I come alive when I hear your voice

The older I get, no.

"you are one of gods strongest soldiers" i say, not even believing in either of those institutions

rb to give a snout-out to the gays

once i am perfect in every conceivable way i will be happy i can feel it

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry

Is that a miette?

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

I have GOT to stop spending $30

My 5 year plan is to keep buying $8 frozen coffees until I die of preventable illness

if i hadnt bought that takeout that wasnt even very good on impulse 4 years ago i would be financially stable by now

Dude my coworker left a scrumptious cookie unattended

"sorry for party rocking" I don't think you are. I think you're sorry you got caught