Goggles

hey, I was just at "things got better" island and everyone there is talking about how excited they are to meet you

I'm trying to take the high road but I'm like, dragging myself bleeding and sobbing along the high road while looking so so longingly at the low road

#AND that fucker taking the low road is going to get to Scotland afore me. very annoying.

a CRITTER? Carrying a BERRY?? Across a BRAMBLE VINE?????

I love that thing when people get a little bit tongue-tied and garble what they’re trying to say so they make a little “blegh” 👅 noise and start over. verbal reset button. hitting the top of the tv to unscramble the signal

I hope I'm not just a blogger to you but someone who keeps making you add new terms to your content filtering because my tastes are somewhat dire and yet whom you still refuse to unfollow

Your 30’s are for no longer giving a fuck. Go live your life the way you’ve always wanted to.

Companies deleting media you've literally purchased is 1000x more realistically "stealing" than digital piracy, you cannot change my mind

Kim Possible was like I’m an extremely adept martial arts fighter and world hero and this is my sidekick Ron who comes along because he’s my best friend and I like him

I can't fuck with people who are fundamentally uncurious.

I also can't fuck with people who are fundamentally unkind.