dear, my darling

what’s his deal?

he was born in daegu, south korea on october 15, 2000

tw alcoholism — his dad was a military man, holding incredibly toxic masculine values, while his mother was a washed-up unsuccessful artist who never made it to the stage. the two of them met in rehab for alcoholics — end tw

not wanting ahseop to grow up with wishy washy ideals and a vague dream to chase, his father sent ahseop to an extremely competitive boarding school where he was told to strive for the best

life in the boarding school wasn’t the best for ahseop, while he managed to keep up his grades enough to satisfy his father and achieve the highest rank in his class among his peers, that only made him a target of resentment. added with his resting bitchface and lack of expression, only isolated him further as his classmates believed he thought he was too good for any of them

music was his only reprieve, composing from a young age. his music teacher was the only person he felt he could talk to, not in any noble manner—but because the teacher saw potential in him

in highschool, he was scouted by a small company when he was busking at a park

against his father’s wishes, ahseop signed himself to the company. eventually dropping out of school when he was slated to debut because the schedules wouldn’t work with his boarding school

tw alcoholism — during this time, his parents got into a huge argument and his mother started relapsing badly. she was checked into rehab and the two of them officially divorced some time later, leaving ahseop to his father’s scrutiny, who also started drinking — end tw

unfortunately, the company he debuted under eventually went bankrupt and the group was disbanded, giving his father ample justification to shove ‘i told you so’ into his face

he started working a few jobs to keep himself busy and make something of himself, while his father hounded him to get his education back on track

however, as luck would have it, when ydh entertainment was holding auditions and he joined in because he had nothing else to lose—he got signed again, much to his father’s dismay

going up?

the lawsuits that ydh is dealing with didn’t exactly instill confidence, but ahseop has grown desperate with no other options, so he stays

he trained for two years, realizing that his creativity wouldn’t be properly used as ydh is more restrictive than he originally thought, especially when it comes to crafting an image for the public

during his training days, he heard whispers and was also directly criticized about how he needs to smile more in order to make it in this industry—that snapped something inside him, so he starts practicing how to smile in front of a mirror, forcing himself to be more of a moodmaker and jokester, at least within crowds

when he was chosen for debut, ahseop wasn’t sure how to feel about it. there were even more restrictions and a concept they must adhere to at all costs—and he’d be at the center of it all

still, despite the heavy burden and the parasocialism he’s forced to participate in, he wants to do some good. he remembers how he’s brought up, the horrors of boarding school, the mental health of kids like him—so he donates, but that ends up making him go viral

the rumours that he’s doing charity work to hide his bad behaviour had always existed, he thinks it’s because of his resting bitchface off camera, but the rumours worsened when he emotionally snapped at an ex group mate of his, raising his voice and saying things—there were no visual witnesses, but it happened

however, it hasn’t had a big toll on his reputation as a whole… it does feed more into the sasaengs attacks and hate comments though, gives them more ammo against ahseop, but his own fans are rather loyal

tw smoking & alcoholism — if it does get out that he smokes to deal with everything, and that he’s always a day away from picking up a bottle, it’ll probably ruin their image… but he can’t help it, really. at least when it comes to drinking, he still manages to hold off because he has seen what happens due to his parents — end tw

plot ideas!

to the other sodapop boys: if you trained as long as he did, you probably saw what he was actually like prior to everything! only to see him become kind of a Different Person. but if you trained a little while after he already made himself into a moodmaker persona, then maybe the days where he’s just staring up at the ceiling zoning out after holding a million fans’ hands is new to you

tw smoking — someone (whether in sodapop or not) who runs into him smoking and tells him that he should quit because it could ruin the group’s image especially because he’s the center, or someone who he can share a moment like this with. being real and genuine, for once! — end tw

someone he might have known from his time in the boarding school as the smart kid who left everything behind, most likely someone who still holds the belief that ahseop thinks he’s better than everyone, he never cared to dispel how people perceive him

i think a secret ex would be an interesting dynamic to explore during his trainee days… once he was slated for debut and the company’s restrictions became even more daunting, ahseop would have called it off no matter how he feels about it, timelines would have to fit though!

alternatively, a what-could-have-been person in ahseop’s life that he’d think about whenever his defenses are down, but it’s impossible to ever ruminate on now that he has debuted

someone who does believe the rumours that ahseop is just doing charity work to cover up his bad behaviour, and wants to call him out on it

coming from a strict family he never actually indulges in hobbies like gaming, reading and fandom culture… i want someone out there to introduce him to something nerdy, give him a reason to become invested in romcom manhwas and play things!!