Voice of the Heart

           Hyukjae hears those distant clacks against his wooden floors getting louder and louder and he already has a feeling as to who it is. Choco comes barreling into his room with her tongue flapping out and her fur bouncing everywhere as she barks at him from her spot near the door, too afraid to come closer since all his things were still scattered on the floor. He keeps a sharp eye on her while emptying his drawers, snapping at her when she dared to move one paw into the litter of razor blades, packets of white and various other glass objects. “Back, shoo!" He says, flinging his arm and making it throb. With another recoil from his actions, he pulls away until he steps over the mess; Choco follows him.             "I need to get rid of everything," he annouces to no one in particular, not really caring if Jongwoon could hear him or not. After all, he really did. No more of this alcohol, no more getting high, no more chances— no more risks, no more! 

Jongwoon stands to his feet when he hears Choco barking, walking quickly towards where he heard it coming from. His eyes are met with a mess of various objects that make him rather sick feeling, and he watches Hyukjae as he walks around like a mad man, muttering to himself and he doesn't really know what to do at this point. Scooping Choco up into his arms carefully so she wouldn't cut her small feet on the razors, he looks at the mess, taking it all in with a deep sharp inhale of breath and then watches Hyukjae as he walks past them. He's certain there is nothing he can do at this point; this was honestly something the other man had to do for himself, but he would be there for him through the whole thing. And so he follows Hyukjae, setting Choco down on the floor out of harms way. 

          Hyukjae hopes to god— or some form of entity that would somehow hear his whispered pleas of help that he would be able to get through this alive. With determined huff into his sheets once more, he stands and stumbles over to his bathroom, tugging open the wooden drawers to get the syringes,  various plastic bags and bottles out. If one didn’t know better, it merely looked as if they were standard, if not high quality medical supplies. However, the blank, vague and most likely fake descriptions of the medicine on the white bottles were a dead give away that not all was what it seemed. They fall to the floor, thumping against the tile and managing not to break. Some were plastic and some were glass. Some came out as a thumps and some came out as tinks against the tile. Hyukjae was more than reluctant to do this, but he knew better.        With this small sliver of hope for himself, he manages to rid his bathroom of all the unused drugs in his cabinets. Storming out of the bathroom, he heads to the bedroom as well, tugging open even more drawers with plastic bags, and glass cases that held various razors and bongs. He curses to himself as he flings them to the ground. 

There's a knock on the door that startles Jongwoon out of his thoughts, and he stands to his feet with a slight groan, as he tugs his wallet out of his pocket. Once he pays for the food and has the door shut, he sets the takeout box on the coffee table and he frowns as the food he had been anticipating before stopped looking so appetizing. With a frustrated sigh, he boils it down to the fact that he is just stressed and he plops down on the couch again. He really should eat something, though. He rests his chin on his hand, mouth twisted a little as he thinks about the past hours and he pokes at his food with his chopsticks. What could he do help? Was him being there just enough or does he have to do more? Not that he's complaining but he just wanted to have some sort of insight about this. He had never been in this type of situation before, and he realizes just how lost he's getting in his thoughts. With a shrug of his shoulders, he slumps down in the seat, frowning deeply. He drops the container of food back on the coffee table, careful not to get it all over the place and he squints his eyes a little, hearing some commotion coming from Hyukjae's room.

          Hyukjae just nods and watches the man venture off somewhere were he wasn’t really seen before slinking off to his bedroom himself. He had to admit, he was a little more than lost at the moment, wondering what he would do about Jongwoon being in the house. He didn’t mind himself, however, his uncontrolled habits did. Plopping onto the bed, he falls face down and sighs into the messy, bundled sheets, feeling the space around his face getting warmer because of it all. What the hell was he supposed to do as of now? Submit himself into some kind of rehab and fix himself? Its not like he’s never thought of it before, but he knew that being there could risk his identity, but he also knew that he couldn’t keep this act up any longer. Kkangpae or not, he was killing himself slowly and painfully.             Before, he may have well just brushed, even kicked the subject away from his mind with practiced, controlled ease but with Jongwoon in the picture, the image was starting to distort and become anew. As of now, he couldn’t tell if this was a good or bad thing. In fact, he was scared of it all— all this unknown. He rolls over on the bed and sighs loudly, staring at the ceiling fan with unhappy eyes. The fist thing he had to do was probably get rid of his stash that was concealed away in various parts of his house.

After he orders his food, he places his phone back on the table and slumps down in his seat, leaning his head back. Jongwoon was mentally and physically exhausted, and it was becoming more apparent the more relaxed he became, but he shakes it off as he stands to his feet. He walks to the living room and falls onto the couch, throwing his arm over his eyes.  The images from what he had walked in on were still fresh in his mind and it made him flinch that he couldn't seem to shake them off. He had waited for Hyukjae for way too long, despite how they ended things; even though he had tried to move on, it had failed and terribly, because he still had just a sliver of hope that Hyukjae would come find him. And that's how he ended up here...He got impatient and a burst of courage had brought him here. He just wants to help him now.

           Hyukjae takes note of Jongwoon’s softened expression, a little put off knowing that he’d been thinking about him as much as he did. Not that it was bad thing or anyting— but It’s been more thenjust a little while… How he hadn’t lost hope, Hyukjae would never know. Or maybe, he did? Something told him they would have to delve into a deeper conversation about this another time though and nods a bit before looking back to the fridge, not breathing from his nose instead so none of the fumes would get to him. Hyukjae flinches at the sound of take out and shakes his head. “Uh.. You can order if for yourself. But not me. I cant really… Stomach food that well anymore. I dont eat much another either."

Jongwoon looks at Hyukjae, nodding at his words, although he's frowning a bit. The current state of the other man wasn't anything to not be concerned about; he had been much more muscular the last time they had seen each other. But he figures just forcing food on him right away isn't the way to go, so he leans in, kissing Hyukjae's cheek gently, just because. He walks to the dining room table where he had left his phone earlier and pulls out a chair, plopping down. His stomach is growling at him even more and he grumbles quietly. "Stop it with the growling, I'm feeding you."

           "Honestly, she’ll warm up to you in no time. Give her a while to get used to you and give her space too, and then stuff her with treats." He snorts, giving Jongwoon advice that’ll pretty much win any fellow dog’s heart. “It surprised me because she actually doesn’t like females the most, not males. You know that? Something about girls ticks her off. My sister and my mom are fine because they’ve known her since she was a puppy, though shes not too happy about my sister. She’s a weird dog." He states with finality as she watches her skip out of the room. “Anyway, dont worry about it. My home is your home. After all, you still had my key all this time yeah?"             Hyukjae ventures off almost abruptly when he hears Jongwoon’s stomach growl in protest, opening the fridge door and nearly wincing at the weird smells that came out of it. It was an understatement to say that he hadn’t been taking care of himself. He barely fed himself these days as well. “Uh… I would have offered to cook you something. But i think pretty much everything in here has gone bad."

"Ah, maybe she thinks I'm a girl." Jongwoon chuckles softly. He watches Choco leave as well, then he turns to Hyukjae. "Thank you..Your key has been on my key chain all this time." He smiles a little, remembering how many times he had looked at the key and how tempted he had been to just go to the apartment and walk in like he had done before. He had been too nervous to do it, however. But now, he's glad he had gotten up the courage to finally do it. The smell radiating from the fridge makes him recoil slightly and he covers his nose with a small hand, making his way to the other man, peeking into the place where the offending smell was coming from. "Aish...That's okay." He says softly. "I can order something...and maybe clean that out." His face twists into one of distaste and he takes a few steps back.

           "I don’t think so," Hyukjae says with a small smile when Choco calms down enough to where she could turn her head away from the person she’s met not long ago and sets her head gently over his wrist of the arm he was holding her with. He could feel the hard bump of her throat and the way her pulse fluttered against his arm. “I think she’s worried that i’m hurt. Trust me when i say shes not like this usually, and i think i found the reason. Choco probably thinks you did this to me." He kisses her head and sets her down again, watching as she sniffs the floor questioningly before sticking to his leg.             With a smile, he reaches out his hand and brings Jongwoon close to him, pressing their lips together in a small kiss and breaks apart before Jongwoon could really do anything. “See? Jongwoon is good, not bad." He says while looking down at her. She hasn’t moved, but she doesn’t look too convinced. “Whatever," he snorts, “Are you hungry? What have you done since I was passed out anyway?"

The kiss makes Jongwoon's head spin but it's over before he can react. Choco's gaze on him makes him chuckle, despite the fact that she looks like she wants to rip his throat out. "Ah, she's protecting her owner." He says, understanding immediately. He leans down a bit to speak to her, even though she turns her head away from him. "You're a good girl, Choco." He straightens up, and looks at Hyukjae.  "I cleaned up the apartment a little bit, I hope you don't mind," he says, smiling sheepishly. For some reason, he's concerned about overstepping his boundaries at the moment. Probably due to the fact that they haven't seen each other for so long before this. "I'm not very hungry..." Almost as if on cue, his stomach grumbles as if trying to prove him on and it makes his cheeks flush. "Okay maybe I am."

            “Nah, nah," Hyukjae says while shaking his head, “Please stop worrying about me. I uh… I know its hard to do so though— after all that i put you through. I’m still here. Alive. Not well i guess, but alive for the most part." He sets Choco down and pats her butt, telling her to get out of the kitchen room and go play somewhere until he’s done with his business with Jongwoon. She doesn’t budge though and instead growls when he pats her again. “What is this?" He says aloud and picks her up, taking note of how she shut up again. Hyukjae walks closer to Jongwoon and she starts growling again and he laughs a bit this time. “Are you kidding me? You don’t like him?"             He gestures to Jongwoon again and she yips aggressively for the first time and Hyukjae is more that surprised  “Oh my god, Choco! What the hell— you love everyone! Why don’t you like Jongwoon?"

Jongwoon is about to reply to Hyukjae's statement but Choco's growling throws him off guard, even though he already got the hint that Choco wasn't fond him at all. He takes a few steps back, his eyes comically huge as he watches the dog growl at him. "Choco! I fed you and everything. Why are you being like that?" He frowns at the dog, his bottom lip coming out in a slight pout that the man would deny later. A small hand reaches forward to pet the angry dog very gently and he immediately realizes this is a stupid move when the dog growls louder and yips at him.  He hops a little away, standing by the doorway. "Okay so your dog hates me..." He says lowly, as he brushes his bangs out of his eyes, giving Choco a skeptical look. 

          Her yips and barks are the first things that come filtering into his ears and he suddenly realizes that she didn’t come greet him after waking up, which was quite unusual since she always did so. Whether it was in the morning, him coming home or even a nap. Most of the time, she would even join him. Choco comes barreling into the kitchen and her claws make her slide against the beige tile until she stumbles onto his feet, continuing to bark madly until he hushes her softly and picks her up with gentle hands since his arms were still bandaged. Well done too, he notes when he realized the white strips of fabric were still intact after he rolled around and about in his sleep.          Jongwoon is now the next thing that comes into view and he breaths a sight of relief, refraining himself because he almost asked Choco where he went— because, of course, she always somehow understood what he wanted after all. She may be a bratty princess, but hell, she was a smart one. “Hey… Yeah, i am. Sorry… I just kinda passed out on you twice."

He watches as the dog and her owner interact with a soft smile, before he steps forward, checking the bandages he had so carefully placed on Hyukjae's arms. "Don't apologize.." he says quietly, thankful that the white strips haven't budged. "You needed to sleep." To say he's relieved Hyukjae is awake right now is an understatement; he had been extremely concerned about the other man since he fell asleep, and maybe he had a right to be. Who knows if what ever it was that he had done was still in his system and what it would do to him? He just hopes none of this would happen again.  "Do you want anything? Are you hungry?" Sometimes he thinks he needs to not ask questions, but taking care of the man he cares so deeply for is something that just must come natural to Jongwoon, even if he sometimes sounds like an overbearing mother (not that he means to), especially right now, with nothing but worry coursing through him. He wonders if Hyukjae even slept well, despite him staying put by him like he promised and being right there.

ooc; wow omg typos and mistakes everywhere today

ooc; its okay because ilu ewe

ooc; ewe ilu too bby 

ooc; wow omg typos and mistakes everywhere today

ooc; its okay because ilu ewe

ooc; ewe ilu too bby 

          Hyukjae moans softly as he shifts on the couch, the lather making his body sweaty and hot and he hates the feeling already. He sits up quickly, wiping his cold, wet forehead and decides to get up and take a few swigs of water from the kitchen he managed to stumble into. The kkangpae curses to himself and nearly dunks his head into the sink and turns onto the water, yelping when the cold liquid comes tumbling down from the head of the sink and onto the sensitive back of his nap. “Shit," He curses again, eyes closed and squeezed tight before shaking wildly and turns off the water. Just how long had he been asleep?

Jongwoon frowns at the princess of a dog he is currently trying to get to walk. His two dogs were much easier to walk than Choco and the fluffy dog's diva demeanor annoys Jongwoon to no end, but he tries to be patient as he tugs on the leash gently. "Choco," he whines softly as he lightly pushes the dog forward with his foot, which only makes the small animal growl at him in frustration. "We haven't even left the sidewalk," he states, trying to reason with her, but to no avail. She merely tugs him back to the front of the apartment, and he, unhappily, complies. He had been watching Hyukjae closely since the man had gone to sleep quite a few hours prior, and Choco had barked at him that she had to go out. Now he feels as if he had left his post for no reason. As soon as he opens the door and he gets her leash off, she darts to the living room and he just grunts, hanging the leash up on a hook. He makes his way into the kitchen and he's greeted with a rather wet, but flushed Hyukjae and his face immediately breaks into a relieved smile. "You're awake.." 

via dolliecrave