I have 5 months to find a new man or else I have to move back with my husband bc he says I won’t have to pay bills. The dating scene here is tragic.

Im starting to realize my years of stripping and serving (and now health care)have really paid off because I have to carry like 90% of the conversations I have with men around my age. And I’m the one with severe social anxiety. It’s still painful for me don’t get me wrong.

There was one guy I liked but I fumbled. It’s okay because he was young and didn’t make crazy money but he was a total simp. I just need to find a new one. I realize I’m happiest with guys who simp over me and are obsessed. If I can just find a guy who’s obsessed with me, okay to look at, and able to pay a few bills I’ll be happy.

Stillllll considering going back to the club. I’m finally on all day shifts and I don’t have to work every weekend so I could swing it. I had the bright idea to enlist my pseudo SD to take me out to clubs to test them out. That way I can use his money to tip. We’ll see. Summer is awful here money-wise so maybe I’ll just use the summer to test our clubs and then commit in the fall.