An independent, canon divergent Arthur Rimbaud & Paul Verlaine from the anime, manga & light novel series Bungou Stray Dogs. Trigger heavy. Semi-selective, multiverse & multiship. NSFW friendly. Mun is 21+ with over 10 years of RP experience in multiple fandoms.
A study on: Loyalty, regret, sacrifice, friendship, humanity, love, trauma & healing, mortality, personal identity, mental instability, losing yourself & what exactly it means to be a human being.
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because you have made mistakes you cannot swallow .
mistakes come back to you like echoes in an empty cave . you have been trying since you started but does trying count ? is trying good enough ? every night it visits you , the pain that you have caused with your clumsy hands & venom-tongue . life careens onward , onward , with the moon hung in the sky & the sun the day after , but you walk backwards on this path so you can keep sight of what you did . the destruction still feels fresh . it still feels like fire , where you burned them . fire is supposed to be warm . it burned them , & it will swallow you . blow out the candle . let it rest . some things are better left behind in the dark .
@prodigls asked: āCanāt sleep?ā ( from Verlaine )
It would seem that neither of them had been able to sleep that night .
Such was not unusual for Rimbaud , ever since the explosion some years ago he spent many nights lost in thought , warming himself in his library by the glow of the fireplace . This was not one of those nights , however . He wasnāt melancholy , despite the aches that pained his body & the worries that plagued his mind . His partner was home , the twins were safe & fast asleep in their beds , everything was positively serene . Perhaps that was what troubles him ? He had learned to distrust serenity , he feared happiness being snatched away , just when he became too comfortable with it .
He wasnāt surprised when he saw Paul peek his head around the corner , though he may have more or less retired from his career as the King of Assassins , his partner still has senses & instincts as sharply tuned as ever . Even down in the basement of the manor , he likely heard Rimbaudās movements & realized his restlessness .
The raven - haired man had asked him to sit & join him , & now he was making them drinks . Arthur had never liked his coffee strong or overly bitter , & had struggled to adapt to the taste of green tea for the same reason . Admittedly , he has always had a bit of a sweet tooth . As the older former spy returns from the kitchen , Illuminations follows him in the form of a floating golden cube wrapped around a silver tray carrying two glasses ā his ability steadier then his hand these days ā & he carefully lowers them to the table .
ā Itās warm milk with cherries & fermented chamomile . ā Arthur says , to explain the strange pink hue of the beverages as he sits across from the blond , a sheepish smile on his lips . ā I started drinking it a few years ago , on the suggestion of the Port Mafiaās head nurse , it helps me sleep . Cherries are full of melatonin & chamomile has a soothing & sedative effect , the fermentation allows for quicker absorption . ā he carefully tugs off either of his gloves & wraps his hands around the warm glass immediately with a gentle sigh as the heat spread through him .
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the inability to cherish the good things that happen out of fear of them disappearing .
you've been hurt , badly , haven't you ? it's been a long time since you've felt comfortable in your own mind . everything's become a sign that you're going to be hurt again . so when something good does come along , you're not used to it . it feels foreign . it's weird & scary . you want to believe that it will work out , but you just can't . you've been burned too many times . because of this , you've become cynical . you never wanted it to be this way , but you're trying to protect yourself . i see how it's easier to not accept the good , out of fear of its inevitable end . once the dust settles , you're terrified of being alone again . but by doing this , you're never enjoying those good moments . you're letting them pass you by . you have to start letting the happiness come to you . even if it's in waves , isn't that better than not at all ?
Tagged by: N/A
Tagging: @prodigls @theircurse @memoryextrction @effigist @barxlupin ( Henry ! ) + whoever hasnāt already done it
The earliest memories that I think that I have , are of my mother screaming at me as I cry for my dad . See I never put this thing into a journal with ink , itās just a memory that has always crept up when I think . Dad was beatinā on Mama ; Mom protected my brothers , but when it came to me , my only shielding was the covers . A victim of my circumstance reminded her of Dad , I never really had a chance , to her my soul itself was bad . I donāt mean to complain , but once upon a loser , I started as a kid to who his family was an intruder . When labelled as an outcast by people who were strangers , I saw it as the usual & never sensed the danger . The truth flows in my veins , Iāll always be a loser , I thought myself insane to compensate for my abusers , & when the truth felt sour , I picked my mother flowers , I liked the quiet of alone & that way for hours .
2. MONOPHOBIA ā ACE OF HEARTS
If you had to choose between being unhappy or alone would you know which to choose ? If you woke up the next morning & you didnāt have a past , did it mean that your wish came true ? Since I had to ask you if your words are still true , donāt you think I should just know ? Lapses in your breathing while my head is ringing , heard this voice & it asked me : ā Have you ever wanted to feel anything at all ? ā
I guess we ran out of time & then next is love . Counting on the clock , itās true , feels like purgatory , ending of our story . I can still say ā I love you . ā I want to be happy & Iām sure you agree . Tell me why is it so hard ?
3. HOPE UR OKAY ā OLIVIA RODRIGO
We donāt talk much , but I just gotta say , I miss you & I hope that youāre okay . Address the letters to the holes in my butterfly wings . Nothingās forever , nothingās as good as it seems ; & when the clouds wonāt iron out , & the monsters creep into your house , & every door is hard to close . Well I hope you know how proud I am you were created , with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred . But , God , I hope youāre happier today . āCause I love you & I hope that youāre okay .
4. HIT ME ā WE SKEEM
Turns out everybody hates me , only ten & I reel in hazing , I would say this stuff donāt faze me , but I aināt crazy ! Well , not yet , maybe ? Set the stage for a brand new drama , skinny boy with a vengeful momma , all the stuff they say at church , it kinda hurt , but my mom spews worse ! So go out & get scorned , then go home & get more , my true self looks deformed , I try my best but I canāt conform ! But here's a trick to deal with little pricks ā a blow to the face only hurts a bit of you predict the hit , bitch Iām inviting it !
I aināt making friends , I know how this ends , dealer gave me tens so HIT ME HIT ME HIT ME ! You say that Iāll break , boy this moneyās fake , Iād rather give so take & hit me hit me hit me hit me ! Come on , come all to the main attraction , the little man made for your satisfaction ! Hit me once & feel the action , tear me down to patch your lacking . I'm not real , I pretend to be , nobody knows him , not even me . At ten years old trade identity for self-deprecating energy !
5. WHEN THE SUN LOVES THE MOON ā REINAEIRY
When the sun loves the moon , even the ocean feels her pull . Oh , & the stars align every night , to spell out their love in tiny bright lights . Oh , when the sun loves the moon , never touching but never far . Oh , at the break of day , a summerās ray . A moonlit night that casts away ā¦
Their love remains , their love remains . Oh , oh , oh . Oh , oh , when the sun loves the moon ā¦ Her golden light , her silver hues . A beautiful song , oh , how they long , for dawn ā¦
6. EVERYTHINGāS ALRIGHT ā LAURA SHIGIHARA
Short steps , deep breath , everything is alright . Chin up , I canāt ā¦ step into the spotlight . He said ā Iām sad ā somehow without any words . I just stood there , searching for an answer . Why do my words always lose their meaning ? What I feel , what I say , thereās such a rift between them . He said , ā I canāt really seem to read you . ā I just stood there , never know what I should do .
When this world is no more , the moon is all weāll see . Iāll ask you to fly away with me . Until the stars all fall down , they empty from the sky . But I donāt mind , if youāre with me , then everythingās alright .
7. EVERY TIME THE RAIN COMES DOWN ā ANNA BLUE
Youāre fighting a demon , your heart keeps on bleeding , youāre feeling so close to the edge . Donāt jump . Youāre losing your temper , you want to surrender , Iām talking you down from the ledge . Come take my hand . You wonāt go lonely into this fight , or you just hold me , we will survive .
All your tears are in vain , & it drives you insane . 'Cause nobody cares if you cry , but I'll be there . Deep inside , there's a riot . I feel that you're tired . You don't wanna live a lie , I'm there for you . Every time the rain comes down , when the rain comes down . Iām the one whoāll be around , the one whoāll be around . Iāll become a part of you & share your pain .
8. ARTIFICIAL ā WE SKEEM
Thinking back , everything felt right . No phone to check , just mask & morning light . Everything is looking wonderful & simplistic . Perhaps itās just a memory but it seems so realistic . Throw on a CDR I mixed for when Iām driving far , ā Hello , Goodbye ā & P.O.D. the tonal shifts donāt bother me . Iām a confused & sappy teen , an Emo kid or is it Scene ? I guess Iām somewhere in between . Depression & anxiety . Thereās no time , no rust is showing . Feeling scared but never showing , so embarrassed just by knowing , we were kids we were kids before overflowing . Looking outward , itās artificial , remember all the things that made us feel potential . Focus inward , itās superficial , weāre never going to sleep , no , we took this dismissal .
But Iām still stuck inside this ever - rotting body , excuse me while I drown myself on my ever gaudy hobbies . Throw on some music I finished just an hour ago , play it on repeat ātil the tape breaks in my stereo . I barely hear it now while fighting thoughts so cynical of all those pesky memories of trying to drown in swimming pools . Sometimes memories will tell you all was light or dark blue , neither one is true when your lifeās always been the same way . You lie to get through your day , no matter how your mood sways . Youāll pretend youāre okay , every up or down phase , but the joy youāre longing for is lost in pockets of your mental age .
9. A SHOT IN THE DARK ā WITHIN TEMPTATION
I've been left out alone like a damn criminal , I've been praying for help cause I can't take it all . I'm not done , itās not over . Now I'm fighting this war since the day of the fall , & I'm desperately holding on to it all . But I'm lost . I'm so damn lost . Oh I wish it was over , & I wish you were here . Still I'm hoping that somehow ā¦
Cause your soul is on fire . A shot in the dark . What did they aim for when they missed your heart ? I breathe underwater , it's all in my hands . What can I do ? Don't let it fall apart . A shot in the dark .
10. SMOKE SIGNALS ā CAVETOWN
I know Iām a freak , ripped the Band - Aid , broke the peace , took the lock but lost the key . Guess I set you free . I hope youāve found a place to sleep , I know youāre bound to think of me . You can come home to me when youāre ready , I left the gate unlocked for you . āTil then Iām sending out smoke signals , hoping Iāll see yours too .
When the dust has set , settled up & done our debts , nothing left to go collect . If youāre feeling spent , when itās heavy on your chest , when you think thereās nothing left . You can come home to me when youāre ready , I left the gate unlocked for you . āTil then Iām sending out smoke signals , hoping Iāll see yours too . I miss you .
because you have made mistakes you cannot swallow .
mistakes come back to you like echoes in an empty cave . you have been trying since you started but does trying count ? is trying good enough ? every night it visits you , the pain that you have caused with your clumsy hands & venom - tongue . life careens onward , onward , with the moon hung in the sky & the sun the day after , but you walk backwards on this path so you can keep sight of what you did . the destruction still feels fresh . it still feels like fire , where you burned them . fire is supposed to be warm . it burned them , and it will swallow you . blow out the candle . let it rest . some things are better left behind in the dark .
VERLAINE // @effigist said: [ HOLD ]: sender takes the receiver's hands and holds them together in order to keep them warm during a cold spell.
Rimbaud wasnāt aware of the cold front moving through Yokohama , until the temperature seemingly dropped nearly twenty degrees in the span of two hours ; a damp , frigid cold , then it hit him ā full body pain , like a hammer . Everything hurt . He gritted his teeth as he limped into the library & added more wood to the fire . Then he took some pain meds , wrapped himself in his heated blanket & tucked himself in his orthopaedic chair .
Then he just kind of ā¦ stared into the mesmerizing dance of orange flames , lost in thought . It was hard for him to muster up the energy to think or feel much of anything when these sudden , debilitating episodes occurred . He didnāt realize how much time had passed until Verlaine came looking for him .
ā ā¦ Paul . ā he croaked out the name of his partner in relief . ā Darling ā¦ my hands ā¦ thereās heat packs in the desk drawer , would you please ā ā before he could finish the question , would you please get them for me , the blond has looped around the chair to kneel in front of him , & topaz eyes blink in hazy confusion . ā Paul ā¦? ā
The assassin reaches out & plucks the gloves from his aching hands . He canāt even muster the energy to protest before Verlaine has slipped his fingers between the ravenās , folding down until his fingertips brush Arthurās knuckles , & he gasps faintly as the furnace - like heat washes over him , chasing away the phantom pains . The pain , which had felt like heād spent all morning punching boulders , seemed to dull to a barely noticeable twinge . He sees the concern in those eyes , eyes like the sun peeking out behind storm clouds , & his heart aches with fondness .
He closes his eyes & leans into the warmth that perpetually radiates from the gravity manipulator , unable to help it . ā Merci , mon amour . ā He whispers , a tremulous smile lifting the edges of his lips .
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it's november which means it's winter, so here u go! i wanted these to be kinda dramatic and intense, but i'll be making some cozier fluffier ones as time passes! DO NOT ADD OR EDIT THIS LIST! but always feel free to add [ REVERSE ] to one of the actions to reverse the roles!
[ RACE ]: sender sprints out into a blizzard to rescue a freezing and disorientated receiver.
[ BUNDLE ]: sender removes their coat to wrap it around a visibly shivering receiver.
[ WARM ]: sender vigorously rubs the receiver's arms in a bid to warm them up after being exposed to a winter storm outside.
[ SHELTER ]: sender hastily guides the receiver to a nearby shelter for them to wait out the storm together safely.
[ PREPARE ]: sender ties a length of rope around their waist and the receiver's waist in order to safely stay together as they prepare to go out into the storm.
[ BREATHE ]: sender takes the receiver's cold hands and begins to gently blow warm air over them in an effort to keep the receiver warm.
[ HOLD ]: sender takes the receiver's hands and holds them together in order to keep them warm during a cold spell.
[ EMBRACE ]: sender wraps their arms around the receiver and holds them close in an effort to conserve body heat during a snow storm.
[ AID ]: sender begins to either guide, drag, or physically carry a weakened receiver through a blizzard to safety.
[ CALL ]: having been separated from the receiver during a blizzard, the sender begins to call out their name in order to guide them back to each other and reunite safely.
[ PUSH ]: having just rescued the receiver from a blizzard, the sender insists on pushing the receiver closer to a fire to warm them up first.
[ POUR ]: sender pours the receiver a hot drink after finding shelter from a freezing snow-storm.
[ EXTRA ]: sender wraps an extra blanket around the shivering receiver after having been exposed to a blizzard outside.
[ SPARK ]: the sender builds a make-shift fire in a hurry in order to warm up a freezing receiver during a snow storm.
[ SHARE ]: the sender opens out their blanket to share it with the receiver during a snow storm, pulling them closer against them to share their body heat.
DIALOGUE PROMPTS.
" come on! we need to get you out of this cold! "
" follow my voice! keep calling my name, i can't see you in the storm! "
" oh, god, you're freezing... come on, put your arms around my neck. that's it, good job... let's get you inside. "
" i g-got lost... separated from my group... p-please, it's so cold, i'm so c-cold... "
" here, take my coat... you'll freeze to death in no time if you don't. "
" drink some tea, okay? warm yourself up from the inside. it's not my worst effort, but granted, it's not my best either. "
" hey, hey, stay with me! i know you're thinking you're tired, but you're not; you're freezing, and sleeping will not help keep you warm, okay? keep moving. come on, we're almost there... "
" you know how to light a fire without matches? all we have is a broken lighter and some sticks and stones. "
" don't be stubborn, okay? we need to share the bed, conserve our body heat. come on. if i wanted to seduce you, i've got better moves than hypothermia. "
" you didn't bring a jacket or anything?! i told you to wrap up warm, you dumbass! "
" don't be getting all mad at me, okay? i saw you in the middle of a blizzard, i ran out to rescue your idiotic butt. no time to figure out zips and buckles when i've got to be the local hero, right? "
" what the hell are you doing out here?! are you crazy?! it's negative fifty billion degrees and getting colder by the minute! come on, come with me! "
" i can't see a damn thing in this storm; keep holding on to me, okay? last thing we want is to get separated! "
