​so much to inspect... to dissect...

well, my dear friends, i have been taking care of my little girl who arrived in june!

as you can imagine, i'm exhausted, but over the moon. we'd been trying for so long and our prayers were answered. we're so grateful to God.

we'll be a little low-activity for a bit. but know i'm around and thinking of you all!

for those hard conversations you have to have sometimes. romantic, platonic, familial, & a few others!

i  don't  know  how  to  say  this  without  hurting  you.

you've  been  so  different  lately...

i've  been  trying  to  say  this  for  a  while  now.

i  know  i  messed  up.  i  just  need  you  to  listen.

did  you  fall  out  of  love  with  me?

you  don't  have  to  forgive  me.

at  what  point  did  you  decide  i  wasn't  worth  the  effort?

why  didn't  you  tell  me?

why  is  love  in  this  family  always  conditional?

please  just  say  something.

i've  spent  my  whole  life  trying  to  be  enough  for  you.

i'm  scared  if  we  talk  about  this,  we're  going  to  fall  apart.

do  you  even  want  to  fix  this  anymore?

you  were  supposed  to  be  the  one  person  who  wouldn't  give  up  on  me!

tell  me  what  to  do.  tell  me  what  you  need.

if  this  is  the  end,  i  want  to  hear  you  say  it.

i'm  scared  you're  only  here  because  it's  easier  to  stay.

i  can't  keep  pretending  nothing  happened.

you  left  me  to  clean  up  the  pieces  of  what  you  broke.

you  act  like  you're  fine  but  i  can  tell  you're  not.

i  can't  keep  holding  this  in  anymore.

it  feels  like  you  don't  need  me  anymore.

was  it  easier  to  ghost  me  than  admit  you  gave  up?

say  it.  say  you  never  loved  me.

when  did  we  stop  being  on  the  same  side?

sometimes  i  wish  i'd  never  met  you.

loving  someone  isn't  supposed  to  feel  like  this.

why  is  it  so  hard  to  talk  to  you  without  feeling  small?

i'm  tired  of  being  the  one  who  holds  it  all  together.

if  you  cared,  you  would've  stayed.

it means i want to be here, i really do 

it means that i have, whether i like it or not, more important things to do than roleplay at the moment

it means that replies are going to sit for a moment

WHAT IT DOESN’T MEAN:

that i care any less

that i don’t want to talk / plot with you

that you aren’t allowed to IM me or ask for my disco

100 DAYS OF KINGDOM HEARTS DRAWINGS:

DAY 17

But that little voice might have as well been a dagger into his chest from guilt.

That's right. I did this. I caused this. ...We have to set this right.

"No," he said firmly, lowering the tablet in his hands and staring at her with a piercing expression. "And don't you ever think otherwise."

He crossed the floor back to her and lowered himself down to her level.

"I..."   teeth   drew   in   her   bottom   lip   as   forget-me-not   gaze   slowly   met   the   scientist's.

"Don't...   really   understand,   why   do   you   want   to   help   me?   It's   not   like   I'm...   a   real   person."

Vexen turned back to the tablet in his hand, pressed a couple of keys, and stared back down at her.

 She   couldn't   look   the   other   in   their   eyes,   instead   her   gaze   fell   to   the   toes   of   her   boots,   gloved   hands   trembling....

But that little voice might have as well been a dagger into his chest from guilt.

That's right. I did this. I caused this. ...We have to set this right.

"No," he said firmly, lowering the tablet in his hands and staring at her with a piercing expression. "And don't you ever think otherwise."

He crossed the floor back to her and lowered himself down to her level.

I just love doing these. let me rest | Deeply Exhausted Starters

"I fell asleep at my desk again..."

"I'm not laying down, I just have too much to do..."

"Oh, I... wobbled, didn't I?"

"I'm just leaning on the wall, it's fine..."

"Resting my ears. Eyes. I'm resting my... eyes."

"What? Yeah, I... I mean, I had at least an hour. Or two."

"I'm trying to sleep, I swear it."

"I'll rest when I'm dead."

"Sleep is for the weak, and brother, I am pathetic."

"Oh, my hands are shaking, aren't they?"

"I didn't mean to... drop that... oh..."

"I can't, I can't sleep, not yet, I'm sorry."

"Oh, I don't know why I'm crying. It's all just a lot."

"Coffee. Coffee. More coffee."

"How many of those energy drinks have you had?"

"You can't keep pushing like this, one day you're going to pass out."

"Did you drive like this!?"

"You worry me, you know. Avoiding sleep."

"You keep acting like it's no big deal but I know you're not sleeping."

"I want you to feel safe. You have to rest."

"Look, if I bring you a hot chocolate and a blanket..?"

"Do you want me ... to stay here? While you sleep?"

"Stop! Enough! You can't do this any more!"

"If you don't get some sleep, it's going to kill you."

"I want to help you, can't you see that?"

"I dosed your coffee with sleeping pills. Sorry."

"I'm going to make sure you sleep."

"You have to rest, end of story, zip, nothing else."

"Alright, I have you. Close your eyes, and take a deep, calm breath."