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@graffitiballs
every christmas i am reminded that for 18 years i believed that āi saw mommy kissing santa clausā was about the mom cheating on her husband with santa claus, instead of the dad being dressed up as santa claus and it being cute
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the day steve irwin died this one kid stood at the school gate yelling the news over and over as everyone went home likeā¦ it was so important that he literally took on the role of town crierā¦ and no one believed himā¦
Employer: āWhere do you see yourself 10 years from now?ā
Me:
I love this because you could mean anyone in th picture, including the bear.
You made this 1000x better
tumblr flagged a post of a girl eating berries so fruit is for whores now reblog if youre a fruit eating whore
Him beginning a scream at the last secondĀ š
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I didnāt know johny & his family live with a giant ice cream monster. Also why is johnyās dad saying breakfast is bad???
Iām delirious this is too much
this sounds like a new brian jonestown massacre song. or a drab majesty song!
the gasp sound bite when papa sees him eating breakfast is what the fear of god sounds like
Iām proud to identify as morosexual. Iām attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight
this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther
me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin youāre so fucking stupid
Post like this make me so angry because this would be such a great standup bit
while you studied the blade
I studied the blade too we were classmates
I donāt think Iāve ever been more viscerally angry about a Facebook recipe video. This shit burned my crops and stole my firstborn. I am absolutely appalled by this level of disrespect. Iām ready to fight.
UHM????
THIS IS FUCKING HORRIFYING IF YOU SUPPORT THIS UNFOLLOW ME IMMEDIATELY
I went through all five stages of grief watching this
the she-ra reboot makes this video relevant again which means we are in the best timeline
the kids these days dont know this masterpieceā¦they will learn
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One time I had one of my momās weed cookies and took my dog out for a walk not knowing what was in said cookies, this is what it felt like
itās rly sweet ppl think I live anywhere near a target like,
i can walk into some of the shops in my town barefoot carrying my dog and nobody will tell me to leave.
target isnāt brave enough to build here.
The last bastion of hope.
yeah also itās not illegal to ride a horse to a bar and get wrecked in lieu of a designated driver so like. we have a lot going on here.
Letās be real though, the horse will always head back to its barn, so really this is a great idea. Get smashed, tie yourself to the horse, let the horse do whatever, and youāll end up at home.Ā
ā¦..not that Iāve ever done that on a trail ride before.Ā
Okay, so a trail horse is reliable here, because a horse thatās afraid of city noises will head for home and avoid anything ādangerousā because itās afraid. However, in my experience city-trained horses are much more obedient and are unafraid of roads and trust their rider a lot more fully. So if your drunk ass says āyeah letās steer into oncoming trafficā the horse is gonna say āseems weird but okay man.ā
Okay this is 100% a legitimate point.Ā
The only horse you should trust as DD is a horse with a healthy fear of speeding traffic.Ā
I would hope that thatās all horses
It is possible and common to train the good sense right out of a city horse.
Very very true.Ā
A city horse would walk facefirst into an oncoming train if you asked it to.Ā
This is why I prefer country horses with a degree of realization of its own mortality left to it.Ā
What the hell kinda city has a horse
ā¦I just love the fact that there is a distinction between country horse and city horse.
What is a city horse, what IS it
left ma and popās farm to make it big out thereā¦..that horseās gonna be a star
I know a guy who got a DUI on a donkey
basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood thatās inside of your body, and theyāre likeā¦ a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then thatās probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. thatās basically fine.
if something wants to get at your blood, and theyāre, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, thatās where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out.Ā
unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.
These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all
itās-friday.avi
gently, gently rotating kitten
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Honestly god bless vine for introducing so many young black people to cinematography I canāt wait until black people take over the movie industry.
Idk who started the randomly start dancing as a reaction scene but its keeping me alive and curing my depression
When someone is explaining something to you and you get hit with the realization that you havenāt retained anything that has been said to you and the moment they stop talking you wonāt be able to recall any part of it
