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@godmarkd
ㅤ Etsi ja tuhoa!
ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤIndependent ✴ Selective ✴ Headcanon-Based ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ Emre Sarioglu from Overwatch ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Loved by Spacy
A study in: military obedience, going too far, hubris as a downfall, the ship of theseus, clutching to humanity, rediscovering family, following orders, a squeeze of a rifle trigger, and an epic identity crisis.
Sideblog, follows back from @chronal-anomaly.
Carrd
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@mercymedic asked:
"i... emre...? wha... where-" her vision blurs, the vision of emre spreading out into twos, threes. she startles at the sensation of being picked up.
"Easy, doctor, eyes on me." The doctor's frame was light, easily slung between two arms that imitated sturdy branches of a tree. Heat brushed against his back as he shielded her body from rubble of the library building that was standing only minutes ago. Around them, bodies lay in the dust of the rubble, some of them screaming, and some of them laying eerily still as the debris settled.
They didn't stop Emre, though, feet taking off in a jog that edged on a sprint, weaving through stacks of groaning wreckage around them. The promise of a secondary collapsed lingered in the smog, and other bystanders had started the hasty evacuation process.
Emre skidding around a corner, ankle twisting with the force of keeping the two of them on track. Two blocks over, a medical tent had already been set up in anticipation for the attack. They just had to get there before trouble found them.
"Don't try to move too much. You took some rebar to the head, might have an head injury. Just stay with me."
Hannibal (2001) Sentences
(Sentences from Hannibal (2001). Adjust phrasing where needed)
"So, I take it you've seen the coverage in the papers and on television?"
"Look, I'm here to help you. It's going to be a lot harder to do with a combative attitude."
"I wasn't speaking to you. When I speak to you, you'll know it because I'll look at you."
"Maybe you're incapable of being happy."
"It's perfectly au naturel to want to taste the enemy."
"What is your worst memory of childhood?"
"Aren't you curious about why he dines on his victims?"
"People don't always tell you what they're thinking. They just see to it you don't advance in life."
"I prefer to stay involved to make sure that things go right."
"I must confess to you that I am giving very serious thought to eating your wife."
"Someday you'll thank me, or you won't. I don't care; you'll be alive."
"They don't like you because you're not like them. They hate you and they envy you."
"Are you by any chance trying to trace my whereabouts?"
"What if I harmed the ones who have harmed you? What if I made them scream apologies?"
"You were very, very warm. You were so close."
"Why don't you kill him? You could always say that it was me."
"What have you got in your hand? Something to bash me over the head with?"
"I don't think that's a good idea. Not with the morphine."
"Now you're being rude, and I hate rude people."
"I assure you, the next course is to die for."
"If you can't keep up with the conversation, better not to join in at all."
"Given the chance, you would deny me my life, wouldn't you?"
"Would they give you a medal, do you think? Would you have it professionally framed? Hang it on your wall to look at and remind you of your courage and incorruptibility?"
"Tell me, would you ever say 'stop' to me?"
"You're a very unusual boy, aren't you?"
"It is important to always try new things."
"emre..." even here, in the thick of it, angela manages a calm voice. she can see that emre is getting frustrated, that his voice is climbing - and the last thing she wants or needs is the inconvenience of someone overhearing and entering the room. she takes a slow, steady breath to keep herself grounded, lets a moment pass before she responds.
despite what her intuition has been telling her, angela doesn't actually know what wrongs are being committed. she was fired from blackwatch years ago (something she still cannot fully sit with). anything she can speculate about comes down to the increasingly frequent arguments between jack and reyes. arguments that only she's been privy to, yet can gather nothing from, can do nothing about.
angela sighs, lowers her eyes to the floor.
jack morrison will come back - he always does. and though the time between each return has only stretched, she knows that he would never simply walk away from overwatch. not when it's as much as a promise to himself as it is to the world.
what would he have left?
"i am needed here," she says, quietly.
"i cannot simply leave, emre... i can't."
Floors above them, another war broke out, weapons hidden behind raised voices and slammed papers. The entire base was simmering with threat, some unspoken thing formulated by bent rules and illicit teams, troubles in illegality by the world's largest peacekeeping force. There was something big coming down this pipeline, and Emre wasn't about to stick around to find out what it was.
"You are needed everywhere. You're needed in those war-torn hospitals, in the refugee camps. Here, they are taking advantage of you, stealing everything they can to feed this damn machine." His voice slid to a hiss, only to chase an octave as his point strengthened. "Overwatch isn't what is was when we started. And the faster you realize that, the cleaner the break will be."
He followed her around the medbay, pacing boots making a clean crisp sound against the tile flooring. If secrecy was Angela's goal, Emre certainly wasn't mirroring her desire.
"I'm trying to help you, Angela, please."
🐝 * ― 𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑵𝑮/𝑩𝑬𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑳𝑬𝑭𝑻 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.
BEING LEFT ❛ wait! you can't just leave me here alone! ❜ ❛ i don't know how to live in a world where i'm all alone. ❜ ❛ everyone i've ever loved has either left or died. ❜ ❛ i'm not yet ready for it to end. ❜ ❛ will we ever see each other again? ❜ ❛ please! you promised! you promised you'd never leave. ❜ ❛ if you leave now, i'll never forgive you. ❜ ❛ are you really going to leave after everything we've been through? ❜ ❛ how am i supposed to keep on like before when you're not here anymore? ❜ ❛ i knew this day would come, but i hoped it wouldn't be today. ❜ ❛ please don't go. not yet. just stay a little longer ... ❜ ❛ don't just walk away. say something, anything, before you go. ❜ ❛ so that's it? you're just ... gone? ❜ ❛ you can't just walk away like none of this meant anything! ❜ ❛ why does everyone i love always leave? ❜ ❛ i should've known better than to think you'd stay. ❜ ❛ is it really that easy for you to walk away? ❜ ❛ you said we'd face the world together. now i have to face it alone. ❜ ❛ if you're going, at least look me in the eyes and say goodbye. ❜ ❛ i don't have the strength to watch you walk away again. ❜
LEAVING ❛ i'm sorry, but i cannot stay here any longer. ❜ ❛ for once, i'm trying to do the right thing. ❜ ❛ you don't need me here anymore. you've always been stronger on your own. ❜ ❛ i wish staying was enough. i really do. ❜ ❛ don't look at me like that. if i don't walk away now, i never will. ❜ ❛ one day, you'll understand why i have to walk away. ❜ ❛ i wish i could stay, but this isn't my place anymore. ❜ ❛ don't wait for me. i don't know when ... if i'll be back. ❜ ❛ i wish there was another way. but there isn't. ❜ ❛ this isn't goodbye because i don't care. it's because i do. too much. ❜ ❛ this goodbye is the hardest thing i've ever had to do. ❜ ❛ i'm leaving because i love you too much to keep hurting you. ❜ ❛ i'm sorry i couldn't be what you needed me to be. ❜ ❛ i have to go find who i am without all this. ❜ ❛ just because i'm leaving doesn't mean i stopped caring. ❜ ❛ i'm not running. i'm just done waiting. ❜ ❛ every step i take away from here is breaking me. ❜ ❛ i can't keep pretending this place feels like home. ❜ ❛ the hardest part isn't leaving. it's knowing you'll be here when i'm not. ❜ ❛ sometimes goodybe is the kindest thing we can say. ❜
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You ever think about Emre the boogyman? Emre the demon? Emre the one who goes bump in the night? The way stories erupt about a beast that flies into the air, about a gun that glows, manifests itself over his shoulder. You're not even human to others, killer, god son, beast of burden
@godmarkd asked: "Well, despite your voluntold position here, you seem to be settling in just fine."
" There's no point in freaking out about it everyday, i'd get nothing done and more than likely, i'll get in trouble for it. " she places a test tube back in it's place among the others before wandering over to one of the three enclosures in her lab. she slid open the glass door and reached in slowly, petting the king cobra that rested curled up inside.
" I've told myself that; as long as i do my job, everything will be alright. but what about you? are you doing okay? "
Emre settled easily, if a bit heavily, atop a somewhat cleared table as far away from the rows of enclosures that lined the room. It wasn't that Emre was afraid of her snakes, but would prefer to keep his distance from the not-so-cuddly creatures.
"I have to say, you've done well setting up this whole lab already. Would hate to see the order log for the displays." He gestured toward the enclosures, lenses flicking to them easily. There was something eerie in knowing that if he were to flip to the heat-seeking view, the snakes would barely blip.
"Oh, as well as anyone. Any port in a storm, right? Besides, s'not like I can go anywhere else, so this works."
@mercymedic
angela looks incredulous; it's hard to tell how much of it is genuine and how much of it is her playing into the bit. emre can't even stand, much less leave - besides, he most definitely does not have a box of swiss chocolates conveniently in his inventory. "mr. sarıoğlu," she puts a hand to her chest, fingers delicately ghosting along the labels of her lab coat, "you wouldn't be suggesting i commit... medical negligence, would you?" it takes everything in her not to crack a smile, though she's sure that the pain meds are keeping emre's mind more than occupied. still, she busies herself with adjusting the iv at the side of his bed, and she considers that maybe he needs a higher dose. "ja, i couldn't do that to my favorite patient."
Favorite patient? You flatter me." Emre allowed his neck to loosen, to roll back toward Angela. Despite the haze that clouded his eyes, some light faded under the drugs, there was a spark of mischief somewhere in there.
"C'mon, doctor, there has to be some trouble in there somewhere. Are you really going to keep me here over something so simple as a bullet?" Or two, or three. Recollection was hard through the ocean of painkillers.
"They're the good chocolates. They're right here -" Emre patted his chest, as if searching through a jacket pocket. When the thin hospital gown yielded nothing, he frowned, lines cratering deep across his pale face. "They were right here. Where's my jacket?"
@mercymedic:
angela makes some sound of acknowledgement but doesn't actually give emre her full attention. her eyes are half-lid and unamused at his chart, eyeing all the nurses' notes (there are a lot of notes - ), and wondering how insufferable he must have been to earn so many. commander morrison is sure to turn this repeated offense of 'medical disobedience' into a briefing one of these days, and while angela thinks this team needs to hear it, she would much rather be doing other things than losing an hour in the conference room. like her job. "clearly not high enough on top if you're asking why," she says matter-of-factly, turning to face him, clipboard falling into the holder on the side of his bed. annoyance pinches the corner of her eyes as she smiles. "now, mr. sarıoğlu," her gesture at him to return to the bed might as well be a quiet threat, "i really insist you lay back down. having to re-do stitches can be quite painful."
A cool expression met her, despite the bruise beginning to purple beneath his eye and a crust of blood that had evaded the wipe of a matted towel on the transport home. The angry raise of fevered skin beneath contaminated stitches peeked from the tattered remains of his compression shirt, speaking ill gained wins of a combat knife fight. They would ensure he wouldn't bleed out on the way home, but not much of a guarantee beyond that.
"Oh, you know me, Doctor Ziegler. I can handle a bit of pain." His body was languid, relaxed, despite the awkward pull of trapped skin between remnants of his haphazard sewing skills.
"Maybe I know why. Maybe I just like to hear you explain it." His teeth flashed into a grin as he settled onto the bed, his long legs hanging over the ledge. "You know, Doctor, you make a scowl for too long, it'll stick like that."
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young Emre smells... so good
Something in my senses wasn’t working. An interruption of feeling, of feelings. Sometimes I abandoned myself to it, at times I was frightened. Those words, for example: I didn’t know how to find answers to the question marks, every possible answer seemed absurd. I was lost in the where am I, in the what am I doing. I was mute beside the why. This I had become in the course of a night. Maybe, I didn’t know when, after protesting, after resisting for months, I had seen myself in those books and I was in bad shape, definitively broken. A broken clock that, because its metal heart continued to beat, was now breaking the time of everything else.
Elena Ferrante, tr. by Ann Goldstein, from The Days of Abandonment
This was the reality that I was about to discover, behind the appearance of so many years. I was already no longer I, I was someone else, as I had feared since waking up, as I had feared since who knows when. Now any resistance was useless, I was lost just as I was laboring with all my strength not to lose myself, I was no longer there, at the entrance to my house, in front of the reinforced door, coming to grips with that disobedient key. I was only pretending to be there, as in a child’s game.
Elena Ferrante, tr. by Ann Goldstein, from The Days of Abandonment
There were always concessions. Little self-betrayals of one's values and virtues and morals, the thousand ways everyone cut against their convictions in order to get things done. That was the real crux of modernity. The extractive cost required to make any kind of progress. No matter what you did or sought to do, the cost was always a little bit of yourself.
Brandon Taylor, from Minor Black Figures
@mercymedic asked:
how did we get so old?
"Old? You? You still look like you're twenty eight, doc." Emre's tone was light, easy, as he plunked down a second beer on the small table between them. "Think if they shoved you in a Mercy lookalike competition, they'd disqualify you for not looking close enough."
It was partially true - the nanobots were a beautiful thing, repairing that which should have killed all them many times over. But even their impossible power couldn't reprise the golden hair lost to the grays, couldn't iron out the wrinkles chasmed by stress and war and the loss of everything and everyone you once loved.
Emre sat down next to her, back clacking a dull sound as the spinal implants tapped against the plastic.
"You miss 'em?" Came the question, rhetorical in nature but an open door to the memories gathered for reminiscent. He glanced over at her, a gesture wide to an empty stage. Tell me your thoughts, the look in his eyes said, let me hold them to the light.
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Emre takes up woodworking in a world where he gets to grow old and pick a hobby
✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.
₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.
[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?
