure Now THAT was fun.

Realizing that this reaction is exactly the kind the chump is going for, Jax forces his expression back into something neutral, his arms unfolding so he can plant a gloved fist against his hip. "Don't remember ever telling you my name to give you that option." He replies, holding his other hand up as if he's studying his nails, which is impossible through the glove, but who cares? He's a cartoon rabbit.

At the question, though, his smile sharpened. “Who am I?” For a brief moment, the circus lights dimmed again. Just enough for the atmosphere to twitch. Then Gaius spread his arms grandly. “I am Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus.” He paused. “Though most people call me just Gaius.” Another pause. “And most mortals know me as Caligula, which is rude. It's not my real name. It's just a childhood nickname.”

He looked genuinely pleased with himself. “I’m an Emperor, technically dead, currently immortal, occasionally employed as one of Guardians of Harmony, multiuniverse, metaphysical worlds and so on. I have a lot titles.”

Jax folds his arms across his chest, brows furrowed as he watches the guy walk right up to him like he owns the place. “That’s one opinion.” Caine has really been going all out lately, it seems. He’d almost say he’s impressed, but-- you give the set of teeth an inch and he takes a mile and Jax just doesn’t want to deal with it.

An unimpressed gaze follows, flickering briefly towards the ceiling at the unexpected glitch, and then back again just in time for the last remark. “Yeah, I don’t care about . . . any of that." Jax replies, willfully ignoring the remark about him being adorable. He's NOT adorable, he's never been adorable, thank you. If anything, his ears and tail are the PINNACLE of masculinity, like he's told an adorable little jester in the past.

The emperor wandered past him as though they had known each other for years already, inspecting the circus set with open curiosity. His fingers brushed against a painted wall and the surface rippled unnaturally beneath his touch, the code struggling to interpret his magic. “Hm. Fragile construction.” He sounded impressed rather than judgmental.

Then, he looked at Jax again. “As for adventures?” He shrugged. “I wasn't planning one. I merely entered because your universe caught my attention while I was walking through The Internet.”

Mortals, huh? "Oh great, another self aware NPC." He says by way of greeting, wide yellow eyes rolling skyward in obvious annoyance.

His ring glimmered as strange magic shimmered faintly around him, briefly distorting the digital air. The circus itself seemed to react nervously: lights flickering for half a second. Gaius noticed. “Oh? Interesting. This tiny universe can actually feel me.”

@greatgaiusjuliuscaesar asked: “Oh, has my favorite Incan hottie really returned? I thought I was going to die of boredom without you.” (Helloooooo!!!! I'm so happy to see you again!)

@greatgaiusjuliuscaesar informed: “Tell me, did Kuzco by any chance leave his golden comb with you?”

"Gaius... pretty boy... if you see Kuzco, tell him to stop brushing his hair in my room." She says and takes Kuzco's golden comb out of her pocket and hands it to the Emperor. "Was he whining that he had lost it?"

He twirls the comb once in his hand, before slipping it into his sash. “I’ll return it to him. He’ll probably accuse me of plotting to keep it for myself.” Then he adds playfully. “Between us, though? He’s not entirely wrong.”

His laughter fades into a playful smirk, and just as he’s about to say more, he suddenly pauses. His nose twitches ever so slightly, green eyes narrowing in curiosity.

@greatgaiusjuliuscaesar asked: "Do you know what the best sandwich is? The filling of this sandwich consists of one little Incan emperor, the first piece of bread is the emperor's favorite advisor, and the second piece is his favorite emperor friend."

" . . . Now THAT'S a sandwich I could really get behind.

@greatgaiusjuliuscaesar asked: "Do you know what the best sandwich is? The filling of this sandwich consists of one little Incan emperor, the first piece of bread is the emperor's favorite advisor, and the second piece is his favorite emperor friend."

" . . . Now THAT'S a sandwich I could really get behind.