Drama Love

Note: I'm not very familiar with the hukou system, officially known as the huji system, which is the household registration system that is used in China but have read the wiki page on it for some understanding. This system dates back to ancient China and not only records members of a family but also splits families into agricultural and non-agricultural hukou - commonly referred to as rural and urban hukou as part of social policy. (wiki page)

The Bei family is a clearly fairly wealthy family from the capital while the Lu family is a much poorer family from a smaller city. The difference in levels of wealth is directly contrasted by the back-to-back shots of the Bei family's car driving off with Xiao Fan and them arriving back home where the Bei family's household staff awaits them.

One of the ways that the hukou was used for social policy was that it restricted migration to regulate population distribution so that urban areas would not be overcrowded and rural areas would be underpopulated. These restrictions were loosened in the 1980s, which resulted in a large number of rural residents trying to seek jobs in cities and make money that wouldn't be possible to make in their rural hometowns. However, these rural migrants found that urban residents were favoured in employment opportunities. This is perhaps why Xiao Fan's mother tells him to ask his father-in-law to write his brother a recommendation letter for a job in the capital.

There are several reasons why Xiao Fan marrying into the Bei family goes against reason and custom.

One is because traditionally, the older brother must marry before his young brother. Another is that Xiao Fan is being made to marry into the Bei family, which is known as ruzhui.

In fact, the explanation on Wikipedia on ruzhui is exactly what happens in the show:

The custom of ruzhui (入贅) applied when a relatively wealthy family had no male heirs, and a poorer family had multiple male children. Under these circumstances, a male from the poorer family, generally a younger sibling, will marry into the wealthier family in order to continue their family line. In a ruzhui (lit., 'the [man] becoming superfluous') marriage, the children would take on the surname of the wife. (wiki page)

In the case of ruzhui marriage, a younger son will marry into a wealthier family and his children will carry his wife's family's surname because the older son is expected to have children who will inherit their family's surname, thus ensuring the continuity of their family. Not only does Xiao Fan have to marry into the Bei family, the reason that the Bei family has chosen Xiao Fan because Lv Xin is pregnant and for her and her family's reputation, she must have a husband. This means that the Lu family will be forced to acknowledge that child as Xiao Fan's even though it isn't his. (wiki page)

By looking for a less well-to-do family, the wealthier Bei family is able to offer them financial incentives (the dowry for Xiao Fan) and connections that the Lu family would never have otherwise. However, in exchange, the Lu family is expected to accept that their second son's children will carry the surname of the Bei family and crudely put, the dowry essentially acts as a sort of payment for Xiao Fan.

What fascinates me about the set up of Bittersweet Love is that Xiao Fan marries into the Bei family and takes on all of the roles that a wife who has married into a family would be expected to do, from cooking to sleeping with the son of the family. On Xiao Fan's wedding night, Lv Xin kicks him out of their nuptial chamber and he ends up sharing a bed with Lv Qing who technically does get Xiao Fan wet and naked that night.

Xiao Fan comes to the conclusion that to secure his position in the Bei family, he must show that he can contribute to it and does exactly that by taking on the role of a woman who has married into a family. In that way, Lv Qing functions as a way for Xiao Fan to stay in the family. Since Lv Xin has no interest or use for Xiao Fan, Xiao Fan realises that he needs to keep the good will and interest of Lv Qing so that his situation is less precarious. He can no longer return to his family because he must be the son-in-law of the Bei family for his and his family's sake. While it seems that Xiao Fan has a docile character, part of why he acts that way might be for self preservation. If he were to do things that upset the Bei family, his position in their family might be in danger.

Unfortunately, I was unable to find out what happens in the possibility of ruzhui divorce so I can't bring up the consequences of divorce for Xiao Fan and how that influences his decisions.

What a pity. I'm afraid I won't be able to have soup tonight.

In particular, I'm fascinated by the matriarch of the family. There is so little about her to go off but just the small amount of information the show provides about her is enough to make me think. We don't even know her name and she only appears in one scene but it's enough to get some understanding of her and how she influences the other characters in the Bei family.

In Chinese culture, the head of the household usually sits at the table. Usually, that person is the father. However in the only scene so far that both parents appear, they are seated at the table and the mother sits at the head of table, which suggests the unusual arrangement where she is the head of the Bei household.

So far, we've only seen Lv Qing and his mother sit at that spot, so it may be that the seat is usually taken by the person with the highest position in the family who is at home at that time. Notably, even when Lv Qing isn't expected at dinner with the Lu family, Lv Xin doesn't sit there, possibly because of her awkward position as a child resulting from her mother's affair.

Bei Mo Sha (the father of Lv Qing) handles the household matters, while his wife is not seen doing them, which is unusual because traditionally in Chinese culture, women are in charge of the household and these tasks would usually fall upon the mother. Even Lv Xin's wedding doesn't seem to be important enough for her to attend and her only appearance in the show so far has been to talk to Lv Qing about the job that he will be taking up after graduation.

Despite the affair that their mother has, which resulted in Lv Xin's birth, the Bei parents are still together, suggesting one of two, or even both possibilities: Their union is necessary for both of them; divorce will not benefit either of them. The other possibility being that their mother's position in the family is strong enough that even with an affair and child who is the product of that affair, the marriage has continued and Bei Mo Sha has chosen to put up with the shame and anger of his wife cheating on him and to the public, the child is his.

During the only appearance with the parents, it is made clear that their jobs may contribute to the tension between the pair. The mother has apparently dodgy business(es) while the father, appears to be an official, thus he ought to be keeping his hands clean. Both of them seem to look down on the other's job and what they can provide for their son.

In a conversation with Lv Qing, Wen Xi questions how Xiao Fan is going to be strong enough to deal with Lv Qing's mother and that Lv Qing has been going behind his mother's back to gain the power he thinks is necessary to be able to do as he likes without her interference.

😲😲😲😲

This 100,000 dollars should be enough to buy Lu Xiao Fan, shouldn't it?

这10万块钱够买路小凡了吧

😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

THAT'S 50 TIMES THE BRIDE PRICE THAT THE LU FAMILY GOT FOR XIAO FAN'S MARRIAGE WITH LV XIN!!!

from the opening scene, it feels like Luqing and Xiaofan are already on different pages. while Luqing is giving 'domestic' vibes, Xiaofan's pensive and stiff demeanor is almost giving 'transactional'. Xiaofan clearly still doesn't know where he stands with Luqing or what he means to Luqing, and he spends this episode keeping himself in line.

which is hard to do when he's receiving mixed signals. like Luqing making his new home look exactly like the old one, the one that Xiaofan decorated.

@hughungrybear mentioned in this post that in the novel, after that first time skip, Xiaofan noticed Luqing hadn't changed anything at all about his home, even though he'd supposedly been dating Wenxi (and, you know, it'd been three years). I'm not sure if the drama is incorporating that detail in here or if we're supposed to believe this man left the old home unchanged and then renovated his new one to keep every remnant of Xiaofan that he could, but if I were Xiaofan I would be Unwell and Confused lmao.

and yet, even with this blatant show of attachment, Luqing struggles to express how he feels with words.

which is. a problem for them lmao. like, tell me why this is the third time Luqing is giving a key to his home to Xiaofan and Xiaofan still doesn't know why he's there or what this key signifies. why is Xiaofan having to play a guessing game to figure out why Luqing is giving him a key at all?

what I liked about this scene is that Xiaofan is finally asking though.

Xiaofan: Is there anything you want me to buy for you? Or something you need me to get? Should I help make a spare key? You want to give me a key? Ge, there’s no need. I’m always available. No need for a key. Luqing: Lu Xiao Fan. Don’t think your ass is that valuable.

in general, Xiaofan is more communicative and firm than he used to be. Luqing may not have changed much — he's still avoidant, hoping his actions speak loud enough to make up for his lack of words — but Xiaofan is changing. it's part of the tension in this episode, of what's making this situation feel so untenable.

what Xiaofan wants has changed in the last two years. he wants something different, maybe something better, for himself when it comes to his family and the role he's been made to play. he wants to protect himself from being discarded (again) by Luqing. (I loved the movie watching scene in this episode for encapsulating that.)

but the thing is, as much as Xiaofan wants to protect himself, he's also unable to completely let go of Luqing. and it's not just the fact that they're complicatedly tied due to their families. it's evidenced by the scarf he took with him (that he hasn't worn once in front of Luqing). and by the fact that, when forced to choose between protecting himself with distance and potentially never experiencing closeness with Luqing again, he chooses closeness with Luqing.

Xiaofan: Then… I’ll bring the congee tomorrow morning. Luqing: If you dare to leave today, don’t bother coming back tomorrow. Xiaofan: Then I… I’ll move in this weekend.

even still, Xiaofan is growing and changing, as Luqing wanted for him. Luqing wanted Xiaofan to think for himself, to have bigger aspirations, to want more for himself. when Xiaofan turned down the opportunity for higher education, Luqing saw the way to motivate Xiaofan to pursue it was through familial obligation and duty. when Xiaofan fed insider information about wheat stock prices to his family, Luqing's response was an exasperated request for Xiaofan to have more ambition. and when Luqing's dad asked him what they should do about Xiaofan's job after he graduated, Luqing said, "I think we should respect his decision. He is a man of his own mind."

so now that Xiaofan is starting to speak his mind more often, will Luqing be able to keep up and change with him?

Fan Fan. I want congee.

but i still don't think we're talking enough about just how much this show is doing or how well it's doing it. i know i'm no expert, but there are qualities and conversations here rare to see in any bl and deeply surprising to me from china

i'm going to sound like a broken record but the intentionality of every single part of the cinematography, coloring, and framing sets it apart from most chinese bl thus far which, while deeply beloved, often show signs of rushed production and post. (there are, of course, existing exceptions to this, but to my understanding they lean towards the queer coming of age subgenre, while Deep In is deeply entrenched in china's signature webnovel-inspired problematic lunacy and still doing it this well)

there's not a single moment that has felt like an awkward transition, or lost context through a scene cut short, or seperate takes noticeably spliced. i can't say exactly how closely it's following the novel, but it's certainly excelled at the aspect of adaptation which is fitting something to the screen and making choices around what is vital for the audience and how to transfer that to a visual medium

but okay, not everything is about visual or technical quality. so let's take a moment to acknowledge that none of what is being conveyed would be possible or meaningful without the exceptional acting, from Ollie and Shu Yuan and the rest. and i really mean exceptional. the care that they have taken and love and understanding of these characters is obvious. once more, nothing feels shallow or unconsidered

honestly i'm writing this too soon because the last few episodes could entirely prove me wrong but while the mess here is delicious, and the sex is frequent, and the dubcon is prevalent, and i, as a lover of toxic yaoi, could ask for nothing more — none of these things are for the sake of it. i'm not going to say it's portraying rape for the educational value or anything like that. this is still entertainment. but it's entertainment that acknowledges that [getting into spoilers here] orgasm doesn't mean pleasure, and STDs exist, and (if i'm right about where we're heading) the distance between fucking your crush who's blackout drunk (and lying about it/keeping evidence) and violent sexual assault is not as far as you would think. (honestly even if we don't dig into this further, the parallels are already there, for those paying attention)

this is getting long and i really haven't touched on half of what i meant to, so let me try to quickfire some other things i appreciate the portrayal of:

- the weird industry double standard between filming something gay and actually being gay (i know some people are very upset about how this was handled with a specific minor character, which i understand, but with everything else in this show being so intentional and self-referential, i'm giving the benefit of the doubt that it was a purposeful critique)

- related, the meta commentary on shipping and rpf, which it looks like we'll be really getting into next episode. but even up to this point we've seen invasive fans and interviews and the unfortunate importance of public perception, even on the production process itself

- women!! or, okay, woman. we're not doing that much. but by god is she a most excellent example of agency and awesomeness in a bl girlfriend, who are usually sidelined and disparaged

- casual sex, sexual discovery, and men being men. this one might be more of a personal preference, and it's certainly over the top how much these gays are willing to put on the line for the chance to flirt. but hey, i've known one or two who really are that horny. more seriously though, sex-before-feelings or with-repressed-feelings or as-a-quick-trip-to-realizing-you-like-men are all things i love to see portrayed. and yeah, sue me, i'm glad that the lust hasn't slacked off now that love is involved, that's always an annoyance

- on that note, despite two of them being "straight" at the start, we haven't fallen into gay-for-you or i-can't-possibly-be-gay which i'm thankful for (the latter has a place but it's pretty tired)

- trauma-induced (co)dependency, hurting someone in an attempt to help them, begging someone to overwrite your hurt — i'm just riffing now but the inner couple are so facinating and again, the combination of an appropriately grave portrayal of terrible things and a beautifully ripe playground of dark yaoi tropes is like catnip to me

i don't think i've touched enough on the connections between our two storylines or perhaps some of the overarching motifs, but maybe someone can pick up where i left off. or possibly i could try to write something more cohesive once the show has actually concluded. we'll see

#AI DI versus Chen Yi's neck (CHEN YI version)

little one did this

big one did this

little one is guilty

actually, big one is guilty