Part II.

It’s been months since the last time I actually wrote and I’m pretty sure I said I wouldn't go this long without writing…I guess I was wrong. It’s too easy to get caught up in everyday bullshit, but if all I’m doing is posting photos then what’s the point of having this blog?

So being that this conveniently is the last day of February I wanted to touch down on Black History Month and get a little something off of my chest:

If you know who I am and you’re reading this you would know that I grew up in a very small and very white town in Central Alberta. For my entire childhood right into adulthood I've never had peers that I could truly identify with.  The majority (if not all) of my closest friends are/were either white or of aboriginal descent. Don’t get me wrong I have amazing friends, I adore my friends but let’s be real here; it sucks when you can’t have a conversation with someone (a woman especially) that can truly and passionately understand what you’re going through on a day to day basis. And not just any conversation, I’m talking about a dialogue that only another black woman would understand.  I’m just going to be blunt and say it…sometimes white people just don’t get it. Before you go off just hear me out: Would a white person, who’s surrounded by other white people all of the time, know what it feels like to be the only black person ALL of the time? Of course not. I’m not throwing any shade towards white people or my friends for that matter, this is all about perspective.

For my entire life I have been surrounded by “white walls.” From rodeos, to hockey games, to bars, to snowboarding trips. From event, to event, to the workplace and so on and so on. While I’ve made many amazing memories and people have made me feel right at home, there also have been moments where people have “kindly” reminded me that I’m the elephant it in the room. Not even what people say, it’s the way they look at me like I have 3 fucking heads! Yes…I’m black so what would you like to do about that other than stare at me?

Some people might think “well why do you continue to go these events, and hang out at these places?” Sometimes I even say it to myself. But in reality I do enjoy it, I love spending time with my friends but after while these type of environments take their toll on me.

The funny thing is, when the time comes around where I want to go to a club that is more associated with Hip Hop or with people who are more “like me”; it’s pretty much impossible to get my friends on board. “Well I don’t like going there because I feel uncomfortable, I don’t like the way the girls there stare at me, I don’t like being the only white person there, etc.” Uhhhh HELLO?! Nice to meet you, welcome to my world! It’s laughable…but again they’re never the minority. They’re so used to being the majority that they wouldn’t understand and I can’t give anyone shame or blame for something that they don’t understand. I can’t get mad at them for feeling uncomfortable because they’re being put in a situation they’re unfamiliar with. A situation that I’ve grown to be a little too familiar with for my liking. That’s just the way it’s always been, but it’s time for a change

Now that I've finished my little vent (sorry, not sorry), let’s get to why Black History Month 2014 has finally given me a sense of meaning:

When you grow up in a white town/school, Black History Month is just February. There’s no education, no recognition; it’s just another month so it never really meant anything to me.  And I’m not down with continuing on with that. In this last month, I have educated myself more on Black History than I probably have in my entire adult life. And I've done this all on my own; from books, to documentaries, to my “mini online history lessons.”

I've submersed myself in Hip Hop, investing more of my time learning about the culture instead of just listening to the music. I spent an amazing weekend with my new found friend Cheryl; where we attended two unremarkable parties. I’m talking Neo-Soul, R&B, late 90’s/early 00’s hip hop type shit. Well let me tell you…that was TWO breaths of fresh air!