Iâm gonna learnâŚ. 4000 languages and be friends with every human being on earth
me when iâm drunk
Xuebing Du
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
RMH

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
will byers stan first human second
Stranger Things

Product Placement
Noah Kahan

#extradirty

Sade Olutola
đ

PR's Tumblrdome
cherry valley forever
EXPECTATIONS
Jules of Nature

Andulka
$LAYYYTER
KIROKAZE

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@goodcallmyyoungpadawan
Iâm gonna learnâŚ. 4000 languages and be friends with every human being on earth
me when iâm drunk

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday, every half hour goes to your room opens the door and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves
i spilt lipstick in your valentino bag
OH, Y OU SPILA̜U̜G̸N̾B̾D̡A̡U̡H̸N̴A̾U̡G̾H̾-
this vine is 1000 times funnier in text form
this is the new meme for February, yâall
famous vines in text form
Four female ghost busters? The feminists are taking over!
DU DU DU-
IM AN ADULT VIRGIN
CHRIS!1! Is tHaT A WeEd?!
No, this is a crayo-
IâM CALLING THE POLICE!111!!11!111
*BEEP BEEP BEEP*
911, whatâs your emergency?
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
sO iâM SiTTiNG ThERe
Barbecue sauce on my titties
STAHP
I COULDâVA DROPPED MY
Croissant
I WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BOY
here he comes
I WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BOY
Calling people daddy is gross
Stop kink shaming me
Kink shaming IS my kink
HHA-AHH
What do you have?
A KNIFE!!!
NO!
Why does he have a knife?
ah, you canât sit with us :)
actually Megan, I canât sit ANYWHERE. I have
Hemorrhoids
ibroughtyoufrankincense
thank you
and i brought you myrrh
thank you
myrrh-DER
hhhhJUDAS. NO-
I am THE SAND GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN of the SAND.
Poseidon quivers before him!
âŚ
fuck off!
I SAW YOU HANGIN OUT WITH KATELYN YESTERDAY
R-REBECCA ITâS NOT WHAT YOU THINK
I WONâT HESITATE
BITCH
*pew*
And they were roommates!
Omg, they were roommates
@burnsatthecenteroftime
french person: *speaks french*
me, crying: how do you do that with your mouth
guys please, I cannot answer all 0 messages

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i put the hot in photo
I thought this said âI put the hot in potatoâ
one time when i was a little drunk and laying in bed with a guy, i kissed his neck and mumbled âi could beat the shit out of youâ in his ear.
he said âi knowâ
when I was 14 I worked in a grocery store and one day I got to bag Stephen Kingâs groceries and of course, being the little horror fiction nerd I am I was completely starstruck
I think he thought I was gonna ask for an autograph because I was not even lowkey staring I was full on moon-faced and bouncing and he kept looking over at me hesitantly like aw jeez kid fuck off
anyways I finally managed to squeak out that I was a huge fan and asked for advice on writing, âhow do I write as well as you do?â in my horrible thick German accent and broken ass English and he gave me the best writing advice I have ever received
âshit kid, stop worrying about how other people do it and just write your storyâ
14 years later my wife and I nearly hit him with our car because he was jaywalking
I donât care if I lose a thousand followers overnight, but if you think âtrannyâ or âshemaleâ are remotely acceptable ways to refer to a transgender person, please unfollow me.
The number of notes on this pleases both my ego and my fragile faith in humanity.
Adding on, âextra hole boyâ, or âpussy boyâ are equally abominable ways to refer to trans men.
Dont use Shim, shehe/heshe, chick with a dick d*ckgirl or c*ntboy either
and if you use âitâ to dehumanize any trans person i will personally come to your house, break down your door, and piss on everything you own
âSissyâ and âtrapâ are also utterly reprehensibleâŚ
Also if you call a trans woman futa I will kick your fucking teeth in
Please yes, im fucking sick of people looking at and consuming futinari culture and think thatâs what we are
is it okay for a person who is not trans to reblog this?
Given the fact this is a legit list of words that trans people donât want to be called/donât want to hear, I hereby decree this post may be reblogged by everyone who wants to spread the word that these words are NOT ACCEPTABLE.
we train young girls to ignore their hunger, to walk and stand and sit like ladies, to paint over or cover their pimples and stretch marks and cellulite, and then we are shocked when they grow up and become women who are alienated from their own bodies
People can do this if they want but no one should be judged for not doing it

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Goethe-Institut did a web series a while back aimed at new arrivals in Germany and I like how it make sure to teach people that a lot of Germans are rude af
like, this is a genuine scene from an ep:
#Ok but for a second there I was likeâ#this is a bit exaggeratedâ#itâs not that rude to say hi to strangersâ#just a bit weirdâ#but then I realisedâ#the rude person is probably meant to be the one ignoring the âhi'â
Well sheâs obviously doing it wrong. You got to mumble âGuten Tagâ in no oneâs actual direction upon entering the waiting room. Then you donât speak a word (you gotta grab a magazine though, because if youâre on your mobile people will find that asocial) until the doctor calls you and when you get back to retrieve your jacket you mumble âAuf Wiedersehenâ.
If you say âGuten Tagâ while sitting down itâs either because youâre passive-aggressively shaming the person youâre talking to for not saying âGuten Tagâ (which is of course highly respectable, but weird if they did say it) or worse:Â
Youâre trying to make small-talk.
See also: when entering a crowded bus, tram, subway or train, you do not say a single word. You look for an empty bench. If there are none, you will have a neighbour. You stop at an empty spot and mumble something like âtschulli-ngâ or âs-nch-frei?â to the person occupying the other spot on the bench. You nod in an upward direction. They reply a mumbled âtĂźrlichâ while vaguely looking somewhere near your face and moving their bag if neccessary. You sit down, nod gratefully, and keep your mouth shut for the rest of the ride. Neither of you wanted this. You wanted freedom. Donât bother each other.
If an entire bench in front of you becomes available at the next stop, though, it is not the polite thing to free your neighbour and yourself up. No, you stay right where you are. The silent stranger next to you is your silent stranger now.
Welcome to Germany. This is how we express love.
None of these people are joking.
And if youâre the one sitting at the window and you want to get off at the next stop, you begin to loudly rustle with your bag whatever, because that way you can signal the other person that you need them to get up without having to speak to them.
When no-fault divorce was legalized in the 70â˛s, the states that legalized it saw a decrease of 8 to 16 percent in married women committing suicide and a 30 percent decline in domestic violence.
(from @aisandetsarepeopletoo)
this is why worshipping the so-called âtraditional familyâ is a load of fucking bullshit
Racist white women after they tell you they have a Black boyfriendÂ
eats a grape and a slice of cheese simultaneously: ratatouille
upkyle
Wait⌠whatâs âupkyleâ?

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TAKEEEEEEEE
ONNNNNNNN
MEEEEEEEE
TAKE ON ME
TAKEEEEEEEE
MEEEEEEEE
ONNNNNNNN
TAKE ON ME
IâLLLLLLLLL
BEEEEEEEE
GONEEEEEEEE
IN A DAY OR
TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i lived, bitch
i laughed, bitch
i loved, bĂŻtch
I ainât never gunna stop loving you, bitch.
I wonât hesitate, bitch