Tamagotchi Victim Maker

yuna: ohhhyour son could have made it to the big leagues? if he didn't have that shin injury? and his dad also played travel in high school? yeah that's sweet, I'm sure you guys are reaaally into hockey. anyways my son is shane fucking hollamder, #1 player in the league and he was so good at hockey that he got me a son in law, the #2 player in the league

my vision for ilya’s big as fuck maine coon is that he’s instructed by his therapist to get an emotional support animal but he doesn’t want one, so he goes to the shelter and adopts the mangiest, meanest, most gigantic maine coon they have. she’s missing most of one ear, she’s as smart and crafty as a human toddler, and she hates everyone, ilya included, with a murderous rage (ilya approves of this). ilya loves regaling shane on the phone with stories about anya’s latest attempts on his life and the lives of his teammates and shane is alarmed but is also privately like well this is the happiest he’s sounded in months so maybe it’s fine?

no ai usage over here. you’re gonna get my shitty authentic writing whether you like it or not

never kill yourself, hudson williams may sign up to play another slut tomorrow, you don't wanna miss that

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

ur girlfriend/boyfriend should NOT be ur first priority... ur first priority should ALWAYS be me, ur tumblr mutual

THE WAY SHE POSED AFTERWARDS HFKFBDK