characters will be tagged according to name (ex: sister imperator, mr psaltarian, papa iii) with the exception of non-canon names and characters with several names. this includes:
# frater imperator : cardinal copia, papa iv
# mama imperator & papa imperator : sister imperator’s parents
# ghosty twins : sister imperator’s twin sisters
# the reverend : sister imperator’s stepdad
# mama emeritus & papa emeritus : papa nihil’s parents
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Feeling super happy rn cause I just finished my longest fic ever after it spent over a year in development hell (procrastination)
Sending you the same energy for any of your recent WIPs or projects you've been wanting to get to! And if you feel like it, you could share any thoughts or parts of it as well :)
CONGRATULATIONS🩷🎉🎊 i really look forward to you sharing your writing on here :-) you’re talking to the ceo of procrastination and writers block so i totally get where you’re coming from lol but the hard part is over!!! you’ve done it!! and best of luck to all your future projects🫶
a week ago i finally updated my laptop and this morning before work i put it on the charger so hopefully that’s a sign. for now though, here’s a bit from two fics that i’ve had in my drafts for almost a year now
some background: circus unveiled has 3 total documents in my drive including the first draft, the second “draft” which was very briefly posted on tumblr before i decided i didn’t like it, and now the very rough version of the new timeline i’ve settled on (for now) which is at 10k words currently. overall i’m looking to cover the 2 years which the comic skips over from the time sister imperator joins the circus to when the circus burns down, including detailed flashbacks of her childhood and years as a homeless youth. it’s become a bit more of an au at this point because i plan to involve my vision for the romanian abbey and sister’s time as a novice.
—
AUGUST, 1958.
A carton of cigarettes, filled only with a dead lighter and ashes that spill from the points. A cracked, heart framed photo of her late father stolen from her mother’s bedside drawer. A raggedy, ammonia scented plush lamb that her sister had left on the couch. A kitchen knife so dull that it hardly served its purpose now. The only things she’d bothered grabbing before she left home.
She can’t say that she doesn’t wish that maybe she’d thought to have packed an emergency bag prior to the night hell became more than fire and brimstone. Clothes that she could grow into, the money that her mother kept hidden in the spare tire under the trunk floor, the dandy Colt 1911 her stepfather left unattended in her mother’s standing jewelry armoire- just the basics. It’s too late for that now, besides, there’s no sense beating herself up about it when the figures of her sisters have laughed at her enough in her misery.
Surrounded by these strangers now, she’s beginning to regret much more than the contents of her bag. From the redhead’s enthusiastic introduction of her, she cringes at the reaction. Despite herself, she wants to scoff. She’d learned the art of bending over backwards, of killing herself over and over at the feet of her mother, of her stepfather, for the simple things. “Mature beyond her years” from the mouths of her teachers. “Vapid, ungrateful bitch” from the mouth of her stepfather. Still, she knew her cards and played them well. Snark traded for blackmail with age, reminders to her mother about her weekly book club while the reverend was busy with his own clergy happenings being enough to earn enough cash for her and her sisters to see the latest feature at the theater in town. And then the knowing to not ask for anything from her mother in the presence of her stepfather, the reverend, as to not trigger some furious rant as to how anything regarding his assets was meant to go through him- she would just have to hold off until he had one of his oddly late meetings at St. Slyvester’s. It had taken a decent year of trial and error, of pushing every wrong button again and again, of spilled blood in the sink and bruised arms, before she had perfected her methods and deemed it safe enough to share with her sisters.
(second excerpt from later in the chapter)
Nevermind, all her words blur together through her thick accent that the girl can’t pick apart with the speed at which she talks. She nods blankly and takes in the walls around her, makes note of the fixture of the lock on the door and the three bells dangling beneath the handle. For such a small space, she thinks that Marika has done a good job decorating- at least by her standards, years spent in a room that she wasn’t allowed to customize. There’s some old posters on the wall, folded over and ripped at the edges like they’d been taken off the street itself, branded with the familiar Cirque du Caelestis in gold lettering above a woman balanced on top of a man’s shoulder. The brunette over his shoulder is clad in a black and yellow piece, ribbons of red cascading behind her and the ginger man is stuck in some red and orange spandex that certainly had seen better days. It doesn’t take a genius to assume what they’re doing posted up in her room.
“Your parents?” She interrupts with half a mind, pointing at the print.
“Hm? Oh- yes! They used to perform together back before we were born,” she refers to her siblings. “I guess it’s like that for most of the people here- you work, you find love, you die in the circus. Just the way of life I guess.”
“Not very romantic, is it?” She snickers and sits back. You die in the circus. God, did Marika have a way with words. No matter that, maybe love was as blind as everyone promised. Not even a day in and she’s already less than impressed with the men she’s stumbled upon while being dragged through the grounds. She hasn’t formally met most but she knows the type by look alone, a thousand of the same man carved with the same blade. She doesn’t have the heart to tell Marika that she could care less about her brothers, that a man with several bastard children by twenty and a teenage boy who doesn’t know that her eyes are up here, aren’t impressive to her.
The redhead shrugs. “It worked for them. I don’t think I’ve seen a couple half as in love as my parents- you don’t acquire five children in such little time unless you mean it.”
She thinks back to her own family, stuck on the memory of her parents arguing in the kitchen while she was left to monitor her sister’s getting ready for the day. They could’ve gotten away with being prosperous in their loveless marriage- they’d only needed one the worst luck in the world and one more set of twins to match the appearance of Marika’s family. The memory of her sisters makes her heart sink and she shuffles in the bed until she has readjusted her posture, perfectly upright and alert. “I guess so.”
—
and the other long fic i’ve had in my drafts is temporary secretary, a marika/psaltarian fic that takes place mid 70s (a year or so after volume 4 ends). it’s mostly a romance and family drama
//
Lost in the monotony of folding pamphlet after pamphlet, cutting out paper fringe on black and white prints with the ministry’s main line in loose tabs which will mostly be taken by children who can’t keep their hands to themselves. That, or the passing devotee of lost faith who will attend mass once before deciding that their brand of satanism is not nearly as exciting as the media promised. It’s a waste of time, even as desperate as they are now without the support of the band doing the heavy lifting they know that this is all for naught- going door to door preaching their cause has never been their forte.
Still, Sister Imperator corners Marika with a shadow of that bright smile that the redhead has fallen for a million times over in years past and piles the senseless work onto her knowing that she’s the only one that will do it without complaint. The paper trail is beyond boring for Marika’s tastes but she keeps her lips clamped when her dearest sister raves on about how wonderful it is to share their message in the streets wherever the newbies and ghouls see fit.
More color might be nice, the thought rolls around in her mind as she drags a pink nail along the folded crease. Maybe some photos of the siblings working together. That could sell it. But her brother and sister have already decided her purpose in their new church and Marika knows that she must have faith in their judgments. After all, it was Sister that had been chosen to fill her mother’s position- not her.
More than anything, she yearns for a time when her work didn’t involve being glued to a chair that creaks anytime she even thinks about moving and sorting through papers that nobody will remember a week from now. It’s boring, thankless for the most part, and worst of all, it aged her joints worse than being strung up from the goddamn ceiling of a tent. Marika knows that Imperator is right. This arrangement, safer and surrounded by family, will be better for Cardi than their life before. Still, it doesn’t keep her from dreaming of a world where the success of her circus lasted more than the few short years it did. It had been enough to honor her late father’s efforts, to put bread on the table for her little one, and to give her only a moment to bask in the spotlight just one last time- that had to be enough for her.
The Xerox beside her gives a defeated groan as it spits out the last of the flyers in a neat pile for her to collect. Gliding her index finger along the side of the freshly printed sheets too quickly, she hisses at the sharp throb of a blooming cut, blood already bright against her skin. The noise of approaching footsteps goes unnoticed as she bows in on herself, the minor cut closed between her fingers with applied pressure. It isn’t until the footsteps still that Marika looks up to acknowledge the guest, who clearly must be incapable of turning their own way. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
She tries her best to not to wince at her own words, how clunky the English comes out and the heaviness in her jaw as she recalls the greeting list that she’d been given. A dainty half sheet with suggestions printed in huge lettering, complete with underlining for emphasis, and the most mortifying piece of all, words spelt out according to pronunciation. Sister had meant well, Marika knew that in her heart, but the seeming lack of confidence had worn her soul away bit by bit. Nearly a year since her arrival to the states and the redhead still can’t fathom why her siblings thought to make a justified secretary of her in the meantime.
She had been something back at home. Had proven competent and devout and more than capable of serving the clergy the way her father had once envisioned for her. The patience of a saint and the perfect, plastic smile that did all of the heavy lifting for her.
“I was supposed to be meeting Sister Imperator and Mr. Nihil in the main office.” Mister Nihil. Marika bites back a smile at the title and pockets it for later use against her brother. “I’ve already checked around their individual offices and the temple- all coming up nil. Any idea if they’re playing hooky and decided not to warn me first?”
Marika knew her siblings to be dependable, had seen their years of labor through several careers and lives they had led both together and apart. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean their schedules aligned with anyone’s but their own. “They were in this morning,” she rushes to defend them for whatever reason. Faith, loyalty, a reminder of the baby faced teenagers she had once fretted over. Whatever it was that kept her here after the beating heart of their family had been lost.
(and a second excerpt from chapter 2)
“Hey, stranger.” Psaltarian can’t say he took the long way around the ministry to catch a peak at the woman that had helped him the week prior. He also can’t say he left home with fifteen minutes to spare all so that he could take the time to flirt with this glorified Satanic office secretary he had only recently become aware of. Well, he could admit these things as truth but for the sake of his pride and dignity, he won’t.
Done up in a crimson button down and a pink headband to match, Marika looks from her work, dead serious. “Hay is for horses.” Through her thick accent, he briefly worries about the informality interfering with her understanding. His face shifts awkwardly into confusion as he opens his mouth to explain but is interrupted by the break of laughter. His own tricks being used against him.
The woman waves him in with a broad gesture, swiveling in her office chair and setting a batch of papers on her desk. “I hope you aren’t expecting me to track those kids down again,” Marika grins up at him, green eyes sparkling.
“No- well, at least I hope not. Just came around to…” God, what was that excuse he practiced in the car? “Take a survey.” Right, yeah. Scoping out if the assumed new hire is single just happens to be HR’s favored choice of questionnaire subject. Genius.
Real confusion drips from the woman now, brows furrowed and looking around as if in search of help. “Me? A survey? I’m not so sure if-”
“Forget your lawyer at home?” He jokes, waving his hands to settle her. “I’m kidding. I promise you don’t need Sister’s approval to breathe.” Psaltarian is aware of the Imperator’s methods and though she isn’t outright cruel to her girls, the air of fear she commands is less than subtle.
“She’s not like that,” Marika assures, always quick to come to her angelic sister’s defense. She couldn’t deny Imperator’s short fuse of knee-jerk indulgences but she would follow her to the ends of the Earth despite it all. Folding her hands politely in her lap, the redhead tilts her head with a cheeky grin. “So, about that survey?”
marika slamming on the breaks of her car when she hears abba’s hit 1975 song ‘i do, i do, i do, i do, i do’ and running to the nearest pay phone to ring psaltarian’s office line and demanding that they need to change their first dance song immediately. psaltarian tries to remind her that they have already begun polishing the choreography for the song and sent off the list to their dj. 3 months later they are dancing to abba.
they need to create a world for girls that wake up early. i can’t be up and ready at 5am on my day off and have to wait another six hours for the mall to open
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he literally being so obnoxious and manhandling her while they’re just fooling around after a show and he’s squeezing her ass and slyly trying to nudge the crotch of her leotard aside and rudely try to push a finger or two inside of her already soaked cunt
he’s being mean and very loudly telling her how wet she is already <3 he’s making her hold her leotard aside while she sits on his dick and he just sits back and holds the ribbons of her costume aside <3 she’s soaking through the front of his jeans <3 he’s promising not to get any cum on her outfit but is wiping his dick off using the inner fabric of her leotard just to make more of a mess for her to clean up and think about him later <3 and so she has to feel his cum against her cunt when she’s walking back to change out of her costume <3
nihil does nawttttt give a single fuck when he finds out. he’s been horny for TOO damn long and nothing is stopping him. he’s got sister laying in his lap with her ass up while he works two fingers down to the knuckle. he’s being greedy and when he’s eating her out, he’s got a hand between her legs to jerk her off at the same time until she’s shivering and pressing back into his face for more between the stuttering of her hips to fuck his hand. she’s trying to talk back and mouth off at him like usual, desperate to keep up their regular banter to fight off her nerves when he’s lubing her up and preparing to fuck her for the first time but she’s digging her nails into his shoulders until he’s bleeding. he’s kissing her face all over and telling her to relax when he’s finally got a hand on his own dick, tip resting against her puffy hole and slowly working his way inside her….. ugh he’s literally being such a sweetheart about it all he wants to make her feel good all the time
young sister imperator/nihil is so awesome. they were just stupid teenagers working in a circus. nihil would leave for unspecified amounts of time for seminary (which he would promptly run away from every few months before the semester even wrapped) and sister would just be bored sitting around his trailer looking through his things when he isn’t around to tell her to quit it (because clearly there isn’t enough work to be done). nihil is not at all prepared for her to hold up his childhood stuffed animal that he keeps tucked beneath his sheets when he’s away (so it does not get cold) and ask him why he still has it. she can’t even bring herself to bully him for keeping around his raggedy looking horse plushie because he already looks embarrassed about it but she brings it up anytime he suggests they go back to his room. “i can’t give you a handy. ur horsey is looking at us.” nihil hates that she knows but is somewhat thankful that she didn’t make him throw it out and hasn’t mentioned it to his siblings (who would 100000% bully the fuck out of him for it. the way siblings do) so he supposes it could be worse. after her discovery, when nihil is away she steals his horsey to take to her own room because it smells like him and even if it is stupid, she knows it’s important to him so it feels like a fitting token to cuddle with when he isn’t around.
let’s hear some noise for little family marika/psaltarian + young cardi <3
- marika is ALWAYS five minutes late. doesn’t matter what they’re doing, where they’re going. it drives psaltarian up the wall because nothing he does to help works. setting her bedside alarm earlier to give her time to dilly dally? she’s still lounging in bed and rolling onto his side so she can enjoy the “accidental” extra time cuddling. lying about the time of events so that they have to leave earlier? marika manages to lose her glasses right before they’re set to leave and everyone in the house has to go on a scavenger hunt- only for her to find them in her purse once everyone has given up hope. there’s no telling the exact reason why it’s always five minutes that she’s late by but it’s forced psaltarian to be less anal about timeliness after years of her wearing him down.
- family gatherings are held every sunday at the psaltarian’s house upon marika’s insistence (and her brothers’ eager push for it to be held at their bougie beach house instead of the ministry) that cardi grows up around family. except, cardi can’t stand it. they’re all too loud and everyone always winds up drinking a bit more than they should. this means embarrassing questions from his weird uncles who won’t stop asking if he has a girlfriend yet (which marika admittedly shuts down immediately because her baby is five and secondo does not need to put ideas in his mind). then there’s sister imperator who’s always hovering and calling him over to talk except it’s like she never knows what to say so it winds up being some lecture about how he has to be good in school and how in a few more years he’ll be able to help around the ministry (like he’s been absolutely dying for the opportunity). thankfully, psaltarian feels the same way as cardi about these gatherings. he’s tired of watching drunken idiots stumble off his deck and yelling over card games and petty debates so when he sees cardi’s social battery die, he gets to come to the rescue. psaltarian gets to be the responsible dad and tell everyone that it’s getting late for cardi and to say their goodnights to him. cardi is finally led back into the house where his pa follows him back to his room and just plops down on the floor, no mention of pajamas or teeth brushing because he knows they both just need a break. they get to sit together and play with his toy cars on the floor in silence before psaltarian is called back to the party again.
- psaltarian’s family is still very much baptist and have no goddamn clue what he’s gotten himself into soooo when the holidays come around, he’s still expected on christmas. now that he has a family of his own this includes training little cardi that there will be absolutely no satan-talk or any mention of their church whatsoever because psaltarian and marika are aware that he’s the most likely to slip up. cardi nods along, very confused because the church basically rules every moment of their lives (sunday and saturday mass, preschool studies in the ministry daycare, alternating mondays and thursdays when marika leads prayer). by some miracle, cardi does a wonderful job avoiding these topics (with a little bit of nudging and intense stares from his parents) with his grandparents. except he is doing TOO well because he is stressing himself out and getting upset when he can’t ask anyone to grab some of his favorite appetizer because it’s a “bad word.” after a plethora of guesses from everyone just assuming he’s too little to verbalize it or forgot the word, cardi finally breaks down. deviled eggs. he just wanted his deviled eggs but he didn’t want to disappoint mama and papa by breaking his promise of no satan-talk.
- the official move to california was really stressful on little cardi and marika for obvious reasons. she was grateful to be closer to psaltarian and part of this new chapter of the ministry’s history but with the language changes, being away from the brunt of her family, and guiding cardi through it all was a lot to manage especially at that stage in his life. once a month, marika will pull him out of school to enjoy a day to themselves just like old times. they’ll go out for ice cream first, cardi enjoying his mint-chip waffle cone and marika with her cup of strawberry gelato. they sit on the benches outside of the shop (because cardi is just too messy to sit at a table) and take turns playing i spy. more often than not, it just turns into people watching and the two giggling to each other in romanian about it.
- because of his role in the clergy, psaltarian doesn’t get to spend much time with cardi. to tiny cardi, the gap in their relationship is painstakingly noticeable. despite having younger siblings himself, psaltarian just gets incredibly awkward and unsure of how to handle little cardi at times. the rare bonding moments they do have most often happen when marika is away, some business trip or another (committing felonies with sister imperator) that cuts her out of the picture and gives them a chance to interact in a non-staged way. they can only handle so many father/son bonding days set up by marika before they’re both asking when they can go home. after a particularly boring day of cardi sitting around his office coloring, psaltarian suggests they go see a movie to kill some time waiting for traffic to calm down. there’s nothing much on the children’s film front and psaltarian isn’t entirely sure than he’s going to be able to sit through any of these. and then they see it: that bright yellow and pink poster for black belt jones. sure, it’s maybe a tad more mature than what marika would want her little boy to be watching but it entirely opens up a new world for psaltarian and cardi. their bonding over martial arts is just enough for psalt to put aside all the times he’s been embarrassed at the park when cardi begs to play plague pit instead of catch. it becomes their little tradition whenever marika is out of town.
- cardi is the world’s most nightmarish picky eater. many a night psaltarian and marika will be forced to sit at the table with him until bedtime, swearing that he won’t be able to leave the table until he finishes his vegetables. this is the least effective method possible and truly becomes more of a punishment for marika/psaltarian than for cardi. quick negations between cardi and one of them are frequent, hushed offers of “if you just eat one green bean and promise to finish them next time, we can both leave. okay?” neither of them realize that they’ve been falling short on discipline side of things and try to maintain that hardass facade but they just don’t have the spirit for it. at the end of the day, psaltarian could give less of a fuck if cardi doesn’t like brussel sprouts or fish jello- he knows damn well he won’t even eat it himself and doesn’t see any point punishing cardi for having tastebuds.
- re: cardi and sports. cardi so desperately wants to be an athlete, begs to be put into any sport he knows of and swears that he’ll really stick to it this time. he never does. marika gets stuck trying to train cardi (too ashamed to admit to psaltarian that they should probably just stop paying the little league fees) and it very well be her breaking point. she’s got the patience of a saint and is willing to go slow with cardi, takes the time to make sure he stops flinching every single time she tosses the ball to him and stops him from spending his time in the field picking out handfuls of grass and wild flowers. even after everything, card just doesn’t get it. his greatest success was finally hitting the ball- behind him. out of bounds. by the bag making contact with the ball was just enough for marika to burst into tears in the bleachers because she knows it’s the best she’ll get out of him.
- nightmares are a frequent occurrence and more often than not, they end with little cardi worming him way between marika and psaltarian because it’s the only way to calm him down. except, cardi has absolutely no understanding of personal space and is hogging the entire center of the bed until his ma and pa are on the verge of falling onto the floor. tiny cardi is throwing his arm over psaltarian’s face and kicking marika in the stomach while passed out, not a single care in the world until he hears someone (marika) snoring and suddenly he’s raising hell over it. he also insists on bringing the most inconvenient toys into their bed for comfort. that big teddy bear they got him for winter solstice? nope. that elephant plushie that he picked out on their trip to the zoo? nah. the giant fire truck that has working sirens and lights? obviously. psaltarian is so close to kicking cardi out but even after being poked in the eye by the fire trucks little plastic ladder, marika refuses to let her little boy grow up so soon. if that means literally losing sleep over it, so be it. they can suffer through this until cardi decides that marika’s snoring is just too bothersome and he finds some way to manage in his own bed.
young sister imperator having such a difficult time grappling her feelings for nihil because being a preacher’s daughter has done crazy things to her head and also it is unfortunately 1959. she’s so damn thankful that nihil is only around every so often and that the circus remains safe for her when nihil isn’t making her face burn and palms itch with the need to smack her for every joke and compliment sent her way. sister has never been in love before, she can’t even begin to place a name to what nihil makes her feel other than sick. and still, she misses her when she’s away. she misses nihil’s company and the way she snorts when sister trips over her own feet, the gentleness that she approaches others (her horse and nephews and sister imperator. that’s it.) with. it isn’t nihil’s fault that she makes sister dizzy when she’s around, like she’s high off of her energy and hanging onto her every word like she’s desperate for another hit- well, maybe it is nihil’s fault. the constant touching is appropriate on paper, taking heavy objects from sister’s hands and gripping her forearm for support when shifting the load, a palm pressed against her shoulder when sister backs out of the ring and almost races back into the equipment. she’s just being helpful and it doesn’t mean anything. right?
the dynamic is different when they make it back to the romanian abbey for winter. for the first time since she’s met her, nihil looks proper. hair combed and slicked back beneath her veil, her black habit managing to be tight around her chest and arms even with all the extra fabric they’re made with to maintain some hint of anonymity. more than once sister catches herself staring at the outline of her biceps when sitting on the pew behind the family during mass, so lost in thought that she forgets to follow along the prayers that she’s meant to be learning. nihil doesn’t mind though. during the moments of silent prayer she makes sure to kick terzo in the shin as she turns to face sister, face lit up in a crooked smile because she already knows that sister’s eyes won’t be closed in focus- she’s felt her stare over the course of the hour, stomach all light with some sort of giddy hope. throughout the cold months and countless trials, nihil is still sweet on her. she’s been tasked with familiarizing sister with their faith and she is taking it very seriously. by seriously, nihil means that she will be spending as much time alone with sister pouring over the same shitty bible she’s had since she turned 13 just to hear imperator repeat every verse and prayer that nihil tells her to (not that it goes without a fight). she knows it’s hard for sister for reasons that the girl won’t explain to her and that’s alright, she wouldn’t pry. nihil tells her all of her old tricks, how she manages to look busy during adoration and liturgy, midnight mass and every other event that happens at a time of day that she really could not care to devote herself to. sister smiles and recounts her own experiences with it, how when she was little she’d say the alphabet backwards instead of following along with the choir and all the time she spent kicking the underside of the pew when the people in front of her talked too loud. for the first time, it isn’t nerves that eat her up when nihil is around but an overwhelming familiarity. it feels like she’s known nihil her entire life.
their first kiss is instinctual. there’s nothing planned about it, no real sense of acknowledgment when they fall into each other- it just feels right. it’s supposed to happen. nihil sneaks sister imperator around during rituals, takes her through attic crawl spaces and storage rooms just for a glimpse into what her life could be like if she went through with her vows, if she stayed with nihil’s family like they desperately want her to. the orgies, the sacrifices, the countless performances which seem more like entrainment than worship to her but make nihil’s eyes light up like she’s seeing something holy that sister isn’t. it’s dirty and messy and it makes her feel more human than she has in years- not just the rituals but sneaking around with nihil too. it’s exciting having a secret that doesn’t make her ache, her hand clasped in nihil’s while she’s guided through messes of retired chapel equipment and forgotten relics. kneeling beside nihil taking turns peeping through a crack in an aged brick wall, she feels alive. when her hand falls from the wall and reaches out to make sure nihil is still there, she cant let go of the hand that nihil offers her in return. the humming of the ritual beyond the wall is nothing but a low drone, only the sound of her own blood rushing in her ears and the combined noise of their ragged breathing. sister moves first. it’s undefined and more hesitant than she’d like it to be, eyes clenched shut like she’s scared to see nihil’s reactions when she presses their mouths together. god nihil doesn’t move for five, ten seconds and her heart is going to tear a hole right through her chest with the way it’s beating so hard. but then it happens. it all hits nihil at once, breaking out of her shock and unbridled joy and finally remembering that she has a job to do. she wraps an arm around sister’s waist, dusty hands brushing against her pure white habit as she pulls her closer and kisses her back like she’s dreamt of doing for the past year.
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Apart from Romanian food, what is Marika's favourite cuisine (maybe separate cuisines for home cooking and date nights with Psaltarian?)
this became an exploration of marika's relationship with food as a whole so! cw: disordered eating mentions
given all the traveling she's done in her life, marika is entirely open to any foods she comes across. in her youth it's a bit more rocky because of her very Very strict diet thanks to weight expectations set and managed by her parents (she loves her family but it’s the 50s and they’re in a cult, the dynamic isn’t entirely ideal) which determines whether she is going to make it into the show. combine that with religious fasting and her relationship with food is not the best to say in the least.
that being said, marika still enjoys the foods from everywhere she visits! the circus primarily tours throughout eastern europe so she’s already familiar and accustomed to a lot of the slavic dishes in the busy cities they visit while touring. when visiting nihil in the parisian seminary, she is making a few extra stops around the city to enjoy various cheeses. she loves a good charcuterie board/spread mostly because of the social aspect of snacking which becomes even more important to her in her later years after the time spent away from her family (very much raised to be a good host). other than that, she gets to “splurge” during the winters when they return to the romanian abbey and gets to enjoy her family’s foods to the full extend for at least the first half of the season before she needs to pursue training seriously again.
home/family meals tend to vary by night because they take turns cooking! this was mostly suggested and enforced by marika because she is a #modernwoman so she/psalt split chores relatively evenly. then more importantly, marika grew up taking turns preparing meals with her siblings/the troupe/abbey (communal meals as shown in vol. 2) and she wants cardi to experience that too! marika tends to stick to traditional foods she grew up with (comfort foods for both her and cardi when they’re feeling particularly homesick) but she also happens to be a big fan of making whatever the fuck is in their cabinets. she LOVES a savory jello dish thanks to similar dishes she grew up with. however, seeing that gelatin mold put out on the counter is an instant day-ruiner for cardi and psalt. though her diet practices aren’t anywhere near as rigid as they were in her performing days, most of the meals she prepares tend to be very high in protein.
when it comes to ordering takeout, thai food is the go-to for marika. she is one of two emeritus’ that can actually handle spice (secondo and terzo both swear up and down that they love spicy foods too but they are red in the face the moment it hits their tongues) and enjoys a gaeng kiew wan along with other curries, which she will be eating the family serving of (it’s a special treat okay). they live in california so, naturally, mexican cuisine is in their regular rotations as well which she doesn’t mind but definitely doesn’t enjoy it to the extent that cardi does (that boy will fuck up an enchilada like nobody’s business). at the influence of her own cultural dishes, marika fucking LOVES stew and usually goes for birria because it tends to be available at most of the (admittedly americanized) restaurants they dine at, although she prefers pozole rojo.
date nights tend to be steakhouses, higher end places where they can splurge and more importantly enjoy the atmosphere because they tend to stick around for hours. as unfortunate as that may be for their server, marika makes sure to sneak a few extra bills beneath their cheque to cover psaltarian’s more performance-based tipping system. marika, usually bored of her protein goals by this point, opts for a simple pasta dish or soup on the nights that she doesn’t split a plate with psaltarian (although you can guarantee they will be swapping bites from each other’s plates no matter what). now, older marika has developed a prominent sweet tooth after a youth mostly deprived of sugar so dessert is a must when they go out. she’ll usually go for any sort of chocolate cakes available (à la mode of course) but also enjoys custard-based treats like flan or crème brûlée on the nights that she doesn’t want something “too sweet.”
Last day of June is still Pride Month, and also every month can be pride month if you want it to, so here's a Ghost post after forever!!
This art is dedicated to my beloved mutual @barelydaisy and all the silly fun and juicy posts about Era 0 over on their Ghost sideblog @gogodollie. Specifically this post for Marika and Sister dancing together during the circus days and this post for how Nihil and Psaltarian could have met back in the day. Thanks for supporting every art post I make on this blog mutual ily <3 sry I lowkey didn't have patience to draw a background lol 😭
marika wasn’t worried for the bloodline when she realized cardi was gay because she had already learned from her dear brother primo that you don’t need to like women to produce children🩷
What if I said the bob was trans woman Nihil's first attempt at presenting feminine and immediately everyone bullied her for it
fuckkkkk this fucking circus man nihil’s older brothers will be cross dressing for their clown act and then call HER the faggot for growing her hair out. we can’t have anything nice apparently. their satanic church itself is not transphobic and actively preaches against the gender binary BUT things get murky when the bloodline comes into play- at least to papa -1 it makes all the difference between success and happiness. that doesn’t keep baby transfem nihil from clutching her baphomet sigil necklace and praying for a sign though.
aside from nihil’s family being less than kind to her (many such cases), the important thing here is that NIHIL LOVES HER BIG SISTER!!!!!! nihil deciding to grow her hair out in the same style and fashion as marika because she wants to be just like her big sister💔 and marika finally getting the sister she’s always wanteddddd which does mean holding nihil down for manicures (nihil doesn’t have the patience for them but marika won’t stand for raggedy dirty nail beds in her circus)
novice sister imperator who’s recently gotten closer with nihil (in her standoffish way which only allows nihil to ask her one personal question per day) having a general sense that something is Different about nihil that makes him more tolerable than the other brothers and men of the circus. it takes a few weeks (and then some) before things finally click for sister and before nihil even knows it herself, she comes to find a spare habit and veil laid out on her bed. certainly isn’t suspicious that marika had shown sister imperator the garment storage earlier in the week to prepare for her vows……..
baby faced teen nihil sneaking into his big brother’s tent in the middle of the night per his usual cigarette stealing routine (he cycles through his siblings’ trunks every other day so that there’s a short period of time between the last missing cigarette). primo is face down in bed, ass up and deforesting entire fucking continents with how loud he’s snoring while his latest girlfriends are tucked against each side of him. nihil very briefly gets distracted trying not to laugh out loud at the very frog-like shape of primo’s ass, which he knows he will have to refrain from joking about the next morning at breakfast because obviously he knows primo will skin him alive if he finds out about the dozens of cigarettes that he’s stolen over the years. he then proceeds to forget his mission when his useless teenage boy brain shifts to the naked woman in the room and he stares open mouthed for a solid minute because nihil is god’s weakest soldier and a hint of boob is a lot for him at this time. eventually he snaps out of it and makes out with TWO whole cigarettes for his troubles, which he will be sharing with the current love of his life: a trapeze artist who is going to leave him for his gay artsy brother in about 30 minutes.
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hello gogodollie here certified marika/psaltarian warrior who saw your post about them fucking old people style AND i also saw your post about soft cocks… and basically…. older psaltarian with erectile dysfunction from his high blood pressure is very Very real to me. and lord you know marika is on that shit STILL nothing is stopping her from appreciating her husband whether that little blue pill is there to help or not
SO TRUEEEEEE
These elderly fucks Love and Fuck each other soso much. They love every deep wrinkle and every bit of sagging skin on each other's aged bodies, and they've had a long time to learn each other's needs and how they've changed as they got older. I'm kicking my feet imagining them after a long day's work lazily undressing each other (esp Psalty undoing Marika's hair and letting it fall long and gorgeous on her chest and shoulders) and going down on each other for a while to unwind. Urg I really need to draw themmm
I also think Mr Psaltarian likes an occasional pegging
