The horrors persist but I stay silly :3

do you think in the 1910/1920s people were getting in trouble for joking like "we just hit the iceberg..." and "this is literally my titanic"

i think if you showed minecraft or fortnite to a little medieval peasant boy he would probably start writing parodies of church hymns. it’s human nature

shoutout to the person who tagged this "#geronimo stilton" for living their truth in a way most of us could never find the courage to

giving increasingly loud sighs as I wait for my crush to ask "what's wrong?" so I can say I'm in a state of depression unless I can touch someone's boobs with no bra

I stop once I start getting short of breath

[Your crush, on the phone to someone unseen] Yeah I think she needs to be put down, her breathing-- yeah I know it can be a problem for her breed, but it's getting really bad.

I'M NOT A DOG??????

[clearly less interested now] Oh.

wait! au au

[walking over the distant horizon, towards the West]

AU AU!!! AU AU!!!!! 😭

"are you taken?" i mean not yet but i think i'm kidnappable so i wouldn't count it out

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

parents are allowed to straight-up torture their kids with zero consequences. they can withhold food and water, lock you out of shelter, confiscate your belongings, bar you from human contact, attack and harm you and exert complete control over your physical appearance. and this is just the norm. if you speak out against it you're seen as a delinquent or a predator. even otherwise progressive people get uncomfortable with the idea of dismantling the nuclear family unit because they still see it as the best way to keep kids safe when that simply couldn't be further from the truth. it's evil.

there’s a used bookstore in rural western massachusetts (the montague book mill) whose motto is “books you don’t need in a place you can’t find” and i just feel like that summarizes tumblr too

posts you don’t need on a site you can’t search

Thinking about a vampire dude bro who won't drink girl blood- because he's afraid it will estroginise him soy products style- getting trapped in a mental cage when he learns vampire dude who only bites other dudes reads as gay

am always obsessed when someone says to a character “call off your dog” about another character.

All my haters become lactaters when they suckle at the teat of success

All my haters become fellators when presented with the cock of victory

All my followers become judgemental when confronting my posts of internet