Girl vs. Whale

Have you ever been heartbroken at the sight of someone? Just watching their chin turn from left to right as they cross the street or the way they twist a pen between their first finger and their second, breaks me into these tiny pieces that I can never get out of the carpet.  

I skate from one room to the other, trying to move on, move up, move past and the invisible shards of someone’s memory dig into my soles; thin trails of blood lead from the kitchen to the couch, from the bathroom to my bed, just so I know where my heart has been that night–just so I know what color I am on the inside.

I know you’re never going to love me, never going to hold me in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, never going to feel anything for me but lust between the place where your heart thumps into your ribs–you know all the places I am dark and heavy. You know all the reasons I am a bad investment. 

One day, I will meet someone who doesn’t look at me and see a crumbling foundation and a weak roof. One day, I will meet someone who sees a home in me, someone who knows that under the chipped paint and bad days and weak moments, are strong bones and a strong heart. 

I still drag my soles over the tiny pieces you made out of me once, still gush red when I brush up against you. 

Kristen Fiore // Note to Self  (via girlvswhale)

You are not your broken heart. It does not define you. One day it will just be another story you tell with a deep sigh. It mattered, but it does not define you. Go ahead and hurt. One day you won’t anymore.

Worthy and capable people go unloved every day–stop acting like it’s the end of the world that you are one of them and learn to love yourself more. Choosing yourself over someone else is not a bad thing–stop beating yourself up over it; you will thank yourself a year from now.  People are going to like you and they will try to make you feel guilty when you don’t like them back–you are a human being, not a toy. Every day is unpredictable and shit goes wrong and sometimes there is traffic at 3pm and sometimes you hit every red light when you are already late–stop being angry at yourself for things you can’t control and learn to take a deep breath when traffic rolls to a stop.