Never posting my fanfiction. Call that AO2.

Archive Of Oneself

drunk and in love and full of food i think only the torturer eel could harm me

hello

fuck my whole entire life

why are you as an adult open-mouth coughing all over the place

good fucking morning *levitates towards you with ill intent*

recently my elderly shattered-up phone started letting me charge it to 107% which I've been using to get let's just say a little bit extra out of it on long days

added benefit that this makes it crazy warm and soft so I use it to warm up my coat when it's cold outside

Swollen batteries are incendiary explosives.

this one's just a phone

respectfully, ma'am, phone and bomb are not mutually exclusive descriptors

I'm not gatekeeping I'm just speaking from my presently lived experience

When you start speaking from your formally lived experience, be sure to let us know!

I already live every day with undue formality and noble grace

I genuinely can't tell if you're being stupid on purpose

when you feel that way it's a sign that I'm being smart

OP your phone is literally about to explode.

we've been over this, it's just puffy and I poke it with twigs when it gets too hot

kinda fucked up that im not a tv show character or like a 14 year old's oc Because i would've been really really good at that

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

play toys ?

come play toys

the prince of darkness commands you

it should be socially acceptable to roll around on the ground groaning in pain . it wouldnt help get rid of the pain but i would feel a little better about it

Hey man I’m just happy to be in this dark and scary woods with you