you didn't see the monster

Too tired to argue with her, Oswald let the potential argument drop. Barbara, for the moment, was his only real friend and he wasn’t in any position to drive her away. He needed her, as much as he hated to admit that he needed anybody at all. Barbara was kind. Despite what had happened to her, she was still kind. Kindness with an agenda, perhaps, but Oswald appreciated it. 

“I’m alright. I feel as though I’m going a bit stir crazy locked up in this house. Perhaps you and I could get out a little later, pending on my hangover, of course.”

“Ah, I see.” He had long suspected this little arrangement. He didn’t approve of Tabitha Galavan (the bitch had murdered his defenseless mother, after all.) but who was he to stand in the way of Barbara’s choices and happiness? If she made Barbara happy, she would live. 

However, the second that changed, she was out of the picture. He had a blade in the back to deliver. “Have you and… Tabitha discussed this much? It feels as though a conversation on the matter should be in order. I certainly wouldn’t stand for one of my partner’s consistently nagging the other. It would be an endless headache and I – I’m afraid I don’t care for those I love to be in any sort of pain.”

Not that he had much (any) experience in the matters of romantic love. 

  ♘    Jim’s brow furrowed, the expression on his face a mixture of both concern and doubt. It was not an uncommon ordeal for patients at Arkham to try to pull on an act. The majority of the patients here thought they were sane and they generally weren’t. They were here for a reason.

The former detective did want Barbara to get better. She hadn’t asked for any of this. Her mind had been warped, stretched to her breaking point and break she did. Jim didn’t blame her for that, Barbara needed help. That didn’t mean he trusted her either. Too much had happened and Gordon had issues with trust to begin with. 

Barbara—you tried to kill Dr. Thompkins—twice and me as well,” he said dryly, blue eyes watching the woman’s face. It wasn’t a matter of forgiving or not, it was far too complicated for that. It was simply that his ex-fiance had snapped. Killing her parents hadn’t been her fault but it had changed a part of her and Jim wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to fully come back from that. He could hope. Jim did still care a great deal about the woman, which just made this all the more harder. There was that struggled torment in his eyes, blue irises darkened. As much as it would be easier and possibly healthier for Jim to turn his back on this woman and treat her as any other inmate, it wasn’t something he was capable of. Sure he could keep Kean at arm’s length but that wouldn’t change what they had once felt about each other. 

The tears got to him though. He had never liked seeing her cry when they were together, it tugged at his heart. The man swallowed thickly, brow knitting together as he frowned lightly. He took a half step towards her before remembering where they were and settled back in his position. “It won’t be the rest of your life, Barbara,” he started of slowly, his tone sounding a touch thick. 

“It was Arkham or the women’s correctional at Blackgate and believe me that is nasty. I know you might not believe it but therapy is the only thing that is going to get you out of here.” He frowned lightly. The last thing he wanted to do is flat out call her insane, he’d lose her right away if she thought he viewed her like the rest of the staff. “People do get out, I have seen it,” he assured her, despite the fact it had only been a few individuals. “Just—just keep working hard with your sessions.”

His bed was a welcome comfort, a saving grace to his aching muscles and joints. Oswald felt a little bit like a sick kid waiting for his mother to come back from the kitchen. 

Dear God, that was a train of thought that needed to be derailed. Luckily for him, when Barbara came back it distracted him enough from his drunken path.

Smiling tightly, Oswald took the glass and two aspirin from the nightstand, drinking the entire glass in one go. It took him a minute to catch his breath as he set the glass down. “I don’t understand what Butch’s problem with you is.” He mumbled, running a hand over his tired face. “Something to do with Galavan’s sister?”

Tagged by: @aviaiire [ WEALTH ] $ Financial : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste : upper / middle / working / slave / unsure / does not apply ✔ Education : qualified / unqualified / studying / other / does not apply ✖ Criminal Record : yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but has not been caught yet

[ FAMILY ] ◒ Children : has a child or children / has no children / wants children / does not want any children ◑ Relationship with Family : close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings/ sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parents / not applicable / foster parents / ward of the state

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ] ♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ disorganized / organized / in between ♦ close-minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between ♦ empathetic / unempathetic / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / in between / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / in between / unknown

[ BELIEFS ] ★ Faith : monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / it’s complicated ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious : orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical : yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ] ❤ Sexuality : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / demisexual ❥ Sex : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless ❣ Sexually : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious / inhibited ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ ABILITIES ] ☠ Combat Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none   ≡ Literacy Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[ HABITS ] ☕ Drinking Alcohol : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☁ Smoking : trying to quit / never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✿ Other Narcotics : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✌ Medicinal Drugs : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☻ Indulgent Food : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess $ Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ♣ Gambling : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

There were flashes of this woman in his new friend, the woman he met in Jim Gordon’s apartment, that made Oswald blindingly aware of just why the former Detective had been in love with her. Despite what had become of her in Arkham, and before hand, there was a kind person just beneath the surface. “I… water, please.” 

Eating could prove to be unwise. “Barbara, thank you.”

   ♘   Seeing Barbara here almost on a daily basis was hard. Was there a part of him that still loved her? Perhaps in a way. At the very least he would always care about the woman. It was hard to look at her and not see what could have been for them. Jim had wanted to give her everything. They were supposed to have gotten married. Started a family. Be happy. Life hadn’t gone as planned even before Barbara had gotten under the finger of a deranged serial killer.

“Thanks but no thanks,” he muttered dryly. “I doubt the commissioner has any desire to listen to your or anyone you could call.” He hadn’t meant to sound rude, Jim was just tired and false hopes even made out of some desire to hold a conversation just weren’t something he wanted to hear.

Jim turned his attention back to Kean as she went on about the various inmates. It brought a light quirk of his lips for some reason. “Didn’t take you as one to pay so much attention to the other patients, Barbara.” His brow furrowed as he studied the woman a bit. He knew she was doing therapy and taking her medication. Maybe Arkham actually would produce positive results with her. The hope of that actually hurt though. Jim wasn’t blind to the horrors of this place. The facilities just didn’t scream ‘recovery’. The disgraced detective saw very little positive results amongst the patients of Arkham. Whatever Hugo Strange did with his patients just didn’t seem to be producing results. Not ones that lead to many people being released at least.

The thought tugged a small crease in Gordon’s brow. “How are you? Really? Don’t give me some sarcastic answer, Barbara I genuinely want to know.” He glanced around. “This isn’t the best of facilities–how is your treatment going?”

"You...did this?"

"I can't believe you."

"You can hate me, you can dislike me but how can you cheat on me?"

"I'm dying..."

"She/He still loves you."

"I just want to go home..."

"You left me..."

"I can't forgive you for this anymore."

"I'm saying goodbye."

"I'm not good enough for you."

"This is goodbye."

"Was this just a game to you?"

"You merely played me like a fool."

"Goodbye."

"You're pathetic."

"Get out of my sight."

"You're nothing but a toy in a game of life."

"You used me?"

"You're so easy to manipulate."

"I never loved you."

"Don't give me that look."

"I can't stand you."

"Goodbye...my almost lover."

"I would have loved you."

"Everything fell apart and I can't pick up the pieces anymore."

"I think this is where I should say goodbye."

"We never had it all."

"...Everything hurts."

"Go away!"

"I don't want to see you anymore!"

"Let me go."

"To think I almost loved you."

"You cheated..?"

"You love someone else other than me anyway."

"Why do you even bother with me anymore?"

"I'm not worth your time."

"Get out of here."

"Get away from me!"

"Don't touch me every again!"

"I hate you."

"Don't leave me."

"Please, I'll do anything!"

"Don't go..."

"We can talk about this!"

"I can't loose you again."

 “ My lips are sealed. ”  

He   assured her in tune with her own joke. He watched as she poured their drinks, eyes still occasionally wandering around The Sirens and observing the place. He didn’t lie when he said it was looking wonderful, it really was. Barbara had taste but then he always knew that so he didn’t expect anything less exactly. This place was going to make money for sure. Anyone with half a brain could see that and thus the issue. 

He needed to make a claim. He would hope he was the first and all signs seemed to point that way given that if he wasn’t perhaps Barbara and her club wouldn’t be in such great shape. Unless she had already accepted another offer.  He shook his head before putting his own glass to his lips, speaking before taking his first sip “ No, no. You keep them. I’d much rather they stayed here. Painful memories. ” he explained this time offering a somewhat devious smile toward her wording as the glass left his lips. 

He supposed it was time to test that as he sat the wine glass back upon the bar bench. “ Okay, I confess. I did come here for a reason. ” he said bobbing in emphasis. “ I wanted to offer you affiliation. You see I fear its only a matter of time before someone decides to pay this place a visit and demand a fee for operating on their turf━ or worse━ someone sees you as competition and comes for your head. I can offer you protection. Shelter under my umbrella━ as a friend. ” he said, hoping to pretty his offer up enough to sell it. 

He had a feeling she would refuse but he wasn’t finished yet. He still had an argument or two up his sleeve if that were the case. 

One hand gripping the railing, Oswald clenched his jaw to focus himself and (with Barbara’s help) started up the stairs with little problem. Almost 3 years of maneuvering his poorly healed leg around Gotham City and 6 months in this house, his Father’s house, made Oswald a staircase pro. 

“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” He muttered with a tight-lipped smile, leaning heavily against the railing once they reached the short landing. Truly, Oswald hoped for tonight to be his last little hurrah for the time being. It was time to find Fish Mooney, to buckle down as much as his still fractured mind would allow. 

He started up the last 6 steps, wincing in pain with every second too long on his right leg. It was definitely time to lie down for a while. “Barbara?” Oswald’s room was only a few doors away, now, but now he was broken into a cold sweat, his knee beginning to throb through the haze of alcohol. “Would you mind terribly – ah. Sitting with me for a while?”