feeling good living better

“Thanks for being so understanding. Don’t get me wrong, this city is nuts and high school was even more so. But, you’re not somebody I want to leave behind.” Jake pointed out as he started to fish into his truck for what he’d brought her. It was true, this place had felt..limiting, in a way. He felt like he needed the chance to grow, become the man he was meant to be, but leaving people behind wasn’t something he wanted to do, least of all family. “I’ll be honest..this year didn’t go the way I planned. I lost..more that I think I should have..” He started, eyes darting away for a moment, not wanting to show the faint pain of loss in them to her before hope could return. “..but finding you was crazy. Like..almost worth the headache.” Once Jake found the gift, he pulled it out, hanging the blue plaid shirt around her neck. “Now it’s worth the headache.” He smiled as he wrapped her into a hug.

Jake started to pick up some rocks just to be sure, but quickly dropped them once he was his younger sister. “Oh you know, took a wrong turn at the turnpike, me and Katie ended up back in Canada somehow, weird.” He joked as he recalled just how suddenly he decided to leave without so much as a goodbye to some people. It wasn’t like him, and he didn’t want to start off adulthood on the wrong foot. “I kinda forgot to mention I was going to Cali for a few weeks, gonna grow my hair, chill on the beach with my girl. But, I couldn’t do that without giving you something special. I mean, it might not be your style..but, you’re technically a Martin. And I think you should have this.”

@jacintamorley

Jake didn’t mean to misread what Clare had said, but when she admitted that she was leaving..just because, it confused him a little. “You’re just..going?” He said furrowing his brows. The wheels started to slowly turn in his head, if he hadn’t asked her here for this..would he have been told? Would she have told him she was just leaving for New York..through just a text, if at all? “Clare..” He started to say, the millions of reasons why she should stay here, be with her friends, all of it running through his head. Jake Martin had one more time to play hero, save the day. And yet..he couldn’t. “Well..I still think you should go to school. But, I’m done telling people how to live their lives..and failing.” Sighing, he started walking to the door, pulling the handle as he started to leave, waving a hand to her. “..good luck.”

Jake was about to leave, done with this conversation and wanting to enjoy the rest of his night. But her words caught him off guard, turning around with a surprised look on her face. “Huh?” He asked her curiously, listening to her explain herself and how she only needed a few more credits to graduate. “That’s..great. Wow..I knew you were smart but I didn’t think you were that far ahead..” He said, eyes darting to her as his mind started to wander a little. “Knowing you, you got into some fancy New York school soo..I guess the summer, or whatever we’ve got is it..” He said, somewhat sadly, but fixed his face as he flashed her a small encouraging smile. He couldn’t be mad at her for following her dreams. “You’re gonna do amazing. I know you are.”

“Oh come on..” Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair. He didn’t want to go down this road with her, hear about how he was making a “terrible” choice and how much better he could do. As much as he cared for Clare, he wanted to make his own choices. “Clare, I’m gonna date Katie. OK? And, maybe date somebody else. I don’t know what’s in the future. But you gotta stop and let me make my choices. It’s my life.” He said emphatically, straightening up his suit jacket. “Now, are you coming or not? Cause I don’t feel like staying here and fighting right now.”

Jake nodded at her request, sure that the two of them would be able to spend a little more time in here since the hotel was on loan to the school for the night. “Yeah, of course..” He said as he started to wrap an arm around Clare, before furrowing his brows at the mention of Katie. “Spend forever? I’m not marrying her, Clare. She’s, well, gonna be my girlfriend once I go talk to her. I thought we talked about this, I know you and her aren’t friends, but I thought you were OK with what I was doing with her?”

Jake hadn’t had an emotional moment, a real emotional moment like this since Tori. And that was full on crying, small glimmer’s of hope and while trying to cope with something he could never forget as long as he lived. This felt..different. It wasn’t a goodbye, per say, but he could sense that things might not be the same between them. But, maybe change was good. He had spent a good chuck of this year avoiding change, but he realized that it was gonna come no matter what, and he had to adapt to what life through at him. They both did. They weren’t those same kids anymore who could hide from the world. Their future was now, and they had to grow. He hugged her once more, pulling back a little as he looked down at her face. “We should..probably get back to everyone. Katie’s probably bugging Maya about where I am, and I hate to see that kid annoyed..you ready to go?”

Jake frowned a little bit at her words, knowing that she wanted him to stay here. But at this point..he couldn’t. Not only because of graduation, but because while his home was here..it felt dim. So much had happened that it changed him inside, making him feel like he needed to branch out and explore life. If he was ever going to be the man he thought he could, he needed to grow. Maybe it was for the summer, maybe forever..but he needed her to let him go. “I’ll always be here, no matter where I am. Okay? You and me don’t have a distance problem, just a long drive between houses.” He tried to say with a small smile. “Plus, it’s just a little bit of the summer, I’ll be back before you know it. All you need to focus on is you, like I said. This summer’s about Clare Edwards, so make it a good one.”

Jake didn’t have much with him to stop the crying, but he pulled out his handkerchief from his lapel pocket of his suit, using it to dry her tears. He nodded at her words, hoping that it was a promise that the both of them could keep. To Jake, Clare wasn’t some girl of the week or a random conquest. She meant something, and she was someone he held dear for as long as he could remember. And he wanted to keep that girl in his heart, close to him. “It’s rental, but hey, I’m an adult after tomorrow..you only live once right?” He replied with a smile, brushing his hand against her cheek. “You’ll be OK, I know you will.”

Smiling at her response, he hugged her a little bit tighter, glad that he could help end this year on a good note somewhat. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. I mean, honestly..this year has been crazy, for the both of us.” He pointed out, sighing as he reminisced about the good as well as the bad from the past year. “But you know the one thing’s that’s always stayed the same throughout all of it? Through..new or old sisters, boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, hell even friends..like, it’s always been fluctuating. But not us, not you and me. And I know it might be kinda dumb..but I hope that doesn’t change. That we’re always there for each other and in each other’s lives.” 

Surprisingly, this was the second crying girl he was consoling this week. But he could tell these were happier tears and with less of a chance of him getting hurt physically. “Hey..” He said as he pulled her into another hug with both arms, rubbing her back. Jake wanted to let her cry her eyes out and take the banner home of course, but she couldn’t do that with her face a mess. “I’m hoping those are ‘I can’t fit this in the limo’ tears..cause you deserve something nice like this. We love you Clare, I love you.” 

“You were saying that nobody cared about all the hard work you did for them. Or that nobody appreciated you. And Zig and me just wanted to show you that you’re wrong..for once, of course.” He boasted proudly, knowing that her need to be right was important to her. People may have had their issues and could be a bit self centered at times, he knew that first hand. But people loved Clare, even if they couldn’t show it as best they could. “So..yeah. You can like, take it home, show your mom. I know, but I’m sure she’ll think it’s cool. Cause my mom does.” He said as he pointed to his mother’s signature on the banner. 

Jake could tell she had had a few drinks already, unable to help the laugh that escaped his lips as he did as well as her reaction to the banner. Thankfully, it was doing the trick. “Surprise.” He spoke out, letting her admire the banner as he folded his arms. “Well, you know, I wanted to do something special for you. Me and Zig’s idea. We got friends, teachers, Simpson..a ton of people to sign it. We wanted you to see just how much people cared about you, and appreciated all the hard work you put in. Because..I know I did.” He smiled, opening his arms and hugging her side before pulling back. “So..you can see Tori’s, Zig’s, Becky’s..hell you can read em all! You like it?”

@clareedwardswrites

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jake: no worries, I’ve got at least one dance for you.