Infinity Burns Around Us

Harker sighed, her softness faltering the rest of the way as the heaviness of the situation settled down around her, but she was nodding in agreement with what Crow was saying.

“I think, between the two of us, we can work fast enough to get it done, but we’ll need to resurface sooner rather than later. I’m worried that, if we wait here too long, it’ll give us less time at the hanger, you know?”

She sighed. “Obviously, I like the first option better, but I think we’re both too realistic to seriously consider it.”

“Agreed. It’ll be clear by now, I’m sure.” I hope. That remained unspoken, but heard nonetheless.

“We probably should, yes,” Harker agreed, her softness faltering just a hint, but she didn’t pull back from Crow, her hand still tight in his.

“We know the Far Reach is onto us, now, and it’ll just be a matter of time before they track everything back to, well… Me. Once we get back home, we um… We won’t have much time to move, will we?”

“From what I’ve seen of them? ...No, we probably won’t.”

Crow’s demeanor hadn’t really turned soft again, largely because he knew they had to discuss this. There was no getting around it, particularly not now that he cared so damn much what happened to her.

He had from the beginning.

Harker let a soft smile spread against her features, her fingers tightening their grip in his, sharing that vulnerability she could see so easily in his gaze.

“I um… I don’t mind impulsiveness,” She admitted before gently biting down on her lower lip.

“…like I said, as long as we’re on the same page, it’s okay… really.”

She gave his hand another squeeze. “I care about you, Crow. In case I haven’t said that before or made it clear enough.”

He seemed taken aback by those words, and honestly Crow was. He was used to scanning it for lies, because he seemed to only get beaten down if he trusted that it was true. He only ever seemed to learn these lessons the hard way.

His lips thinned, but he closed his eyes and gave a little nod. “I appreciate it, and I care about you too.”

Harker quietly followed along as Crow replied, and after a moment she started to visibly relax, because it would seem her fears were a bit unjustified.

And, he was right. Once they got up into space, they were even and would have to rely on each other if they wanted to survive. It was a big show of trust that they were putting into one another to even contemplate it, let alone go so far as they had with acting upon it.

So, she nodded, carefully reaching out again to take his hand in hers and give it a gentle squeeze.

“So… Last night happened because we both wanted it to? That… That’s what we’re both saying here, yeah?”

Crow met her hand halfway, his fingers lacing with hers. There was nothing unsure about his gaze as he stared over at her, although there was still something vulnerable.

How was she going to explain this when she didn’t entirely understand the feeling herself? The best she could do was try, and she shifted once more in her seat so she could lean forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she clasped her hands in front of her.

“I just… I don’t want you to feel like you’re… Like you’re obligated to get physical with me. Because I broke you out a-and because I’ve taken you in and all of that.”

She sighed, lifting a hand to rake it through her hair, her eyes dropping to study a speck of lint on the floor as she pushed on.

“…I like you, Crow. I do, and I don’t want you t-to feel like you owe me something because I’m kind. That’s not what I want it to be about, is all…”

That did make some sense, now that she said it out loud. Of course he might feel a sense of debt to her, considering she’d more or less saved his life and was continuing to do so. It would also make sense why he’d feel a draw to her, isolated as he was.

But the night before proved, at least, that he wasn’t denied the outside world. She wasn’t a captor.

“I understand,” he stared in a hesitant voice, as if still looking for words as he said them, “and I know I do owe you. But that’s why I’m helping you outfit your ship, isn’t it?”

“Besides... we’ll more or less be in the same boat once we get up there, right? Out to the stars. No debt, no hiding.”

If they were going to endeavour to be honest with one another, Harker felt like it was rapidly becoming necessary that the two of them talked about the growing physicality between them, of which the previous evenings heavy makeout session was a good example.

“I think we should,” She murmured, giving him a slightly bashful smile. “I um… I enjoyed last night. A lot, but I-I want to make sure we’re on the same page about some things, you know?”

Her smile faltered for a moment. “…I want to make sure I’m not taking advantage of you.”

“I did too,” Crow breathed, the sound sort of like a sigh of relief. He wasn’t the most insecure person in the galaxy, no, but the way she’d prefaced it had him start to worry.

They’d been fairly intoxicated, after all, and it wouldn’t be the first time mistakes had been made after some booze. 

Harker gave his hand an answering squeeze, her thumb tracing one last time over his cheekbone before she pulled away and moved to curl back up into her own seat again. It wasn’t that she wanted to be away from him - far from it - but more that it was a tad hard to kneel on the metal floor for too long.

“That’s all I’m asking,” She murmured, though the soft grin she’d been sporting faded after a moment and she suddenly looked a bit bashful and hesitant.

“C-Can um… Can we talk about last night, then?”

Crow was certainly feeling more aware, the momentary stunning after he overextended himself thankfully passing quick. But he was still taken aback by the change in topic.

Last night felt like ages ago, didn’t it? Crow bit his lip, and looked back at her with his teeth around his lip again. Not embarrassed, no, but unsure how to answer.

“I’d like for us to, yeah…” She replied, giving him a gentle and encouraging smile. “…we’ve come this far, haven’t we?”

The truth that lingered between them perhaps wore a bit on her - she knew what it was she was sacrificing to protect Crow - but she couldn’t let it weigh her down entirely. Not when there was potentially so much more to gain.

“…and who said you’ve ruined all of my life, hmmm? I certainly haven’t.”

“Yes. Then... yes.”

His lips pursed and he chewed on his cheek for a moment at her last comment, then his brow furrowed in a look of utterly self-deprecating humor. It was honestly his only defense to a moment like this, vulnerable and unfortunately honest a few hundred feet under the water. “Oh. Well. At least there’s still some bits and pieces I haven’t messed up yet. That’s reassuring.”

“I suppose you did…” Harker replied, though there was almost a hint of humor in her voice with the comment, though why she was feeling humored about this she wasn’t entirely sure.

“…but I forgive you, Crow. For all of it, okay?” There was another squeeze to his knees before one hand lifted to cup his cheek, her thumb gently tracing back and forth across that warm, blue skin.

“Can we promise one another now, that we’ll try to be more honest with each other going forward?”

Again her acceptance of it seemed to hammer away at him, the kindness both foreign and terribly wanted. Too wanted, maybe. Crow wilted, his cheek turning into her hand as his own reached out for the one on his knee. “I’m sorry. I... I shouldn’t just appear in your life and ruin all of it. That wasn’t.... I didn’t mean to.”

And he had quite effectively ruined it. The unspoken truth between them still stood-- that she only had a small amount of time before her home was compromised.

Harker moved to curl in on herself a bit further, her arms wrapping around her legs as she drew them up towards her chest.

“I get it, Crow,” She quietly murmured, her voice soft as she took in everything he’d just told her.

“I get why you wouldn’t tell me before. I’m not… I’m not mad about that. I just…” She sighed before moving back out of her position to move and crouch down in front of him, her hands coming up to rest on his knees.

“…I guess I’d hoped you’d trusted me enough at this point to tell of your own volition.” Her hands gently squeezed his knees. “But it’s okay, and I’m sorry I got upset.”

Somehow her acceptance of it made him feel... well, maybe not worse than if she’d been angry, but somehow restless. He knew how to deal with anger, he knew how to manipulate his way out of it. Crow wasn’t anticipating this softness, so he didn’t know how to handle it.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” he reiterated, softer this time. “You deserved honesty. ...And I’m sorry I-- I didn’t tell you that’s why they were after me.”

Harker realized that his first answer was a protective reflex pretty much immediately, and maybe that made some of her anger fizzle out a bit.

She was still hurt because he’d lied to her, but… Maybe he had his reasons and how could she really fault him for that?

“…okay. Thank you for being honest.” Not that she’d given him a lot of room to lie. “I-I wish you’d be up front with me about that from the beginning, but… I guess I get why you couldn’t.”

His frown was deep, something deeply melancholy about him that Harker had seen before. It seemed multiplied now-- maybe that was just from how drained he was. “The last people that I told locked me in a box,” Crow answered softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. It’s... it doesn’t even mean that much. I’m hardly worth anything anyhow.”

Crow either legitimately had no idea what she’d meant by talk or he was being deliberately obtuse, and Harker had a sneaking suspicion about which one it really was.

And she had two options about how to address it. Join in with the conversation about re-outfitting her ship, or…

“…are you a Celestial, Crow?” Her voice was soft, a little hesitant, clearly not judging for all that it was curious. “I heard what they were saying back in the cave, but… Are you?”

“No, I...”

His answer was a reflex, bred of fear and discomfort. His body had clenched up, his eyes drifting up to her as he slouched in the dark. But those eyes turned away as he saw the look on her face. His lips tightened for a few long moments, fighting the words that wanted to come out. “...Yes. Not really, but...”

“It was decent piloting, wasn’t it?” She quietly agreed, watching him as he slouched over the bucket and took in deep breaths.

At least he wasn’t throwing up. Fresh air was going to be a difficult to come by for a bit, still, and the gods knew how that smell could linger.

“Suppose we’ll um… We’ll have to talk to pass the time, then.”

Crow seemed drained. He felt like all his strength had just oozed out of him, but at least it was slowly coming back. He wasn’t used to using his biotics, and certainly wasn’t good at it from inside a confined space while moving, but at least he could still function in an emergency. “Good idea,” he breathed.

Harker quickly took note of the fact that Crow’s coloring was a little… off and moved to find him something large enough just in case he did get sick like he seemed to be hinting at.

It also gave her an excuse to check for any potential leaks, though thankfully there didn’t seem to be any.

It also gave her a chance to recollect her thoughts, and she wondered if she should continue the conversation she’d started back on the island.

But she was quiet for a long moment as she returned from the tiny living space below the main cabin, holding out a bucket for Crow before she reclaimed her seat.

“…hopefully we’ll be okay down here for a bit.”

Crow had leaned back in his chair, hands in his face by the time she came back for him. His eyes were still closed as he reached out to take the bucket and position it in his lap, where he slouched over with his arms folded over the rim of it. 

So far no heaving, but it was good to have the precaution available. Crow took in little breaths for a few long moments, his face still hidden from her. 

“I’ll try to make sure you don’t have to…” Harker murmured, though anything else she was going to say died away when a sudden beeping came up from the console.

They were being followed, and the Far Reach was fast approaching.

She swore again before hitting a couple of other buttons, knowing she’d only have one shot to lay a false trail and hopefully get them away from their pursuers.

“…hold onto your butt, Crow…” She muttered before suddenly turning her ship down into a nosedive, heading straight towards the water below and gritting her teeth as they hit that water and kept going.

She went down as far as she dared before cutting the main engine and switching over to the reserve line, hoping it would reduce their energy signals enough that the Far Reach ships wouldn’t be able to detect them.

“…guess this is one way of finding out if the ship’s airtight.” She spared another glance over to Crow. “You still okay?”

Crow lurched again as they took a nose dive, temporarily slipping out of the seat he hadn’t buckled himself into. But he held on, planted his feet, and thankfully didn’t lose his stomach.

But he was taking deep, frightened breaths as they submerged into the dark ocean and finally went still.

A hand finally moved up to check his nose for blood-- nothing. Thankfully. Next, he glanced around to look for leaks-- nothing. 

Harker swore as she realized what Crow was doing, but immediately punched it so that they were taking off, using his little trick to the best of their advantage and zooming off as quickly as she could get the engines to go.

They wouldn’t be able to maintain the speed for long or else they’d risk using up too much of their fuel, but it would given them a sizeable head start, at least.

It wasn’t until the island was barely a speck in the distance did she turn to look at him, her lower lip between her teeth as she looked him over, knowing she had a minute before she needed to make the next bit of travel calculations.

“…you okay? That couldn’t’ve been easy…”

Crow’s head was spinning. At least he didn’t feel any particular pain, only something very disorienting. He blinked a few times before squeezing his eyes shut for a long moment. Speeding like they were definitely wasn’t helping, but if it came between throwing up or getting caught again, Crow’d be alright with losing his stomach.