gojirawr :3

genuinely cannot stop repeating My neighbor michael i’ve known for thirty years is purple for some reason

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

Rocky thinking Grace literally said “I have to go and die” on one of their first interactions is so funny to me. Like imagine meeting an alien after almost half a century alone and then they go “ah, bad timing, I’m gonna go lay down and never get up. Nice meeting ya! :)”

“I don’t do math because I’m gay” “the gays can’t do math” “If I explain math on tumblr I’ll lose my gay card” all of you apologize to Alan Turing right now 

The “+” in LGBTQ+ is for math.

It’s literally been years since anyone added something slightly clever or original to this post, so I would like to congratulate you and maybe even bestow some kind of award. I don’t have anything to give you though

It was simple addition, really.

#Two months on‚ Rothney is in a co-working arrangement with the nest‚#which is now more than a metre tall and swallows an entire bookshelf of ring binders.#owns. of course they feel safe around her bc she is a queen

only time i will endorse putting hypermodern memes/slang/references into historical adaptation stuff is with shakespeare. so many of his jokes are his contemporary equivalent of that anyway. he would have loved secret third thing. he would have loved counting or not counting gang violence