enjoyer of all things gay

Enemies with Benefits might is one of my favourite gls of all time. I loved it enough to resd the book and special chapters to get some more insight it Lal and Wine as characters. The more I read and watched the show, the more I grew to love and appreciate the characters and it pains me to watch them be so fundamentally misunderstood by some members of the fanbase.

In this post I'll share my understanding of the characters. It's not gospel but it is based on clearly established character traits that the narrative more or less spelt out. I'll start with Lal.

Lal is a people pleaser with a chronic case of eldest sister syndrome. From a young age she internalized the belief that she needed to be agreeable to be loved. She had to be funny, easygoing and endlessly self sacrificial to prove herself worthy of love. Its why she struggles to call out her bummy subordinates -who do become less bummy eventually, love them- opting to cover up their mistakes instead. She's always forgiving, always understanding and always accommodating. That's how she shows love. This makes her an incredible girlfriend but I can be dangerous because it makes it very easy for someone to take advantage of her kindness especially in relationships.

Next up is Wine. She believes that she is fundamentally unlovable. She craves connection but thinks she is undeserving of it so she pushes anyone away. She is extremely protective of those she cares about and she prefers to help them in quiet ways, never acknowledging her actions or taking credit for their outcomes.

When arguements arise Lal's first instinct is to apologize and take accountability even when she's right. She's cares way more about maintaining her relationship with Wine than being right or wrong. Wine knows this and it annoys her. She hates to see Lal taken advantage of which is why she's quick to question her apologies and admit when she's the one in the wrong.

This pattern is only broken when Wine believes that Lal is in danger. Then she goes to extreme levels to push Lal away. Which leads to a push and pull dynamic that isnt healthy. However, context is important, this only happened because Wine's abuser bulldozed his way back into her life and started threatening her. When LalWine are not being harassed and threatened they have great communication and resolve problems fairly quickly.

I think sapphic people might be the only group that's borderline averse to seeing their intimacy scenes represented on television or in movies. Due to men's fetishization and the fact that lesbian is still one of the most popular porn categories in the world there seems to be this idea that lesbian sex = porn or depictions of lesbian sex = fetishization. It gets to the point where grown women who claim to love women become upset at depictions of two women having sex. I find that funny.

When it comes to conversations about sex scenes in gls I think fans rush to two extremes when the conversation requires nuance. There are fans that love sex scenes and argue that any couple who does not act out sex scenes or act out"proper" sex scenes don't actually want to do gl, are uncomfortable with their couple and secretly hate gay people. Then there's people who are uncomfortable with sex scenes, think they're completely unnecessary and convince themselves that every show with a sex scene is porn or porn adjacent and its only popular because of those scenes. Actresses from those shows cant act -even though creating realistic intimacy scenes is arguably one of the most difficult forms of acting- and they're only famous for their sex/kissing scenes.

I think that sex scenes are about as necessary as any other scene depending on the story. Human beings have sex. There's nothing wrong with depicting that. I don't think every show needs a sex scene and some of the shows that have them do not need intense detailed scenes. But they are necessary in some cases. Even if they weren't they still have a right to exist. If media portrayals of lesbian sex didn't exist all we would have is lesbian porn made for straight men. I hardly think that's fair. Especially considering the fact that every other group is allowed to have similar scenes.

I see the argument that fans love of sex scenes somehow pressures actresses into doing them. I think its alot more complicated than that. I have no doubt that some actresses see fans reception to these scenes and may feel inclined to up the intensity of their scenes but I dont think fans have a meaningful way to force actresses into doing these scenes if they dont want to. Their agencies or management do and if they did that would be on them not the fans.

When it comes to these types of scenes I believe actresses should do whatever feels comfortable. If they want only kissing scenes they should do it, if they want both kissing and sex scenes they should do it and if they want neither they should do that. A writer or directors artistic expression should never come at the cost of a women's autonomy. I'm more concerned about the quality of scenes we get. I would rather no kiss than a terrible kiss and I'd rather no sex scene that an bad/inaccurate one. Part of acting is intimacy scenes and if these scenes aren't done well it breaks audience immersion. Viewers should be able to critique these scenes without being shamed for it.

I hate to say it but Chasing Love is falling into the same trap as Girl Rules. Its an "ensemble" show with one main couple and two side couples. The main couple gets 90 percent of the screen time, the secondary couple gets 8 percent and the final couple gets the scraps.

This hierarchy of couples could work if the writers knew how to give the lesser couples meaningful screentime but they cant seem to find that balance. Ple and Ploy are cute but we get two scenes of them per episode if we're lucky. Song had to tell Ploy Ple's tragic backstory because they writers couldn't be bothered to give them that bonding moment and Ploy was able to heal all of Ple's abandonment issues and avoidant tendencies with one conversation. They're girlfriends and we have yet to see a date. Most of Ploy's screentime is dedicated to her helping SongPiang even though Piang has never helped Ploy and only seems to call her when she needs something.

The writers want us to believe they're friends- and I would love to see that- but it's hard to sell when Piang treats Mon like a friend/confidant and Ploy like an errand girl. Mudmee and Kwanrin's arc annoys me the most. I watched Denied Love and read the novel so I have some insight into Rin's character, but if I was a casual watcher ignorant of the extended universe this story exists in, I would have no opinion of Kwanrin. She has no character. All she does is listen to Mudmee complain about her sister. We know nothing about her life or what draws her to Mudmee - and vice versa- because the writers are too busy looping everything back to SongPiang. So when the other couples get together it feels hollow.

They had decent set up that was thrown away to speed run relationships so SongPiang could have more screentime. I like SongPiang because I'm accustomed to dumb couples that have the same arguement 10x before they get together but if I were a casual viewer watching for another couple I would be pissed.

Lom: I'm your bodyguard I should sacrifice my life for you

Blew: No, I dont want you to die, I should sacrifice my life for you

Lom: Your life is more important