Gray

A couple weeks had passed since that first rehearsal with Josh and his brothers. Many nights of laughs and music filled my nights, and eventually I was able to get Cora to come along with me. This night in particular was very exciting for the both of us. Tonight we’d get to see the boys play live for the first time. The day had been filled with helping the boys pack everything into the van for the drive out to Saginaw. 

 “I can’t believe we’re groupies for a band.” Cora huffs out as we both struggle to push Sam’s keyboard case into the back of the small white van. 

 “We aren't groupies,” I wheeze out, giving one final push to the case as it slides into the van. “We’re just friends helping out.” 

 She smirks, leaning her body against the open door behind her, “I think one of us is a little bit more than a friend.” Rolling my eyes, I give her a small shove. I knew she wasn't wrong but it was still weird to say that Josh and I were anything other than friends. I mean yeah, we would go out and we spent a lot of time together, but we’ve never officially put a label on things. And I’m comfortable with what we are now, so why change anything? I mean, it was weird. I wouldn't say no to being Josh’s girlfriend, but if he wasn’t ready to ask, I wasn't going to push him. 

 “It’s not like I’m the only one here with some feelings.” I say, flashing my eyes between Cora and Jake, who had started walking up the driveway with one of his guitar cases. Cora’s face drained of color as she turns around quickly to see if he was close enough to hear.  

 “Shut it Sage.” I laugh and start walking back towards the house, raising my hands up in surrender. 

 “I didn’t say anything.” It was honestly adorable to see Cora get flustered over a boy. Normally she had all the confidence in the world, but with Jake it was different. Maybe it was the amount of confidence he also exuded that made her shy. Or maybe there was just something a little more special to him than any other guy. Cora and Jake had been getting really friendly over the last few weeks of spending time at the Kiszka residence. Even though they weren't as obvious with their feelings as Josh and I were, I could see the brewing romance starting from the first night Cora came over with me. I could tell by the way she smiled and laughed at all of Jakes goofy impressions, and how she was suddenly interested in all of the same music as him. One night, on our ride home, I told her to cut the act and just go for it, but for once in her life, Cora was unable to speak. 

 As I made my way up-to the garage, I see Josh pointing at different things for Danny to grab before we all stuffed ourselves into the van to head to the bar. He didn’t seem to notice me walk up at first, his eyes watching carefully to make sure Danny had grabbed everything he asked him to. 

 “Anything else I can grab for you?” I say as I wrap my arm loosely around Josh’s waist. 

 His brain was busy, his eyes double checking every inch of the garage to make sure they didn't forget anything, “I think we have it all…” His arm wraps around my shoulder without thinking, an automatic movement, like we had been doing this for years. He finally takes a second to look down at me, and I can see that he's trying his best to make this night go perfectly. “Thank you so much for helping us. You really didn’t have to.” I smile up at him, tightening my grip into a hug against his body. 

 “I'd do anything to help you guys, I am your little groupie for the night.” I laugh sarcastically, thinking about how Cora’s eyes would roll if she heard me call myself a groupie, and reach up to pinch his cheek lovingly. His laugh engulfed mine as he kissed the top of my head. 

 “Well if that’s the case, maybe there is a few more things I could get help with.” Josh’s hand reaches down to my cheek, pulling my face closer to his. Just as his lips brush mine, a yell coming from the door into the main house makes us jump apart. 

 “EW. GROSS. STOP IT.” Sam’s long legs burst into the room, a cheeky smile splashed across his face. “Look. Sage you’re great, but I need you to stop making Josh be all gushy. I can’t stand all this romance in the air.” As Sam walks by, Josh smacks his little brother on the back of the head. Sam laughs and flashes a middle finger at Josh as he continues his walk towards the van, hopping in and climbing to the back seat where Danny was waiting for him. 

 Laughing I grab Josh’s hand and start pulling him towards the car, “I think that’s our queue, Romeo.” Keeping up with me, he tightens his grip on my hand. 

 “I think so Juliet.” 

 We make it to the side door of the van, where Cora and Jake had been practically huddling together and talking. When they see us walk up, Jake jumps into the middle row, tapping on the seat next to him, his eyes locked onto Cora’s. I give Cora a knowing look as she hops into the van, making sure to keep some space between herself and Jake. Josh waves his hand dramatically, letting me into the van before himself. Using his arm as support I clumsily climb into the open row towards the front of the van, Josh quickly sliding in behind me. 

 “Alright. Music roulette. Who’s going first?” Sammy yells from the backseat, waving his phone tauntingly in the air as he speaks. 

 “Music roulette?” I say, looking up at Josh.

 Jake laughs, “We pass around a phone and everyone picks one song. We decide if his garbage or not and if it’s good you can keep picking, if it’s bad, you’re banned from picking music for the rest of this trip.” Cora and I both laugh. The thought of the boys picking music and roasting each other on the choices made has to be great. 

 “Now who loses this game the most?” I say to Sam. 

 “Your lover boy up there definitely has the biggest losing streak out of all of us.” 

 “Hey! It’s not my fault that you guys don’t have taste!” Josh snaps back at Sam. 

 “Well I guess some of us are just not as cultured as you Joshy.” Jake says back to him, his voice oozing with sarcasm. “I think we should let our lovely guests go first Sammy, see if they have what it takes to keep up with us.” Jake quickly takes Sam’s phone from his hand and hands it over to Cora, who face looks both terrified and excited at the same time. Cora has great taste in music, but the idea of being taunted by it is enough to make either of us nervous. 

 I see her type something quickly into the phone, adding it to the queue, before handing the phone over to me. It takes me a second to decide on what song to pick, but I type it in quickly before handing the device over to Josh. He seems to have this planned out already because its only seconds before he hands the phone off to Jake. 

 “What did you pick?” Josh whispers over to me, and I grin at him with a sarcastic smile. 

 ‘Thats for me to know and for you to find out.” Josh wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into the small space that was still in between us. 

 “Alright, you have all chosen. Let’s see how this goes.” Sam dramatically presses play on the queue and the opening chords to ‘Fire Walk With Me’ by the Black Keys fills up all of the empty space in the van. I look back to see the reaction of the boys, all giving reassuring nods and smiles to the beginning of the playlist. 

 Jake leans into Cora and whispers so quietly that I’m only barely able to make out the words. “That’s my girl.” Cora giggles and flushes an even brighter pink. I give her a wink before looking back over to Josh, who’s eyes have been burning a hole into my cheek this entire time. 

 “Whatcha looking at Joshy.” I playfully say to him. 

 Josh’s face flushes a soft pink, a sweet smile appears on his lips, “I’m just really excited that you’re coming out tonight.” 

 I smile and reach over, grabbing the hand he didn't already have wrapped around me. “It’s gonna be a great night, all of you are going to be amazing. I know it.” 

 We look at each other, the music playing from the car’s radio staring to quiet down as it fades into the next song. The opening piano of John Denver’s ‘For You’ starts to play and I cant help but look away from Josh. Staring out the car window I listen to John’s tender voice swell and the lyrics fill with me emotion. It hadn't taken long for this to become Josh and I’s song. It’s cheesy, I know. But there was something about this one that makes me think of him every time I hear it. It’s only a few seconds into the song when I notice that the rest of the van had fallen silent. I look back to see everyone staring up at Josh and I, and I instantly become nervous. I knew it was slightly a risk to play something this sappy in front of all of them, but music was the best way for me to communicate my feelings to Josh. And I knew that if I played it, that he would know how I was feeling in that moment. It was like our own secret language that only he and I understood. 

 “I’m giving this one to you Sage. But it’s your only warning. The only reason you aren't booted its because anything by Mr. Denver is a classic.” Sammy says from the backseat. I see Danny shove him with his shoulder before I turn my head back towards the window. 

 Watching the fast moving trees go past. Josh’s arms pulls around my waist, him letting me lean against him as we both start to watch all of the orange trees fly by us. 

 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Cora and I sat at a table close to the stage as the boys out the finishing touches on all of their equipment. The bar was what you would expect of it. Old, dimly lit, a little sticky, but it was packed. The boys had gained a following of locals at this bar, mainly a bunch of old men who were living their rockstar dreams through the music the guys played. 

“I’m really excited for tonight.” Cora’s voice made my ears perk up, looking over at her I see her eyes aren’t looking at mine, but looking up to Jake, who was messing with some of the strings on his guitar. 

“I think you’re just excited to spend a little more time with Jake.” I tease, sipping a drink of my water as my eyes leave Cora’s face and look up at Josh. He was busy messing with one of the thousands of wires and chords they boys had connected to their amps. 

“I really like him, Sage.” Our eyes stayed glued on the Kiszka twins, both in their element. Their smiles and laughs radiating a warm and exciting energy into the crowd. 

“I know what you mean.” As soon as the words leave my lips Josh’s eyes meet mine, he blows me a kiss from his spot on the stage. I reach out and grab the invisible kiss, sticking it into my pocket. Josh’s cheeks flush pink before looking back down at the chords and plugging his mic into the one he had been searching for. 

After a few more minutes of the boys fiddling around, Josh made his way up to his microphone, his front man persona taking over his entire personality. 

“Well good evening Saginaw, we’re Greta Van Fleet. Let’s have a great night!” As soon as Josh’s words, well more like screams were finished the thunderous sound of Jake’s guitar made everyone stand on their feet. Cora and I joined the crowd in singing and dancing along to all of the classic rock songs the boys knew like the back of their hands. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Josh ran up to me as soon as the boys finished the first half of their set. Spinning me in the air as he caught me in a tight embrace. “How are you guys enjoying it? Are we doing okay?” Josh looked between Cora and I, his eyes eager and excited. 

“You guys are even better here than I’ve heard in any rehearsal.” Cora beamed at him, “I wish you had invited us sooner!” 

“Well we need to live in the now. And right now Cora, this is the now.” Jakes words came up from behind the group of us, his arm draping around Cora’s waist as he spoke. The adrenaline obviously giving Jake the boost of confidence he needed to be able to start to claim Cora as his for the night. 

We spent the few minutes they had on break talking about the past hour of music the boys had played. Cora gushing over every one of Jakes guitar solos, and Josh making fun of any little mishap that we never noticed through the whole set. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

The rest of the night flew by so quickly, that I was disappointed by the time the boys had finished packing up the van to head back to Frankenmuth. Josh and I were the first to get into the car, trying to find a little time to get to be alone. 

“Sage thank you for coming out here with us. It really means more to me than you know.” Josh pulled me close to him on the small seat we were sharing in the van. 

“Anything for you Josh.” I could feel his body relax against mine, his skin still damp with sweat. His lips found the top on my head, taking in a deep breath before he could pull away. 

The comfortable silence we sat in led me back into the thought that Cora had mentioned earlier in the day. We both cared for each other so much, but what were we? Friends? A couple? Some weird space in between? The thoughts start to consume my being, causing me to shift, unable to sit comfortably. 

“What’s wrong?” Josh’s eyes look down at me, the once excited boy looking like a lost puppy. 

“Josh… what are we?” His face shifts through several emotions, obviously deep in thought at the abruptness of my question. “I mean… we’ve been spending a lot of time together. Basically everyday. And I think its obvious that I care for you a lot and I-” Josh’s lips cut me off before I can continue my spiral. His kiss deep and passionate, his hands pulling my face close to his, making me unable to break free. 

When he finally pulls away, he keeps his forehead attached to mine. Closing his eyes and trying to take deep breaths. “Sage. What do you think we are?” His eyes remained closed and I try and reach for my words. 

“I know what I want us to be.” Unable to speak above a whisper. 

“And what his that?” 

“I want to be yours Josh.” My words come out shaking, unsure of what his response will be. 

“You are mine Sage. All mine.” 

______________________________________________________________

Taglist:

My knuckles are white as I grip the steering wheel of my car. My breathing is erratic and heavy as I stare at the front door of the house. There’s a thing about the unknown that I don’t like. Not knowing who is in the house. Not knowing if I will be liked. Even not knowing what the inside of the house looks like makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. This invitation felt so good in the moment, but now that it’s all happening, I feel like I should turn around and go home. It was so different in the solitude of my bedroom. I felt like I could be fully open with him in the comfort of my bedroom, but now the possibility of everything going wrong makes it all feel like a mistake.

 The door swings open just as I am about to put my car in reverse and all I can see is a mess of hair and two boys running full speed to the side of my car. I remember seeing them both at the clothesline the day Jake came up to get my number for Josh. I recognize Sam instantly, his smile as blinding as Josh’s only slightly smugger, if that could even be possible. The other boy, I assume to be Danny, towering over Sam but still struggling to keep up, tripping over Sam’s legs as they both sprint.

 Sam’s hand grabs the handle of my car door, yanking it open so that he’s practically in the car seat with me, “HEY THERE SAGE. WE’VE BEEN WAITING, BUT YOU WE’RE TAKING TOO LONG.” I feel my entire body freeze in shock at Sam. I could have stayed in the car frozen for hours, but Sam’s hand quickly reached out and grabbed my wrist, pulling me from the car. Danny gently shuts my car door as Sam pulls me inside towards a shocked Josh standing right by the entry way.

 I can tell by the look on his face that he was annoyed by Sam, Josh shoves him off me. With a laugh and a wink Sam and Danny both retreat from the room, “Fine we’ll leave the love birds alone. For now.” I stand for a second, looking from my car back to Josh. His face softening, trying to comfort me from the shock that Sam threw me into. After a minute I can feel my body relax, finally being able to look Josh in the eyes so that I can give him a reassuring smile. Josh leans down to give me a kiss on the cheek and as soon as his lips pull away, I laugh. Uncontrollably. I replay all of the things that happened in the last few minutes and I can’t to anything but laugh. At myself, at Sam, and at Josh. For the first time in a long time the heat in my cheeks is flushed by laughter and not fear.

 “What’s so funny over there.” Josh is still stunned, by trying his very best to not laugh along with me.

 I take a deep breath, to muster down my laughter, “I like them.” Josh smiles, an obvious amount of relief coming over him.

 “I’m surprised they didn’t scare you off.” Josh intertwines his finger into mine, pulling me closer to him.

 I smile and lean into him, “If you haven’t scared me off, I doubt your baby brother would be able to.” Josh laughs and starts pulling me towards the family room, where his brother and friend had disappeared off to. When we make it into the room, I see Sammy and Danny deep in conversation, sitting across from one another in the floor. Jake is sitting in a chair in the corner, playing with the different parts of his guitar, not noticing anything but the strings as he tunes them.

 “Hey Sage, I need you to settle an argument for us.” Sam yells across the room, tapping the floor next to him, gesturing for me to sit next to him. Looking back at Josh I pull my hand out of his tight grip and walk over to Sammy. Plopping myself down next to him.

 “So, what’s the problem.” I lean into their conversation, taking is just as seriously as they were.

 “Daniel here thinks we should cover, ‘Since I’ve Been Loving You’, but I think we should cover Going to California’.”

 “Both classic Zeppelin songs, so I can see why there’s such a debate.” A laugh coming out with the last few of my words. “But...”

 “But what?” Sammy interjects loudly, before I can finish talking.

 “But I think maybe you should do something a little more unique. More out of the box.”

 A soft laugh comes from Jake in the corner, “That’s exactly what I’ve been saying.” I turn around to look at Jake, a soft smile creeping on his lips when we make eye contact, “Now don’t get me wrong I love rock and roll, and Zeppelin is amazing, but I think it’s time we reach out and try something new.”

 “How often do you guys play originals?” My eyes pass over the boys, all of them shifting uncomfortably where they are sitting. “Do you have originals at all?”

Jake stands from his seat, all the boys following suit. “Let’s show her.”

 Jake heads towards the kitchen, Sam and Danny jumping up from their places on the floor to follow him. Josh waits from me as I clumsily get up from my spot on the floor, his hand reaching out to take mine so he could guide me to the same door as the others.

 When we make it into the tiny garage, I take in everything that fills the room. Every inch of space in the small room was filled with different instruments, speakers, and cables. Each of the boys having a designated spot in the room for themselves. I take a seat on the couch, that’s been pushed into a small corner of the room, watching as Danny fiddles around with one of his drumheads, and Sammy starts to tune his bass. My eyes move over to Josh, who is whispering something into Jake’s ear before he takes him place in the middle of the group. Josh looks over at Jake and gives him a small nod, sending Jake right into the opening chords of a song I’ve never heard before, Danny and Sam quickly falling into the groove like they’ve done this for their entire lives.

 Josh speaks, front man in him jumping out as the music plays behind him, “We call this one, ‘Black Smoke Rising.’”

 He starts to sing along with the boys, the sound filling up more of the room than the rest of the instruments combined. His voice sounds nothing like I expected. His thick midwestern accent leaving his body as the music consumes him. The sounds remind me of the classic rock I grew up listening to with my mom, but there’s more to it. Like they’ve taken their love of the genre and morphed it to something of their own. I don’t think I have heard anything this beautiful and exciting in a very long time.

 By the time the song comes to an end, I feel my body slow down. I had been dancing along to the music and not even knowing it. The room fills with silence quickly and I notice that all of them are staring at me. All with eyes searching for something, approval maybe? I don’t know how they could even question what they just showed me, it’s more amazing than anything they could have been covering at the small-town bar gigs they had been doing for years.

 “What the hell was that?” I jump up from my seat, all of them looking stressed as I make my way closer to the group. “That was amazing!” Relief and smiles all take over the boys as I make my way over to them. “You’re telling me you don’t play that live?”

 “We didn’t think I was ready yet.” Danny says to me, his smile widening as I laugh at his remark.

 “Are you kidding? I loved it! And I know that everyone else out there will too!” I feel Josh’s arms wrap around me from behind, pulling me into a hug. “Now, what’s the name?”

 “Greta Van Fleet.” Jake states, setting his guitar on the stand next to him.

 “Well Greta Van Fleet, I’m going to need to hear quite a bit more. Just so I’m certain you guys are just as great as I think you are.” Giving a wink at Jake, I pull myself away from Josh and make my way back to the couch, gesturing them to keep going. Within seconds Jake has slung his guitar back over his shoulder and they begin another song of theirs.

 I watched and listened for two hours as the boys played through all their songs, some great, some needing some work, and some causing Jake and Josh to start screaming at one another until Danny or Sam needed to come in and break up the two before they killed each other.

 All the boys were picking up their equipment when Josh made his way over to me, sitting close to me on the couch and putting his arm around my shoulders. “So Sage, what does our resident music expert think?” I blush at his compliment, but keep my eyes away from his, as I watch each of the boys pick up and talk about different things they would like to work on in the next rehearsal.

 “I think that you guys are gonna go somewhere someday.”

 Josh chuckles. “Well, we do play in Detroit sometimes, those are always pretty cool.

“More than that.” I turn my body to look into his eyes, “You guys are going to be big. I know it.” He smiles, leaving his forehead against mine, shutting his eyes. I relax into him and whisper, “Just don’t forget about me when you’re a famous rockstar.” He sighs and pulls me into his lap to that my head his rested into the crook of his neck.

 “You’re absolutely unforgettable Sage Walsh. And don’t you forget that.”

______________________________________________________________

Taglist:

The feeling of Josh’s body rustling beside me wakes me before I hear the slam of a car door outside my window. My eyes flash open and see him, his eyes shut, face peacefully relaxed as he sleeps next to me. His arm still draped around my waist keeping me close to him. I look at the clock on my bedside table behind him and see that it’s close to one thirty in the morning.

“Shit.” I whisper as I sit up quickly, softly shaking Josh to wake him up. He groans as he removes his arm from my waist, reaching behind his head and grabbing a pillow to shove into his face, hiding his eyes from the light. I pull the pillow off his face, giggling uncontrollably, when his line of sight finally reaches mine a ghost of a smile creeps across his lips.

“Hey there sleepy head,” I whisper as he starts to sit up, stretching his stiff muscles as he starts waking up the rest of his body. “I think my mom just got home.”

His head turn and he looks at the clock, “Oh shit, I should probably head out.”

Begrudgingly, I get up and head towards my bedroom door, hoping I can catch my mom before she barrels into my room. Josh follows suit, hobbling as he pulls his shoes onto his feet and grabbing his backpack, keeping close behind me as we make it to my bedroom door.

My mom’s face is inches away from mine when the separation of the door is gone. She smiles initially, but when she notices Josh, confusion and surprise replace her smile. I watch as her eyes flash between Josh and I before finally deciding to focus on him for the time being, “Oh well hello, you must be Sage’s friend.”

Josh’s typical charm turns on instantaneously, an inviting smile spreading across his lips, “Hey, I’m Josh.” His hand reaches out to shake my moms, so quickly that I could see her hesitate before placing her own hand in his.

“Well, um, nice to meet you Josh. I’m Sage’s mom.”

“It’s really nice to meet you Ms. Walsh.”

“Josh was just leaving.” I spurt out quickly, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the front door, my mother trailing behind us like a lost puppy. I give my mother a pleading look before shutting the door behind us, hoping I can save the small moment we had be given earlier in the night. I can feel Josh’s feet drag and shuffle behind me, trying to keep up with my pace as I pull him from the front stoop. Suddenly, I feel him pull against me, halting me in my place.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I turn around and look at him, his eyes slightly disappointed.

“Nothing I just… I didn’t think you guys were going to meet tonight.” I step away from him, wrapping my arms around me, in an attempt to hide the embarrassment my mother had caused.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, I assumed I would meet her eventually.” He gives me a soft smile and takes a step closer, trying to break the few feet of space there was between us. I bite my lip and look at the ground, trying to stifle the giggles of excitement that were building up in my stomach, “I had a lot of fun tonight; it was good to see a side of you no one else really gets to see.”

“I had fun too, maybe we could hang out again sometime?” A soft chuckle releases from his lips and I hear his feet against the gravel, getting closer to me. Cupping my chin, he pulls my face up so that my eyes meet his, drawing me in so that our bodies are grazing one another.

“Of course.” His eyes race from my lips back up to my eyes, pausing, before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on my cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” I give him a soft smile and nod quickly as he starts to walk towards his car.

I watch as he jumps into the front seat of his truck, turning to wink at me once before revving the engine and pulling out of my driveway.

I slam my body against the front door after running into the house. My breathing heavy as I think back on everything that happened tonight.

“So, what happened to not liking anyone here?” My mom says as she walks into the room from the kitchen, a smirk on her face. I knew she wouldn’t be angry, but I had to get him out of the house before she could wrangle him into a three-hour long conversation.

“Okay well maybe, I like someone a little bit.”

“Well, that looked like a little bit more than that” She laughs as she starts to head towards her bedroom, “I think it’s time we both head to bed, I want to hear everything tomorrow.” She looks at me one more time before closing her bedroom door, “Oh and Bug?”

“Yes mom?”

“He’s cute.”

Rolling my eyes, the laugh I release is full of sarcastic exasperation, ““Goodnight mom.”

“Nighty Night, Bug.”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

My phone rings for the fourth time before I finally roll over to take it off the charger, not even opening my eyes as I answer call, “Hello?” my voice sounds tired and groggy, fresh from a deep sleep.

“Sage, where are you?” Cora’s voice is strained and worried.

Rubbing my face, I pull the screen away from my cheek the bright light burning my eyes. 7:45 AM. I jump from my bed and run to my closet, “Shit. Shit. Shit.”

“Class starts in fifteen minutes, where are you?” I can hear the stifling of a laugh while she speaks.

I’m never late. I can’t be late. I can feel all the anxiety building up in my stomach as I throw on a pair of old bellbottoms and a ratty old Grateful Dead t-shirt.

“I’m running out the door now.” Hanging up the phone I grab my converse and run out my bedroom door, grabbing a coat and my backpack before sprinting out to my car. The entire car ride is spent in silence as I try and gain control of my situation. I’ve never been good with being late. Ever since I was little, even the idea of it makes me feel sick to my stomach. You can blame all the years of drama class for that one. The motto, ‘If you’re on time, you’re late. And if you’re late, that’s unacceptable’ stuck to me a little harder than it should have.

I make it to the drama classroom door five minutes after class has already started. Trying to calm myself I take a deep breath before opening the door, only cracking it open so I don’t disturb Mr. Sanderson as he talks.

“Well hello Miss. Sage!” Mr. Sanderson says with his usual cheery voice.

“I’m so sorry I’m late.” My voice coming out in an almost whisper.

“No need to apologize, I was just letting everyone know that you will spend this class period you will be working individually on your Shakespeare projects! So please, take your seat.” He raises his hand, gesturing towards my seat.

I sit down and take a deep breath, still shaking from the stress of being late. “Hey there sleepy head.” I jump, looking over at the voice next to me. Josh is sitting in Cora’s regular seat again, two coffee cups on his desk instead of a notebook. When he looks up at me from the front of the class, his relaxed smile shifts into a playful grin, “I thought I was the one who always showed up fashionably late?”

“Well, maybe if someone didn’t keep me up all night, I would have been on time. And a little more fashionable” I gesture towards my old clothes, obviously bought and put together from the many thrift stores I have visited in my short eighteen years.

He chuckles and hands me one of the coffee cups, “Well hopefully this helps, I know I needed it. And stop it. I don’t accept any self-deprecating talk; you look beautiful, as always.” Taking a sip from his cup before reaching into his bag to grab his notebook. “Before we get to work, I was going to ask if you wanted to come over after school today? My band has rehearsal and I wanted you to come and watch?”

I can feel the heat in my face from everything Josh just spewed at me. I watch as his gaze watched over me, waiting for an answer, but I can feel myself hesitate with an answer. I didn’t think that he would ask that so soon after our conversation.  “Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun, I would love to.” I finally stammer out.

“Awesome.” My mind races at everything he has said in the past few minutes. He think’s I’m beautiful? Even Jude never called me beautiful… well he did. Whenever he did something wrong or was hoping to get laid. But never just because he felt that way.

We work together on different sections of the project; and I try to keep focused but my mind is completely consumed by him. His voice and the way he talks so passionately about different aspects of the play. The way his hair falls gently against his shoulders, the messy waves that make him look effortlessly handsome. The timbre of his laugh, and how his whole body moves with it, engulfing the sounds around him within it. Knowing that there is something special between us, and it’s not just something I thought was made up in my head.

About five minutes before class ends, Mr. Sanderson is back up at the front of the classroom, “Before we all go, I just wanted to tell you that I am so proud of every single one of you that came and auditioned for Romeo and Juliet this last week. I will have the cast list posted on the wall outside of the room once class is over. Please make sure to initial your name next to your role, confirming your part! Rehearsals will begin on Friday, after school!”

The cast list. How did I forget that the cast list would be posted? I can feel the anxiety that Josh had so effortlessly removed from me build up again. I try and steady my breathing again, to no avail. The heat in my cheek’s spreads down my neck and across my cheats, causing red splotches to start to splatter across my pale skin. Cast posting have always been a hard one for me. I know everything will be fine, and I will be happy with whatever role I am assigned, but there’s something about knowing how everyone feels in this moment that hurts, and honestly scares me. You’re either excited, or you’re disappointed. There’s really no in between in this world. Knowing someone else could be hurt by one small decision, makes things like this so much harder.

I start to tremble as I feel Josh packing up his things next to me, in an attempt of normalcy, I mimic his movements, not looking at him and keeping my head down. As he stands, he reaches his hand over and places it on my shoulder giving it a squeeze before letting it rest gently in place, not needing any words to let me know that he’s here for me. I look up at him, and I can feel the tears staring to well up, burning my eyes with their tiny droplets.

“It’s going to be fine.” He whispers, the slightest smile resting on his lips. I nod and stand up slowly, grabbing my bag from the ground as I do.

Cora runs up from her desk, wrapping one arm around my neck and pulling me with her, “Hey there starshine, you ready to kick ass as Juliet.” I roll my eyes and pull away from her, putting myself closer to Josh, who is still standing behind me.

“We haven’t even seen the cast list yet Cora,” I laugh, turning to look at Josh to make sure he’s still with us as we start to walk out of the classroom. He smiles and nods at me reassuringly as we walk towards the bulletin board outside of the classroom.

I let Cora run ahead of me, her excitement for this being a little too overwhelming for me right now. Cora jumps and lets out a little shriek as she grabs a pen and initials next to her name, before running back over to me and swallowing me in a tight embrace. “I got the Nurse!” I laugh and return her hug with the same vigor she gave me.

“Exactly who you wanted, per usual.” She pulls away and I give her a quick wink before she runs to Preston to give him the good news.

Looking over at Josh, I smile, trying to avoid the anxiety that was already building up from within. Grabbing my hand he pulls me to the board, making sure that we look and see who we both got together. I search for his name first, more anxious to see which part he had gotten, rather than seeing if I even got one. It’s not long before I see his name printed next to the part of Romeo, of course. I look over at him to congratulate him, but he’s already close to the board, writing his initials first and then scrawling more next to another part.

I take a step closer to see that he’s writing my initials next to my part, I can feel a lump in the back of my throat as I finally realize who I had been cast as.

Lacing his fingers into mine he looks down at me and smiles, “Looks like you get to be my Juliet.”

______________________________________________________________

Taglist:

The door slams behind me as I run inside the house. I have about an hour before Josh gets here and I need everything to be perfect. I walk into my room and take in the huge mess I’ve made over the last week. I’ve never been the tidiest person, but the emotions over the last week made even thinking about picking all of this up impossible. With a heavy sigh, I get to work, scooping up all the discarded clothes and tossing them into the laundry hamper, and throwing all my shoes into the bottom of the closet. After shoving my closet door shut, I start to make my bed. The only person who's ever even been in my room, other than my mom, is Cora and she couldn't care less whether it's messy or not, so I don’t normally take the time to clean it up.

I have been stressing about Josh coming over ever since he dropped me off at my class after our lunch together.

Telling Cora went exactly how you’d expect.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

“I knew you liked him” She smirked as she leaned against the locker next to mine. Her words make my hands start to shake, thus making me fumble with my textbooks as I try to shove them into my locker.

“I never said I did. He’s coming over so we can watch Midsummer. That’s it.” The last of my books falls to the floor as I speak. Without making any more eye contact with her I reach down and pick it up, practically throwing it into my locker and slamming the door shut. She rolls her eyes at me once I turn to look at her again.

“So, you’re just casually having a cute boy come over, while your mom isn’t home, just to watch your favorite play together?” The sarcasm in her voice oozed like honey from her lips, but I couldn’t really describe it better than she did.

“Yes. And there’s nothing more to it.” I sling my backpack over my shoulder and wrap my arms around tightly over my chest. The nerves starting to take over my entire body. Maybe I had jumped too quickly to have him come over for the project, I mean I really don’t know him that well. One drive home and one lunch together didn’t change that we were practically strangers. I contemplated canceling altogether. I know that he was just coming over to work together, but I can’t help but feel like maybe I wanted more to come from it. I don’t want to put Josh in a

position where he feels like he is obligated to have feelings for me.

“You better not cancel on him, Sage.” It was like she had read my mind. “That boy is so into you, and you’re obviously into him, so why not make something happen?”

I groan and quicken my stride as we make our way towards the auditorium, “I’m not going to cancel, only because we need to work on the project. But Cora, c’mon, there is no way he’s into me. I’ll give it to you, he is cute. But just look at our personalities, we couldn’t be any more different.”

“And opposites always attract,” Cora says smugly, quickening her pace to match my own.

I roll my eyes and shove my way into the auditorium, our conversation ending abruptly as we both walk into Josh, who is standing right inside the entrance talking to Preston.

Josh turns and his face lightens up when his eyes meet mine, “Oh hey Sage, hey Cora.”

“Hey Josh, I hope you and Sage have fun on your little play date tonight,” Cora smirks and grabs Preston’s arm, dragging him towards the exit. Once she’s out of Josh’s sight she turns back to me and mouths the words, “Tell me everything.” I stick my tongue out at her, knowing that I can’t say anything, or Josh will know that Cora is expecting a full report once he leaves for the night.

I watch Cora leave the building before looking back at Josh. Our eyes meet again, and I’m surprised to see that his cheeks match the bright red curtains hanging on the stage, “I uh... I’m sorry about her. She’s just teasing. She knows this isn’t a date.” The words come out of my mouth quickly, and almost sloppily. Trying to make sure that Josh knows that I didn’t tell her this was a date.

Josh nervously laughs and runs his hand through his hair, just like he did at lunch earlier this afternoon. This motion is becoming all too familiar to me at this point.

We stare at each other in silence for what felt like hours before he finally spoke up, “So, I’ll be there at five?”

“Yes! I’ll see you then!” I stalk down the aisle without saying goodbye, too embarrassed from our interaction to even think about it.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

I finish cleaning up my room with ten minutes to spare, sitting on my bed trying to catch my breath from how quickly I had been moving around. Looking around I take in everything, suddenly becoming self-conscious about every little aspect of my room. I didn’t want him to think I was crazy with my wall of vinyl and books that were organized by artists and authors. Or by the posters of musicians from before we were even born that were plastered on every inch of bare space. I know he had good taste in music so far… but that doesn’t mean that my interest in it could seem anything less than obsessed. I decide to turn on the dim Christmas lights I had strung across my ceiling and the several salt lamps I had scattered around the room. Hoping this would at least make the room seem a little more comfortable.

I put on my favorite and very well-used, Sun Giant vinyl, trying to calm my nerves with the soothing sounds of Robin Pecknold’s voice. Before I can even get a chance to hear a few seconds of the song, the ding from the doorbell rang throughout the house.

Once I make it to the front door I freeze in place, my hand hovering over the small golden knob in front of me. It was too late to cancel now, what was I waiting for? I have nothing to be nervous about. It’s only Josh. My classmate Josh. My friend, Josh. I take a deep breath before yanking the front door open. I can hear myself audibly gasp when I finally see his face again. Standing there, his backpack slung over one shoulder. A look of surprise splashed across his cheeks; I must have scared him with how quickly I pulled the door open.

“Hey.” My words come out at a whisper, my nerves keeping any other words from escaping my throat.

“Hey.” His face softens into a smile, exposing all his perfect teeth, his cheeks rosy from the cold.

I stand there staring at him for a few seconds, unable to speak, but then I remember that I have him standing in the freezing cold on my front porch. “Come on in,” I widen the door enough so he can slide past me, his eyes wandering as he looks at all the knickknacks and decorations that filled our home nearly to the brim. My eyes follow his as he looks intently at all the furniture my mom and I have collected over the years, it’s almost as if he’s taking photos with his eyes. Memorizing each piece as he slowly takes it all in.

Our hodgepodge of furniture is far from what you’d see in most houses. Everything was either a from a flea market or an estate sale. We love the character that comes from things that were loved by someone before us, and we like to think of all the memories and stories that could be held within something. Everything put together is eclectic, to say the least, but it's home. Being able to bring all of this up from Texas made settling in here much easier than I thought it would be.

His eyes travel from the different paintings on the walls to the upright piano we had tucked into the corner by the fireplace. His eyes light up at the sight of it and he quickly turns around to face me, “Do you play?” Pointing his thumb at the piano without turning back to look at it.

“Oh yeah, a little. I took lessons when I was a kid, but I haven’t played in a while.” His hand reaches for mine and he pulls me towards the piano, pulling the seat out when we get closer to it.

“Play me a little tune.” He leans his body against the side of the piano, resting his hand on his cheek, obviously, he wouldn’t be taking a no for an answer.

“Well then, I hope you like very poor renditions of the Beatles,” I say, and I sit down on the bench, stretching out my arms and fingers dramatically before I lay my fingers onto the keys. I slowly being playing the opening to Let It Be, having to concentrate heavily on making sure I didn’t play any wrong notes.

“When I find myself in times of trouble…” Josh whisper sings the lyrics to the song, almost so quietly that if I wasn’t trying to hear him, I wouldn’t have. Even though his voice was quiet, it was hypnotizing. I was entranced by each inflection added to the lyrics to the song, his voice was unique, like something from a different time, one of the most beautiful sounds I had ever heard, and I never wanted it to stop.

As I played the last few notes of the song, he joined me on the bench our legs brushing against one another. The same spark I had felt when his hand touched my arm this morning ran through my body, causing me to mess up right at the end of the song.

Josh smiled and applauded as I quickly pulled my fingers away from the keys, “I don’t know how you could ever call that a poor rendition, that was amazing!” His words made me blush and I focused my eyes on the keys, trying to keep the redness from being too noticeable.

“Do you play at all?” I look up at him through my eyelashes, to keep him from seeing the flush across my cheeks.

“A little, but nowhere near as well as Sam plays.” He leans in closer and whispers, “Don’t tell him I told you that, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Sam?” I rake my brain with all the people I have seen at school, but no one with that name rang a bell.

“Oh, I guess you haven’t gotten a chance to meet him yet. Sam’s my younger brother, he plays the bass and keys for our band.”

My ears perk up, “I didn’t know you were in a band? That’s so cool!”

Josh’s enthusiasm spills from him, his voice becoming louder and louder as he speaks, “Oh yeah! It’s me, my brother Jake, Sam, and our friend Danny. We’ve been playing around for a couple of years now.”

“Oh wow! What do you play?” I can feel my body leaning in closer to him, but I’m unable to pull away. Almost as if he has his own gravitational pull, drawing me in closer to him.

“I play the vocals.” He gives me a smug look and I can’t help but burst into laughter.

“That’s an interesting way to put it, but it suits you.” He laughs back at my response, “I’d love to come see y’all play sometime.” The words come flying out of my mouth before I can even think, the excitement of learning something new about him was enthralling. Knowing we had a little bit more in common than I thought made me want to learn even more about him.

“Absolutely! We always need more groupies.” He winks at me and my heart soars, making me unable to speak. Our eyes meet in this moment of silence and all I can do is just take in how beautiful they are. The flecks of gold speckled across the deep shades of brown. My thoughts flash back to the first time I was alone with Jude, the feelings I felt when I thought we would be together forever. This thought makes me jump back from Josh, pulling away so that my body wasn’t touching him at all.

Josh’s face falls, and I start to stand up. Not wanting him to get a chance to make any sort of comment. He isn’t here to learn about my past relationships. He isn’t here for anything more than watching the film. I need to remind myself that. “Are you ready to watch the movie?”

“Oh uh.. yeah, let's do that.” Josh stands up, picking his backpack from the floor.

“Alright then, follow me.” I fake an overly cheery voice, trying to hide the discomfort I had just caused between us. He follows me down the hallway to my bedroom, and I walk over to the TV to turn it on.

Josh walks straight to my vinyl collection before I even get a chance to ask him for the DVD, “Damn Sage, you have quite a collection in here.” Josh is back to his normal happy self at the sight of my shelf of records, “And I thought my family’s collection was big.” Josh runs his fingers along the different sleeves of vinyl before pulling out an old, and very battered, copy of Disraeli Gears.

“Yeah, it’s a little hobby of mine,” I say through my laughter as I gently take the vinyl away from him and put it back in its assigned spot on the shelf.

“By the looks of it, I’d say that’s a little more than a hobby” Josh walks away from the shelf and looks around my room curiously as he takes a seat on the edge of my bed. Without taking his eyes off the walls he digs around in his bag and pulls out a DVD case.

I take the DVD from him and walk back over to my TV, inserting the disk into the player and grabbing the remote before taking a seat next to him on my bed. I look at everything I have splayed around my room, “I know it’s a…”

“It’s so cool. Jake would be so impressed with everything in here.” He says, eyes never leaving the different posters.

“I was going to say a bit much, but I guess I can take that as a compliment.” Josh nudges his shoulder against mine.

“Oh yes, a huge compliment. It’s rare you find someone our age with the same music taste that we have. It’s nice to find someone who enjoys something other than top 40s pop.” He chuckles and places his backpack down on the ground in front of him.

“Yeah, pop really isn’t my thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love all music. I think music is such a beautiful thing. The way it can portray any emotion you want, tell magical stories, or even take you on a journey. You don’t get much of that today.”

His eyes look deep in thought by the time I finish talking, “You sound just like Sammy, maybe a little less pretentious, but still…” he lets out a deep belly laugh that practically makes him fall

backward. His laughter is contagious, and I can't help but laugh with him.

“I guess I’ll have to meet my evil twin sometime.” I give him a playful wink before standing up and walking around my bed, kicking off my shoes and plopping down so that my back is against the headboard.

He gets up from his seat and looks at me, “Mind if I join you back there?” He heads over to the other side of the bed and falls dramatically next to me. I giggle as his landing nearly makes me fall off the bed, his hand grabbing my arm to prevent any potential fall, “Hey there, we already had one crash, we can’t let another one happen.” He pulls me back into my spot next to him, our bodies grazing one another as we try and fit together on the small bed.

“Okay drama queen, are you ready to start the movie or not?” I can’t hold back the laughter from the joke he makes, normally I wouldn't be able to take something like that. But with Josh, it's different. It’s like I know he’d never try and hurt me the way I have been before.

“I’ve been ready, you’re the one taking forever.” I roll my eyes and grab the remote from the table next to me, pressing play before returning it back to its place.

The opening music to the movie is soft and romantic, setting the scene perfectly for the upcoming story. I can feel Josh’s body relax into the bed next to mine, his hands reaching up and tucking behind his head and he begins to fully focus on what’s happening on the screen in front of him. However, having him next to me makes it nearly impossible to relax. I can feel myself stiffen every time his body gets closer to mine, not able to think about anything but his golden presence next to me.

Fifteen minutes into the play I know I need to do something to help me relax, or there is no way I could possibly be able to make it through the next three hours. “Hey...” I whisper, not wanting to completely take away his focus.

“Hey.” He whispers back, softly smiling but not taking his eyes away from the actors on the screen.

“Do you mind if I light some incense?” His eyebrows raise and his eyes flicker over to me and then back at the screen, the faint smile never falling. “They just kinda help me relax, it's okay if you don’t want me to.”

“Only if it's patchouli.” He whispers the words at me, his smile falling into a playful smirk.

I giggle and pull out the thin stick from the drawer in my bedside table. I light it and place it on the small wooden holder next to me. The musky scent fills the room, and I can feel my body instantly relax. I normally only pull these out when I meditate or have a very bad mental health day, but I need all the relaxation I can get now.

I move back into my spot on the bed, purposely sitting closer to Josh as I am finally able to relax into the mattress and pay attention to the play. I set my focus on the screen as the actors fly across the screen, taking in each word and each movement. I felt myself getting lost in each point of the play, mouthing the different lines as the performers spoke them aloud.

I feel Josh’s head lean close to mine, “This really is your favorite.” I nod, my eyes never wandering. His body moves as a soft chuckle falls from his lips; in that moment he shifts closer to me. The sides of our bodies fully touch. I can feel myself start to stiffen as he relaxes more against me. My arms cross over my chest, guarding myself not only from his physical touch but also from the emotions I can feel building up in the bottom of my stomach. His skin grazing my own makes it feel like thousands of sparks were flashing in between each limb. I start to try and slow my breathing, counting each second to keep myself from boiling over with nerves.

“You okay?” I look up to see Josh’s eyes looking down at mine, his face twisted into a look of concern.

“Yeah, I’m good.” My voice is shaky, not able to hide the anxiety that is rising from my stomach into my throat.

Josh’s body shifts as he reaches to put one arm gently around my shoulder, giving me a light hug before letting his harm hang loosely behind me. “Is this okay?” His words were cautious, making sure not to push me too far with his touch. I slowly nod as I feel myself start to relax into him. Something I never even experienced with Jude. The ability to relax and feel comfortable with someone I barely know. We both get lost in the film once again, our bodies softening into one another’s.

The further we get into the story, the more I can forget about the nerves that had once been controlling me. My mind only focused on the comfort and warmth from Josh, his earthy and

inviting smell, each breath he took, every small move he made, everything.

The screen fades to black as the intermission for the play begins, feeling overwhelmingly cold as Josh lifts his arm from my shoulder and stands up from his place next to me. I lean over to pause the movie and watch as he stands next to the bed and stretches his arms. Turning to look at me he gives me a sheepish grin, “Mind if I use the restroom?”

“Oh yeah, of course, it's just right down the hall. First door on the right.” He nods and heads from my room, and I instantly find myself missing his presence. Grabbing my phone to distract myself, I look and see that I have several text messages, all but one from Cora.

MOM

Hey doodlebug, it’s going to be later than I thought it would be tonight. I may not be home until after midnight. I hope you and your friend have fun tonight! You’ll need to tell me all about it tomorrow! Love you to the moon and back xoxo

My mom’s text leaves a smile on my face as I scroll through the massive amounts of texts that I have waiting for me from Cora. I decide against responding to her, giggling as I lock my screen and put my phone back down on my bed.

“Now what has you laughing over there.” Josh walks back into my room, a smirk plastered across his face.

“Just Cora being herself, ya know?” He laughs and climbs back into his place next to me on the bed, laying on his side and resting his head on his hand.

“So, I would ask you what you think of the play so far, but I think you know it better than any person on the earth.” I shuffle my body to match his own, mimicking the same position that he’s in.

“It just means a lot to me.” Looking down I start to trace the different stitches that are sewn into the old quilt on my bed.

“Tell me more.” My fingers keep following the patterns of the blanket as I think back on the first time I saw a Midsummer Nights' Dream. The excitement I felt walking through the doorways of the old theatre back in my hometown in Texas.

“Midsummer was the first professional play my mom and I went to see together when I was little. It’s her favorite too. She took me to see it for the first time when I was twelve. I had just started doing theatre at school and she wanted me to experience a classic.” My voice trailed off as the memory flooded my brain, bringing back a sense of comfort I hadn't felt in a very long time.

“And it’s been your favorite ever since?” I look up into Josh’s eyes, his presence alone making me feel like I could melt into the bed.

“Yep. Ever since.” I roll over to my back, staring up at the colorful tapestry attached to my ceiling. Josh’s movements follow mine, and I find myself scooting closer to him as he lays down beside me. We sit in a peaceful quiet for a few minutes before he turns his head to look over at me again.

“Thanks for letting me come over.”

“It's been nice.”

“Very nice indeed.” He looks back up to the intricate patterns above. His breathing starts to quicken. I feel his hand move down from his stomach so that it's lightly grazing mine. In a moment of courage, I nudge my hand closer resting two of my fingers on his. Slowly he moves again, lacing his fingers into my own. A quick gasp escapes my lips as I feel the warmth of his skin. We lay there, hands intertwined, his thumb slowly stroking my hand as we both sit in a perfect space of tranquility.

“Should we finish?” The coolness of his voice filled the empty space of my bedroom.

“Yeah, we should.” A sigh releases from my throat as his fingers pull away from mine.

Once I’m sitting up, he wraps his arm around my waist pulling me close to him. I lean my body into him, laying my head against his chest. He reaches and presses play on the remote, allowing the paused screen to light up as the actors continued their performance. I move my hand to the one he has placed on my waist, weaving my fingers into his. Locking them where they are so that he can’t move them. The sense of calm I feel is something I’ve never felt before. All forms of anxiety I thought I would feel have long left my body, and for the first time in what feels like forever I’m able to fully let myself go.

______________________________________________________________

Taglist: