fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

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@grasshopping
fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

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Me hearing a ton of loud banging from my upstairs neighbor: god that’s so annoying
Upstairs neighbor, who was just transformed into a mute horse: [thinking] fuuuuck my downstairs neighbor is gonna think this is so annoying
Youre always so kind and gentle with me olive garden

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one time when I was a kid my parents were arguing while we were driving somewhere and I was in the backseat so I wrote "are you going to get a divorce" on my foot and slowly extended my leg betwixt the seats
There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two
There once was a man from Verdun
There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...
There once was a man
From Cork who got limericks
And haiku confused.
There once was a man from the sticks
Who liked to compose limericks
But he failed at the sport
Because he wrote them too short
@limerickshere
There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He replied, "Yes, I know-- It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."
On Tumblr did lasses and lads Their way with fail poetry had. You're having your fun But you're fooling no one - It takes skill to do something this bad.
my name is cow
and when i see
this tumblr post
it gives me glee
i think real hard
for words to pick
so i can fail
at limerick
There once was a [person] from [place],
Whose [body part] was [special case].
When [event] would occur,
It would cause [him or her]
To violate [law of time/space].
@apoeticwasteoofspace @sethsquatch44 you guys like poetry, come here :)
They found the last golden ticket . So that’s just it then . Fuck my stupid horrible pathetic life. Cabbage soup for dinner again , my stupid mothtsr. Grandpa Joe said he’s sorry but I know he doesn’t really give a fuck . And who gives a fuck about the other three old people in my house . Whatever their names is. Fuck fuck fuck it’s all worthless . They even made fun of me at school for only buying like 3 wonka bars. Nepo pricks . Fuck my stupid life it’s all fucked it’s all fucked . And my last name is bucket

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Slow sex, dark room, soft music and eye contact 🔥
I hate r*hanna because one time my mom took me to the petting zoo and this big ass goat bit my hand and chased me around the farm and I know in my heart that it was her doing
i think people w acid reflux should be able to store it up so they can unleash it all at once in a devastating corrosive spit attack
completely incomprehensible email from my mom. sent from my it's

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modesty
found this nefarious cube in my home. going to incinerate it out of an abundance of caution.