âI hope every man thatâs ever touched you diesâ Bakugo slurs out, cheeks flushed, glossy eyes locked on you.
You blink, then burst out laughing, hand flying to your mouth, âKatsuki! Thatâs so mean!â
He scowls, trying to sit up straighter and failing miserably, âWha? You love em or somethin?â he barks out, but the alcohol in his system makes it sound more like a pouty little whine.
You roll your eyes, playful smile pulling at your lips, âYouâre wastedâ
âI want them deadâ
âYouâre a pro hero babe, I donât think you should be saying thatâ
âdeadâ he hisses like a pissy cat.
Your laughter spills out again, light and easy, filling the room. And just like that, he feels himself cool off a little. He lazily slumps further into the couch, watching you through half-lidded eyes.
You move around the room like itâs second nature. Grabbing him cold water, crouching down to tug off his shoes, gently setting them aside. Youâre yapping the whole time, some random story spilling from your lips, but heâs not really listening.
Heâs too busy watching you.
The way your hands move so carefully, like heâs something that deserves to be cared for so gently.
Something warm stirs in his chest.
Before he can stop himself, he lets out a loud whine, arms lazily opening, âcâmereâ he mutters.
You donât even hesitate.
You smile softly, finding your way to him in seconds. You curl up on the couch with him, fitting perfectly into his arms, like itâs where you belong.
He buries his face into your hair, inhaling deeply, like heâs desperate to memorize your scent. You giggle softly, wiggling around until he grunts and squeezes you hard.
âStop movinâ he grumbles
âYouâre tickling meâ you protest, giggles still spilling out.
He cracks a small, crooked smile. He nuzzles in deeper, deliberately making it worse until youâre wriggling around, laughing hard, desperately trying and failing to escape.
He keeps a strong grip on you, not enough to hurt, just enough to keep you in his grasp. Enough to remind you, you ainât going anywhere.
Not from him.
When he finally gives you mercy, head flopping back onto the couch cushion, heâs got a silly little smile on his face. His hands stay on you, thumbs gently rubbing small circles in your hips.
You smile up at him with that soft look in your eye. You smile at him so fondly, so warmly, he feels his heart stutter.
âQuit lookin at me like thatâ, he mutters, gently pushing your face away in a playful way, âyâknow my hearts weakâ
You jump up instantly, all laughter gone, worry taking over your face, âWhat? Are you okay?â
He laughs, loud and bright, something silly and boyish breaking through. He reaches for you, hands pulling you back to him like he canât stand the space between you.
âIâm kiddingâ, he grins. From where youâre sitting with him, hands gently over his heart, you can feel it. The way his heart races, the warmth radiating from his skin.
It calms you, huffing out a little laugh of your own, âYouâre not funnyâ
ââŠyeah,â he mumbles, quieter now, gaze flickering over your face. The look in his eye rivals your own, soft and warm, something almost shy creeping in, âBut you care.â
You donât even deny it, just lean in to pepper little kisses down his jaw, making sure to kiss every little scar you can reach, âBecause I love you so muchâ
And damn, does that get him.
It hits him all at once.
That overwhelming, heavy gratitude that settles deep in his chest. His throat tightens, breath catching as he blinks rapidly, trying to force away the burn behind his eyes. Iâm never drinking with those idiots again, he thinks bitterly, makes me soft as shit.
He suddenly flops over, big body draping over your own, âI love you tooâ he mumbles, voice rough but unmistakably shy.
His grip tightens just a little, fingers curling into your shirt, ââŠso donât go touchinâ anybody elseâ, he adds under his breath, softer this time, less bite, something more fragile that heâd never admit to sober.
You simply smile, laughter bubbling out as you run your fingers through his hair, âWouldnât dream of it, handsomeâ.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
frat!satoru asking you to chat mid-party after days of radio silence | 18+ | âč 4k wc
coming to this party hadn't even been your idea.
with midterms concluding and your cortisol levels at their highest, shoko's idea of winding down comes in the form of cheap, unlimited booze and vomit tinged air. promises of it being fun, paired with not wanting her going on her own lead to your current situation.
the tiny black dress seems to cling to every dip and crease, something cute and overly strappy on your feet (per shoko's ordering around). you lookâŠdifferent. good different, of course. from the top down save for your glasses balanced on your nose because contacts make your eyes water. near the corner like a wallflower, trying to remain as separate from the bodies bumping and grinding as possible. silently searching for the one person you know you shouldn't have on your mind.
you spot satoru before he spots you, halfway across the room, air seeming to shape around his presence. he looks good, as annoyingly good as he always does. black tee, biceps. bigâŠfat biceps. jeans hanging low on his hips in that irritatingly effortless way. his friends are laughing at something he just said, heâs grinning, just looking so in his element. so different from you.
you're barely given the opportunity to look away before he catches your stare across the room as though he'd felt your gaze. you watch the recognition hit, feel your skin tingle with the unabashed once over he gives right from your head right down to your toes.
taking in your hair, the dress, the heelsâeverything that isn't your usual skirts, cardigans and dresses. his eyes meet yours again, carrying a look that makes your face far too warm for comfort. satoru's eyes leave you only for a moment, clapping his friendâsuguru, you thinkâon the shoulder before abandoning his side completely.
âŠto walk in your direction. your heart feels like it drops all the way down to your ass, frozen like a deer in headlights as you stare at his approaching figure. you will your limbs to move but they just don't cooperate despite your best efforts, heart pounding in an unsteady staccato rhythm against your ribcage.
then he's in right front of you, close enough that you have to tip your head back to properly meet his gaze. "can't say I expected to see you here."
and as you always are when satoru's in your orbit, or well, when you're in his, you choke up. embarrassingly, pathetically so. managing just a small "huh?" that he can only make out by the shape of your mouth.
his mouth slants, teeth flashing in a smile. you're staring up at him all wide-eyed and pretty behind your glasses. god, you're so easy to fluster. satoru wonders if you know just how much he likes it.
"I said I didn't think I'd see you here." he says a little louder, eyes travelling down your frame before finding your gaze again, "shoko's doing?"
you manage a small nod, fingers instinctively reaching to tug at the hem of the material sitting too high on your thighs. "..she said I should try something new."
"yeah?" and if ogling the first few times weren't enough, he's reaching to play with the hem of your dress, settling it back into place, "tell her i said thanks, then."
the red solo cup feels weighted in your hand, words lost on you despite knowing you should have some sort of response here. satoru doesn't seem to mind your silence though.
he's closer in a heartbeat, and you can hear yours pounding in your ears, blood heating with the warmth of his breath against your ear. "wanna go somewhere quieter to talk? the music's too loud."
if there's nothing else you know in the world, one thing you do know is what being alone with satoru leads to. how your 'talks' with him always end up. yet still, you repeat his offer, "to talk?"
"mhm, to talk." his fingers trace the length of your arm down to the inside of your elbow, giving you a little encouraging tug in his direction. "just for a little bit."
despite this being the exact reason you've been avoiding him, the exact reason his messages have gone unanswered, you're nodding dumbly and letting him drag you away because really, what other option is there?
(saying no, probably. but your feet betray you anyway.)
the door shuts behind you with a resolute click, music pounding faintly under the cracks of its frame. muted, distant. his spot of choice is a pantry a bit off from the main one in the kitchen, packed full of unopened snacks and crap ton of solo cups.
you're the one to cut through the silence, "..what'd you wanna talk about?" the shoes are awfully interesting now that he has you alone, pinching your toes, straps digging into soft skin. you chance a glance up at him through your lashes, finding bright blues even in the mostly dark room. fixed on your features with an intensity that makes your stomach lurch, grip tightening around the condensation slick cup.
"just wanted to know why my smart girl is avoiding me." to think he'd even noticed you pulling away. not that you were being subtle about it - his messages had gone unanswered, usual spots avoided or outright abandoned.
âI told you to stop calling me that.â your hands feel uncomfortably clammy. you wipe them down the front of the dress, immediately regretting the action when you remember that it isn't even yours.
it's far too cramped in here, satoru's too close and it does something to your psyche that you don't appreciate in the slightest. it's like close proximity reroutes any brain signal that tells you to maintain self preservation, instead keeping you rooted in his space. âand I wasnât ignoring you, I got busy.â your eyes find him again, lie burning your throat, âmidterm stuff, you know?â
âah, right. same midterms that ended a week ago.â he reaches to retrieve the cup youâve been nursing for the past couple minutes, placing it somewhere in your peripheral.
lengthy fingers find your now freed hand, lacing it with his like itâs the most casual thing in the world. his thumb brushes your pulse point and you wonder if he can feel how fast your heart is racing. just how nervous all of this is making you. "I think youâve been getting all up in your pretty head about stuff that doesn't matter."
stuff that âdoesnât matterâ. as if thatâs covers it. how do you let him know that multiple people have warned you off him. how his interest âdoesnât last more than a couple daysâ, how he âisnât one for serious relationshipsâ and that you should enjoy your turn while it lasts. none of it should phase you since this has been casual since day one, but it still makes your stomach turn for whatever reason. âI should go. shokoâs probably looking forâ"
ââI saw her doing belly shots on the way here, trust that sheâs not turning the place inside out looking for you.â
heâs stepping closer, enough that you try to retreat. packs crinkle against your back on contact, hand in his growing embarrassingly slick in your nervous state. âcanât exactly talk to you if you wonât look at me.â the smile he gives when you do look at him again is enough to make that fickle restraint of yours begin to falter, pulse racing, âthereâs my girl.â
your heart does something stupid in your chest, retort hot on your tongue before you can even think it over, âagain, iâm not your girl.â
satoru quirks a brow, corner of his mouth tilting upward in bare amusement. âyouâre not? couldâve fooled me with all the sex we have.â his other hand shifts to adjust your glasses though thereâs definitely nothing off with it.
âwhere was it the last time..my car? maybe your dorm?â his confusion is nothing but a facade to get a reaction out of you and itâs unfortunately doing the job. a feel like youâll get a nosebleed with how much blood rushes up to your face with his words, his closeness. âmaybe the study room? you know, I really liked that thing you did with your tonââ you clap a hand over his mouth before he can continue, wide eyed and a tiny bit mortified, watching his eyes crinkle near the corners.
âyouâre soâŠyouâre so vulgar.â heâs grinning like a fool behind your palm, as amused as he always gets at how easily you become flustered.
the hand not holding yours gently pries your hand covering his mouth away, pressing a chaste kiss to your palm, âsee how good we are together when you're not ignoring me?â
you ignore what the intimate gesture does to you, focusing on his words instead. âI said I wasnât ignoring you. Itâs justâŠI didnât want..â you try to find a way to explain yourself without being too embarrassing.
without outright telling him you didnât want to make things awkward. without saying that you possibly likehimbeyondhavingcrazygoodsexwithhim. âdoes it matter? weâre not dating or anything.â
and, you're not wrong. it's not like you owe him anything. but still, âdoesnât have anything to do with me being a 'dumb' frat dude? figured you mightâve found someone more..â he makes a gesture from your top to bottom, implication clear, âlike you. or whatever.â
what the fuck? "no? it's not like that." you're stumbling over your words now, flustered. why he would even think that is beyond you. âI donât think youâre dumb. you know you're not. and I havenât found anyone else.â the last part comes out lower, almost shy, gaze averted. âlike, really. I just had so much to do and you barely texted so I figuredââ
he kisses you. quick and soft, cutting off your rambling. when he pulls back you're staring at him with your mouth half open, dumbfounded. âfiguredâŠuh.â
âhm? figured what?â you try to find the words again but they donât come. the way heâs staring down at you doesnât help with gathering your thoughts either. âdid you miss me?â
you can't form a proper thought, words dying on your tongue. his thumb rubs painfully familiar circles into the back of your hand and it isn't exactly helping your case. "..you know what you're doing."
he has the gall to tilt his head like he's confused, dipping to kiss the side of your mouth. "what am I doing?" one hand slides down to give your hip a gentle squeeze. sliding lower to caress the small of your back like he can't help but touch you now that you're giving him the chance to after two very long weeks. "is telling my favorite lady I missed her a crime?" his expression shifts into a wounded one, bringing your joined hands to the center of his chest, "so you didn't miss me?"
"I didn't say that."
he's smiling again in an instant. that specific, annoyingly gorgeous smile that you've become nauseatingly fond of, "okay. tell me you missed me then." you wonder if he knows just how sick he makes you.
the words bubble up, spilling out before you think too much lose and any and all confidence, "..so annoying. of course I missed you." it's far too soft, somewhat exasperated sounding but he's glad that you'd said it nonetheless. "..isn't that obvious?"
"oh yeah?"
"stop." you can't tell if your cheeks are as hot as they feel, managing an eyeroll before your eyes break contact with his to fix on a distant point behind him, "..i'll take it back if you make it weird."
"doesn't matter if you take it back. already saved it to my memory." the hand on your back draws you closer, practically chest to chest with him at this point. "can i please have my 'i'm so sorry for ignoring you' kiss now?"
"i wasn'tâŠ" the words die on your tongue because you both know each other well enough to see things as they really are.
your nod is enough confirmation that you're okay with his request and youâre prepared this time when his lips flatten over yours.
it's deeper than a measly little peck, you're not too sure what to do with your hands even now so you settle for his chest. broad and hard under your fingers, lips parting around a dreamy sigh. it's like you go without kissing him for a bit and forget just how good it is. god, do you love kissing him. love the way he tastes, the way his tongue moves against yours, the little satisfied sound he makes when you do something he likes. satoru has no issue reminding you, clearly. you're kissing him back now, less tentative, and fuck if that doesn't make him want to push this further.
his hands arenât stationary for long, familiar and roamingâsqueezing your hips, moving around to smooth down the curve of your behind. his thumbs tease the edges of the dress, lips pulling away from yours to kiss across your cheeks. âlove this dress on you. just as pretty as thoseââ another kiss, moving down your neck. âcardigans and stuff.â
ât-thank you.â your fingers find place in his hair as he kisses along your collarbones, across the curving slope of your breasts. "..you look nice too." a familiar heat that only he brings about rushes through you, nipples tightening, gripping his strands between your fingers. his answering groan is enough to have you flushing, a rush of arousal dampening your panties. his hand slides up your thigh now, fingers tracing patterns along the inside. squeezing, nuzzling and kissing at your tits.
"satoru." it comes out breathy, voice carrying over the music still thumping outside. âI donât think we shouldââ you lose your train of thought when his fingers press against you through your underwear with the lightest pressure. he drags it from your clothed entrance to your clit, circling once, twice. slow enough to make it ache.
your fingers in his hair are shaky, but you have a good enough grip to angle his head up, keeping him from nuzzling into your chest so he can listen. his lips are swollen and pink, hair already a mess from your fingers, and he's looking at you with those half-lidded eyes that make your heart do something stupid. âs-someone might come in.â
"hm? it's okay, baby." he runs his nose along the slope of your breasts again, nipping and kissing the bared flesh, free hand moving up to tug the flimsy polyester out of the way so it bunches under your bare tits, "no one's gonna come in." his mouth latches onto one of your nipples like it's meant to be there and the sound that leaves you has his cock leaking like a untouched virgin.
"satoruâoh.." the sound that leaves you comes breathless, pure pleasure coursing through you. he continues thumbing at your clit at a pace seems genuinely cruel given the state of your underwear. pressing down just enough to give you a taste and nothing more. the first direct contact against your clit when his fingers push beneath the fabric pulls a sharp inhale out of you, packs crinkling under your head as it falls back.
he's rubbing gentle circles, mouth alternating to the next breast after sufficiently slicking the previous one up. his fingers easily spread your puffy lips, thumb sliding through the slick mess he's caused. he pulls off your tit with a wet pop, teeth grazing the now peaked nipple. "god, you're so wet."
he's so good at working you up like this every time, ridiculously so. it's no wonder 2 weeks is the longest you've stayed away so far.
"didn'tâmmhâmean to go quiet on you." his lips trace the curved slope of either breast, nosing at the underside of one. "the frat had a ton of stuff to deal with." he kisses his way back up your chest, over your sternum, across your collarbones and back up to your face. your mouth crushes against his again as he finally slides his middle finger home, palm hitting your clit with wet thwacks as he drives it in and out.
"no, it'sânng, fuckâit's fine." you manage, trying to follow his rhythm. kisses uncoordinated, growing messier. "it's fine, I promise."
he pulls back, glossy string stretching between your lips. chest rising and falling faster, never letting up on fucking his finger into your slick cunt. "it's not though." his finger curls somewhere deep and your knees buckle, sure the only thing keeping you upright is how he's pressed to you "let me make it up to you."
you don't get the chance to ask him for clarification - satoru wastes no time dropping to his knees, pushing your dress up above your hips. free hand grabbing your soft thigh to throw it over his shoulder. your heel finds his back and digs in there, skin hot against his. his kisses up the inside of your thigh burn your skin and you're practically shocked into silence, eyes lidded, breathing paced.
you probably shouldn't be doing this here. letting him finger you is one thing but eating you out.. "toru.." you try for a warning tone but it falls flat, closer to a whine, hands sliding into his hair.
his breaths warm your skin, breath warming your skin. kisses getting closer and closer to your core before ultimately landing on his prize. it takes everything to muffle your yelp of surprise, tugging on his hair. he takes it as encouragement if anything, nose nudging your clit. "mhm?"
"someone might come in." the words are half hearted at best, hips pushing closer to his mouth if anything. "i'm s-serious, the door isn'tâ"
his tongue drags across the ruined fabric in a long stripe and you finally find yourself wordless, eyes fluttering closed. it's that warm, wet pressure of his tongue through thin cotton, gusset thoroughly soaked through. satoru laps at you over the fabric like this comes close to the actual thing, firm strokes up and down your entrance, moaning openly into you. when your eyes finally open again his eyes are already on yours, mouth fully covering you, hand kneading the underside of your thigh.
his thumb hooks at the edge of your underwear, finally tugging it out of the way. the cool air hits where you're hottest first, then comes the firm, wet press of his tongue.
flicking over your clit once, twice. he plants a sloppy kiss there, breath shuddering. "so pretty." satoru makes quick work of practically making out with your cunt, tongue lapping at every inch of your arousal covered flesh. tonguing at your entrance, working its way inside. your chest heaves with your increasingly needy sounds, arm flying up to bite your forearm, tugging hard at his hair.
satoru eats you out with vigour, squeezing your shaking thigh, moaning like this affects him as much as it's affecting you. your arm falls away from your mouth only in search for something to keep yourself balanced, hand crushing down sealed packets on the rack behind you.
the throb of his cock is almost painful at this point, filled out and straining hard against his jeans, actively choosing to ignore it in favor of pleasuring you. squeezing your thigh, caressing your skin. large hands slide all they way up your body to bear the weight of your breasts, gently thumbing at your stiff nipples. your eyes are watering, thigh shaking around his head, wet obscene sounds of his mouth on you filling every corner of the small space.
he doesn't need you to say you're close before he feels the tell-tale throbbing of your clit, the way you begin to rut more desperately against his tongue. satoru strokes the muscle inward deep with no care for the building ache in his jaw, the tight pull of his balls.
pulling back only to seal his lips around your clit. suckling and stroking with his tongue till you're bucking harshly against his face and panting into your arm. with a firm tug from you, he pulls off, two lithe fingers sliding knuckle deep to keep you filled. rising off his knees to get to your level again, forehead dropping to yours. satoru's in worse shape that you'd thought - lips slick and swollen, chin coated in your arousal. heavy hardness of his cock pressing into your stomach as he peers down at you in the dark. "come on, pretty. tell me how good you feel."
his voice is low, wrecked enough that the heat in your stomach flares almost painfully. your head drops into the space between his neck and shoulder, hips instantly bucking and rolling into his hand. chasing the pressure of his fingertips against your sweet spot, the mean inward curl to target it head on. he grinds the heel of his palm down on your clit with every pass and you're left to bite into his shoulder, blood rushing straight to your head. "so good. gonnaâhaah, you're gonna make me..." the words are muffled into his shirt, slick pooling on his fingers, inner walls pulling tighter and tigher around him.
"sato...mm, i'm cummingâ" it stutters out of you broken, thighs shaking. the coil finally snaps with a mean upward curl of his fingers, cry breaking right into his neck. it hits you in harsh waves, worked through the entirety of it, fingers never letting up on rubbing at your g-spot. falling apart for a man you didn't plan on seeing at a party you didn't even want to come to.
it's like you've gone 2 weeks untouched with how it just drags on and on. frame bowing into his broad chest, chip packet giving out under your grip with a pop that you barely hear over the roar of blood in your ears.
"that's it." murmured against your cheekbone. "cum all over my fingers, baby."
his thumb angles to swipe over your clit and you're sure you black out for a little, coming back down to slightly damp cheeks and his mouth pressing open kisses to your neck. your heartbeat pounds in your ears, body hot and still vibrating from the intensity of your high.
two sticky fingers prod at your lips and your eyes flutter open, parting to take what he's offering. tasting yourself as you gently lap at the digits, body curving right up into his warm front. he pulls them free with a wet pop, hands working to wipe your smudged mascara and lipgloss, sliding your dress back into place like he hadn't given you a mind numbing orgasm moments ago.
"are you coming home with me?" soft lips press to your cheek. then the corner of your mouth. warm hands moving slow up your back like he has no intention of rushing you.
you know better. you know him, know yourself. how tonight will go if you say yes, if you let yourself fall back into this same patternâŠ
your lips part to tell him no, reallyâŠbut then he presses a kiss to your temple, gently brushing damp strands out your face so he can get a good look at you.
"...let me go tell shoko i'm leaving."
author's note :: đŁČâ wayyy longer than I was going for but I have no idea where to cut down so...yay (ă ÂŽ Ë `)
comments, reblogs and likes appreciated always, thanks for reading! â
late night cravings after work only means late night dinner with sukuna.
PART 07: COCOMELON AND LATE DINNER
PAIRING: frat bro! ryomen sukuna x fem! reader
CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ content, MDNI. unplanned pregnancy. mention of abortion. yuuji being an ipad kid. readerâs still a lil wary.
NOTE: hopefully yâall arenât sick of me w these updates LOL as always, i hope you enjoy and iâd love to hear your thots :p
not even ten minutes pass after you've hung up when sukuna's car peels into the parking lot, beaming headlights nearly making you catch a glimpse of the pearly whites gates as they shine onto the glass.
your steps are slow as you waddle from one corner of the shop onto the next, making your way to the back. everything's been set up for the workers coming in the morning, every last plate and cup washed, and yet, your eyes still scan around the place to see if everything's accounted for.
you're already a liability enough as it is, the last thing you need is nanami coming over to you with any complaints.
but everything's checked off, you come to realize upon further inspection. it's only then that you do quick work of untying your apron, a quiet sigh of relief leaving your lips at undoing the tight knot. it's quickly shoved into your locker, replaced instead by the cozy fleece sweater you'd worn on your way here.
a cold gust of air hits your face as soon as you step out of the warmth of the coffee shop, breaths coming out in little wisps. the door's handle's freezing underneath your fingertips, leaving you fumbling and trembling to try to get it locked. it takes you a minute to get it done, keys threatening to slip from your grasp, but you manage to get it done.
it's not far enough into the year yet to have snow filling up the streets, white flurries fluttering through the air in a dance, but it's still cold.
sukuna's leaning against the passenger seat of the car by the time you've finally finished locking up, holding the door open. "thanks for coming to pick me up," you greet when you're close enough, teeth chattering against each other.
"told you i'd be here when you needed me," sukuna merely shrugged, ushering you inside.
you step inside the car, immediately welcomed by a blasting heater and the noise of cocomelon blasting from the backseat. a little kid's up on a car seat, you come to realize upon looking back, sticky fingers swiping across the screen of his tablet. he hasn't even noticed you come in yet, or if he has, he hasn't made any move to acknowledge you just yet.
his eyes are glued down to the screen next to him, lips parted as he mouths the song playing at all volume. you find your gaze lingering onto the kidâwondering if that's what your little girl would look like. if she'd have sukuna's bright pink hair, if she'd look the same as this little kid sitting in the backseat.
"so uhâŠ" you take a pause at that moment, trying to figure out how to word your question. how to figure out if your daughter had any other siblings you should keep in mind. "how many kids do you have scattered around?"
the air in the car settles tense. sukuna's fingers tighten against the steering wheel, knuckles a ghastly white. even the little boy's tablet buffers at the sudden loss of connection, everything completely quiet. you can hear yourself gulp. "the fuck are you going on about?" you feel a shiver go down your spine.
you quickly realize how the question sounds, a nervous laugh leaving your lips, "i mean i'm not judging, y'know, i'm sure you have money to provide and stuff," you quickly jump to explain, "just wondering, is all. how many kids you've.. umm⊠had and how many siblings our baby has."
in your defense, it was difficult to think otherwise, to be fair. the little boy in the back bore a striking resemblance to the man behind the wheel. from the pink spiky tufts of hair down to the same mannerisms, the way that his smile stretches from one cheek to the other.
"yuuji's not my kid." you mentally face palm at the realization, sinking into the leather seat. "he's my brother's. i'm stuck with babysitting duty while he's out on a date." despite stating it as a duty, it seems like anything but.
"oh, uh, i see." you settle for being quiet for the rest of the ride, lips tightly pressed together. the conversation runs through your mind in repeat, unrelenting as if your own brain took amusement in your embarrassment. a grimace settles on your face, your gaze focused out on the window.
the highway, much like the previous rides you've shared with sukuna around this time of night, is quiet. especially now that the temperature's starting to drop, leaves blowing in the wind and cold air seeping in through the windows despite the heater. it's a calm drive in spite of how awkward you're still feeling: sukuna's letting people cut him off without throwing a tantrum, he's going the speed limit, while yuuji'sâmoving to the front?
"uncle kuna!" the little boy piped up, tablet immediately tossed on the carpet underneath his feet. the song continues in the background while yuuji's head pops into the front, pointing a chubby finger at one of the many fluorescent restaurant banners lining up the edge of the highway, "i'm hungry!"
an exasperated huff escapes the man next to you, lowering the child's finger with his own. "just passed the exit," he muttered, speeding past the array of restaurants. they were quickly replaced by a gas station on every corner, prices nearly making your eyes pop out.
"but i'm starvinggggg," the little boy drawls out, face contorted into one of agony, "please uncle kuna, i could eat a horseeee," he continues to whine, pounding his little fists against the leather next to him.
"you ate a pack of cookies before we got here," sukuna deadpanned, making no effort to move any closer to get off the highway.
"please, please, please, ple-â yuuji gets about halfway into it before sukuna relents (either that or he simply gets tired of yuuji blabbering in his ear), "fine!"
the little boy takes what he can gets, a victorious smile immediately replacing his earlier frown. he picks up his tablet and goes back to swinging his feet as if nothing happened in the first place.
sukuna turns to look over at you, "what d'you feel like eating? burgers, pizza, wings? pho?" he lists off, slowing down as he approaches the ramp.
"i don't get paid until next week, i'll just eat something at home," you shrug off his concern, even if the idea of reheating a bowl of instant ramen was less than appetizing. you want him to leave the subject alone, and yet you're betrayed at that very moment. by your own belly, no less.
"im not asking if you have money to pay. i'm asking what you want to eat," he continues to press on, merging with ease into the empty street to turn right.
"i could go for a burger then."
"good, i know just the place then."
the diner's parking lot is deserted when sukuna pulls into the parking lot, the inside of the place even more so. only a few servers run around the back, trying to wait out their shift while a couple stragglers still cling onto the last hour before closing time. music plays off a rundown jukebox in the corner,
yuuji scampered off the leather seats once the doors were open, running across the parking lot over to the entrance. "damn brat's gonna make me go grey at twenty," he grumbled to himself, following after the kid. a bell dings loudly once the three of you step foot into the place, one of the waitresses looking over.
the inside feels more cozy than you expect, red leather seats worn down with age, peeling at the sides, a couple black and white photographs decorating the walls. the smell of coffee is still prominent at this time of night, drops pitter pattering as a fresh batch brews into the jug. the few people that are inside share a drink, talking amongst themselves and laughing.
"yuuji, hi pumpkin!" a blonde haired woman approaches from behind the counter, a bright smile on her face as she skates in your direction.
"yuki!" he beams up, sprinting in her direction at full speed. an 'oof' escapes from her lips, barely managing to stay standing as the boy tosses himself onto her. yuji wraps his arms around her legs, "i made a new friend today!"
"yeah?" yuuji nods his head like a malfunctioning bobble head, eager to talk about the little girl he'd met at the playground. "she's bossy but she's nice and she's got this hammer! it's amazing and and andâŠ."
yuki leads the three of you over to a booth in the back, lights dimmed down for what seemed to be a romantic atmosphere, away from any of the other patrons. she's quick at dispersing menus on the table before pulling out a notepad and a pen. "alright, what can i get you started with?"
"juice! and chicky nuggies!" yuuji beams up, a toothy grin on his face.
"water." sukuna speaks up at nearly the same time, the little boy's grin fading just as quickly as it came. he clears his throat, looking over at a smiling yuki, "watered down juice."
"i'll take a water and the first burger, please," you speak up, handing the menu back once she jotted it down. sukuna orders a coke for himself along with a bacon burger, passing the menu back.
not even a minute passes by after yuki's left that sukuna's phone starts ringing in his pocket. at first, he ignores it. chalking it up to one of his frat brothers asking him to take some beer after they ran out. then, it rings again. attracting the attention of the patrons nearby.
he decides to pick up on the third time the call picks up again, immediately greeted with jin's scolding as soon as he did. you barely pick up on a, "he's not at a fucking party, trust me," before sukuna's standing up, making his way across to talk in private.
you're stuck with a very obvious yuuji trying to pretend like he's not listening in, the little boy inching closer and closer up until he was at the far edge of the booth. he barely manages to catch himself before he ends up falling, his fingers gripping onto the table in front of him.
"so, yuuji, what grade are you in?" you almost cringe at how old the question makes you seem, at how predictable it makes you. it's not enough to distract him completely, but at least, he's turned back to look at you.
"i'm in kindergarten, teach says i'm one of the fastest boys she's seen!" luckily enough for you, yuki decides to bring your food over in that moment. if there's something you've learned in these past twenty minutes, yuuji itadori doesn't play when it comes to his foodâimmediately scarfing down his fries.
sukuna looks tense as he speaks to whoever it is on the other side of the line, his shoulders hunched across his back. one hand holds the phone tightly against his ear, knuckles turning white from how hard his grip is, while the other is vividly flying in mid air. slowly growing more and more annoyed as the conversation progresses.
"are you uncle kuna's girlfriend?" the question makes you nearly choke on your burger, tears in your eyes from how hard you're coughing. sukuna even turns away from his phone call to look over at the commotion, a brow raised. you shrug it off, waiting for him to turn back around before you answered yuuji.
"no, i'm not his girlfriend," you sputter out, taking a large sip of water to clear your throat. wiping the tears away from your eyes, you notice yuuji's expression drop for half a second, "you're really pretty though. you should date him!"
if only if it was that easy. "yeah, we'll see about that."
you look up from your burger to see sukuna approaching, watching him shove his phone back into his jeans with more force than you deemed necessary. should you say something? or should you stay quiet? before you can think much of it, you finish chewing the last bit of your burger and ask, "everything okay?"
"everything's good, just some shit with my brother," he shrugs, reaching over to grab his burger off the table. it's not your place to push, you know that. but still, you can't bring yourself to completely ignore the edge in his voice. sukuna takes a large bite, tomatoes and lettuce flying onto the plate underneath. sauces splatter and smear across his lips, quickly wiped away with a napkin though.
"you sure?" you're prodding now, but sukuna doesnt comment on that. doesn't comment on the way yuuji's stopped tapping away at his tablet too.
"mhm. all good." any other protests were cut off by him saying these were the best burgers in town, that yuki's failed hopes and dreams were the best seasoning to be offered. you couldn't exactly disagree, the burger was pretty damn good. even if it sounded just slightly depressing.
he leaned over, wiping off a drop of ketchup clinging onto your lower lip with the pad of his thumb. his touch is gentle as it swipes across, collecting every last smidge before he brings his thumb up to his mouth. all the while, he doesn't quit staring at you, lips wrapped around his thumb. it tastes like artificial tomatoes and your lip gloss.
the air between the two of you feels more charged, much more intimate. you hate that you're the one to look away first, the one to give him any sign that he's affecting you. a stupid smile forms on his face but he doesn't comment on it, opting to eat his fries instead.
"so, what'd the baby end up being?" oh that's right. in between the mess with satoru and the previous months you spent ghosting prioritizing your mental health, he'd been left completely out of the loop.
"oh, i don't think i ever told you that you were right, baby turned out to be a girl," you mention casually, like you're talking about nothing more than just the weather. you take a large sip of your coke, slurping on the last drops clinging onto the bottom of the glass.
however, for sukuna, it came as something more than casual. he'd been halfway into dipping a fry into ketchup, the fry in question now submerged while he took in the news. the ketchup traveled up his finger the longer he stood still. "and how's she doing? everythin' all good?"
"she's doing good, doc's said she's growing past her percentile, which is a given, considering you knowâŠ" you vaguely gesture to the massive man in front of you. sukuna merely lets out a hum, proud of that newfound information.
"you got any pics of her?" did you ever. your collection of ultrasounds had been growing steadily since your first appointment, each one showing just how much your little girl had been growing in between. she's up to the size of a pineapple by now, more active than she's ever been and her heartbeat at 165.
sliding out the printed ultrasounds you had tucked away in your purse, you hand them over. she didn't look like anything other than a blob, really, at the beginning. anything other than a simple dot in your uterus. slowly and slowly growing into her surroundings as the weeks went by, each ultrasound showing something a new development.
from her facial features starting to take place to her fingers and toes taking shape.
you were lucky enough not to have any complications as of yet, to not have to worry about anything other than trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. it was a relief, a surge of luck that you didn't take for granted with each appointment you went for.
"want anything else? they got brownies, ice cream, shaââ
"i'll take an ice cream," you're quick to chime in before he recites the menu, mouth almost salivating at the taste. it's been a while since you've allowed yourself to indulge in anything sweet, even giving up your precious coffee in favor of keeping the baby safe. it wouldn't hurt to do it this once, right?
little yuuji takes the opportunity to steal a couple spoonfuls from your ice cream, smearing it all over his face in the process.
"come on, your dad's asking me to take you home." sukuna does quick work of putting yuji in the car, ensuring that his seatbelt's put on before opening the door up for you. his earlier anger's dissipated if only the slightest bit, less tense in the way he walks back to the driver's seat.
the little boy looks disappointed that his night out's coming to an end, arms tightly wound across his chest. "you promised i'd spend the night," he pouted, sending his leg flying across the seat, nearly pushing sukuna halfway onto the wheel. the man nearly scowled that a boy half his size pushed him that far, quickly readjusting in his seat. "choso promised he'd play guitar."
"choso can promise a lot of shit," sukuna mutters under his breath, looking over to be met with a glare from your direction. yuuji only pouts even harder if that's possible, bottom lip sticking out like he's holding back a river of tears.
"maybe next time you'll get to have choso play for you," you speak up, voice soft as you speak to the child. the assurance makes him sniffle, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. the sight tugs at your heartstrings. sukuna knows better by now.
"don't promise him anything. he's gotta be raised to know life's full of disappointments," his response comes out a scoff, completely serious. you almost can't believe you're having a kid with him.
"sukuna, he's five," you deadpan, eyes narrowed as you stare at him.
"so?"
you roll your eyes, turning to look back at yuuji. lightly placing a hand on his knee, trying to keep in mind he still didn't know you all too well. "you'll get to see choso again and you can ask him then."
yuuji doesn't stay dejected for long, nodding his head. "yeah, and we'll get to play mario kart and beat uncle kuna's grump butt!"
a reflection of sukuna (well, without the various tattoos across his face) stands at the door, arms folded across his chest. he's a lot smaller, less bulky than his brother, and wearing a green cardigan. the man pushes up his thin wire frame glasses with his pointer, a ragged sigh of relief leaving his lips.
it's as if sukuna had suddenly decided to step a library and decide to take the part, dressing up like an orientation guide. yuuji makes a show of putting on his shoes at a turtle's pace, slowlyy shoving them back on before getting out of the car.
sukuna steps out right after, hands pushed deep into the pockets of his jeans. you figure it's not your place to intrude. you stay in the car. yuujiâs feet trudge over to where his fatherâs standing, the two men getting into conversation that only lasts for a minute or so.
yuuji begrudgingly gives sukuna a small wave, a frown adorning his features. "bye, nice lady!" he calls out, giving you a wave as well. you return the gesture, watching his father lead him inside. sukuna doesn't take off until the door slams shut, until he's certain yuuji's safe inside.
the drive back to your dorm is one he's recognized by now, maneuvering through each street with ease. a couple students stumble across the lot, despite the harsh winter winds blowing against their skin and rattling the tree branches. he pulls up into an available spot, switching the gear onto park. you don't shift away from your spot.
and he doesn't make a move to unlock the doors just yet. "it was nice going out with you," sukuna speaks up, breaking through the silence. you wanted to argue that it wasn't a date, but you figured for a guy who was probably used to 'coffee and study dates' as a prelude, this was practically a michelin star restaurant type of dinner date.
even if he'd spent most of it talking on the phone.
sukuna didn't do nervous, didn't do this type of asking out. wasn't sure if he asked someone out since middle school and even then, it'd been to play a joke on some girl in the courtyard. "and i want to get to know you and shit, at your pace," he continues, eyes directly locked in on yours.
you didn't know him. he didn't know you. the most you knew was what he sounded like when he'd cum, that he struggled with calculus, what kind of reputation he carried himself throughout campus with, but when it came to what kind of coffee he'd drink in the mornings, what kind of music he preferred when he wasn't blasting the frat's party playlist, that kind of knowledge was lost on you.
once again, not exactly the ideal person you thought you'd be having a kid with. the two of you were essentially strangers tied by one night of passion. (if you could even call it that much)
you bit down on your lip, avoiding his gaze. the effort that he was putting into being a good dad wasn't a detail that you missed, an effort into trying to be a better person from who he was. but you still didn't know how to see him as anything other than the man who so coldly told you to get rid of it. sukuna can practically his heartbeat pounding against his chest like a drum, thump thump thump, with each second you stay quiet.
your gaze drifts downwards, attention pinned down on one cookie crumb scattered on the car's carpet. "you didn't want anything to do with me." it doesn't come with an edge, doesn't come hurtful, it just comes out as a simple fact.
the look of disgust on his face at the mere notion of even having a connection to you just months back still haunted you, still made you feel like a fool for even considering his words. "i just don't know what made you change your mind. why we can't just be strangers and simply.. cooperate on parenting."
that would be the best solution, wouldn't it? never talk to each other unless it was about your daughter's well-being, never having to see each other unless it was for a designated pick-up. but sukuna's never been known to be a selfless man. "then let me prove it to you," heâs quick to say, unwilling to hesitate as heâs done so easily before, "let me prove i'm being serious about all this shit, we can take it as slow, as fast as you want. just give me a chance." if you didn't know any better, you'd almost think he was begging.
Kento loves adoring you in the morning when you're still asleep in his embrace. He would slowly run his hands up and down your arms and whisper sweet nothings to you. âIs this the nightdress I got you? It looks beautiful on you.â And you reply in a half asleep state, eyes still closed.
And if you turn to the other side, your back against his bare chest, he would slip his arms around your waist and almost squish you. Face nuzzled between your neck and shoulder, inhaling your scent. Since your body is really soft, Kento loves squishing you. He would give your belly a gentle squeeze which would stir you from your sleep, but won't be enough to wake you up.
He would hold your hand in his and compare the size. Will press soft kisses on your neck and cheek and even your nose. Strong buff arms wrapped around your small body, pulling you against him, to keep you like this for as long as he can. Legs tangled with his. Hands gently stroking your hair.
waking up with husband!kento nanami on his birthday / sfw
malaysiaâŠ
kento could feel it so clearly, the sand between his toes, warm on the surface then cooler when his feet dig in. the smell of the ocean, breathing lungfuls of the salty scent. it all felt so real.
except it wasnât.
except he wasnât in malaysia, he was stuck in the underground of shibuya station instead. the smell clinging to his nostrils is the one of his own blood, exhausted feet constricted by the leather of his shoesâ his trusty pair, the one that had accompanied him on his commute to and from his shitty workplace, the one that walked him into deathâs hands.
âkenâŠ? ken!â
he jolts up with a gasp, eyes wide an hyper-vigilant. his throat is parched, he feels like he canât breathe in properly untilâ a hand. soft, feather-light and warm, resting on his arm.
âanother nightmare?â
you.
kento turns his head slowly, your worried face filling his field of vision. the only face he had promised to protect, to bring away from all the atrocities of his life, to never, ever, let that expression cross your features again. but unfortunately, his tainted memories managed to tear through the veil of sleep with their cruel claws, plaguing his nights.
âyeah,â he manages to croak weakly. âbut iâm okay now, please donât worry. iâm fine.â
your knitted brows relax, just a bit, when his hand reaches for yours, grabbing it to bring it to his lips, meeting the skin with a gentle kiss. âthatâs a relief,â you whisper, a smile finally finding its way onto your mouth. âbecause this day canât be anything but amazing, ken. happy birthday.â
you lean forward to kiss him, and he welcomes it, eyes fluttering shut. he can hear the wooshing of the waves outside, the breeze brushing the curtains, the occasional bird chirping.
malaysia.
when you pull back, you notice heâs staring, whiskey eyes lingering on every inch of your skin like he needs to commit it to memory. you shake your head, ready to scold him. âkenââ
but he doesnât let you, big arms wrapping around you to cage you to the mattress, the whole weight of the upper half of his body positively punching the air out of your lungs. âoomphâŠwhat are you doing!?â
his reply comes in the shape of kisses, lots of them, pressed in quick succession against your the side of your throat to tickle you. âken! k-ken no!â you start giggling uncontrollably, unable to get the 6 feet grown baby off you, playfully slapping his back.
then he stops, all of a sudden, face still buried in the crook of your neck. âmhhhh, five more minutes,â he feigns a sleepy, almost whiny voice. you shake your head, laughing, fingers sliding up his back to find the short hair at his nape.
âfine,â you murmur, pressing your cheek to the top of his head. âfive more minutes, but only because itâs your birthday.â
ââa/n. MY WIFI IS BACK AND I CAN USE MY LAPTOP AGAIN WHO CHEERED!!! also super quick blurb sorry if it's bunz i kinda forgot his bday was today
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
with your love life in ruins, the last thing you want to do is think about romance. unfortunately, between passive-aggressive notes and an infuriating neighbour named 4B who wonât leave you alone, love might not be done with you just yet
pairing: frat!jo x reader
content: mdni idiots in love, satoru as a faceless voice for a while, larping abt frats again, one (1) frat party scene, voyeurism, p in v, slightly intoxicated but consensual sex, cunnilingus, slight public sex/hidden sex 30k+
note: there are some images in this fic for immersion but if there's any difficulty in reading them, please click the alt text option! alternatively, you can read this on ao3 !!
When you eventually gained the courage to break up with your shitty boyfriend, you knew it would be a public spectacle considering heâs the vice president of Tau Delta Phi. What you didnât expect, however, was to find yourself spotlighted in the living room of some random houseparty, an empty red plastic cup in your hand and whatever had been inside now poured over your ex-boyfriendâs head.
It was almost funny watching humiliation and rage surge across Naoyaâs face, marked by that red-hot blush youâve seen far too many times, spit flying from his mouth when he yells that youâll regret this, heâll make sure you do. To no surprise he had you kicked out, leaving you stranded on the side of the road at 2am, alone, slightly intoxicated, and with a massive hole punctured through your concept of love.
Whatever Etsy witch he paid to ruin your life would have been hunted during the Salem witch trials because you never find peace following the breakup. You find out heâd been cheating on you with a plethora of girls, you find out the lady living in the apartment next to yours is moving out, and worst of all, you find out the free elective course you enrolled in specifically to take it easy gives you an assignment on love.
ARTS505: Screen Media Practice
Assessment 1: Observational Short Film â âLoveâ
Weighting: 30%
Due: Friday, 11:59 p.m.
Length: 3â5 minutes
For this assessment, students are required to produce a short observational film responding to the theme of love.
Go fuck yourself.
The day your neighbour next door moves out, you tear up at the news and let her believe itâs because youâll miss her and not because youâre terrified her replacement wonât be nearly as forgiving.
Because she smiles when you run into her at the bottom of the staircase and gives you small containers of food, nagging you in the way old women do about eating healthy and sleeping early. To her sweet, unassuming face, you tell her you will though you wonât, and sheâll nod like she believes you and tells you sheâll try to keep it down, kindly avoiding the fact that she can hear you wail at atrocious hours in the night when youâve assumed everyone has already fallen asleep.
She understood the highs and lows of being a newly single woman in this current social environment. But whoever moves in next? Youâre not so sure will.
Okay, so maybe you do miss her.
Because you find out someone new has moved in from the heavy thumping of feet crossing the floor, the thuds of boxes dropped onto the floorboards, the vibrations seeping into your own floors. It seems Naoyaâs Etsy witch still has their grip on you because your new neighbour is horrible. They play loud music in the morning, the afternoon, late at night, usually right when you have convinced yourself that this night you will finally get eight uninterrupted hours of blissful sleep. Thuds, banging, thumping, any onomatopoeia, your neighbour has done it.
Sometimes, they leave a pair of sneakers outside their door for two whole days, directly in your path to the stairs, so you have to step around them every morning. Their moving boxes sit in the hallway for so long they might as well be furniture, and youâve started dumping your tote on the tower of them whenever you dig around for your keys. Packages get delivered to your door instead of theirs. They seem to always be ordering DoorDash, too, the scent of something sugary-sweet seeping under your door until you start craving DoorDash yourself.Â
Itâs even worse today. Youâd come home with groceries instead of takeout, washed your bedsheets for the first time in a long while, lit a candle called Midnight Sunset, and sat down at your desk with the firm intention of brainstorming your film assignment. Then, from the other side of your bedroom wall, your neighbour starts assembling what can only be a large, flat-packed piece of furniture. For forty minutes, there is nothing but the intermittent scrape of wood, the clattering of metal parts, occasional low murmured curses, and one very loud crash that caused the floorboards to tremble, along with all the tiny screws that rattled in an echo. By the time the banging finally stops, your candle has burned unevenly, your tea has long gone cold, and the only thing written under love film ideas is: âkill himâ.
shoko: utahime and i are heading to the library to lock in
weâre inviting you so you canât say shit like thereâs always a duo in a trio
but donât actually come weâre probably gonna js make out
you: ?
utahime: sheâs joking weâre going to study
shoko: booo u whore
youâre a cockblock y/n
you: i literally didnât do anything
if anything utahime is cockblocking you
but iâll come if ygs are actually studying i need a fucking break
shoko: we arenât
utahime: we are
shut the fuck up shoko oh my god
shoko: whats with u y/n u sound grouchy
you: im going to kill my new neighbour
hes playing shit music through the wall like i miss the old lady so bad
shoko: you really gotta complain to the landlord or smth
you: hell no im not a snitch
utahime: ure weirdly compassionate abt the wrong things
hows the assignment going?
shoko: teacher teacher! im snitching!
you: ? do u want me to snitch or not
and its not going good at all how can i think about love when theres someone playing phonk in my ear at 6pm on a random tuesday afternoon?
shoko: have u even seen this person?? go up and give them a piece of ur mind or smth
also come lib
you: give me a sec
i might ive never seen them though theyre usually out at weird times and doesnt really sleep in their own room ?? but what if its a 40 yo gymrat and i get bodied
utahime: yeah thats actually scary
write a note or something
shoko: and then come library
you: give me fifteen minutes
Perhaps Shokoâs insistence on going to the library is contagious because youâre suddenly eager to rip out a piece of paper to spill just how much you appreciate phonk in your ears to your neighbour. Or maybe you really just want to tell your neighbour to die.
It starts off innocently enough, the last of your patience allowing kinder words and a light reminder that your neighbour isnât the only one living in this creaky, ancient building. But then it gets to you, the music, the thudding, the inability to remove laundry from the laundry machine appropriately, and you find youâre pressing the lead of your pencil deep into the paper until it almost leaves a mark on the table beneath.
You heave out a breath of pure catharsis and read it over, giving it an approving nod. This will certainly do.
Then, with your heart much lighter and a perk in your step, you sling your tote over your shoulder and head for the door. Instead of walking to the elevator after youâve locked up, you make a small detour to your neighbours door and bend down to slide the letter under their door.
There, problem fixed.
With a smile, you turn and walk to the library, oddly lighter for it.
Shoko and Utahime thankfully do not make out the entire time youâre at the library. Unfortunately, theyâre still Shoko and Utahime and the three of you waste time gossiping about the high school dead horse that just broke up again instead of doing anything productive. Your document for planning your films remains as empty as ever, only now itâs been shared to two email addresses so they can witness your writerâs block unfold in real time.
By the time you drag yourself back from the library, night has already settled in and you have to use your phoneâs flashlight to illuminate the path to your building. The hallway is hushed in that apartment building kind of way, distant television laughter, pipes clinking somewhere behind the walls, the hum of someoneâs microwave. Youâre fishing for your keys when you notice it, a torn corner of lined paper stuck to your door with blutack.
You blink, too tired to make the connection straight away, brain still slogging through the haze of a caffeine crash. But then you peel it free, turn it over, and squint at the scrawny handwriting on the back.
are you twelve? whatâs with the note passing come talk to me if you have an issue
also i told the landlord btw lol have fun with that â4b
You crumple the note in your hand.
That fucking asshole.
The landlord does, in fact, show up at your door the next morning wearing a stern expression and with even sterner words. You apologise with a tight smile, offering up the half-truth that youâve been under a lot of stress lately and didnât mean it. And then, because two can play at that game, you finally snitch on 4B too, feeling a sharp jolt of triumph when the landlord sighs and assures you thatâll be having a word with the resident next door.
You incorrectly assume thatâs the last of it. Because when you come home at the end of another long day of classes, thereâs a sticky note taped to your door.
snitch
A disbelieving huff slips out of you as you let yourself into your apartment, your tote sliding off your shoulder with a dull thump, hands too busy flattening the wrinkled paper to catch it. Five minutes ago, all you wanted was to collapse face-first into bed and sleep through the rest of the day. Now, irritation blazes through you so quickly it feels like caffeine, sharp and immediate, and before you can talk yourself out of it, youâre fishing a pen from your bag and scrawling a reply across the back.
you literally snitched first asshole. maybe if you werenât playing anime music at 7pm in the evening i wouldnât have to snitch on u at all
You stick it to his door on your way back from taking out the trash, pressing your palm against the paper just to make sure it stays there. When you leave the next morning for your usual nine a.m., another note is waiting.
you literally told me to die im not a masochist i wasnât gonna let that slide ps. ntm on the digimon opening theme thatâs something special to me
You write a reply during class, sticking it to his door when you come home.
and uâve been loud as fuck ever since u moved in here yk the apartment has thin walls right? also what the hell is digimon
It doesnât take long this time. Youâre still boiling water for a coffee when thereâs a faint tap at your door. When you open it, thereâs a new note stuck smack in the middle, scrawled in hurried letters. You glance up and down the hallway and see no one, and smile as you step back inside.
then just walk those five steps to my door and tell me next time? and ofc someone as unfun as u has never experienced the highs and lows of digimon in ur childhood it all makes sense now
You sip your coffee as you pen your reply.
i swear iâve knocked in the morning and u didnât open the door
so r u gonna keep edging me or r u gonna tell me what digimon is
Itâs only after youâve already closed your door that you realise you didnât respond to his second comment so you quickly take a pen and walk back to his door, pursing your lips in effort as you try to add another line against the door. Maybe youâre imagining it but you swear you hear footsteps pause on the other side of the door.
also i just searched it up and i canât believe my next door neighbour is 12 years old watching cartoons
You quickly scurry back to your apartment just in time, hearing their door open after yours just as you closed yours. A couple seconds later, thereâs a knock.
digimon is NOT just for kids
You stare at the note for a second, oddly thrown by the concession considering it had seemed too easy. Youâd expected another argument, maybe some smug reply, maybe an insult in even messier handwriting. But instead, he had simply folded.
For some reason, it feels less like a victory and more like a sudden end to something you hadnât realised you were enjoying. Your other neighbours probably didnât feel the same considering they had to listen to you and 4B open and close your doors consecutively for the past few minutes.
Still, you tell yourself as you peel the note off the door, a win is a win.
The next morning, you check your door out of habit and is immediately rewarded by a piece of a4 paper stuck to the front.
hey 4a,
first of all i want to say that iâve been very good and very quiet recently which i hope pleases you. please acknowledge my growth
â 4b
Because youâre lazy, you flip the paper over and write.
4b,
sure ur growth has been noted (?) i feel like thereâs more to this do u need something
â 4a
You slide it under his door before you can overthink it. By the time you come home that afternoon, there is another note waiting.
4a,
thank you for acknowledging my progress but i fear i have received your criticism and decided not to grow from it. maybe head out for the evening
also important question do u own a screwdriver ??
thanks, 4b
You frown then write back:
why?
Five minutes later, his reply slides under your door and you watch as the paper slips through completely before standing and reaching for it.
i give u a yes or no question and u still manage to dodge
do u own one or not? please.
â 4b
The next time you tape a note to his door, you also leave a screwdriver on the ground beneath.
u better give this back
Youâre halfway to backing your things for the library when his reply slides under your door. You pick it up while locking your apartment and read as you walk, catching the tail ends of some heavy thudding and hammering from the door beside yours.
people assume just because im a man i must have five screwdriver variants in my drawers or smth anyway im making furniture for my friend and its ikea :( wish me luckÂ
You snort despite yourself, tucking the note into your pocket as another dull bang sounds behind his door.Â
âGood luck,â you think as you walk by, and then, less generously, âand good luck to all the other people living in this building.âÂ
The library turns out to be the right choice. You spend three hours pretending to work, two hours ranting to the group chat about Naoyaâs latest monthly photo dump, and fifteen minutes with your fingers tapping away at your keyboard which is still fifteen minutes more of productivity that you wouldnât have achieved at your apartment so youâd call that a success.
When you come home, you brace yourself before reaching your floor.Â
Surprisingly, thereâs a lack of any noise at all. No thudding, no scrapping, no IKEA-related violence. Your screwdriver sits neatly outside your door, wrapped in a sticky note.Â
returned in one piece like i promised! im hoping u took my advice and left the building otherwise can u write your complaint in five words or less? im sleepy zzz
You look at his door, a reluctant smile on your face. For the first time since he moved in, you wonder if maybe the problem was never that he was impossible to live beside. Maybe the walls were thin, and he was loud, and you were miserable, and neither of you had known how to be people around each other yet.Â
Maybe, if you both communicated like normal neighbours, this could actually work.Â
If you assumed life would look up following this revelation, then youâre sorely underestimating the evil forces (read: Naoyaâs Etsy witch) conspiring against your happiness.Â
Because the next morning, it isnât some upbeat anime opening that wakes you up. Instead, itâs the mucus trapped in your airways and the pounding at your temples, dragging you from the dead only to make you feel worse for it.
You throw your duvet over your head and pray that when you resurface, your cold will have miraculously disappeared. It doesnât work, to no surprise, though that thought irritates you too. Then again, maybe thatâs just the built up annoyance from having your nose blocked. Miserable and stuffy, you close your eyes and remind yourself to take in a deep breath through your nose when youâve healed, just to not take it for granted.Â
Itâs times like this when you miss your good-for-nothing ex, times like this when you remember there used to be someone you could text without thinking, someone you could badger for some chicken noodle soup and maybe a hug and a kiss on your forehead.Â
Your own weakness pisses you off.
With great effort, you drag yourself upright and shuffle into your kitchen, pawing through empty pantries. Any plans of heading to that early morning tutorial this morning immediately leaves your mind at your pathetic show of strength.Â
Youâre halfway through grabbing cereal, any other breakfast option simply too tedious, when a loud voice cuts through the haze.Â
âYeah, she just didnât get it. And when you have to explain a joke, itâs already over. No dude, obviously itâs her fault for not being with it and not because Iâm unfunny, donât even kid.â
You frown slightly, munching on another chip, thumb scrolling past a video youâre not even sure you watched. Who the hell says âwith itâ?
âIf you donât fuck with with it, then youâre one of the people who arenât with it. Youâre without it.â He continues.
You make a small noise of consideration, vaguely thinking that you might get along with his friend as they seemingly voice your own thoughts.
Your neighbour continues, undeterred from his friendâs unenthusiastic responses. âThereâs no chance Iâm seeing her again. She did text me but Iâm just going to leave her on delivered. Is it cruel or is it saving myself from someone who called my Agumon keychain the deformed twin Charmander consumed in the womb?â
You laugh, sound muffled when your neighbourâs voice peaks.
âHe doesnât, Charmander is from a completely different franchise! And Iâll have you know that keychain was from an artist at Anime Con so when youâre picking on my little guy, youâre making fun of a small business.â
A pause. You scrunch your nose.
âYeah, I didnât mean to call it my little guy. If it helps, I gave my dick she/her pronouns like how a truck guy calls his truck a real beauty so sheâs not my little guy.â
You snort, crunching down on a chip. You wonder if that sweet salesman next door is as enthralled in 4Bâs love life as you were.
âDonât make such a disgusted sound, sheâll take offence.â
Thereâs shuffling from above as your neighbour supposedly shifts to a different position, now closer to you such that you could faintly make out the voice of his friend.
âIs liking Agumon such a big deal breaker for you?â his friend says, voice smoother than the whiny tilt in 4Bâs.
âHonestly, no. Agumon is my favourite character and Iâm not really comfortable sharing him with others because he means a lot to me. But then when I started talking about Digimon she asked me why I didnât just get a Pikachu keychain instead since everyone at least knew Pikachu and itâll save me from the questions. Pikachu. The mainstream corporate mouse.â
âOkay,â his friend sighs, âbut to be fair, most people know more about Pokemon than Digimon. At least she was trying?â
âThatâs the problem!â your neighbour fires back and the image of him in your head changes around his enthusiasm about digital monsters. âNo one gives Digimon the respect that it deserves. People act like itâs Pokemonâs weird cousin when really itâs more like Pokemonâs smarter, cooler, better-dressed older sibling who went overseas to continue pursuing their education.â
âAnd did you tell her that?â
âYeah, right there in the restaurant."
âYouâre never getting a second date.â
He snorts, apparently offended. âPlease, like I wanted one.â
Despite yourself you laugh though the silence that follows is enough to rid you of all your amusement. Awkwardly, you trail off by clearing your throat, feeling somewhat like a creep for letting your eavesdropping be known. All this talk about knowing to stay quiet and yet you catch yourself slipping.
You listen as 4B says a quick goodbye to his friend. Thereâs a rustle, a soft thud, and then his voice comes again, closer this time, like heâs leaned right up against the wall between your apartments.
âHello? Is someone there?â
For one fleeting second, you think that if this were a horror movie, he would absolutely be the first to die. Not that youâd fare much better, considering you answer him.
âHi.â
Thereâs a small pause, then, âNo way. 4A? What the hell, I thought you already left for class.â
Your heart skips, thudding against your ribs. For a second, you consider staying quiet and let the walls swallow the moment whole. Pretend it wasnât you, pretend like the two of you havenât been trading insults like you were passing notes in class.
There had been a fragile understanding between the two of you to never reach out. And yet, in this moment, you canât bring yourself to remember why.
You clear your throat, thick with the tail end of your cold. âWell it looks like you guessed wrong. Do I need to send you another death threat for you to keep it down?â
You hear him wince, a quiet sound muffled by the walls. âMaybe we should go back to writing notes to each other. I didnât know youâd sound like a 40 year old smoker.â
âIâm sick, jackass.â
He hums, unconvinced. Thereâs a beat of silence as he thinks of what to say. Then, âSo, youâre a girl?â
Your eyes roll to your ceiling as you sigh, whatever you were expecting immediately thrown away. âWhat exactly is that supposed to mean?â
He huffs out a small chuckle like he can hear the exasperation in your voice and finds it amusing. âIâm just surprised. I mean, youâre so mean to me. Girls usually love me, you know, Iâm kind of a ladiesâ man.â
That pulls a laugh out of you, rough on your sore throat but impossible to stop. âYou? With that personality? Consider me the one surprised.â
âIâm serious. Iâm kind of a campus celebrity. Girls flock to me.â
You hoist yourself up onto the kitchen counter, angling your back against the wall where his voice comes through clearest. âYou donât have to lie to impress me.â
Thereâs a pause and you wonder if your playful insults had gone a little too far in your sick state.
âOh, I might be into this.â
âWhat?â
âNothing.â Thereâs the faint sound of movement on the other side before your mysterious neighbour talks again. âI meant, what type of person do you think I am then?â
âConsidering you fumbled a first date because of a cartoon, I think you have your answer,â you coo with faux sympathy. âYou should be nicer to her since Iâm sure your cooldown for the next date might take a while.â
âFirst of all,â he says, apparently offended. âItâs not a cartoon. Second, she fumbled the date on her end. It was a necessary culling for me.â
You snort. âYou got dumped over Digimon, letâs settle down.â
âYou didnât even know what Digimon was until I put you on a few days ago.â
You shrug, despite the fact that he canât see the gesture. âAnd now that I know itâs even more pathetic. Agumon is the weird orange dinosaur thing, right?â
His whine comes through the wall, only cementing the fact that whoever is on the other side might be the biggest nerd you know. You wonder if he lied about not being a masochist considering heâs taking your insults pretty well. âHey, come on. Heâs just a cute little guy.â
âRight,â you draw out, unimpressed. âDonât glaze him when he might be the reason youâre a social shut in.â
âThatâs a new one. I am now, am I?â
âPlease,â you start, warming up to the idea as she speak it into existence. âIf women are all over you like you claim they are, why havenât I heard anyone come over? You and I both know just how thin the walls in this place is.â
âExactly,â he shoots back. âSo why would I bring them back here? Unless you want to be kept awake all night.â
That makes you laugh, the idea of this voice youâre hearing now having any experience at all extremely humourous, much less with the ability to go all night long. You can almost imagine the state of his room, littered with anime posters and plushies making sex feel like a group activity. If you looked up past his figure over you, youâd probably see neon light up stars on his ceilings.
âIf you can talk so much about my love life,â he trails off, voice deceptively casual and airy, âdo you have a boyfriend?â
That makes you freeze. Something hard and spiky settles in your stomach and you shift on the countertop, searching for a spot thatâs comfortable because for some reason, it feels like youâve lost it. âNo.â
The voice doesnât say anything for a while. âMy bad. Touchy subject?â
You shrug despite the fact that he canât see the gesture and pull your legs to your chest. âItâs fine. Itâs been, like, half a year. He was a douche anyway.â
âOkay, six months, not bad.â
Hearing the slight mumble from the other side of the wall but unable to understand it coherently, you frown and press your ear closer. âWhat was that?â
4B clears his throat. âIâm just saying maybe donât talk shit when I havenât heard you bring anyone over either.â
You roll your eyes, forcing your shoulders to relax and somewhat grateful at his deflection. âAt least I donât claim to be a microcelebrity. I keep my circle small and that works.â
âIs there room for one more?â
A laugh escapes you, genuine and surprised. âWhy? Asking for a friend or yourself?â
You can hear the smile in his voice when he says, âYou diagnosed me as a social shut in, remember? Iâm clearing asking for myself.â
âWeâll see, 4B,â you say, though youâre matching his tone with a smile. It doesnât, however, stop your voice from sounding croakier than intended and you have to painfully make an awkward gargling sound to clear your throat a number of times.
4B winces sympathetically, and he lets you get the worst of it out before speaking again. âSounds like you might need some water and then a nap.â
âTrust me, that was the plan.â
You start to wiggle down from your counter and grab something to drink, wrongly assuming the conversation ends here.
âAre we going to talk again?â he asks in a rush, and you huff as your feet touch the ground.
âWe live next to each other, genius. I donât think I could avoid you even if I tried.â
âAnd would you try?â
You sip from your glass, ignoring him.
âOkay, thatâs fine. Iâll win you over, just wait.â Thereâs no doubt in your mind that heâs grinning, you can hear it in the peaks of his voice. âIâll try to keep it down for you. And then maybe youâll be less grouchy when you wake up?â
âGo fuck yourself, 4B.â
You roll your eyes, glad that thereâs a wall between you to prevent him from seeing your smile. âGoodnight, 4A.â
Gojo Satoru isnât a man who lacks.Â
Heâs got the grades (barely, but theyâre there), the genes (obviously), the height (something even Suguru finds unfair), the charm (obnoxious), and a reputation on campus that both precedes and betrays him. He walks into a room and people notice. Professors sigh, girls nudge each other, guys scowl though itâll be his friends thatâll roll their eyes at his presence first.Â
He is used to winning. More importantly, he is used to having almost everything in a way that requires very little effort on his part.Â
So what the hell is he doing, lying on his bedroom floor where the voice of a stranger still lingers, staring at his wall like it might crack open and offer him answers? She hadnât even said much, not enough to leave this big of an impression.Â
Maybe it was the shock that the person leaving at ungodly hours in the morning beneath him was a girl. He doesnât know why heâd assumed otherwise. Maybe because the notes had always read so dry, so flat, so quick to snap back at him that somewhere along the way heâd started hearing them in Suguruâs voice.Â
Except the voice through the wall had been unmistakably feminine, and now Gojo was having the deeply inconvenient realisation that he might, in fact, be into that.Â
It wasnât even what she said more so how she said it, offhanded and easy as if talking to him was nothing, like he was nothing. and curse his enormous ego, he was Gojo Satoru, for godâs sake. Heâs got at least three people in his dms right now asking what heâs up to tonight and it would be as easy as typing back ânothingâ to have any one of them.Â
But none of them had left a note that told him to get his shit together. None of them made him laugh when ten seconds prior he was so ready to implode, none of them had him craning to his floor like some desperate victorian man listening to the ghostly whispers through the thin plaster.Â
Gojo drags a hand down his face, then turns his head again to look at it.
The wall. Plain, off-white, slightly cracked near the skirting board, absolutely identical to every other wall in this terrible building and yet suddenly the most compelling thing in his apartment because now, youâre behind it. Separated from him by a few layers of plaster and paint and bad insulation, close enough that he can hear your laugh if the room is quiet, close enough that he can picture you leaning back against the other side without ever having seen it happen.
Gojo runs a hand through his hair, frowning.Â
âThis is bad,â he mutters for the second time that day as he explores the foreign feeling in his chest.Â
The urge to hear from her again beats like a second heart in his chest, and the distinction between hear and see is important because now it feels less about appearances and more about something else, something he doesnât have a smug enough name for yet.
Gojo reaches for his laptop, then drops it back onto the floor a second later when even pretending to do work feels stupid when heâs one bad decision away from knocking on the wall just to see if you answer.
Because Gojo doesnât lack.Â
Yet tonight, as he sits on his cold carpet, phone face-down beside him and no urge to answer any of his unread messages, he realises he might be wanting.Â
The next time you wake, your fever has left you in an uncomfortable puddle of your own sweat, damp sheets sticking to your skin. A reluctant glance at your alarm clock confirms the worst: itâs 7 a.m. the next day, and you have a 9 a.m. lecture to attend. Somehow, youâd managed to sleep through a near-complete twenty-four-hour cycle, vaguely only remembering how you had stumbled out of bed for the bathroom or small bites of whatever you could find.Â
When you open your door to make a hasty exit, jammed toast between your teeth and the delirious hope that youâll run into a handsome guy around the corner of your block, you almost trip over something that ends your hopes (and almost your life). Thankfully, you catch yourself on your hands and glare down at the perpetrator.Â
A sports drink looks back up at you, adorned with a yellow sticky note stuck to its side. After looking left and right down the empty corridor, you pick up the bottle and read the note.Â
im not a fan of sick neighbour asmr â4b
You snort despite yourself, heading for the stairs. On the way, you flip the note around and pen a short reply, sticking it to 4Bâs door before heading out.Â
like comment subscribe and hit that like button for more!
Somehow, despite being sick, Shoko shows up to your tutorial later than you. You wave as she dumps her tote under the table and flops unceremoniously into the seat beside you.Â
âAre you still sick?â she asks in lieu of a greeting. âYou shouldnât come to class if youâre not feeling well.âÂ
âWhat makes you think Iâm still sick?â you ask in a voice that can only be attributed to years of smoking or recovering from sickness.Â
She gives you a look. âRight. So the eyebags are just your usual go to?â
âIt would be fucked up if i always looked like this and you just called me ugly.â You cover your face with your hands. âBut itâs not that bad, is it? I still have a reputation I care about.âÂ
âIâm genuinely afraid of telling you the truth because it might push you over the edge. So yes, girl you look gorgeous.âÂ
You roll your eyes, slumping to rest your cheek against your arms, looking at her from the side. Her phone vibrates and you hear it loud with your ear pressed against the desk, flinching slightly until she picks it up.Â
âWhat is it?âÂ
Shoko lets out an unamused huff and shows you the screen.Â
gojo (DO NOT ANSWER): wanna hit me up with the pre lab questions?Â
It would be a mission to go through university without hearing the name âGojo Satoruâ whether in secretive whispers or muffled in laughter. For one, heâs sport captain for some sport youâve never paid enough attention to remember. Heâs stupidly charming in a way that makes people sigh even when theyâre rolling their eyes with an accompanying begrudged smile. Half the girls in your course claim heâs flirted with them whilst the other half say theyâd punch him given the chance, before pausing and muttering something like, âbut heâs kind of funny, I guess.âÂ
The only other piece of information you know about him is that heâs loud, annoyingly so which places you in that category of girls that would more likely punch him in the stomach than kiss him.Â
You wonder how on earth Shoko could be friends with someone her complete opposite.Â
You look up and raise an eyebrow at her. âWell? Are you going to?â
âDo you read with your eyes closed? I clearly saved his contact as âdo not answerâ. If Gojo wants pre-lab questions that badly, he can go flirt them out of one of his fifty fans.â
You snort.âGlad to know youâre a bad friend to everyone and not just me.â
She shrugs. âHe thinks I owe him a huge favour for something he did for me a while ago when that is not true at all. Iâm sure thereâs other people he can hit up for answers. You know how he is, thereâs always someone trailing after him like a lost puppy.âÂ
âConsidering I donât know the guy, no not really,â you say, nudging your cheek more firmly into your folded arms, locking in for a storytime. âTell me about him.â
Shoko narrows her eyes at you. âYou want to know about him?â
âGirl,â you huff, âlike gossip. I promise Iâm not a groupie. I donât think Iâve ever actually had a conversation with him so donât look at me like that.â
âThat makes sense. Heâs usually only on lower campus so thereâs little chance of him showing up randomly, anyway.âÂ
âSounds like you donât like him,â you say, intelligently.Â
âIâve been stuck with him and Geto since high school,â she starts and you actually feel bad for her. âGod forbid I donât want to see him in my formative years, too.âÂ
You laugh because misfortune is always better on others than yourself. âNow you have to tell me. What did he do to you?â
Shoko doesnât seem amused. She looks you up and down, eyes narrowing at the smile on your face. âYou know, Iâm actually an incredible friend and as a friend who cares about you deeply, let me tell you this. You do not want to hook up with him.â
You splutter, lifting your head. âWhat the fuck? I just wanted to know about the guy! Can we start with being friends first, damn?â
âLetâs just say I know him,â your best friend continues, unfazed. âHe wouldnât be able to stay as just friends with someone like you.â
âOkay, and what the fuck does that even mean?â
âLook,â she says, and you open your mouth to cut her off because the telltale signs that sheâs about to change the topic are there. âHeâs also in Sig Kap.â
The words hit like cold water. Whatever fragile lightness had been carrying you through the morning dims all at once. Shoko notices immediately, of course she does, and some of the bite leaves her expression.
âI just thought you should know.â
You slump back into your chair, crossing your arms and looking down at your table, contemplating if you should start banging your head against the hard surface and end your suffering. âWhat a mood killer. Did you really have to bring that up?â
âIâm just saying, if you start seeing Gojo around, the chances of also seeing your ex is very high. Sure, theyâre not in the same frat but theyâre both still in that same group of guys. You know, inter-fraternity relations.âÂ
âThereâs a lot of assuming going on right now, like the fact that I would even see Gojo in the first place, but Iâll let it slide because I suddenly feel the urge to shoot myself in the head.âÂ
âI thought you were over your ex?â
You donât say anything for a while, trying to muse out the complex ball of feelings in your gut.Â
You had been falling out of love with Naoya for months before the breakup. Maybe even longer, if youâre being honest. It wasnât like it happened all at once, and there wasnât one dramatic collapse, no one, big, awful fight, just a slow and steady erosion. A hundred small disappointments, a hundred moments of realising he was more interested in having a girlfriend than being a boyfriend. He forgets the things you tell him, interrupts you to tell your own stories better, talks all pretty to your girl friends and then simultaneously talks shit to you about them when you ask him to stop requesting them on Instagram.Â
So if you do miss him, then you might have a masochist streak in you.Â
What you miss, maybe, is who you were before all of that. The version of you that believed romance was something soft and mutual and worth fighting for, instead of something performative that slowly hollows itself out while you stand there insisting itâs still alive.
âY/N?â
You blink and realise Shoko is watching you. âOh, uh. I am over him. I just wish I could have the pre-Naoya me back, thatâs all.â
Shoko makes a disgusted sound on your behalf. âDo not say his name. I gagged.â
âRight?â You shake your head and dismiss whatever useless thoughts still linger, forcing yourself to relax back into something a little more light-hearted. âBut itâs whatever. Iâve learnt my lesson now, frat boys are not to be trusted and dating one is like draining all the whimsy out of your body. I honestly donât care about him anymore and I wouldnât even think about him at all if I didnât have that film to make.â
That makes your best friend giggle. âThe one about love.â
âIs this funny to you?â you ask with a huff, but youâre grateful that she doesn't force you to say any more than youâre ready for.
âExtremely.â She nods, then dodges when you reach over to try and playfully hit her. âLook, Iâm sure inspiration will hit you soon. Love always arrives when you least expect it, and all that.â
You give her a long look, face unmoving. âI donât want the girl with the girlfriend of three years to say that. Get out of my face.â
Shoko laughs loudly, and you both trail off as the lecture starts.Â
The rest of class passes in the usual blur of half-listening and half-heartedly playing minesweeper on the google chrome extension open on your laptop. By the time you make it back to the sketchy, wilted building you unfortunately call home, winter evening has settled in for real, the kind that turns everything blue-grey and has you squinting down the street every few minutes just to make sure the shape in the distance is a person and not a fire hydrant. You had to use your phoneâs flashlight for this, and in the last few steps up to your apartment, it betrays you by dying.Â
Thankfully, you still manage to make it to your place in one piece.Â
You peel the note off your door on your way in, flick on the lights, and let your tote bag drop to the floor with a tired thud.
feeling better?
A soft smile tugs at your mouth before it fades just as quickly, replaced by a small furrow in your brow. Weird.
Youâre halfway to the kitchen to find the stack of sticky notes you left on the island in a rush this morning when the world abruptly cuts out.
âThe fuckââ
âOw!â In the sudden darkness, you misjudge the turn around the counter and slam straight into the corner of it.
From the other side of the wall, 4Bâs voice comes a little louder. â4A? You okay?â
You suck in a sharp breath, one hand nursing your hip as you try to steady yourself. âYeah. Just walked straight into my counter corner. What the fuck happened?â
Thereâs the sound of faint footsteps, then the creak of something shifting as he leans against the wall in his kitchen. âI think this is what they call a power outage. Correct me if Iâm wrong.â
âI know that, smartass,â you mutter, though not so quietly where he canât hear. âBut how did that happen? Itâs not even storming or anything.â
âWhatâs wrong? Scared of the dark?â
You scoff, already dreading the upcoming conversation. Despite this, you fumble to where that familiar countertop sits against the connecting wall between your apartments and hoist yourself up easily, leaning back so his voice is clearer when he speaks. âNo. We pay rent for this place, of course I want to know whatâs happening when the lights all suddenly cut.â
âI can text the landlord. If it happened to both of us then itâs probably a building wide thing so itâll be their responsibility. But all we can do is wait.â
You sigh, long and full of suffering. âThis sucks. Couldnât the power go off at midnight or something?â
âIâll let the landlord know your availability.âÂ
You roll your eyes and make yourself comfortable, relenting to stay for however long itâll take for there to be light again. You mourn the death of your phone then, holding the power button for some kind of miracle and get reminded that, once again, your life sucks and is only full of betrayal and tragedy.Â
For a short moment, silence settles between you, and suddenly youâre struck by the irritating realisation that beyond his notes, his terrible taste in alarms, and his frankly irresponsible attachment to Digimon, you know almost nothing about the stranger on the other side of the wall.
âSo,â you start.
âYeah?â
âWhat were you up to? You know, before the power went out and everything.â
âCurious, hm?â your neighbour replies, that irritating teasing tilt in his tone. âI was just about to lock in for an assignment so I can focus on the midterms coming up in a week.âÂ
You hum. âWhat course are you doing?âÂ
âPhysics. And I know what youâre going to sayââ
You snort. âNerd.âÂ
âYou know, some people find intelligence attractive.â
âDo those people also happen to be the same imaginary campus-wide fanbase you keep bringing up?âÂ
He laughs and you immediately lock onto the pleasant sound, not because you particularly care, but when your vision is knocked out, everything you hear seems amplified. Including the pretty tilt in his tone, the richness in his laugh, and the fact that his voice sits somewhere deeper than you expected from his petulant notes.
âWell, what about you, then? If Iâm the resident physics nerd, what are you?âÂ
You glance out into your dark apartment, the outline of your living room barely there in what little evening light still makes it through the windows. Your camera sits somewhere on the table, your laptop buried inside your tote, your assignment still waiting to be done.Â
âFilm,â you say at last. âWell, not film-film. Iâm just doing one elective this semester to boost my grades but if I could go back in time I would have picked that social media class everyone else does as a GPA booster.â
Your neighbour makes a sound of recognition. âOh, that! Yeah, I took that in my first year. Our midterm was to write a report on the significance of âget ready with meâsâ. Iâm so serious.âÂ
You groan, dropping your head onto your knees. âI know, my friend was telling me how she did that class too.â
âWhoâs your friend? Wouldnât it be so funny if your friend was actually in my class that year?â
You roll your eyes. Shoko would have definitely told you about someone like him. âI doubt it. We do the same course and none of our classes are ever near the physics buildings.âÂ
He hums. âYou never know. I get around.âÂ
That makes you laugh. âSure, 4B. Letâs stick to hypothetical equations instead of your hypothetical maladaptive daydreams, okay?âÂ
âYou pick on me too much,â he whines. âGive me something to work with, Iâm starting to really feel this power imbalance. Whatâs your film assignment about?â
You let out a long breath through your nose, already hearing his voice in your head and every possible jab he can make. âItâs a film on love.â
He snorts. âRight, because when I talk to you Iâm just overwhelmed by the love seeping out of you.â
You sigh. âKill yourself.â
âSee, this is what I mean.â
âAll you know about me is my voice,â you shoot back, not necessarily offended so much as annoyed. âIâve been told that Iâm a very benevolent and kind person.â
He hums. âMaybe not when youâre so grouchy then.â
âIâm not being grouchy.â
âAt least try and make your point come across.â
âMy point is that Iâm a delight,â you say flatly. âA warm presence, a gentle soul. Campus-wide rumours actually say Iâm beloved by all who meet me.â
âNow who has the imaginary campus-wide fanbase?â he laughs, and even though you roll your eyes, itâs harder to hold onto your irritation when he sounds that pleased with himself.
The dark presses in around your apartment, turning everything into vague shapes and corners, but his voice keeps coming through the wall like a little light you cannot see.
âOkay, then,â he says after his laughing fit. âProve it.â
You frown, even though he canât see you. âProve what?â
âThat youâre not grouchy. That youâre a person full of fun and whimsy. If your film is about love, then tell me one thing you love.â
You make a face. âThat sounds like worldâs worst icebreaker.â
âSomeoneâs getting defensive,â he sings, sounding far too amused. âCome on, 4A. one thing. It doesnât have to be deep. Actually, please donât make it deep, Iâm not emotionally prepared for that. Just something stupid that makes you happy. Thatâs still love, you know?â
You open your mouth with another complaint ready, but nothing comes out. Which is annoying, because it should be easy. Before Naoya, before the breakup, before the awful assignment and the worse timing, you had liked plenty of things without needing to justify them. You liked when orange and pink bleeds across the sky on the walk back from a long day of classes, you liked smiling at dogs when they crossed your paths on the streets, you liked the warmth of a delicious heated drink in your hands on a cold, winter morning. You liked watching people reunite at train stations, you liked filming light moving across your bedroom wall because, at the time, it had seemed like something worth keeping.
Now, asked to name that something out loud, your mind offers you nothing but static.
âJesus, okay,â he says after a beat. âThe silence is very telling.â
There is a soft scrape on his side of the wall, like he is sliding down to sit more comfortably. âOkay, Iâll go first since clearly you need a role model. I love when vending machines actually drop the thing you paid for instead of holding it hostage behind the glass. I love when you think a package is coming next week and then it arrives today like a tiny miracle.â
Despite yourself, you huff. âSounds like you just love consumerism.â
âI also love when a dog on the street looks like it has somewhere important to be. Like, where are you going? Do you have a meeting? Are you late? Should I call ahead?â
Fuck, that was on your list too.Â
âFine,â you say, shifting on the counter until your socked foot bumps against one of the cabinet handles. âI love when youâre walking past a bakery and theyâre making bread, but youâre not hungry, so you just get to enjoy the smell without spending money.âÂ
âHow very financially responsible of you. Youâre like the opposite of me. Anti-consumerism.â You can hear the grin in his voice. âOkay, next. Weâre making a list now. Thatâs how brainstorming works, right?âÂ
You sigh like this is a burden, like you are not already turning the question over in your hands. âI love when the train comes right as you get to the platform.âÂ
âReally? That sounds stressful.âÂ
âI love when someone in front of you in line is ordering something complicated and you get annoyed, but then theyâre actually really nice to the worker, so you forgive them.âÂ
âBecause is it ever that serious?âÂ
You roll your eyes, but your mouth betrays you by pulling into a smile. It feels strange on your face, like trying on an old jacket you had forgotten in the back of your closet, something that had once been yours. Itâs not a terrible feeling, you decide, perhaps just a little unfamiliar.Â
âOkay, my turn again,â 4B says. âI love when you see someone running for the bus and the bus driver waits for them.âÂ
âThatâs rare, some people have that sadistic bone in their body that wants to only see others suffer.âÂ
âWhich is why it makes those off chance moments better. Rarity increases market value.âÂ
âThereâs that consumerism bleeding through again.âÂ
A thought arrives quietly, not quite the decision you were hoping for in the library, but itâs a small, familiar itch of wanting to keep something before it passes.
âI love when someone laughs so hard they make the other person start laughing even if they donât know whatâs funny,â he continues.
Your eyes have gone to the table again. There isnât a clean, decisive moment to it, certainly no sudden burst of artistic purpose that you might call inspiration. You simply slide off the counter while he keeps talking, careful not to knock your hip into the corner again and feel your way through the dim apartment toward your camera.
âAlso,â he continues, completely unaware. âI love finishing a book or movie and getting so into it that you look it up on Twitter for everyone elseâs take.â
âSounds like you just struggle to form an original thought on your own.â
âIâm superseding my opinion.â
âOh, what a big word! Good job, 4B.â
You finally find your dust camera hidden by more important things, and take it back to the kitchen.
The room is too dark for the lens to catch anything properly. For a second, you nearly give up, but then your gaze lands on the candle sitting untouched on your dining table, the one you bought months ago because it smelled like vanilla and cedarwood and you had convinced yourself buying one candle would somehow turn your apartment into a Pinterest boardâs dream. Youâve never lit it.
But for some reason, the desire to make a mark in the wax comes to front and you set it on the windowsill without any more thinking.
The lighter takes three tries to catch.
âWhatâs that clicking sound?â
âWhat clicking sound?â you mumble, brows burrowed as the fire dies again.
âAm I going crazy? Just warning you but I have crazy keen hearing. And now with my sight gone, Iâm even more locked in. Sounds like⊠are you lighting a birthday cake? Is it your birthday?â
âThatâs what you think of first when you hear a light?â You donât know whether to laugh or coo at his innocence in your dorky neighbour. âIâm just lighting a candle because itâs dark.â
The candle flame shivers to life, small and uneven. Throwing a weak gold light over the window ledge and the lower half of the glass. Itâs frankly a terrible light source, dim but somehow managing to catch the smudge of your fingerprints on the window and turns the kitchen sink into a dark, warped shape in the reflection. When you prop the camera up against your water jug, lifted by two stacked coasters, the frame tilts slightly to the left.
You hit record.
âOkay, your turn,â he says.
You blink at the red dot on the camera screen. âWhat?â
âItâs your turn again. Donât think I didnât notice you going quiet there. Just because I canât see you doesnât mean you can get away with not contributing your part to this list.â
âAs if youâre keeping track of everything.â You settle back against the counter, close enough to the camera that your voice will catch. âOkay, hereâs one. I love it when people apologise to furniture after walking into it. Oh, and, when someone saves you a seat.â
He hums, turning the thought over in his head. âThatâs a good one. Could even be your thesis statement for your film, honestly. Something pretentious. Like how love is making room.â
You giggle. âLove is setting aside a space for someone.âÂ
âLove as chair politics,â he says smartly.Â
âLove is an empty seat: an interdisciplinary exploration into effort-based decision-making.âÂ
âOkay, you made this not fun by actually sounding smart. What the hell is effort-based decision-making?âÂ
âGoogle is free.â
You hear the grin in his voice as he bounces off your words. âSo is a tree, hang from it.âÂ
The laugh leaves you before you can stop it. It is sharp and ugly, startled out of you in a way that makes you clap a hand over your mouth too late. The sound echoes faintly in your dark kitchen, caught by the camera, your shadow probably distorted by the terrible angle and the water jug propping it upright.Â
There is a beat of silence on the other side of the wall. Then, quietly, delightedly, âOh, you thought that was funny. You think Iâm funny?âÂ
âPlease, it was a fluke.âÂ
âThat was the healthiest youâve sounded all day.â
You make an offended noise and reach blindly toward the counter until your hand lands on a tea towel. You throw it at the wall and it hits with a soft, deeply unsatisfying slap before flopping onto the floor.Â
He gasps. âDid you just throw something at me?âÂ
âConsider it a formal complaint.âÂ
âIâm snitching to the landlord.âÂ
âTell them to fix the power while youâre there.âÂ
âFine. But Iâm adding attempted murder on top of that previous violent note.âÂ
You shake your head to yourself, still smiling. If you were sane, you might take the time to wonder what the fuck you were doing, sitting on your kitchen counter, arguing with a man youâve yet to seen, smiling like an idiot at your own wall. And yet, you hesitate to move.Â
For a moment, neither of you say anything and a silence that isnât quite awkward settles over you both.Â
Then, with a sudden electric hum, the fridge kicks back on and the ceiling light blinks once, twice, and then floods the kitchen in a harsh yellow that makes you squint, and makes your neighbour curse in surprise.Â
âOh!âÂ
From the other side of the wall, he lets out a sigh. âBoo.âÂ
You laugh again, leaning over to check your camera. âBoo?â
âI was having fun,â he says, almost accusingly. âThe dark was doing wonders for our dynamic. You were less mean when you couldnât see.â
âYou mean when I was visually impaired and vulnerable?â
âExactly. It was bringing out your softer side. Or maybe it was all me.â
Looking at the camera, you see that the little red dot is glowing steadily on the screen, and only then remember what you were meant to be doing in the first place. Most of the clip is probably just your kitchen window, your voice too close to the mic and his voice muffled through the plaster, the two of you listing stupid things that barely count as anything.Â
Still, your fingers hesitates over the stop button.Â
On the other side of the wall, he shifts and the wall groans. âYou alive over there? The light didnât evaporate you when they turned back on, did they?âÂ
You press stop. âNow how does that make any sense?âÂ
You pick up the camera, thumb hovering over the saved clip. The thumbnail is dark and grainy, almost useless at first glance, but when you play the first second back, your own laugh cracks through the tiny speaker before you panic and mute it.Â
Your face warms.Â
Stupid.Â
So, so stupid. But you donât delete it. Instead, you set the camera carefully on the counter and blow out your candle still burning against the window.Â
âAnyway, since the lights are back, Iâm going to pretend to do my assignment now. Keyword pretend because I like to keep my goals realistic,â 4B says and the strange mood lifts and dissipates with the candleâs smoke.Â
âGood luck with that.â
âGood luck with your love thing.â
You look down at the camera again.
âYeah,â you say, picking it up before you can change your mind. âThanks.â
âFor what?â
You pause. Then you tuck the camera against your chest and head out of the kitchen. âNothing.â
Behind the wall, 4B laughs like he does not believe you at all, and you leave before he can ask.
You donât remember when but sometime along the semester, you begin to enjoy waking up. You hadnât grown a newfound appreciation for your alarm, no that was still a work in progress, but something about opening your eyes to start a new day no longer evoked a groan. Your next door neighbour did that for you instead.
One morning you were waking up to a quiet early morning and the next, you hear an alarm ring parallel to yours.
You hear it again this morning as you rub the sleep from your eyes as some anime opening plays, muffled by the distance. When you step into your kitchen, itâs louder, and you hear the soft padding of feet against floorboards as 4B wakes.
âMorning,â heâll mumble, voice rough from sleep, just as he did now.
âGood morning,â youâll say back and hope he doesnât hear the smile in your voice.
Heâll grunt in acknowledgement, heading for his bathroom which youâve come to realise shares a wall with your bedroom. Youâll get started on packing a lunch to take to campus while he takes his sweet time getting ready. You wake far too early for him, after all.
Youâll pause on your way out, just as you did now, tilting your head slightly to listen. If he hears your door open, heâll call out, âGood luck with your classes!â and if he doesnât, water too loud or too immersed in something else, youâll say, âSee you later!â
Itâs a routine youâve come to love.
Sometimes when he hears you sigh coming back from campus, youâll hear him close his fridge and fall into his couch. âGrey's Anatomy?â heâll ask loudly and youâll laugh softly, hand already reaching to grab your remote despite your drowsiness.
You tell yourself it isnât a big deal. Plenty of people have neighbours and plenty of people talk to said neighbours. Plenty of people probably know the exact sound of their neighbourâs footsteps in the morning, the difference between their sleepy voice and their smug voice, the exact pause before they say something annoying just to get you to react.Â
Probably.Â
Still, the thought follows you out of your apartment and all the way to campus, sitting somewhere uncomfortable behind your ribs. Itâs there when you catch yourself slowing down near the front steps because someone ahead of you laughs a little too loud and, for one stupid second, you think it might be him. It is there when you buy coffee and almost order an extra pastry because 4B once mentioned he loves sugary things first thing in the morning and frankly any other time of the day.Â
It is there when you realise, with a kind of quiet horror, that you might actually like him.Â
Recognising the telltale signs that youâre about to spiral, you decide to at least try and prevent it by taking a walk and touching grass. Unfortunately, you forget that there are evil forces against you because when you step into the main courtyard on campus on your way out, you immediately find yourself in hell.Â
Like, actual hell. Like thereâs a frat car wash happening in the middle of the campus kind of hell.
A row of cars lines the curb beside the courtyard, soapy water running down the pavement in bright, bubbly streams. Someone has set up a folding table with a cardboard sign that reads SIG KAP CHARITY CAR WASH in marker thick enough to be seen from across the street. A group of people have already crowded around the main attraction snapping away and laughing, the men scattered around yelling over each other as they try and organise the mess. Thereâs a JBL speaker playing Cbat and other such EDM trap that has you wondering if youâve walked yourself into a rave.Â
And standing in the middle of it all, shirtless and holding a sponge as flexes for his groupies, is Gojo Satoru.Â
Heâs hot. Thereâs really no polite way around it. His hair is damp from the spray of the hose, white strands pushed messily off his forehead and curling slightly at the ends. Water runs in thin lines down his throat, over the sharp cut of his collarbones, then lower and lower, disappearing along the hard planes of his stomach and tapering down into droplets that catch the sun on his abs.Â
Your eyes follow a line of water that continues further down which is definitely a mistake.Â
A deeply human mistake, but still a mistake nonetheless because it means you get an unwillingly thorough look at the narrow dip of his waist, the low-slung band of his shorts, the way his abdomen tightens when he twists the sponge out over the hood of a car.Â
You shake your head, rattling any more indecent thoughts from your head. Sure, fine, heâs hot as fuck. But who is genuinely stupid enough to get seduced into donating money because some guy with abs and wet hair smiles at them whilst simultaneously wiping bird shit off a windscreen?
A group passes by the table and drops a note into the donation jar.Â
You stare. Okay, nevermind. Apparently some people really will. Still, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. You donât have a car, you donât carry cash on you, and you donât want to entertain a bunch of frat guys especially after all youâve learnt this year. So, you adjust the strap of your tote higher on your shoulder and keep walking.Â
âHey, you in the band shirt!âÂ
Your foot catches slightly on the uneven pavement, and you make an embarrassing gesture getting back on two feet. Blind panic and something warmer, something more traitorous, jolts through you like a beam of lightning.Â
No.Â
No, because that voiceâ
Youâve barely rationalised anything before your head is whipping so fast over your shoulder you think youâve given yourself a cramp. Itâs instinctive more than anything, a kind of desperate hope for something indescribable, heart leaping up to your throat at the thought that a voice behind a wall has suddenly become attached to a body.Â
And what a body.Â
Gojo jogs toward you, shirtless and damp and unfairly attractive under the sun, towel bouncing against his neck with each step. There is soap clinging to his hands, water sliding down the firm line of his chest, one hand running through his hair as he shakes it of loose droplets.Â
He comes to a stop in front of you, grin already loaded. You donât even flinch when he flicks water onto your face accidentally.Â
âBand shirt! Running away already?â he asks. âI didnât even pitch you yet.âÂ
Gojo Satoru just spoke with 4Bâs voice.
Your 4B. Except heâs no longer a faceless voice in the dark. He is Gojo Satoru. He is shirtless in front of you. He is looking at you like heâs waiting for an answer.Â
âYou cryinâ? he asks, head tilting slightly as he glances at the droplets on your cheek. âIs the sun getting to you? We have buckets of water back there if you want to dunk yourself. Or maybe you want to dunk me and live vicariously through that? I noticed you staring.â
You force your mouth to move. âI donât have a car.âÂ
Unfortunately, the voice that comes out is wrong. Itâs too high like youâve swallowed your own throat and replaced it with someone doing customer service over the phone.Â
Gojo blinks.Â
You clear your throat. âI mean, I donât have a car,â you repeat, lower this time.Â
Great, now you sound like youâre about to rob him.Â
His smile twitches, one eyebrow raising slowly as he regards you.Â
âRight,â he says, slowly. âNo car. I think I got it the first time. What about a bike? We can wipe down the seat or something.â
You shake your head.Â
âScooter? Skateboard?âÂ
âNo.â
âHow do you get around?âÂ
âFeet.â
He looks down and you suddenly feel self-conscious of your shoe choice.Â
âWe donât typically offer pedicures but I could make an exception for you,â Gojo says with a wide grin. âOr we could give your shoes a good scrub.â
âI donât have anything for you to wash.âÂ
âWhat? Donât tell me youâre attached to that layer of grime you have on them.âÂ
Youâre so offended you temporarily blink of your stupor to splutter. âTheyâre not that dirty! Theyâre just well-loved!âÂ
âTheyâre clearly crying out for some divine intervention. Lucky for you, I might as well be the second coming of Jesus.âÂ
You scoff. âNo way. Maybe I like them ugly, okay?âÂ
Gojoâs grin widens. âSo you admit theyâre ugly.â
You hate that he catches it so quickly. You hate even more that your heart picks up like a trapped hummingbird beneath your skin.Â
Behind him, someone whistles. âSatoru, stop flirting and actually help!âÂ
âIâm not flirting,â he calls back without looking away from you. âIâm recruiting customers!â
He lowers his voice so itâs just for you. âYou are planning on being a customer, arenât you?â
You scoff. âIs this what the whole pitch is? Bullying peopleâs shoes until they donate?â
âNo, that was just tailored marketing.â He leans slightly closer, lowering his voice like heâs about to reveal a conspiracy. âThe real pitch is much more moving.â
âOkay,â you say, because apparently youâve lost the will to survive. âGo on then.â
Gojo flashes you another smile, or maybe he hasnât stopped smiling not even once throughout this entire encounter, and steps back, pressing one wet hand dramatically to his bare chest. He adopts a pitiful expression as he gazes at you. âEvery year, hundreds of cars on this campus are forced to suffer through bird shit, pollen, and the mysterious sticky stuff that appears under trees for reasons science refuses to explain.â
You grimace.
He continues, undeterred. âFor just five dollars, you can help one of these poor vehicles experience dignity again.â
âI donât have five dollars.â
âFor just three dollarsââ
âNo cash.â
âFor one encouraging wordââ
âNot happening.â
ââyou can support a hardworking student athlete in his fight against grime,â he finishes calmly.Â
âI think you just want to be shirtless,â you say whatâs been on your mind the entire time, letting yourself steal another glimpse of his chest. Is it just your imagination but did he just flex his pecs at you?
He looks down at himself like he has only just remembered the state he is in. âThis? Itâs a uniform. Works wonders for pulling in interest.â He gestures vaguely over his shoulder where another person has just dropped money into the donation jar without taking her eyes off his back. âSee? The system works.âÂ
âHow are you so blatantly shameless?â
He shrugs. âShame only slows you down.âÂ
Gojo steps slightly to the side when someone passes behind him with a bucket, and the movement brings him just close enough for you to catch the clean, cozy smell of soap and sunscreen underneath the damp heat of him. The towel around his neck drips onto his chest and a bead of water slips from his collarbone, trailing lower.Â
Your eyes follow it again. Good lord. When you force your gaze back up, heâs watching you smugly.Â
âSo,â he says, voice dropping a little, âshould I put you down as morally opposed to charity, or just immune to my charm?âÂ
âThose are the only options?âÂ
âHey, Iâm open to feedback. If you have a complaint, Iâm all ears.âÂ
âAdd a financially unavailable option.âÂ
âOkay.â He nods gravely. âMorally opposed, charm-resistant, and broke.âÂ
âI didnât say broke.â You cut yourself off when you realise youâve spent too long arguing with him when you had been so determined to walk away moments before. âForget it, Iâm walking away.âÂ
Gojo laughs and steps directly into your path, head tilting as he studies you like heâs trying to place a song from the first few seconds.
âYou have quite the mouth on you,â he says, and something foreboding settles in your gut. âWhatâs your name, band shirt?â
Something about his voice tricks you into almost answering, perhaps because 4B has spent weeks training a response out of you. He says something stupid, you respond with something worse, and you fall into conversation that way. But while they sound the same you force yourself to remember this isnât 4B through the wall.Â
You have only one goal here: get out before he starts connecting âband shirtâ to âfamiliar voiceâ that becomes âgirl through the wallâ because then youâll have to move apartments and potentially countries. So, you straighten your shoulders, lift your chin, and speak in the blandest tone you can manage.Â
âNo,â you say. âShort for none of your business.â
âThatâs a terrible name,â Gojo says, nose scrunching up. âWhat did you do to your parents to deserve that? Itâs going to look quite hurtful on the donation receipt.âÂ
âIâm not donating,â you say, already looking for the cleanest route around him. âSo thankfully, your admin concerns are none of my concern. Now, if youâll excuse me.âÂ
âYou wonât donate, you wonât volunteer, and you wonât give me your name,â he says, still watching you too closely. âBut youâll stand here and argue with me.â
âThatâs because you seem like the type who needs things explained slowly,â you quip back. âAnd besides, youâre in my way.â
His gaze flicks briefly to the open space beside him. You both look at it.
Then he looks back at you, smile unbearably smug. âAm I?â
You hate him because he is right, and because the longer you stand here, the more his voice settles into place with his face, and the more impossible it becomes to separate Gojo Satoru from 4B. You can feel it happening in real time, the two versions of him overlapping until the faceless boy through the wall starts becoming this shirtless jerk with wet hair and water dripping down his chest.Â
âYouâre very intense about names,â you say, forcing your voice into that same bland, too-flat register. âMaybe work on that before the next person you corner.âÂ
âRelax,â he says, voice dipping into something smoother. âIâm just saying, if a girl insults me this much, I feel like I should at least know what to call her.âÂ
âBand shirt is working fine for you. And if itâs not going on a donation receipt then I donât see why you really need it.â
âCan I guess?â he asks instead, already leaning forward like the idea has thrilled him.Â
âAbsolutely not.â You take a step to the side, causing him to promptly mirror you. âDude, quit it.âÂ
âSorry, sorry,â he says, immediately stepping back with both hands raised to showcase his harmlessness though itâs ruined by his smile. âGot excited. Youâre so nonchalant and mysterious it just draws me in, you know? Come on, Iâll leave you alone if you just give me a name, your real name.â
âNo.âÂ
âOkay, not a real one,â he concedes far too quickly. âJust so I have something to call you in my head when youâre already running through it so much.âÂ
âIâm not giving you a fake name either.âÂ
âThatâs so much worse,â he says, sounding wounded. âNow youâre not even trusting me with a lie? Iâm shirtless for charity, band shirt, Iâm vulnerable.â
âVulnerably harassing a stranger for her name in the middle of campus?âÂ
âStranger feels harsh.â His smile shifts a little, still playful yes, but the focus underneath it becomes visible. âYou donât exactly feel like a stranger.âÂ
You need to get out here right now.Â
You tighten your hold on your tote bag and start walking, not caring where your dirty shoes led you, not caring if it even led you back to that God forsaken carwash. Gojo doesnât give up, trailing after you and eating up the distance you try to place with his long legs, body facing yours even as you speed walk.Â
âDo I know you?âÂ
âNo,â you say. âWe donât know each other.â
âBut it feels like we know each other.â
âWe? Thereâs no we. Maybe youâve seen me in passing but itâs not something to obsess over. Okay, bye.âÂ
âPossible,â he says, nodding solemnly. âI do have a wide reach. Iâm trying to expand it, actually, which is why I need your name.â
You pass the front of the carwash table once more and someone at the front turns, practically jumping on the spot upon seeing Gojo. He ignores them, still drilling holes into the side of your face.Â
âFirst initial?â
âN. For No.â
âLast initial?âÂ
âO.â
âDoes it have an A in it?âÂ
âDo you know when to quit?âÂ
âIs that a yes?â
âNo.â
âNo, it doesnât or no, you wonât tell me? Or secret third option, No as in No your name.â He clicks his tongue like youâre the one being difficult. âSee, this is getting really confusing. You could solve this entire problem by telling me your real name.â
You keep walking for a few more steps but itâs getting harder to pretend you donât have a golden retriever trailing after your every step, and word, especially when heâs shirtless and a microcelebrity on campus.Â
âLook,â you say, stopping and turning to give him a piece of your mind. âI donât know you, you donât know me, so this has been deeply unnecessary. Letâs just leave it at that okay?â
His smile softens as he also stops, looking at you. âThen tell me your name and we can fix that.â
For one stupid, horrifying second, you almost do. His voice dips around his words, warm and familiar, and your brain gives you 4B through the wall saying morning, 4A, soft with sleep, and suddenly your name feels like something dangerously close to being handed over.
His hand lifts, reaching for your wrist at your hesitation but hovers short of actually touching, eyes holding yours for permission.Â
Then someone calls, âSatoru!â
His face twists, mouth opening like he is ready to spit out another excuse, when a towel hits him square in the back of his head.
He jolts, hand leaving the space between you to grab at the towel before it falls. âWhat the fuck?âÂ
You both look over in the direction of the carwash.Â
Sukuna stands by the donation table with another towel hanging from one hand, looking like he would rather be dragged behind one of the cars than be there voluntarily. He is also shirtless, because can you even see a guy with his shirt on in a fifty metre radius around you? Water drips from the ends of his pink hair, sliding down the hard line of his neck and over his chest, his skin still shining from whatever girl had convinced him to stand under the hose for a photo.Â
âOi,â Sukuna calls, lifting the towel like he might throw it again. âAre you done begging, or should we put a bowl out for you too?âÂ
Gojoâs expression immediately collapses into offence. âIâm not begging. I told you I was networking! Youâre really cramping my style.âÂ
âWhatever you want to call it.â Sukuna jerks his chin toward the cars. âGet back here. Some girl paid ten dollars because you promised to write her name in soap on the windshield.âÂ
Gojo ruffles a hand through his hair and you catch a glimpse of his undercut before he groans, ducking his head. âShit! I forgot I said that. Canât you take one for the team, Sukuna?â
âShe asked for you.â
The imaginary campus-wide fanbase turns out to be true, you think mournfully.Â
A few people around the table laugh, and Gojo turns just enough to argue back, towel clutched in one hand, wet hair sticking messily to the back of his neck. You take the sight of his back muscles as a sign to leave. So before he can turn back around, you step away.Â
Then another step. Then several more, fast enough that your tote bumps against your hip and your grimy shoes slap loudly against the wet pavement. Itâs not running, because running would imply guilt, and you are innocent of everything except being cursed.Â
âBand shirt,â Gojo calls behind you and because itâs not your name, you donât turn around.Â
You especially donât turn around when Gojoâs half-groan, half-laugh follows you across the courtyard, short yet familiar enough to make your stomach twist.Â
4B is Gojo Satoru.
Gojo Satoru is 4B.
Someone needs to take down the Etsy website.
You never do wear that band shirt again.Â
Not that it mattered much because you also donât really go outside for a week, not if you could help it. You want to call it locking in because the midterms are coming up but in the brief moments when you allow yourself the truth, you admit itâs because youâre preventing any chance of running into Gojo again.Â
Itâs difficult to do that when heâs your neighbour. Or, well, when 4B is your neighbour.Â
That distinction becomes very important to you. Gojo Satoru is someone you saw shirtless in the middle of campus using charity as an excuse to flex obscenely at the general public moving through their day. Gojo Satoru has wet hair, a stupid grin, and is highly dangerous because he has a face and a body and a set of eyes that pins you down,Â
4B is a voice through the wall. 4B is his alarm going off too loudly in the morning, all groans and curses as he heaves himself from the warmth of his bed. 4B is ranting about the latest anime heâs watched, whispering through plaster when it gets late, knocking twice against the wall when he wants your attention but isnât sure if youâre in.
So you let yourself have it. You avoid Gojo, and you keep talking to 4B.
After a while, there arenât many problems with having Gojo as your next door neighbour. Sure, he can get loud during phone calls with his friends but you quickly forgive him when he gives sheepish apologies and dials down his volume. And sure, his alarm is loud but after that initial morning when you grilled him on the cheerful tune, he had changed it to something more appropriate.
The way he laughs is loud, the way he sings as he cooks is loud, the way he says your unit number is loud, all bright like heâs been waiting to catch you the moment you step into your apartment.
It seems Gojo canât help but be loud. In every aspect.
You wonder if you should bring it up.
It really was unfortunate that your bedroom and his bathroom shared a wall. Whoever constructed this building many, many years ago must not have planned it out too well and simply settled for fitting rooms of different apartments together like tetris. And because of this, his bathroom ends up right next to your head when you sleep.Â
You also gather that his shower is pressed against the said wall that you share with him, if his groans are any indication.Â
You should probably bring it up.Â
But how does one even bring up such a conversation? Hey neighbour! Not that Iâve been listening but I can hear you jerk off in the shower. Could you stop?Â
In his defence, you relent, rolling over and pressing your pillow against your ears, he was trying to be subtle about it. You appreciate that he wasnât doing it in his room since that would certainly turn you off from whatever youâre eating in your kitchen next to him. But if he believes the rush of water is enough to muffle his moans, heâs sorely mistaken.Â
You roll onto your other side, shuffling when even this position isnât comfortable. Your thin sheets are tangled around your legs and youâre desperately trying to focus on the book youâre reading on your phone. But who are you kidding, your thumb has been frozen on the same paragraph for the past five minutes, mind a million miles away.Â
Thereâs a thud of something being placed down on the tiled floor, a slight rustle. And then, a low, breathy groanâso faint you could almost convince yourself you imagined it.Â
But you definitely did not.Â
You breath catches as you place your phone down and stare at the ceiling as if that will make the sounds stop. It never works. You tell yourself to just roll over again, put in your airpods and drown it out. Youâve done it before, you can do it again.Â
But your hand is already drifting down, sliding over your stomach, fingers brushing the waistband of your shorts.Â
The first stroke is unintentional, a simple slow press through cotton just to feel something. But then you hear him again, a sharper exhale, a whispered word you canât quite make out, and your hips shift, pressing your palm harder against your cunt.Â
Fuck.Â
You close your eyes and instead of the dark of your room, you see steam. A shower, his shower, the one right on the other side of this wall.Â
You donât want to think about Gojo like this so you settle instead on your 4B. All you know is the sound of his footsteps in the hallway, the messy scrawl of his handwriting, the sound of his door opening and closing, the low rumble of his laugh when he teases you. Itâs deep and a little rough around the edges. Youâve built a version of him from the sound alone, and right now, thatâs more than enough.Â
Fingers tracing the outline of your clit through the fabric, circles so light theyâre barely there, you let your mind wander.Â
You imagine stepping into that shower. The air is thick and wet, fogging up the glass. Heâs already under the spray, back to you, water streaming down his shoulders. You don;t want to see his face, but you can see the way his muscles shift as he turns his head ever so slightly, giving you the slightest glimpse of his side profile before the steam whisks it away.Â
It would be foolish to hesitate. You slide your hands around his waist from behind, palms flat against his stomach, and he laughs, the vibrations meeting your chest.Â
âFuck,â he breathes, voice deeper, lower with him so close to you. âLook at you, giving me a helping hand, hm?â
âShut up,â youâd probably mumble against his shoulder blade, fingers already trailing lower, through the thatch of hair at the base of his cock. âYouâre always so loud.â
Heâd be hard already, and you can feel the heat of him, the slight twitch as your fingertips brush the underside of his shaft.Â
âNo, I donât think thatâs right,â he says. âBecause youâve been listening, havenât you? All those nights wrapped up all pretty in your blankets, thinking you can get away with using me to feel good, thinking youâre an angel for trying not to listen. But you know exactly what I sound like when Iâm close, donât you?â
Your breath hitches as you wrap your hand around him, and he groans, deep and guttural, exactly the sound thatâs coming through the wall right now. Your hand moves in time with the fantasy, slow strokes, thumb pressing into the slick tip, and he leans back into you, letting his head fall against your shoulder.Â
âThatâs it,â he murmurs, his voice a low rumble against your ear. âSuch a good girl. You have no idea how long Iâve wanted you to touch me. Wanted to feel your hand on my cock for so fucking long, angel.âÂ
âSince when?âÂ
You stroke him faster, twisting your wrist the way you imagine he does, and his breathing turns ragged.Â
âSince the moment you opened that pretty mouth and told me off. Fuckâfaster, angel. Just like that, donât stop. Your hand feels so perfect.â
Your own fingers press harder against your clit through your shorts, and you let out a tiny whimper you hope he canât hear through the wall. Maybe he can, maybe he really does know exactly what youâve been doing. That thought makes you even wetter, a choked gasp escaping.Â
In the fantasy, his body tenses. His hand comes up to cover yours, pressing your grip tighter around him.Â
âIâm gonna cum,â he says, voice strained. âIâm gonna paint the tiles with it, and youâre gonna watch. Youâre gonna listen to me fall apart because of you. And thenâfuckâthen Iâm gonna fuck you.âÂ
His hips jerk forward, and you feel the hot pulse of his release against your hand, the way he shudders and moans your name (which he doesnât know, but you give it to him anyway, a whispered invention). His cum slicks the inside of your fingers, and you keep stroking until he pushes your hand away with an overstimulated whimper that might be your own.Â
He turns around.Â
You still donât see his face, just the broad outline of his chest you saw during the carwash incident, the water catching in the hollow of his collarbone. He pushes you back against the cool tile with one hand braced beside your head, the other sliding down your stomach, between your legs.
âMy turn,â he purrs. âIâm gonna fuck you right here, in my shower, where you can hear every sound I make. And youâre gonna take it, arenât you? Gonna be an angel for me and let me use this pussy like Iâve been dreaming about.â
You nod, mouth open, and he sinks two fingers into you without warning.
The gasp that escapes your lips is real. âGojoâ!â
âNuh uh, pretty,â he coos in your ear. âCall me Satoru. Câmon, say my name, angel.âÂ
You shake your head against your pillow, back arching. âThatâsâthat would be weird.âÂ
He slows down, taking his time with you, dragging his fingers against your gummy walls before sliding over that spot that makes you see stars, chuckling when you gasp. âIâm making you feel this good and youâre still talking back? Gonna need to fuck that attitude out of you.âÂ
You bite your lip hard. âSatoruâŠâ
He stills, before he presses down hard. âHm? What was that?â
âSatoru!â
His voice is a rough, airy thing in your ear. âThatâs it, pretty, youâre doing so good for me.â
Your own fingers mimic the motion, pushing inside yourself while your thumb circles your clit. You can hear him through the wallâa wet, rhythmic sound, faster now, and a string of words you catch in fragments. âYeah⊠thatâs it⊠take itâŠâ
You imagine his cock,thick, already half-hard again from the feel of you, sliding between your thighs. He lifts your leg, hooks it over his arm, and presses the head against your entrance.
âLook at me,â he says, and you try, but his face is a blur of heat and water, just shadows and the gleam of wet skin. âLook at me while I fuck you. I want you to remember this.â
He pushes in slow, and you feel the stretch in your fantasy and in your own body as your fingers sink deeper. You bite your lip to keep from moaning out loud.
âShit, youâre so tight,â he groans, his forehead pressing against yours. âYou feel that? Thatâs my cock filling you up. Thatâs what you get for listening in, for touching yourself to the sound of me cumming.â
He sets a hard rhythm, the slapping of wet skin echoing off the shower walls. Your fantasy-self clings to him, nails digging into his back, and he keeps talking, his voice ragged and dirty, exactly what you need.
âThatâs it, it feels so fucking good, huh? Bet you love this, love that you didnât know what I looked like but you know the sound of my balls slapping against your ass. Youâre such a fucking slut for it. Is it hotter now that you know who I am? Open your mouth and tell me, Y/N.â
You whimper, hand curling into the sheets. âIâI canât. Youâll hear.â
âI know, I know, youâre trying so hard to be quiet for me,â he mumbles, so soft and understanding even as he drives into you. âBut Iâm going to need to hear you, okay? Need to hear how much you want this.âÂ
Your fingers move faster, matching the pace in your head. Your breathing is ragged now, little moans falling from your lips that you canât hold back. You donât care if he hears, and maybe if youâre slightly truthful, you hope he does. âOh god, Satoru, it feels so good!â
In the fantasy, heâs close again. You can feel it in the way his thrusts lose rhythm, in the way his grip tightens on your hip.
âIâm gonna cum inside you,â he growls, and itâs a question and a statement all at once. âYou want that? Want to feel my cum dripping down your thigh?â
âYes,â you whisper out loud, into your empty room.
He buries himself deep, and the fantasy explodes in a rush of heat and words: âFuckfuckfuckâtake itâtake my cum, you dirty little thingâgonna fill you up so fullââ
You climax with a gasp, your back arching off the mattress, your fingers pressing hard against your clit as waves of pleasure roll through you. You hear yourself moan, a high, broken sound, and you donât care.
The sounds from his side of the wall change.
Thereâs a final, shuddering groan and the squeak of a hand against tile. And then silence, broken only by the rush of water from a showerhead.
You lie there, panting, hand still between your legs, your skin flushed and damp. You can almost smell the steam, almost feel the ghost of his fantasy-body pressed against yours.
The shower turns off and you climb out of bed, running away to the living room.Â
Youâre not a freak. You canât be.Â
Youâre a kind, virtuous person who knows no sin, who is gracious and angelic and trustworthy and not someone who listens in on her neighbour jerking it in his shower. Thatâs simply not who you are and not something youâd ever do.Â
Despite this obvious fact, your brain tells you otherwise. And when you are at war with yourself, what else is there to do but consult your friends?
You find Shoko outside the campus cafe, sitting at one of the metal tables with an iced coffee and her laptop open, clacking away with a frown. The chair opposite her is empty though not welcomingly. Itâs buried under her tote bag, a packet of cigarettes jutting out that would have her girlfriend at her throat if she saw.Â
You walk over, tuck the box further into her bag and under her jumper, before putting her bag on the ground. âYouâre smoking again?âÂ
âHi,â Shoko says, looking up briefly before slumping down over her laptop. âJust to get the edge off. Midterms are coming around and Iâm already feeling the effects.â
You nod, stealing her drink and taking a long sip. She looks at you again, squinting.Â
âYou donât look as bad as I thought you would.âÂ
âWhat does that mean?âÂ
âIsnât that film of yours due next Friday? Whereâs the panic and stress? Also, thatâs my coffee you whore.âÂ
You take one last long sip and slide it back over. âI have bigger fish to fry. But shit, Shoko, you look completely under it already. We can call off girlsâ talk for another day, I promise itâs not that serious.â
âNot that serious?â Shoko scoffs, hitting enter before closing her laptop. âYou triple-texted last night at 3 a.m. not making any sense at all. What happened? Did Naoya text you again? You didnât unblock him, did you?âÂ
âWhat? No! ItâsâŠâ you groan, covering your face. âItâs worse. Itâs so much worse. I think Iâm at the edge of the abyss staring down. Like whatever I do here on out will either make or break me.â
âOkay,â she replies slowly, clearly not expecting your response. âAnd who is this about exactly?âÂ
You wonder if you can tell her the truth. Hey Shoko, you might decide to start with, Iâve been crushing on the voice of my neighbour for the last month who I just found out is Satoru, you know your friend? Also, Iâve been listening to him jerk it for a while now and I have an inkling that he knows.
Instead of any of this, you whisper, âSatoru.âÂ
She flinches as if youâve slapped her. âWhat?â
Your finger comes up to point before you stop yourself, realising it was impolite to point, but your gaze is far too telling. She hesitates, taking in your horrified expression before looking over her shoulder to find Gojo stepping into sight, head turning about as if searching for something.Â
You almost delude yourself into thinking that when his gaze stops at your table, his eyes light up because heâs looking at you. You almost delude yourself into thinking that heâs making his way to your table. You almost delude yourself into thinking the smile he wears is for you.Â
Only one of these things is true because the moment you see him, youâve pulled your hoodie up until itâs almost flopping back over your eyes, leaning back and tucking your chin in.
Gojo saunters up to your table and stops just beside Shoko. Your friend groans, dropping her head into her hands.Â
âHeâs right behind me, isnât he?âÂ
Not wanting to speak, you only shrug uselessly. Gojo doesnât even spare you a glance, whining as he tugs on her sleeve to grab her attention.Â
âCome on, Shoko, Iâve been trying to text you for hours now. Ignoring me isnât going to make me disappear, you know.âÂ
âI know now,â she mumbles before yanking her arm away from his touch. âOkay, out with it, Gojo. I refuse to be seen in public with you so letâs get this over with.âÂ
âI need your help with something.â When Shoko only stares, unimpressed and not surprised, he presses on. âItâll be quick, I swear! And it isnât about the pre lab questions this time, I promise. Iâm cashing in that one favour you owe me from last year.âÂ
âWhat favour?â
âMe hosting a party that got you and Utahime together.â
Shoko shoots him a withering look. âThat wasnât a favour, we just happened to meet at your party. You didnât even know her back then.â
Gojo grins, and for a moment, you get lost in it. It would be so easy to tell him now and have that smile directed at you with recognition instead of casual politeness. You donât think heâs doing it on purpose, but you feel yourself getting smaller as he keeps talking to Shoko and only Shoko, sitting there silently as if being quiet and sipping at Shokoâs coffee might excuse your lack of presence.Â
Shoko rolls her eyes, turning to look at you. âSorry, Y/N. Weâll talk after Iâm done dealing with this kid.â
You wave her off stiffly and she narrows her eyes at you, sensing something off when you donât say anything. Gojo seems to notice you then, looking over at you briefly. He tilts his head at you before Shokoâs voice pulls him back.Â
âSo? What do you want?â
âI need help finding someone.âÂ
You choke on your drink, hastily wiping at your chin when they both turn to look at you, a range of concern across both their faces. You wave them off dismissively, making small sounds to clear your throat as they continue.Â
âFor revenge orâŠ?â
He hums, seriously considering her quip. âMaybe the opposite?âÂ
She narrows her eyes at that. âI donât know everyone on campus. How are you so confident you can come to me for this?âÂ
âBecause youâre doing the same degree as her and youâre a girl and so is the person Iâm trying to find.â
There's still liquid in your throat and itâs getting harder for Gojo to pretend like his friendâs friend isnât slowly dying from across the table. He lifts his eyes to study you, taking in the way youâre clearing your throat, struggling to keep quiet, and he sighs.Â
âHey, breathe through your nose.âÂ
You finally look up at him, the hood obscuring most of your vision though you still try to shoot him a look as if to say, oh no, really? and he smirks at that.
âI'm serious, just breathe for a second. Through your nose, come on. Itâll get rid of that coughing fit.âÂ
You close your mouth with effort and take a deep, shaky breath in. It goes in smoothly though the urge to cough still persists and you have to concentrate to not relapse.Â
Gojo pushes your iced coffee closer to you, wiping his wet hand on Shokoâs sleeve after despite her protest. You take it gratefully, taking in a few sips before clearing your throat.Â
Realising you couldnât get out of this without speaking at least once, you lower your voice as much as you can and mumble, âThanks.â
Gojo hums, accepting it easily, but his eyes linger on you for half a second too long before he turns back to Shoko. âShe's someone in your course doing cardiovascular physiology. She has a lab on Tuesday and morning tutorials on Friday."Â
You donât miss the way Shoko has been staring bullets into you though her eyes flicker over to Gojo every once in a while. âA lab on Tuesday, you say.â And thereâs something in her tone that has you looking up frantically.Â
Gojo doesnât seem to notice, nodding instead. âShe usually comes back late, at around 5:20? Which means her classes end around 5 p.m.â
â5 p.m,â she repeats, her eyes never straying.Â
You try to shake your head as subtly as possible.Â
âShe has the prettiest voice youâve ever heard and the softest laugh when she finds something amusing. But then when she finds something funny, like really funny, her laugh is super loud and bright and itâs honestly cool the way she doesnât seem to care.â
You kick Shokoâs foot under the table and she barely winces, realisation or something similar dawning on her.Â
âI donât need to know any of that, that wonât help.â Her lips quirk upwards slightly. âAnd why are we looking for this girl, Gojo?âÂ
He pouts at her words. âIâm looking for my neighbour.â
Shoko makes a gesture as if to ask if heâs serious. âJust go knock on her door? You literally know where she lives. Thatâs probably more than I could ever tell you.âÂ
âYou donât get it,â he says, tutting, wagging his fingers even. âWe have this thing going on and I donât want to ruin her trust by camping outside her door, for example. So instead, Iâll just conveniently come across her on campus because somehow our timetables seem to line up.â
 Shoko stares at him blankly. âSo stalking.â
âDonât be so crude, Shoko. Itâs not stalking if Iâm being emotionally considerate about it.â He leans forward slightly, hands on the table, and for a moment his voice loses some of its usual shine. âI donât want to scare her off, okay? I know where she lives, but that feels like cheating. If you know her, ask her first. Ask if sheâs okay with me knowing, or if she wants me to stay clueless and suffer with dignity.âÂ
Shokoâs expression barely changes. âYou donât do anything with dignity.âÂ
âI could start for her,â he says, then seems to realise what heâs admitted because he looks away with a small, helpless laugh. âLook, I know it sounds stupid, but I like talking to her. I like not knowing too much. I like that she can hang up on me by walking away from the wall whenever she wants. If I just knock on her door, then Iâve taken that choice from her.âÂ
For once, Shoko doesnât interrupt.Â
Gojo rubs at the back of his neck, grin returning but weaker this time, more embarrassed than smug. âBut also, Iâm going a little crazy. Call me pathetic, but sometimes she says something and I forget what my own point was. Sheâs mean in this really specific way, and funny, and then every now and then sheâll be nice like she didnât mean to, and it fully ruins me. So yeah, I want to know who she is. I just donât want to find out in a way that makes her regret talking to me.âÂ
You kick her foot again.Â
âAnd what happens if you do find her?â she asks, rubbing the toe of her shoe against the floor like you have injured her beyond repair. âYouâre going to walk up and say, hi, Iâve been listening to you through the wall for weeks and I reverse-engineered your timetable?â
Gojo makes a face. âNo, obviously not. I have charm. Iâll make her fall for me first.â
You stand with a start, slamming your hands on the table, knocking your empty cup over. You hastily pick it up, shooting Shoko as many SOS signals as itâll take for her to follow your lead. She lets out a slight laugh, especially after seeing Gojoâs bewildered face, and stands, albeit slowly.Â
âI think I have an idea of who youâre looking for.â
âYou do?â Gojo says, eyes wide and smile hopeful.Â
âI have a feeling.â Her eyes leave yours after a pause, moving to shove her laptop into her bag. âBut Iâm going to need to confirm it before I tell you. Wouldnât want to drag an innocent into your life.âÂ
He nods quickly and you mournfully think that he looks like a puppy. You didnât need that imagery, especially not right now. You tune out the rest of their conversation though it mainly consisted of Gojo demanding more details and Shoko shooting him down firmly. When you have your tote over your shoulder, Shoko tilts her head towards the door.Â
You all but run out. Vaguely, you hear Gojo ask, âWhatâs up with her?â
âBoy problems,â Shoko says before she catches up to you and the two of you walk out.Â
âWhere are we going?âÂ
You look over your shoulder, heart only settling when you donât catch any glimpse of white hair. âAway.â
âOh, so now you feel like talking.â
âPlease, Shoko. Please.â
She laughs, loose and unrestrained. âWant to tell me what that was all about? Gojo looking for some Cinderella and you looking like youâre about to choke to death?â
You spin around, hands coming up to hold her still by the shoulders. âWhatever youâre thinking, itâs exactly that. Shoko, stop looking at me like that, Iâm going to freak out.âÂ
âOkay, okay.â Her hands come up to wrap loosely around your wrists, not pushing you off, just holding you there. âTake a breath. He doesnât know.âÂ
âHe almost knows.â
âIâm pretty sure he only suspects something,â she corrects. âThose are two very different things. And if you really donât want him to know then Iâll tell him that. He might seem a little clueless in areas such as personal space, but heâs not a complete jerk. Heâll respect that.â
You let go of her shoulders slowly, though your hands stay half-raised between you like you might need to grab her again if she starts looking too entertained. âHe was describing me.â
âHe was describing his neighbour,â Shoko says, softer now. âYou are only panicking because you know thatâs you.â
âThat does not make me feel better.â
âIt should a little.â She tilts her head, cigarette-less and serious in a way you rarely get from her before noon. âLook, if he wanted to corner you, he couldâve knocked on your door. He literally knows where you live. But he didnât. He came to me because, in his own stupid Gojo way, heâs trying not to scare you.â
âThatâs the complete issue,â you sigh, folding your arms tighter across your chest. âThe issue is that heâs Gojo, the exact kind of guy I said I was done with. I know what these kinds of guys are like, hell, I dated the textbook example of one.â
Shokoâs expression softens and in the silence, something bubbles up.Â
â4B wasnât that,â you say, voice smaller than you mean for it to be. â4B was just mine.âÂ
The second it leaves your mouth, your face warms. Mercifully, Shoko doesnât pounce on it and instead nods slowly, looking away from you.Â
âI get that,â she says and when you glance at her, she repeats herself. âI do, youâre not crazy. But Gojo being in a frat doesnât automatically make him Naoya variant 2.0.â
âI know that,â you grumble.Â
âDo you?â Shoko bumps her shoulder against yours. âYou donât have to trust him just because heâs 4B. You also donât have to punish him just because he looks like the kind of guy who would have ruined your life last semester.âÂ
âSo what am I supposed to do?â you ask.Â
âFor now? Nothing. You donât have to suddenly jump out and introduce yourself, but you also donât have to shut up and ghost him forever. See for yourself what kind of guy Gojo really is now that you know both sides to him.â
Sometimes, Shokoâs rationality surprises you and you find yourself nodding along to her words, a small, dawning hope struggling out of its shell inside your heart. Just as youâre about to thank her profusely for her wise words, she opens her mouth and says, âYou should come to Utahimeâs this weekend.âÂ
âUh.â You blink. âWhat?â
âItâs a small party, like actually small,â she says before you can look horrified. âNot a frat thing. Itâll just be a few of Utahimeâs close friends, some drinks and food, you know. I havenât seen you come out of your apartment for an entire week, Y/N, itâs setting off alarm bells. Youâre hot. Funny. Maybe youâll meet someone there that doesnât remind you of Gojo or Naoya.âÂ
âOh my God,â you say slowly, disgusted. âWhy are those two people my only options right now? Youâre right, I need to go out.âÂ
âIâm sure you didnât mean it,â Shoko says with sympathy before groaning. âCan I say âI told you soâ yet or are you still spiralling? Because I told you so, I told you to stay away from Gojo but lookie here, whoâs scouring the campus for even a whiff of you?âÂ
You glare at her. âNot helping, Shoko.âÂ
Shoko bumps her shoulder against yours. âYou can tell him when youâre ready. Or let him figure it out slowly if you want to be annoying about it.â
You shove her shoulder back in return, and she laughs, and for a few steps, it almost feels like a normal afternoon. Like you are just two girls walking across campus, talking about weekend plans, not one girl trying to outrun the consequences of accidentally falling for her neighbour through a wall.Â
Then Shoko tilts her head toward the bus stop. âSo. Do you want to go back to your apartment or not?âÂ
You think of the wall, of 4BâsâGojoâsâvoice slipping through it, probably asking why you were so quiet this morning, probably making some stupid comment about your sleep schedule, probably having no idea that your whole life has just rearranged itself around his face.Â
You sigh.Â
âUnfortuntely,â you say. âI live there.â
Gojo wonders if he has an addictive personality.Â
Or maybe itâs just you.Â
But when itâs just him alone in his mind, hands running through his hair to try and catch every last runaway thought about you, he allows himself the truth. Itâs probably just you.Â
And the kicker is that he was only 90% certain you even existed. Suguru was the one who planted the idea in his head, that the physics had finally fucked him over and he was hallucinating the voice of a sweet, snarky girl, If he hadnât collected your sticky notes over the last few months, that statistic might have even fallen to a good 38% and even then he wouldnât be too sure if it was the twisted humour of his friends or if he genuinely had his own Wattpad neighbours-to-lovers arc.Â
He sighs and leans back into his chair, feeling it give way under the motion with a creak. He wonders, as he so often does these days, if you heard it. His body stills and he waits for an indication that you might be home, a soft chuckle, an exasperated sigh, or his favourite, that soft way you say his name (read: unit number).Â
When it doesnât come, he slumps.Â
Fuck, he was so far gone.Â
Itâs not like this is new to him, the wanting. Gojo wants things all the time. He wants the last pudding cup from the convenience store, wants Suguru to stop pretending heâs above gossip when heâs the nosiest person alive, wants Shoko to stop stealing his lighters despite the fact that he doesnât smoke because he needs them to light up his birthday candles. He wants good grades with minimal effort and attention when he enters a room and for his hair to sit right without having to do anything about it.Â
He also wants you.Â
Gojoâs phone buzzes against his desk and he only looks at it because heâs desperate from his own thoughts. Though he immediately regrets this when Utahimeâs name lights up on his screen.Â
utahime: party this weekend
show up or dontÂ
idc
He snorts.Â
gojo: woww dont get too excited inviting me im basically suffocating in ur enthusiasmÂ
its chill though if u dont want me there
i wont go ive got plans anywayÂ
Another notification drops down after he hits send.Â
shoko: do NOT come to utahimeâs this weekendÂ
that was a mistakeÂ
DO NOT COMEÂ
Gojo freezes, eyes blinking at the message. He taps it, opening up his chat history with her that consists of many, many time stamps and read receipts, and very slowly, something that critical thinking sparks behind his blue eyes.Â
Do not come, said so blunt and immediate and so suspiciously timed right after Utahimeâs invitation as if Shoko had decided his presence would cause a problem.Â
A problem for who?Â
Gojoâs mouth parts. Then, slowly, his grin spreads. His thumb quickly swipes out to re enter the chat with Utahime and glides across the keyboard.Â
gojo: actually ykwÂ
wouldnât miss it for the world <3
utahime: wait im uninviting uÂ
gojo?Â
i said u cant come
dont leave me on read you dickÂ
Gojo laughs, turning off his phone.Â
He turns his head toward the wall, still grinning like an idiot, thriving off the single crumb heâs been graciously fed after days of searching for you.Â
âYou going to Utahimeâs this weekend, 4A?â he asks softly, knowing you are not there to answer.
The wall says nothing but Gojoâs grin doesnât fade.
âThatâs okay,â he murmurs, phone warm in his hand. âIâll find out.â
There are two possible explanations for your current situation. Either Shoko is a liar (completely and utterly plausible) or her girlfriend has around 50 close friends. You donât put it past Utahime either but at least Utahime did you a favour and made sure not to invite anyone from TDP so you settle for shooting Shoko a withering glare.
Music thrums through the floorboards, bass rattling the soles of your shoes as you tap your feet subconsciously against the beat. Itâs loud, too loud for talking unless you enjoy shouting directly into someoneâs ear, though no one seems to mind. Certainly not Shoko as she leans close to Utahime, mouth brushing against her ear, eyes half lidded as she practically has her on her lap.
You roll your eyes, feeling slightly sour.
Shoko notices your bitter look and acknowledges it with a slight chuckle, taking your cup of orange juice and switching it with hers. âLoosen up!â She yells over the music.
Without many other options, you take the drink and cup your hand around your ear as if you canât hear her, just to piss her off.
Utahime snickers when your friend swats you away, her hand comfortably wrapped around Shokoâs. The sight of a happy couple sickens you and when Shoko yells for you to âgo find someone to make out with!â you do decide to stand up and leave, though not because of her words, obviously.Â
Youâre just getting air, maybe a refill. And maybe putting at least one wall between yourself and Shokoâs terrible, smug, in-love face.Â
The rest of the apartment is no better. Utahimeâs place is bigger than yours, of course, because some people get exposed brick and large windows while others get mysterious ceiling stains and a neighbour loud enough to seep into your own personal life.Â
Bodies crowd every available inch of space. Someone is sitting on the arm of the couch with a drink in one hand and someone else sprawled across their lap, fingers pushed into their hair. A group by the kitchen is screaming the lyrics to the song currently playing and thereâs two girls taking photos in the hallway mirror, swaying together, cheek to cheek.Â
Youâre halfway through to the kitchen when you see him. For a second, your brain doesnât even attach a name to the sight. It only registers white hair, too tall, black shirt, one hand loose around a red cup as he leans against the wall near the hallway.Â
Then your stomach drops.Â
Gojo.Â
The thought arrives with immediate, unreasonable betrayal.Â
What the fuck? Didnât Utahime promise you she wouldnât invite any frat guys?Â
Not that you care. You absolutely do not. Gojo Satoru could attend every party in the city and you would remain unaffected, obviously. It is just the principle of the thing. You had been promised a Gojo-free environment, and there he is, laughing at something one of the girls around him says, head tilted down so he can hear her better over the music.
There are three that you see, maybe four. Itâs hard to count when they keep shifting, hair shining under the cheap coloured lights, shoulders angled toward him like flowers reaching for the sun.Â
It would be easier to be angry, to roll your eyes and hate him in the clean, uncomplicated way you usually do. Instead, something dull and familiar settles under your ribs.Â
You turn away before he can look your way.Â
The drink in your hand is half-empty and you make it fully empty in one long swallow, grimacing only after it burns the way down and cursing Shokoâs name in your head. Someone near the kitchen cheers for no reason and you suddenly decide that if the universe wants to be annoying, if that stupid Etsy witch wants to fuck with you that bad, you might as well ruin yourself first.Â
By the time Shoko finds you again, you have acquired another drink. And then another, and then even more. She squints at you with the vague concern of someone who knows your limits better than you do but youâre already being dragged toward the cleared space in the living room by one of Utahimeâs pretty friends, and the music there is cathartic.Â
So you stop thinking. For the first time all night, you let yourself move without checking who is watching. Your drink is gone, your cheeks are warm, and the room is soft and bright, all coloured light and laughing mouths and hands in the air. There is no assignment, no terrible apartment, no faceless neighbour slipping into your life through the poor insulation, no Gojo leaning against a wall with half the party orbiting him. The houseparty is bumping, the ladies look good, the alcohol is flowing. There is much pain in the world, but not in this room.Â
Then an arm slides around your waist. Itâs muscled, warm, steady in the way it wraps around you, the scent of something masculine and fresh entering your peripherals.Â
For one stupid, glittering second, you let yourself hope. Itâs only the alcohol, probably. The music, even, the heat of the room or the betrayal of coloured lights making everyone look better than they are.Â
But the arm is firm around you, and the body behind you is tall, and when he leans in, his breath skims close to your ear.Â
Maybe.Â
The thought is so sweet it makes you dizzy and you almost lean into the hope.Â
âHaving fun?âÂ
Your stomach drops so fast the whole room seems to go with it. You turn, and Naoyaâs ugly face is looking down at you. What the fuck is he doing here? Oh, you are so having a word with Utahime about this.Â
And okay, Naoya isnât actually ugly, not in a way that has anything to do with his features. Whatâs really ugly is his expression, the entitlement in his smile and the slow drag of his eyes over you like heâs appraising something he believes is his.Â
His mouth curls and all at once, the music goes thin and static-y.Â
You shove him away and stumble a few steps at your own strength. âDonât touch me.âÂ
Naoya lets his hand fall, but not before making a show of it, palms lifting like you are the unreasonable one. âRelax. I was just saying hi.âÂ
âOkay, well youâve said your hi. Now leave.âÂ
He laughs, eyes dropping to your mouth, then back up again. âYouâre still so dramatic. I forgot how much effort it takes to talk to you when youâre like this.âÂ
You step back, but the floor tilts slightly beneath you. Fuck, too much alcohol, too much heat. Thereâs too many bodies pressing around the living room, none of them paying enough attention as you try to place distance between you and your ex. Your shoulder knocks against someone behind you and you mumble a sorry without taking your eyes off Naoya.Â
He notices the stumble and his grin sharpens. âYouâre drunk. Havenât learnt how to control yourself in this kind of places yet, have you? Itâs cute.âÂ
He leans closer, voice lowering as if the two of you are sharing something intimate. âDid you dress up for someone tonight?âÂ
Your face twists. âAs if itâs any of your fucking business anymore, Zenin.âÂ
âNo, Iâm serious.â HIs eyes flick over you again, slower this time, and your skin crawls. âDonât tell me youâre still pissed about being blacklisted. Sometimes things happen to teach you a lesson, you know? Looks like youâve learnt to finally put more effort into what youâre wearing again. You should be thanking me.â
âI am not doing this with you.â You try to sound confident but you both hear the pathetic slur to your words.Â
âYouâre not doing much of anything,â he says. âYouâre just dancing around hoping some desperate fucker takes pity on you and notices.âÂ
âFuck off, Naoya.â
His expression hardens, that little thread of irritation pulling tight because you did not blush, did not smile, did not give him even a crumb of the reaction he came looking for. âYou know, this is exactly why people get so tired of you. You make everything so fucking difficult. Iâm trying to be nice, and youâre acting like I cornered you in a damn alleyway.âÂ
âYou put your hands on me!âÂ
âAn arm, Y/N. I put my arm around you,â he corrects, like youâre the one being embarrassing. âDonât make it sound so ugly.âÂ
âWell, it felt ugly.âÂ
For a moment, you think he might finally drop the act. But then his mouth curves again, albeit thinner and meaner at the edges.Â
âCome on,â he says, taking a step closer and the crowd seems to bunch in to prevent you from leaving. âDonât be like that. We know each other, donât we? You donât have to do the whole untouchable thing with me.âÂ
The alcohol is making everything lag a second behind. The music, the lights, the heat under your skin now sickening, the disgust rising sharp and sour in your throat. You know what heâs doing, you know it so clearly it almost sobers you. That glint in his eyes as he shamelessly trails his gaze down your face and between your tits, the way his hand is already lifting to grope you, how his voice has softened to be more convincing.Â
You take another step back.Â
âI said leave.âÂ
Naoya laughs. âYouâre seriously going to act like you werenât leaning back into me a second ago?â
âI thought you were someone else.â The words are out before you can catch them and shove them back down.Â
His expression drops in a way thatâs almost satisfying, if not for the fact that it twists into something worryingly familiar seconds later. You hate that your stomach sinks. You hate that, even now, some stupid trained part of you expects the punishment that comes after disappointing him.Â
Naoya leans in again, close enough that you can smell the alcohol on his breath under whatever expensive cologne he sprayed on himself. âSo what was the plan? Get drunk enough that you could pretend it was an accident when you went home with someone?âÂ
Your fingers curl into a fist by your sides. âYou donât get to talk to me like that.â
âLike what?â he asks, eyes wide with fake innocence. âIâm just saying, youâre the one dancing around like you want attention looking like that. You canât get mad when someone gives it to you.â
âMove,â you hiss.Â
He doesnât. Instead, he says, âYou always do shit like this. You act so above everything itâs a surprise you havenât been humbled yet. Is that going to have to be my job now too?âÂ
âYou donât know anything about me anymore.âÂ
âDonât get such a big head,â he sneers. âYouâre still so easy to read. Still so fucking pathetic. Still need to feel someoneâs attention on you, need to feel wanted, just so damn needy all the time.â
Your hand comes up so fast that you know the weight in which itâll strike across Naoyaâs face will give you the nicest, most satisfying crack.Â
But before you can bring it down against his stupid fucking face, someone grabs your wrist and gently redirects it. It takes you a moment to register what just happened. Someone had cut cleanly into the space Naoya had taken from you, still holding your wrist behind his back, and you blink at the grey shirt until you look up and see white hair.Â
âIs there a problem?â Gojoâs voice is light enough that, for a strange second, it almost sounds like heâs walked into the wrong conversation.Â
Something imperceptible flashes across Naoyaâs face, something easily missed if you didnât know his every tell.Â
âNot your business, Gojo.âÂ
âOh,â Gojo says, âdonât be like that. It looked fun over here. What were you guys talking about?âÂ
You donât care for this passive aggressive approach of his. You yank at your arm. âI was about to slap him.â
Gojo glances back at you.Â
Youâre too drunk and too angry and too humiliated to care that his face is suddenly closer than expected, all pale hair and blue eyes and a mouth pressed into a thin line. You tug again, uselessly.Â
âIâm serious,â you insist. âLet me slap him.âÂ
Naoya scoffs and takes a step back like he has other things on his agenda than to be publicly embarrassed. âThis is insane. Youâre both insane. Whatever, Iâm done here anyway, what a fucking turn off.â
He turns to walk away, one hand running through his piss-coloured hair.Â
Gojoâs other hand snaps out so fast you barely catch the motion. One second, Naoya is tilted to walk forward and the next, Gojo has his wrist caught in one hand, fingers locked around him with an ease that makes Naoyaâs whole body jerk to a stop.Â
Naoya suddenly hisses. Thereâs a thin red line where one of Gojoâs rings has bitten too hard into the skin. Despite this, Gojo does not give him the time of day. Instead, he looks at you.Â
âHm,â he says, tone casual, as if you have asked him whether he wants another drink. âI hear you, band shirt, but thereâs an issue. If you slap him, you might get into trouble.âÂ
âI donât care.âÂ
âHeâs the president ofââ
You squeeze his arm holding yours. âI donât care. Heâs never been slapped before in his life and itâs obvious. He needs to be slapped, Satoru, he deserves this.âÂ
Gojo pauses. Then, very seriously, he starts to nod slowly, âI suppose that does make a lot of sense.â
Naoya jerks against his grip. âAre you fucking kidding me?â
Gojoâs hand only tightens, short nails digging into the skin, though he still doesnât look away from you, not even when you whip your gaze over to your ex, wishing that looks could indeed kill.Â
How did you ever date a guy like him? You stare at Naoya, at his ugly, furious, blotchy-red face, at the way he keeps looking around like there should be someone here to save him from the consequences of his own mouth. He keeps tugging and pulling but Gojo effortlessly keeps him there.Â
âBut it looks like you just got your nails done,â Gojo ponders. âAnd you could hurt yourself.âÂ
âIt has to be me, Satoru.â
Gojoâs eyes soften at that and he finally smiles, voice going lower. âI know.âÂ
Then he shifts, letting go of your wrist. For a second, you think heâs going to tell you not to do it after all, that he is going to be sensible in ways that severely go against his reputation. Instead, he lifts his free hand between you, palm up.Â
âOkay,â he says. âThen donât hurt yourself doing it.âÂ
You blink. âWhat?âÂ
âIf youâre going to do it, then do it properly,â he says, still speaking to you like Naoya is not standing there trying to pull free. âNo weird wrist thing, And donât throw your whole body into it just to put more force behind it. Itâll just make you fall over because youâre a little drunk and unsteady. Youâve gotta plant your feet.âÂ
Naoya laughs, no humour behind it. âGojo, are you serious?âÂ
Gojo ignores him. âAlso,â he adds, glancing at his own hand, ânow that I think about it, rings might help.â
He holds your gaze for a little longer before offering you a kind smile and lowering his hand to you, fingers pointing towards you.Â
âAre you sure?â you ask, gaze flickering up to his face then to his rings. âThey might get bloody.â
âItâs okay, just take your pick. I can always clean them. This chance might not come again for you,â he tells you in a similarly soft tone.Â
You reach out and take the one from his pinky finger because any other ring might be a size too big, and slide it onto your middle finger.Â
Naoyaâs face pales.Â
âDonât be fucking stupid,â he snaps, trying again to wrench his wrist free. âYouâre going to let her hit me?âÂ
Gojo finally looks at him. The smile he gives Naoya is bright enough to be mistaken for friendly. âHey, man, itâs none of my business.âÂ
The ring is still a little too loose, the metal heavy and cold against your skin, and your hand trembles once before you curl it into a fist and open it again.Â
Gojo notices and his attention is back on you. His voice drops just enough for only you to catch it again. âYou sure?âÂ
You look at him, then past him, at Naoyaâs pale, furious face. âYes.âÂ
Gojo studies you for half a second longer, something soft passing through his expression before it disappears beneath a bright, almost cheerful smile.Â
âOkay!â he says. âThen first, plant those feet and let your shoulders relax a little. If you hit him like that, itâll go through your wrist, and then youâll be mad tomorrow because he got your hand and your mood.âÂ
You nod and adjust.Â
Naoya jerks in grip. âNo, waitââ
Gojo doesnât look at him. âYou donât need a big wind-up. Itâll be painful even if you donât hit hard so no pressure.âÂ
âHey,â Naoya snaps, voice pitching higher. âSomeone get him off me.âÂ
âBut I want to hurt him,â you say to Gojo.Â
âYou will,â Gojo says, very simply. âBut you donât have to hurt yourself to do it. Youâre doing this for you, remember? To get it off your chest.âÂ
Naoya tries to laugh. It comes out wrong. âCome on, man. I said Iâm sorry. Tell her to stop being dramatic.âÂ
Gojo tilts his head at you, as if listening to a distant appliance hum. âDo you hear something?â
You stare at him, cocking your head in a mirror of his own gesture. âThe music?â
âNo.â He waves his question away. âSomething annoying. Anyway. Hand open, shoulders down and feet on the ground. Youâve got this.âÂ
You do as he says and then turn to look at Naoya.Â
For months, he had made you feel like every reaction you had was too much, too loud or too needy, too embarrassing, too difficult to love. He had taught you how to swallow anger until it sat heavy in your stomach and called that maturity. He had always walked away with his shoulders up because you were always the one trying not to make a scene.Â
And now, youâre finally going to leave a mark on him.Â
You slap him.Â
The sound cracks across the room, sharp enough to split cleanly through the music. Naoyaâs head snaps to the side at the force of it, mouth open, but finally, finally, nothing leaves it.Â
Your palm burns immediately, a bright sting rushing up your arm and the ring presses back into your finger, cold against the heat of your skin. It hurts a little. But it hurts so good.Â
Gojo lets go of Naoya at once. Your ex stumbles back, one hand flying to his cheek, eyes wide with shock. âYou fuckingââ
âHoly shit!â Gojo says loudly. âIs that Naoya from TDP? Dude, what are you doing here, do you even know Utahime?â
Naoyaâs face drops slightly in confusion. âWhat?âÂ
Gojoâs voice carries easily over the music now. âNo, seriously. Arenât you the guy that one post was made about in the group chat? I wouldnât have come to a party when you havenât even said anything about the allegations.âÂ
The crowd surrounding you instantly starts murmuring amongst themselves, shooting Naoya dirty looks.Â
Naoya grits his teeth, anger flooding his face all over again. âI didnâtââ
âItâs weird, I really donât think Utahime would have invited you.â
âI was invited.â
âBy who?â
Naoya opens his mouth but nothing comes out fast enough.
A girl by the couch scoffs. âUtahime would never invite him.â
âYeah, didnât she literally say not to let him in?â
âHow did he get inside?â
Someone near you nods along to his words, and a girl wraps her arms around you, running her hand up and down your side. It could have so easily gone wrong, Naoya yelling something about being hurt and suddenly you became the problem. The drunk girl, the angry ex seeking vengeance. The one who slapped someone in the middle of the party.Â
But now everyone is looking at him. And Naoya seems to realise this too because his eyes dart around the room, searching for sympathy and finding none.Â
âCreep,â someone mutters.
âGet him out,â another voice says.
Naoya points toward Gojo, furious and scared in a way you have never seen before. âHeâs lying. Sheâs drunk and sheâs always beenââÂ
âUgh, spare me, I know you were creeping around me too!âÂ
Gojo doesnât stick around for the aftermath and you donât either, his hand closing around your other hand to gently tug you through the growing crowd, his broad back guiding the way.Â
Itâs nice, you realise, which is a stupid thing to immediately think of next after slapping your ex-boyfriend in the middle of a party. Still, it is.Â
The way he moves through the room without dragging you behind him, the way people part for him easily, but he keeps glancing back anyway, like heâs making sure youâre still there and not swallowed by the music and body and the roaring awareness of what youâve just done. His hand is warm around yours, loose enough that you could pull away if you wanted to, firm enough that you donât have to think too hard about where youâre going.Â
You let yourself follow. Past the kitchen, past the hallway mirror, past two girls whispering near the wall, both of them looking over your shoulder toward where Naoya had disappeared, their expression twisted with disgust.Â
The noise dulls a little near the back of the house. The music still reaches here, bass-heavy and insistent, but the air feels cooler, less packed with breath and perfume. Just before the back door, Gojo stops.Â
You nearly bump into him and he chuckles, turning around.
âCareful.â He looks you up and down not unpleasantly. âHowâs the hand?âÂ
âItâs fine,â you say automatically. Then you pause, looking down.Â
His ring is still sitting crooked on your middle finger, too loose and faintly warm now from your skin. Your palm is red and your fingers tingle but the slap keeps replaying in your head in satisfying flashes: the crack of it, Naoyaâs face turning, and any regret you might have felt dissipates.Â
âOkay, it might sting a little.âÂ
Gojoâs expression softens. âLet me see it.âÂ
You lift your other hand not in his, and he reaches out to take it, a sharp thrill running up your arm when he makes contact. He turns your hand over carefully, fingers light and ticklish against your palm as he inspects it. For a moment, you wonder about this gentleness that he shows you, how sharply it contrasts with the way he had held Naoya hard enough to draw blood.
His fingers move over your palm with careful attention, thumb brushing beneath the base of your fingers, moving down to the sensitive skin of your wrist and making you shiver. The hallway is too warm and too cold at once, music pulsing behind you in dull waves, but all you can really feel is the shape of his hand around yours and the ridiculous, traitorous flutter under your ribs.Â
âYouâll live,â he says eventually, fingers splaying over your wrist and forearm before dropping. âAnd youâre staring.âÂ
You blink when you process that heâs looking right into your eyes, his lips quirked into a small smile as he watches you.Â
âThanks for helping me slap my ex.âÂ
He shrugs. âItâs no problem, band shirt. I think my ring did the bulk of everything.âÂ
You look down at your hand and notice that heâs right. The silver sits crooked on your finger, too loose and too pretty, catching the hallway light like it has any right to look innocent after drawing blood across Naoyaâs cheek. Thank you, pretty silver ring, for your service. May your efforts haunt him for at least a few business days.
Gojo lowers his hand under yours again and for a second, you think that heâs going to ask for it back. Instead, he lifts your hand slowly such that you have the chance to pull away. His eyes stay on yours until the last moment, before he lowers his mouth and presses a soft kiss to the ring.Â
Technically, itâs his ring and not your hand he kissed. Still, the warmth of his breath brushes your skin, and something bright and winged breaks loose in your stomach. Your fingers twitch once in his hold as your breath catches. His lashes lower into the kiss, before he opens his eyes again and looks up at you through them.Â
He smiles at you cheekily. Â
âCanât run away from me now, can you?â he asks, lowering your hand just enough to comfortably interlace his own fingers with yours. âI never did give you my name that one time before but itâs Gojo Satoru, though it looks like you already know. Come sit with me.âÂ
âMeâ ends up being him, and also his friends. Which is not as awkward as you thought it would be, mostly because the second Gojo opens the back door, Utahime and Shoko both sit up from where theyâve been lounging together on an outdoor chair like two cats disturbed mid-nap. Their fingers point at you at the exact same time.Â
âYou!â
âWith him?âÂ
âHi guys.â You drop your hand from his under the piercing gaze of your friends. âHowâs the party?â
Gojo doesnât say anything, only stepping around you with that easy, unbothered smile of his, and joining a conversation with some guys standing around the bonfire.Â
Utahimeâs backyard has been transformed into something of a cozy hangout spot. Cheap fairylights hang crooked from the overhead roof, blinking out of sink, and a few mismatched outdoor chairs and beanbags sit in a loose circle around a low table cluttered with cups, jackets, and a neat stack of cards. Thereâs a small lit fire further out, but you drag your eyes away from its company to focus on the people you do know.Â
Shoko shuffles closer to her girlfriend, patting the space next to her which you gratefully take. âHold on, so did you find someone to make out with after all? And was itâŠ?âÂ
You quickly look back at Gojo who is now talking quietly with someone you donât know, the long-haired boy nodding in serious thought at whatever is leaving his mouth. His eyes slide to you and when they meet yours, you flinch, looking away.
âNo! Thatâs notâGod, my head is killing me. I didnât make out with anyone, okay? Iâm not here to find someone to hook up with.âÂ
âWhy are you here then?âÂ
âYou threatened me to come.â You point out.Â
âWell, you werenât going to not come, thatâs not in the cards.â Shoko presses you another cup into your hands and, because you have yet to learn your lesson from earlier, you take a trusting sip.Â
You almost choke out the battery acid when it hits your tongue, covering your mouth with your arm as you glare at your friends. âOh, ew, Shoko. Seriously? Canât you make something good for once? Your jungle juice is always so ass.âÂ
âThatâs how you know it works. Tongue loosened up yet? Why did you just walk out with Gojo? Whatâs going on between you two? Does he know now?âÂ
You lean back into the seat at Shokoâs interrogation, and take another deep chug of Shokoâs disgusting drink. âBefore you grill me, I have to grill you. Want to tell me what Naoya is doing at your party, Utahime?âÂ
Utahime blinks. âNaoya is at my party?âÂ
âWas,â you correct yourself. âI think he got the message after I slapped him that he shouldnât be here.âÂ
âYou slapped him?â Utahime sits up with a bright smile. âOh my God, tell me you got that on video! To clear my name though, I definitely did not invite him. He must have snuck in or something.âÂ
âWell, basically everyone saw so Iâm sure thereâs a video on someoneâs story by now.â You look back at Gojo now standing with just one other guy. âSatoru just happened to be there at the right place and time to help. Thatâs it.âÂ
When your friends donât immediately press for more questions, you turn back and find them whispering and giggling to each other. When they feel your suspicious gaze, Shoko looks up. âSorry, yes, right. Gojo saved you.â
Utahime clears her throat suddenly. âWait, shut up. Three oâclock.âÂ
You stiffen when a weight presses against you, someoneâs body dropping into the narrow gap between you and the armrest.Â
You instinctively shuffle closer to Shoko to make room, though there is not enough room to make. Your thigh presses ages his, shoulder brushing against yours, and his arm slides along the back of the chair, not quite touching your neck, but close enough that your skin tingles.Â
Shoko mutters, âThis chair is clearly only meant for three.âÂ
âIâd hate to think you donât want me here,â Gojo says cheerfully. âWhat are we talking about? Me?âÂ
âYour head is so far up your ass you only ever think of yourself,â Utahime grumbles.Â
You freeze, unsure where your limbs should go when youâre pressed up to the person behind the faceless voice in your walls. Admittedly, this realisation comes a little late. You should have armed your walled defenses the moment Gojo had grabbed your wrist and pulled you behind him, should have simply walked away after slapping Naoya (that was a non-negotiable, canon event) instead of letting him drag you back where youâre now trapped. Because he doesnât know youâre her. And right now when youâre drunk and unsteady on your feet and thoughts? This might be the worst possible time for him to find out.Â
âThat over there is Suguru,â Gojo suddenly leans in to say, breath ghosting the shell of your ear. His voice sends shivers down your neck and along your spine, every sensation suddenly all too much. The fabric that isnât your own grazing high on your thigh, his hair tickling your cheek, his feet nudging yours slightly so you can move over just a little bit more for him.Â
âThatâs Kento, with the frown and beside him is Yuu, without the frown. And those, on the table, are my Digimon cards. Who the fuck brought them out here?âÂ
Haibara laughs. âGeto did! We were playing truth or dare with them!â
âYouâre lucky thatâs my dupe deck or Iâd end this friendship right here and now,â Gojo says, an easy grin on his face as if he wasnât pressing up against you, his chest warm and hard against your side, your elbow awkwardly jutting into him.Â
Your hand flexes around the cup, and the ring shifts slightly on your finger. Gojoâs gaze drops to it for half a second, a private little smile cutting across his mouth before he looks back at the table.Â
âWe heard about what happened inside,â Geto says. âAre you okay?âÂ
Would it be too late to suddenly go mute? If youâre able to recognise Gojo by his voice, then the chances of him putting name to face with the girl next door and you is also very high. Though, considering the way he isnât immediately pulling you aside to ask if you are indeed the voice in his walls, you want to believe that he has yet to figure out your identity.Â
So no, it isnât too late to go mute.Â
You nod in response to Getoâs question and flash him a smile, hoping none of it comes off as rude.Â
Gojo hums beside you, the vibration travelling through your bodies. He leans down to speak into your ear, a conversation just for you. âNot much for words? What happened to all the snark earlier?â
You stall for time by taking a long sip of Shokoâs concoction, the sting temporarily skyrocketing to the top of your concerns. This may or may not be a bad idea because now that youâre seated, all the previous drinks sloshing around in your stomach and this adding sip burning down your throat, you feel the world tip a little. You probably canât deflect this question, not when he asks like this, so you settle for something else.Â
Clearing your throat, you try for a lower octave than usual. âI only talk to the people that deserve it,â you say, then let out a small huff at how ridiculous you sound.Â
The grin he shoots you is all confidence and self-assurance, leaning in a fraction closer. âHow would you know if youâve never given me a chance?âÂ
âItâs pointless, I already know what youâre like.â Maybe itâs the bonfire or the drink in your hand but you are getting really warm. You take another long sip.Â
âWe talked for ten minutes max the other day, I highly doubt that,â he cocks his head at you. âDo I know you from somewhere else?âÂ
You hum. âMaybe.âÂ
âI think I would remember someone like you.âÂ
That causes you to raise an eyebrow, letting his casual flirt roll off you.Â
âFlattery,â you start, poking his chest. You let him catch your hand in his, holding it there against his heart, âwonât get you anywhere especially when itâs empty.â
âWho said it was empty? Besides, I know I wouldnât forget such a pretty girl.â
âOh, you would. You are.â You laugh again, finding the inside joke hilarious. âTry a little harder to remember, hm Satoru?âÂ
The challenge makes his eyes glow just like you knew they would, always have known from the moment when a wall still separated the two of you and he had laughed at your provoking, all dark and not humourous at all.Â
âMaybe if you gave me a name.â
Youâre not quite ready to hear his name from your lips just yet so you only shake your head, wagging your finger at him playfully. âWhereâs the fun in that?â
âIâm usually a patient man and Iâm all for the chase,â he starts, fingers inching closer, brushing hair from the back of your neck as he leans in, âbut youâve left me high and dry for so long.â
His words go in one ear and out the other, your breath hitching at the slightest touch. Despite yourself, you gulp and taste the bitter alcohol in your mouth. You feel it too, warmth pooling in your gut and making your head spin.Â
âIâm not an easy person,â you whisper, eyes flickering down to his lips and you bite your own, the rush of all your fantasies suddenly overwhelming you. In all other them, youâve never once imagined his lips on yours, not until now. And you donât doubt that after this, you'll be thinking of them often.Â
âTrust me,â he chuckles. âYouâre not easy, youâre stubborn as hell and you always give me a hard time.â
As if sensing your temptation, Gojoâs eyes trace the way your teeth dig into your lip, watching the pull before you release it, red and slightly jutted out. It makes him want to sink his teeth into your bottom lip and lick the marks it leaves behind.Â
Your breath hitches. He leans in slightly, looking up to search your face and wait to see if youâll pull back. When you donât, when he accepts whatever look is in eyes, he leans forward more. The anticipation builds and morphs into budding frustration when he continues to play this game of chicken, giving you countless moments to pull away if needed even when youâve shown no sign of stopping.Â
Shoko clears her throat and you jump, accidentally crushing your solo cup. The liquid bursts up and flows down your wrist and into your lap.Â
âShit!â you curse, immediately jumping up and pulling the fabric away from your skin.Â
Gojo quickly follows, one hand hovering on your lower back in case you tip back.Â
âOh, fuck,â Shoko says. âYou okay?âÂ
âYeah, itâs just super sticky.â You wince, accepting the tissues Nanami hands you though they do little good. âEw, itâs, like, sticking to my skin.âÂ
Utahime speaks up, watching you from over the rim of her cup. âThereâs a bathroom down the corridor. Gojo knows where it is, he can show you.â
âAnd maybe the two of you can make out there instead of right in front of us,â Geto says offhandedly, though his cup canât completely hide his grin. The people around the table giggle at his words, Shoko probably the loudest.Â
You blush, immediately going to deny his accusations but Gojo beats you to it.
âShoko and Utahime are one second away from eating each otherâs faces off but no one says anything about that!â
âThatâs because this is my party, Gojo.âÂ
âYeah, well it was my party that got you two together,â Gojo shoots back childishly.Â
Everyone laughs again, chattering as they descend into the topic of other inside jokes, playing word association as they leap from memory to memory. Thereâs a sense of belonging that oozes from everyone as they lean into one another and talk and gossip. You might have appreciated this moment more, enjoyed the fact that theyâre allowing you into this intimate moment, if not for the sudden blossoming warmth inside you. Before you can really think about it, you tug on Gojoâs shirt.Â
He immediately leans down, angling his ear to you. âHm?âÂ
âTake me to the bathroom?âÂ
Gojo stiffens, eyes flickering to your face then down your body. He bites his lip hard to focus, ignoring the temptation to let his mind wander at your innocent words. They had to be innocent, right? You, who was now looking up at him through your lashes with a pout playing on your lips, one hand tugging on the hem of his shirt, thumb rolling over the fabric slowly. You who was fidgeting ever so slightly, thighs rubbing together due to the cold.
âYeah,â he says suddenly, all humour gone. âLetâs go.âÂ
Someone cheers behind you as Gojo helps you up and opens the back door for you, though neither of you seem to care. He doesnât bother with answering greetings, only smiling shortly as you pass familiar people, something more impatient when he guides you than before.Â
He leads you down a corridor and into a dark room, closing the door behind you. Your heart leaps to your throat until he turns on the light, and you wince at the brightness.Â
âSorry, pretty. Shouldâve warned you,â Gojo says, only looking vaguely apologetic as he leans against the closed door, one hand still on the knob like heâs giving you a chance to back out.Â
He watches you carefully, tracing the line of your jaw, the slightest twitch of your brow and then, his favourite part, the flush climbing your cheeks. âThe bathroom should be safer than a spare room. Who knows who is in there doing what.â
You hesitate. âYou didnât have to follow me in.âÂ
âNo?â He tilts his head, eyes roaming over you before settling smugly on your face. âYouâre still holding onto my shirt. Maybe let go if you want to sound convincing.âÂ
You shiver, letting go immediately and stepping back closer to the sink. You open your mouth to say something, a stupid excuse perhaps, but he beats you to it.Â
âYou cold?âÂ
âWhat?â
âEarlier.â His eyes fall to your legs. âYou were fidgeting. Thought maybe you were cold. Call me a desperate guy if you want, but donât ask a guy to take you somewhere private while looking at me like that.âÂ
âLike what?âÂ
Gojo pushes off the door and you take a step back instinctively. âLike you wanted me to misunderstand you.âÂ
You hesitate, looking around the bathroom. He seems to notice, and stops immediately, eyes softening. âHey, Iâm not going to do anything you donât want. Just shove me away and Iâll go, I promise.âÂ
âItâs not that,â you bite your lip.Â
âThen what is it, pretty?âÂ
âYou talk too much. Youâre too loud,â you manage to say, warm despite the chill of the drink on you. âAlways have been.â
The corner of his mouth lifts. âYeah?âÂ
âYes.âÂ
âGood.â He takes one step closer. âThen make me shut up.âÂ
Your back meets the sink before you realise you have moved, the contrast of cold porcelain against your overheated skin making you gasp. Heâs on you in an instant, hands roaming down your side until theyâre gripping your hips hard enough to bruise.Â
âYouâre so tense,â he murmurs against your neck. âYou have no idea Iâve been watching you all night, do you? That little skirt? This tiny little top?âÂ
He slaps your tits and you jolt, looking up at him in surprise to which he only grins down at you. You canât seem to form a coherent thought, not when thereâs alcohol swimming in your veins and turning your limbs to jelly, mind to fog. Still, you manage to say, âDid you just slap my boob?â
âDonât act like you didnât like it. If I shove my hand down your skirt, am I going to find you wet, pretty?âÂ
His knee nudges between your thighs, spreading them open as he steps closer.Â
âYou are so grossââ you start, but he cuts you off with his mouth on yours.Â
The kiss is brutal and demanding all at once. His tongue slides against yours, tasting of expensive liquor and something sweet, or maybe thatâs just your taste and heâs shoving it back against your mouth. One hand leaves your hip to fist in your hair, tilting your head back.Â
He breaks the kiss only to trail his lips down your throat, sucking hard at the pulse point. âDonât lie to me. I know youâve wanted this since the first time I heard you. You have quite the perverted streak to you, donât you?â
Your breath hitches. His hand slides down, palm flat against your stomach, then lower. He doesn't bother with the fabric of your panties, just pushes them aside and drags his fingers through your slick folds.
âFuck,â he hisses. âYouâre soaked. And you're gonna tell me you weren't dreaming about this? Getting yourself off to the thought of me touching you like this?âÂ
His middle finger sinks into you without warning. You cry out, a sound that would be embarrassing if you had any sense left. But all you can feel is the stretch, the fullness, the way your body clenches around him desperately.
âThat's it,â he coos, tone shifting to something truly mocking. âYouâre really feeling it now, arenât you?âÂ
He adds a second finger, fucking them into you with a rhythm that has your knees buckling. His thumb circles your clit in lazy, torturous circles. You're already so close, the buildup of tension from hours of dancing, of drinking, of watching him across the room, it all crashes toward a peak.
âPlease,â you whimper.
âPlease what? Use your words, pretty.â
âPlease fuck me,â you manage to gasp, fantasy and reality crashing together in a dizzying mess.Â
He pulls his fingers out abruptly, and you groan at the loss. But then you hear the sound of his belt unbuckling, the zipper of his pants, and your mouth waters. He takes himself in hand, strokes once, twice, and then the blunt head of his cock presses against your entrance.
âLook at me,â he commands.
You force your eyes open. His are dark, pupils blown wide, a little furrow between his brows.Â
âAre you with me?â he asks, brushing your hair out of your eyes.Â
You nod, rutting forward pathetically.Â
âCome on, pretty, I need to hear you say it.â
âIâm here!â you choke out, gasping. âPlease, I want this, I promise IâI want you. Satoru, please.â
He groans, the tip of his cock pressing forward beyond that little ring of resistance, swearing at the involuntary thrust. âOkay, okay, Iâve got you.âÂ
He noses into your temple, inhaling deeply, one thumb holding you open as he presses in and groans, filthy and depraved.Â
âFuckâyouâre so tight,â he gasps, cock stuttering through until heâs buried deep.Â
The sensation of being stretched wide open on his cock makes you tense, before a ragged, grateful cry escapes your swollen lips. You can barely breathe through your nose, head spinning with pleasure.Â
âOh god, oh my god!â you cry out, head thrown back.Â
âShh,â he hisses against your ear, his breath hot and sweet. His cock rams into youâa thick, punishing rhythm he picks up easilyâand every thrust pushes your back against the sink. âYou gotta stay quiet, angel. We don't want anyone hearinâ how much of a slut you are, do we?â
But of course, all good things have to come to an end because through the hazy pleasure, you hear a grating voice.Â
âHey! Y/N! I know you're in there!â You can recognise Naoyaâs voice anywhere even, it seems, when youâre being fucked for every inch of your life.Â
Gojoâs hand closes around your mouth as he looks at you, grunting softly with every thrust. He pulls out briefly and you whine until he turns you around and presses you up against the cold tiles, driving up into you like he never left. His rhythm doesnât falter, if anything, he pounds harder.Â
âMm-mm,â you try to say, shaking your head, panic rising. He doesn't stop. He slams into you and your body jolts, your forehead knocking against the tile.
âI said I know you're in there!â Naoya's voice is slurred, angry. He kicks the door. âOpen the fuck up! We need to talk!â
Gojoâs hand slides off your mouth though not enough to leave completely. Itâs just his palm moving, his fingers hooking into the corner of your lips, prying your mouth open. Two of them slip inside, salty with your own slick, and he pushes them back until you're gagging.
âAnswer him,â Gojo whispers, his lips brushing your ear. âGo on. Tell him youâre busy.â
You canât. His fingers are deep in your throat. You gag, tears springing to your eyes, and he just laughs, low and dark.
âOh, right. You can't talk with my fingers in your mouth, can you?â He pulls them out, slick and wet, and wraps them around your jaw, tilting your face toward the door. âTry again. Use your words.â
âNaoya,â you choke out, your voice wrecked, breathless. âIâmâIâm fine. Justââ
âJust what?â Gojo thrusts, hard, and your sentence crumbles into a gasp. His cock sinks so deep you feel it in your stomach. âJust getting fucked stupid? Tell him the truth.â
Thereâs a beat of silence. You can picture Naoya on the other side of the door, his fists clenched, his jaw tight. When he speaks again, his voice is lower, certainly enraged.
âYouâre lying. I can hear you breathing. Open the fucking door.â
Gojoâs hips slow. He pulls almost all the way out, leaving just the tip, and then drives forward in one smooth, devastating motion. You cry out, quickly muffled by your own hand.
âDon't make me break this door down,â Naoya warns.
Gojo chuckles, right in your ear. âHe sounds mad. Poor guy. You really do know how to pick âem, donât you?â He leans closer, his chest pressing against your back, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. âBut youâre not his anymore, are you? You're mine. For tonight, anyway.â
He fucks you slow now, deep and deliberate, his cock dragging along every inch of your walls. You feel every ridge, every vein and your legs tremble in the delicious drag.
âTell him,â Gojo whispers, âthat youâre busy. That you donât have time for him anymore. âCause heâs nothing to you now, right? Tell me heâs nothing to you.âÂ
You swallow, wanting nothing more than to open your mouth and babble about how incredible it is to get railed in a bathroom, how brainless Gojoâs cock is making you but you have to be good, heâs waiting for you. So instead, you manage to say, âNaoya, leave meânghâalone!â
Naoya growls at the closed door before him, even going so far as to stomp his feet like a petulant kid. âFine! Fucking fine, Y/N! But I promise you, youâll regret this! Iâll make sure you do!â
Sure, you think, eyes rolling back, as if your Etsy witch can touch me anymore when Gojo is fucking me. You slump forward, relief flooding you when you hear his footsteps retreating, but Gojo doesnât let you rest. He grabs a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back, and resumes his brutal pace.
âGood girl,â he purrs. His voice is different now, softer, honeyed and almost affectionate. âSuch a good fucking girl. You did so well. You listened. You obeyed.â He kisses your shoulder, open-mouthed, wet. âSee? I knew you could be good for me.â
The whiplash is dizzying and it only makes you arch more, something inevitable and delicious approaching in the far distance.Â
âThat's right,â he murmurs, still fucking you deep and slow. âYou took that so well. Pretended you werenât getting your tight little cunt stuffed while your ex was right outside. That takes skill, pretty. Youâre so fucking perfect for me.â
His hand snakes around your front, fingers finding your clit. He rubs slow, tight circles, and your hips buck.
âBet you've been practicing, haven't you?â His voice is a low, knowing drawl. âAll those nights you thought nobody was listening. Thought nobody could hear you moaning. But werenât you the one to tell me? The walls are thin as shit, angel.â
Heâs ramming into you now, fast and rough again, his words spilling out between each thrust and all you can do is be a ragdoll in his hold.Â
âYou'd lie in bed, late at night, fingers in your pussy, listening to me stroke my cock. Iâd hear you. The wet sounds. The little âoh, yesâs. And Iâd think... fuck, I need to have that. I need to feel that cunt clench around me.â
You're dizzy, overwhelmed. His hand on your clit, his cock in your cunt, his words in your brain, itâs all too much.
âDid you think I didnât recognize you at the party tonight? The girl with the needy little moans?â He bites your earlobe, hard enough to sting. âIâve been waiting for an excuse to corner you. And then you showed up drunk and sad, with that asshole on your heels, and I knew tonight was the night.â
Heâs watching you in the mirror and you catch his reflection. His eyes are dark, lips parted, face flushed. Heâs absolutely beautiful.
âI'm gonna fill you up,â he growls. âGonna pump my cum so deep inside you it leaks out for days. And when you walk past my door tomorrow, you're gonna know. Youâre gonna remember this. Youâre gonna touch yourself to the memory, and Iâll be right there, on the other side of the wall, stroking myself to the sound of you coming undone.â
His hips slam into you. Once, twice, three times. You feel the pressure building, the coil in your belly tightening to the point of pain.
âSatoruââ you gasp, hands fumbling for purchase on the wall.Â
âI know, angel, I know. Cum for me,â he demands. âWanna finally feel you cum on my cockâfuck.â
You shatter. Your orgasm crashes through you like a wave, your cunt clenching around him, your body shaking. You cry out his nameâSatoruâand he follows a second later, buried to the hilt, his cum hot and thick inside you.
He holds you there, both of you breathing hard, sweat-slick and sticky. Then he pulls out slowly, watching his cum drip down your thigh.
âGood girl,â he says again, his voice a warm, approving caress. He turns you around, cups your face in his hands, and kisses you, soft, tender, unhurried. âYou did so well, pretty. So, so good for me.â
Your knees are weak and he notices, turning you and pressing you to his chest to keep you upright. He continues to whisper in your ear as your senses return to you, and when you finally lift a hand to gently push at his chest, he lets you, eyes immediately flickering down to your eyes.Â
âStill with me?âÂ
You nod, before you fall forward into his arms.Â
When your body breaks down alcohol, it converts the ethanol into acetate, a process that produces a lot of NADH from NADâș. The imbalance of the NADHâș ratio leads to the feelings of weakness and grogginess that come from a horrible night out.Â
You wake now, approximately ninety percent NADH and ten percent regret.Â
For a while, you refuse to move. You only stare at your ceiling, blinking slowly at the familiar crack in the paint above your head, the soft grey light pressing through the curtains, the horrible cotton-dry feeling your tongue against the top of your mouth.Â
How the fuck did you get home?
Your own bed, in most cases, the preferred place to wake up after all. Itâs safe, itâs familiar, and most importantly, itâs yours. But the last thing you remember is not collapsing into the warmth and security of your own bed. The last thing you recall comes in fragments: Utahimeâs party, Gojoâs hands on your body, the bathroom light flickering too bright overhead, the sink cold behind you and his voice low in your ear.Â
And then nothing. You suppose there are brief pieces after that, blurry and soft around the edges. Glimpses of a car window, someone cursing under their breath, the sound of your keys jingling and the vague sensation of being carried. That one must have been a drunken hallucination because itâs humiliating and therefore cannot be the truth.Â
You fumble for your phone which is not beside your pillow where you usually place it after your nightly doomscroll before bed, but placed neatly on your bedside table. Thereâs a few texts from friends on your lock screen, but thereâs only one person you want to text.Â
shoko: alive?
actually donât answer if youâre dead
if youâre alive though please drink some water and let me know that youâre okÂ
You laugh softly. Why did you jump to conclusions so quick? Of course it was Shoko that took you home! Who knew her upper body strength was so good that she managed to carry you into your own bed after a night of drinking.Â
you: im alive!!
thank u so much for taking me home btwÂ
i owe u :3
She quickly reacts to your message with a heart before the typing indicator appears.Â
shoko: i didnât take u home (?)Â
gojo did obv
he WHAT? is probably what youâre thinking but please remember to breathe and drink some water before you crash outÂ
You are, in fact, thinking he what?And because Shoko accurately called you out on that, you decide to follow through on the rest of her advice. You turn your head and stop a sticky note stuck to the glass of water beside your head, bright yellow and neat as a warning label.Â
water is important when youâre recovering from a hangover! â satoru
Then, a little to the left, attached to a packet of painkillers,Â
because i know your head probably feels like shit rn â still meÂ
âOh my god,â you whisper, unsure whether to laugh or to run away.Â
You do neither because your head really does hurt like a motherfucker, and take the painkillers along with a generous gulping or two of water. The cool liquid does little against the parched nature of your throat, but when you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, you feel alive enough to venture out of your bed.Â
Thereâs a sticky note on the ground next to a pair of slippers you swore you had separated, one in the kitchen one somewhere in the living room.Â
the ground is cold! wear slippers! â forever urs :3
âForever yours?â you repeat aloud, voice wrecked with sleep and dehydration even as you shove your toes in.Â
Thereâs another note on the back of your bedroom door.Â
no matter what u see in the mirror remember youâre beautiful! â shrek to ur fiona?
You open your bedroom door and make your slow, regretful way to the bathroom where you lay your tired eyes on your puffy face. You have definitely seen better days. Thereâs another note stuck to your mirror.Â
face wash is on the left toothbrush is on the right if you use the face wash as toothpaste, thatâs between you and god â not your doctorÂ
Huffing out a sound that might be amusement, you pick up your toothbrush and ensure you squeeze toothpaste onto its bristles. The toothpaste is minty and makes your eyes water slightly, but by the time you rinse your mouth, you feel one step closer to not feeling like the undead.Â
Thereâs another note stuck to the towel rack.Â
if ur eyes are puffy, put a cold compress over them! â still not a doctor
From the bathroom back to your room for a change of clothes and even on your way to the kitchen, youâre guided by a series of sticky notes.Â
clean clothes! i didnât look through your drawers dw â feministÂ
welcome to the kitchen! huge milestone for you â ur biggest fanÂ
water already boiled in here so when you wake up to reboil it itâll take less time â the kettle knowerÂ
drink real water first before the coffee !! seriously donât put coffee in me just yet â mugÂ
soup inside on the second shelf :3 not homemade so donât get too excited iâm handsome, not magical i couldnât have it both ways â :(
in the microwave for two minutes with lid half on! take it out when itâs boiling â the soup sipperÂ
You finally feel alive enough to laugh, embarrassingly loud in the quiet of your kitchen. You stand there in your slippers, teeth brushed, face washed, and dressed in clothes when any other time you might have still been under the covers.Â
The apartment feels full of him. A note when you open your utensil drawer for a spoon, a note sitting on top of a coffee pod conveniently placed on your counter, a note against the body of a vase youâve placed on your dining table to feel more homey.Â
eat slowly, you get hiccups when you rush!Â
The notes take you away from your drying rack when youâve finished the store-bought soup and washed your spoon, taking you to your living room. Your camera sits on your coffee table, a sticky stuck on the surface that reads: âturn me on ><â
You roll your eyes but do so, lifting it up and framing the sorry state of your living room before hitting the record button. The first shot captures just how many sticky notes litter the surface of almost every object, the words telling you a funny joke or reminding you to put something back. You take your time walking through all of them, his handwriting everywhere, his name everywhere (except when he decides to write down a silly nickname).Â
Satoru.
Satoru.
Satoru.
Then, you find the last one on your front door.Â
if youâre overwhelmed, you donât have to open this today. if youâre angry at me, just yell at me through the wall :( if youâre okay, iâd like to see you â satoru
And then, before you can think it through, you reach forward and open your door.Â
Gojo stands in the hallway, a bouquet of flowers clutched in both hands like heâs praying. His eyes light up when you open your door and he moves forward instinctively. Heâs so close that the toe of one sock is nearly edging over the threshold of your apartment.Â
You let out a short scream.Â
He startles just as badly, eyes going wide as he reaches forward on instinct to steady you, and your camera slips from your hand.
âOhââÂ
It hits the floor before either of you can grab it, bouncing once, then sliding sideways across the carpet until it knocks gently against the leg of your couch. The camera keeps recording from there, tilted on its side. It catches the lower half of your open door, Gojoâs socked feet in the hallway, your bare feet on the carpet, and the hem of your sweater falling over your shorts.
âAre you okay?â he asks in a rush.Â
âWhat are you doing standing right in front of my door, you creep?â you shoot back, one hand pressed to your chest. âWere you standing there the entire time?âÂ
âI was trying to be romantic.â He shoves the bouquet toward you, panic making his voice crack at the edges. âI literally got you flowers!âÂ
You take them automatically, bewildered by the weight of roses in your hands. âThank you? Is that why youâve littered all over my apartment?âÂ
His face falls. âWas that not cute?âÂ
You blink. âCute?âÂ
âDid you not think it was cute?â he asks, suddenly horrified. âBecause I thought it was cute. I mean, not in a weird way. Well, maybe a little weird. But intentional weird. Charming weird.âÂ
âThe sticky notes?â
He groans, dragging a hand down his face. âLook, Iâve never done anything like this before, okay? This whole romance thing is seriously above me, I have no idea how Iâm meant to ask you this without scaring you away.âÂ
You stare at him for a long while before laughing. The sound pulls from your throat loud and bright that it almost hurts with an incoming headache, but itâs so funny you just canât stop. âI knew you had no experience with women. I called it all along, didnât I?â
âPlease, this and that are completely unrelated.â His shoulders seem to relax at your laugh, and he finally cracks a smile, running a hand through his hair. âYou never were going to make it easy for me, were you?âÂ
âEasy? When youâve just left forty sticky notes in my apartment and then lurked outside my door?â
His smile trembles, trying to stay bright, but the nerves are still there beneath it. You can see them now that you know to look. The way his fingers flex at his side, the way his eyes keep flickering from your face to the threshold like he is measuring the exact line he is not allowed to cross.Â
âI wasnât lurking,â he says, quieter. âI was waiting.âÂ
Your fingers tighten around the bouquet.Â
Gojo looks down at it, then back at you. âI wanted to knock earlier, but I thought if you woke up and saw me before you were ready, youâd panic.â
âPlease, I wouldnât have panicked.âÂ
âYou literally panicked ten seconds ago.â
âTouche.â You look at him for a short while before glancing down at your slippered-feet. âIâm still scared, honestly. I think Iâve been cursed in every possible aspect of love. Thatâs why when I heard your voice all the way back during that carwash event, I didnât want you to know it was me. It would break what we had going on through the wall and I liked that. It felt like something I could just keep to myself. And then I found out you were Satoru and it was obvious you werenât just mine anymore.âÂ
Gojo lets you talk, lets you call him Gojo again without saying a single word until you finish. Then he says, âWere you disappointed?âÂ
âNo,â you say immediately. âIt wasnât like that.âÂ
He smiles then, head tilting to the side. âThen I can be just Satoru. Just your Satoru, if that helps.âÂ
Itâs so stupidly cheesy that you have to scoff, even as your cheeks warm.Â
âIâm serious,â he chuckles along with you, stepping a little closer. âI liked being 4B. I liked that you knew me when I was just some guy through the wall that you liked talking to. I liked talking to you through blackouts and through shitty phone calls. I liked what we had too. Have, if youâll let me.â
âAre you asking me out?â
He huffs, a weary smirk on his face. âIsnât it obvious?âÂ
Instead of answering him, you shove the bouquet of flowers back into his chest, watching as his brows furrow in confusion, before youâre reaching forward to cup his face and kiss him.
In one suspended second, Gojo simply stands there doing absolutely nothing. He freezes so completely beneath your hands that, if you risked opening your eyes, you might find his bright blue ones staring back at you. His lips are still against yours, the rest of him gone rigid, roses crushed between his chest and yours, fingers locked around the stems not quite sure what else to do.Â
You almost pull back.Â
But then, in a rush of movement, the bouquet is gone.Â
He throws it blindly into your apartment with a kind of urgent, graceless force that makes several roses scatter across your carpet. Before you can laugh, his arms are around you.Â
One arm wraps around your waist, pulling you close enough you half tread on his feet, other hand coming up to cradle the side of your face, warm and shaking just slightly. Nothing in the world has ever felt so right.Â
Thereâs too much smiling in the kiss, and your noses are pressed awkwardly for the kiss to be smooth but then he tilts his head and gets it right.Â
You kiss him until your lungs begin to object and then slowly, you pull away. Gojo follows you for half a second before he catches himself, eyes opening slowly. His pupils are blown wide, hair a mess, and his mouth is parted without anything clever coming out of it.Â
âSo,â he licks his lips, eyes flickering down for a moment. âIs that a yes?âÂ
From the floor, your camera continues recording from its crooked angle. It captures none of it neatly, not your face and not his, not the way his thumb brushes your cheek. It catches the fall of the roses, the way your bodies draw the other in in a rush, the stumbling as he walks you back into your apartment and you both disappear from the frame in a fit of giggles and whispered words.Â
âYes, Satoru,â you laugh, letting him guide you further into your apartment. âItâs a yes.âÂ
Later, when you edit the film, you leave the shot in. It isnât as graceful as it could be nor will it win an Oscar in cinematography, but for your love assignment, you decide that this will do.Â
a/n: oh my GOD this is another draft that i started writing in 2023 (?) and is affectionately known by my friends and i as the jorkin' it fic <3 b99!au fic coming next !! not that i don't love the other fics i've written but it's definitely my favourite wip so i hope you all love that one too! thank you so much for reading until the very end and i hope u enjoyed :3
"by popular request for whatever reason girls and gays here's the person you've been waiting to meet"
All they can see at first is katsuki's legs and grey sweatpants before he sits down on the fluffy pink chair obviously too small for him. He smirks and waves a bit at the camera with his gold toof sticking out
"Hey, baby" and he gives you a kiss making you playfully roll your eyes.
The chat is blowing up like crazy with comments like
"I can't decide if I want to be y/n or be with her please send help "
okay this is big nom but i wanna give more detail and maybe do it a little differently !!!
sex podcaster reader x pro hero bkg
you didnât have to convince your boyfriend to be a guest on your sex podcast. once the photos leaked of you and him walking into his agency with his arm around you, you knew the internet wouldnât stop talking about it.
compilations of clips of you talking about you and your boyfriend in bed and how your boyfriend pleasures you sexually. none of this bothered you for the fact that you keep everything educational, none of it is bad and most importantlyâ none of it is false. if anything itâs good promotion for your pro hero boyfriend to get a boost on the charts by the womenâs vote, everyone loves an attractive caring man who treats his woman good.
a month has passed since the photos and you and bakugou have only laughed about it. the stupid tweets, the private dms from his fans and your listeners. videos of bakugou shirtless training becomes a comment section of:
âoh yn definitely wasnât lying.â âyou can see his outline in his shorts. no wonder his girlfriend has to prep for hours beforehand.â âyn is so lucky you know heâs good at it.â
you ask him once, âwould you ever wanna come on my pod? i keep getting comments about it.â
bakugou pushes his glasses up his nose and stuffs his black clothes in the washing machine. heâs crouched on the ground in a grey vest and shorts. so gorgeous.
he looks up at you through his lenses, âabout time youâve asked me!â
âyouâve wanted to? youâve always beenâ,â you put on a deep voice, âmy privacy! i give them everythinâ and they still want more!â
bakugou chuckles, rising to his feet and starting the washing machine. âi donât sound like that.â
âyou do,â your eyes squint as your cheeks rise in a smile.
âiâll go on your pod if you want. my publicist spoke to me about it a few weeks ago and said it could boost my popularity. but mostly âcause iâd be fuckinâ sick at answerinâ dilemmas.â he grins.
you huff a laugh, the swirl of the washing machine starting smoothly behind him. âdynamight, second on the charts with his body count of three giving sex advice? sure.â
âshouldnât be shaminâ me for how many people iâve had sex with. that goes against your whole pod, baby.â he lightly flicks your forehead.
âi wasnât shaming you!â you follow after him as he steps out of his utility room, âif anything iâd love to hear what you have to say.â
âiâll be the voice for the big dicked.â
you lean back on your green single sofa chair in your studio. youâve got bookshelves behind you of your favourite educational sex books behind you. kama sutra ones, sex encyclopaedias, dictionaries and scientific books. you keep your awards on the shelf, so very humbly, that youâve gotten over the years and your youtube plaque stuck up onto the wall. your favourite though is your art print of flowers that definitely make out a vagina and for this episode only, youâve added a little dynamight figurine right beside your anatomical vagina figure.
you hold your microphone to your mouth, adjusting the wire on the floor and putting your feet on your chair to get comfy.
âif youâre watching, youâre probably wondering why i have an empty chair beside me or if youâre normal youâve already read the title of this weeks episode and you know who it is.
but today iâve got a very special, very personal guest. some of you may know him as being loud and annoying but unbelievably brave and strong.â
youâre staring at your guest behind the camera, a giddy smile on your face as you sing his praises.
âyouâve probably seen him on your tv screens and social media. half naked underwear adverts, on the news channels restraining a villain or complaining about something on those post fight interviews. though to me,â you hold your mic close to your face, âthis man is the love of my life. the sweetest, smartest and most caring. he lives to tend for me and keep me happy. i didnât expect this from him when i first met him either. he makes my life so so easy and beautiful and like you all keep talking about in my comments, yes, he gives me amazing head and yes, his dick is massive.â
thereâs a loud chuckle off camera.
âso with that being said, todayâs guest is the beloved dynamight though to me my gorgeous boyfriend, katsuki!â
âis that my cue?â
âthatâs your cue.â
your large pro hero body shuffles into the frame. first only his black jeans are shown before he slumps into the single seat sofa chair. itâs clearly too small for him, unable to spread his legs like usual and both his arms are strewn over the arm rests.
bakugou doesnât complain though, grinning at you with his mic on his stomach.
âthatâs the best intro iâve ever gotten. i love you,â he replies muffled for the viewers.
âi love you too but mic to your mouth, baby.â
âoh yeah, gonna have to remember that,â bakugou tucks the mic under his lip. deep and husky, âhey baby.â
heâs in a black compression tee to match his jeans. it makes his waist look snatched, his shoulders broad and his teeth white. his hair is styled like usual but what always gets you is his glasses. usually for reading before bed but youâre happily greeted with them. (he said beforehand heâs wearing them to look smarter when giving advice. really it just makes him look sexier.)
âhey âtsuki. how are you? my listeners have a load of questions to ask you.â you smile back at him, not even realising how you bite down on your bottom lip. âyou might need to turn off your media training today.â
bakugou says every word to you, speaking like itâs just you two, without the cameras or screens or your soundwoman in the corner.
âmy publicist hates me because iâm not media trained. this is the best place for me.â
âyou say this now but youâre going to hate the personal questions.â
âas long as theyâre not too much in our business.â
if you have any questions or dilemmas you wanna ask bkg and ynâŠ. let me know!
đàŸàœČàŸàœČ | a continuation of ex!sukuna with a print of your lips tattoed on him, i am hungry for this man
â ášłàŹ . pt. 1 â pt. 2 <here!>
[ cw : sukuna is STILL pathetic for you, this part is sfw | reader gets called : princess ]
Sukuna had thrown his phone across the room in shame and hopped in the shower as soon as he saw that you read his message. He thinks you to be some sort of angel for not having blocked him after all this time but it makes sense because you always seem to see the good in people, including him.
The cold water hits his back as he runs his hands through pink hair. He remembers when he first dyed it, so long ago, and how you squealed in delight when you saw the large, tall man with biceps that may or may not be bigger than your head with light pink hair. You had ran your fingers through the thick stands of hair and made fun of his uneven roots and hands dyed pink for the next two weeks. You had made sure to help him whenever his roots had grown out, so it didn't look so choppy. He wishes he had the excuse of being drunk in response to your inevitable questioning text but he could never bring himself to lie to you.
When he steps out of the bathroom he ignores his phone and opts to harshly drying his head with a stained towel, another towel sitting low on his hips as he opens his bedroom window and lights a cigarette. You used to curl up beside him on his ratty couch on late nights, taking the occasional drag and sitting in the smoke with him. He hates how he can't seem to do anything without the lingering thought of you in odd corners.
When he finally decides to bite the bullet, he opens his phone with teeth gritted, forearms on his knees gripping the device.
you : sukuna ryomen.
He thinks that's just like you. Not cussing him out, not questioning, not blocking, just his stupid name as if you didn't already have him in a chokehold.
His hands are shaky, to the point where he thinks he might drop his phone. It's been a year and a half and he's sure you've moved on, sure you don't deserve his stupid ass texting you at god knows what hour.
sukuna : wasn't lying though
you : glad you know you're an idiot
you : if you're having a tough night i can talk but i'd rather not talk about us
His thumb hovers over the call button. He knows he shouldn't, knows you're probably happy, dating, living your best life without him. But he's always been a greedy son of a bitch.
đàŸàœČàŸàœČ
You pick up the phone like it's second nature, his contact photo is still the same because you haven't been able to bring yourself to change it. It's a picture of the two of you someone took, it must have been Gojo or Shoko, you're at an amusement park, laughing at something he said and he's got this stupid grin on his face, looking at you. You used to have the picture framed on your wall somewhere before it hurt too much to even know it was there so you had thrown the frame out and shoved the picture in a drawer.
"Hey," his voice is gruff, low like you remember.
"Hi," you say evenly, "You're lucky I haven't reported and blocked you,"
You hear him snort and it brings you a smile.
"Don't know why you haven't yet," he sounds like he genuinely doesn't know. You hum in response, thinking through the question. You hadn't broken up on bad terms per se, but you hadn't broken up on good terms either.
"I don't know why either," is all you can offer him.
"I should probably get that tattoo covered up," he says, and you know what he's talking about without an explanation. You pause, you had assumed he would've covered it up already, it's not the best look, especially if he's been seeing other women and decides to be honest with them about who's lips are actually marked on him.
"I'm surprised you havenât yet," you say with a small voice.
"Turns out people don't like it when you have your ex branded on you permanently,"
"They must think I'm crazy," you snort.
"Would never let them think that," he says and it makes you quiet. He says it so casually. As if the two haven't been avoiding each other at all of the group hangouts, as if this is the first time you've even had a proper conversation since the breakup.
"Is that why you messaged me?" you try and change the subject and he lets you for the sake of being able to hear your voice for a while longer.
"Was seeing a girl, she was upset I didn't have any plans to cover it up and broke it off with me tonight,"
"Shit, I'm sorry,"
"'S not your fault,"
The two of you sit in silence for a while. It makes you think how it doesn't even feel awkward, it's as if the two of you picked up right where you left off, except for the weeks leading to your breakup.
"My roots are growing out," he murmurs into the speaker not knowing why.
"Have you been keeping it pink?" he hears you smile and just wishes he could be in the same room as you to see that smile.
"Yeah, it's my look now I guess,"
"I think it suits you,"
"That's part of why I still keep it," he says and you ignore how it makes your heart flutter.
"Do you need help with the bleaching?" you ask and regret it when you're met with silence. You can tell he's thinking, and you're glad one of you is because you seem to be making mistake after mistake tonight by even interacting with him.
"Are you sure?"
"Mhm,"
"I'm free thursday night if you want to come over,"
author's note : reader has more grace and patience than i would have, but i would fold
Sukuna watched you with a scowl on his face as you unboxed the new baby item he vividly remembers telling you not to get.
"What am I looking at?" He squinted at your laptop a week ago, head still pounding from the ball he took to the forehead during practice.
"A baby carrier, obviously."
He ignores the way you roll your eyes, swallowing the rebuttal on the tip of his tongue because he promised himself to do better for you. That meant controlling his irrational anger.
"What do we need that for?" Sukuna grunts, adjusting his sleeping daughter on his chest, arms wrapped protectively around her.
"To help with our arms Ryomen!"
It was true that your daughter was a velcro baby and a chunky one at that, but that didn't mean Sukuna needed a cheap piece of fabric to do his job, even if his arms sometimes cramped from how long he held her.
He didn't trust the thing, she was much safer in his arms.
Despite him telling you he won't be wearing it, he was now standing stiff and annoyed as you stood on the tip of your toes and strapped the thing around him, snapping all the buckles in before running away with a giggle to grab your daughter from her room.
He pulled at it, hoping to stretch it a little because it was too fucking tight against his chest. Sukuna was a big guy, he didn't know what you were thinking putting this on him.
He felt stupid, humiliated.
If his frat brothers caught him in this, he'd be the butt of every joke. Gojo would surely rub it in his face after all the shit Sukuna gave him for buying one for the days he babysits.
When you returned with a sleeping pink haired infant in your arms, his posture slightly softened, heart squeezing at the sight of his two favorite girls. He didn't know what he did to deserve you both, but he was going to keep you all the same.
You kiss your daughter's round cheek and smile at the brooding man in front of you, his arms coming out so he can grab the baby from you. You pass her to him and stand back to watch, eyes wide with delight as he lifted her before sliding her into the carrier.
"Come on brat, help me out." He huffs trying to get her legs through the two holes but the baby refused, scrunching her legs up and frowning in her sleep.
Sukuna holds her out and glares at her sleeping form, his twin just as stubborn as he is. He tries again while you hold in your laughter.. and again, and again until she finally gives up and lets him settle her in.
"Was it that hard?" He huffs, placing one hand under her bum and the other behind her head because he refused to put his full trust in the thing.
"So?" You smile up at him and he hates that he can't be annoyed at you when you look at him like that. "What do you think?"
He shrugs and makes a face. "Tch, useless thing."
He wasn't going to tell you this, lest you throw it back in his face, but he couldn't say he minded the baby carrier. It was nice being able to walk around and get things done while keeping his daughter close, but he only ever wore it when you were in class or out with your friends.
He even brought her to practice with him, strapped safe since you were coming down with a cold and could barely keep your eyes open.
He was the captain so he was allowed by his coach to stand on the sidelines and help guide the team, shouting critiques to the men while his daughter was pressed to his chest and looking around with curious red eyes, little earmuffs protecting her tiny ears from the whistles and shouting.
It was surreal for Sukuna's teammates to see.
Their six foot seven tatted captain who routinely made freshmen cry during conditioning, holding a baby that was entirely too tiny against his chest. When one of her fist escaped the blanket, Sukuna reached down and gently tucked it back inside without even looking, eyes focused on the field.
Everyone was dumbfounded but kept running their drills because if Sukuna caught them lacking he'd make them run laps until they puked or passed out.
Sukuna's thumb absentmindedly rubbed slow circles against her tiny back through the carrier, one arm wrapped around her because while he could admit it was practical, he'd never completely trust it when it came to his daughters safety.
He ignored the smile Nanami gave him when he passed by and stopped to say hello to his niece.
You would definitely be hearing about this and he could already hear you saying I told you so!
⊠lisa's note: I missed writing dadkuna so here's a quick oneshot while I finish my gojo and nerdkuna fic
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
came back home tired and all he wanted was to be pampered with love by you âĄ
katsuki bakugo only lets himself be vulnerable around you, especially when he's so tired.
and you can tell the second the door of your dorm opens.
his hair is still damp from a warm shower, towel-sloppy instead of spiked, and a clean shirt clinging to him in that way that says he showered fast and didnât bother drying properly. the sharp scent of soap trails in behind him as he closes the door with his heel, shoulders sagging like heâs finally allowed himself to stop holding everything up.
you glance over from your desk. âhi,â
he just stood by the door and didn't answer right away. just watch you for a second. you, sitting cross-legged in front of your study table with your notes spread out, pencil tucked between your fingers, brow furrowed in concentration.
something in his expression softens, even melts.
âhmph,â he mutters, low. âyouâre busy.â
you smiled a little. âjust rereading some lessons.â
he hums, noncommittal, then crosses the room and drops onto your bed anyway, right behind you. the mattress dips under his weight, warm and familiar, and you could feel his stare still in you.
katsuki leans back on his hands, now staring at the ceiling.
silence stretches.
then, quieter than usual, almost reluctant, he asked, ââŠyou really gotta keep studyinâ?â
you smile without looking at him. âwe have an exam tomorrow, remember?â
another pause.
ââŠright.â
you laugh softly at his actions and turn around. you already know what he wants the moment he steps inside your dorm. his eyes flick down to you immediately, sharp and hungry in a way that has nothing to do with desire and everything to do with need.
âtired?â you ask.
he scoffs without a bite into it. âwhat dâyou think?â
you shift, setting your notes aside, and stand up slowly from your study table, deliberately, until youâre right in front of him. katsukiâs breath stutters the moment you step between his knees.
he doesnât touch you yet. just look up.
ââŠcâmere,â he says, rough but unsure. like heâs asking without wanting to admit it.
so you do.
your hands come up first, smoothing through his damp hair, fingertips gentle against his scalp. katsuki exhales like heâs been holding his breath all day. his head tips forward automatically, forehead pressing into your stomach as if his body already knows itâs safe here.
âyou didnât properly dry your hair.â you mumbled as you tried to reach for a clean tower that was slung in a chair without moving from your spot. then, gently, you dried his hair.
âwanted to see you first.â he mumbled on your stomach.
you smile and keep going. after some time, you set the now damp towel aside and let your thumb brush over his temple, knuckles grazing his cheek.
âthere,â you murmur. âiâve got you.â
a low sound rumbles out of his chest, halfway between a sigh and a growl. his hands finally come up, settling at your hips, not gripping, not demanding. just anchoring.
âyou always do,â he mutters.
you lean down, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of his head. then another to his forehead. his nose. the corner of his mouth.
that gets him.
katsuki tilts his head up and catches your lips, slow and unhurried. no rush. no heat. just pure warmth and familiarity. the kind of kiss that says i missed you and i love you without a single word.
he kisses you again. and again. small, lingering presses that make his shoulders relax more each time.
when he finally pulls back, his head rests back on your stomach.
ââŠstay like this,â he says quietly. âjust me and you. yeah?â
your heart aches in the best way possible.
you cradle his face in both hands, thumbs brushing beneath his eyes. âiâm not going anywhere.â
katsuki closes his eyes, leaning into your touch like itâs the only thing holding him together. he stays there for a while, breathing slowly like heâs syncing himself to you.
after a second, katsuki gently tug your waist down to sit down on his lap. accepting his proposal, you gently smile at him.
your fingers then trace lazy patterns along his jaw, and he hums, actually hums, low and content, before he nuzzles closer. his nose brushes your cheek, then your neck, seeking warmth more than anything else.
âyou smell nice,â he murmurs, voice rough with exhaustion. âalways do.â
you smiled again and ran your fingers through his hair again, slower this time, letting your nails scratch lightly at his scalp. his grip on your hips tightens just a little, not possessiveâgrounding.
âhow did the training with beast jeanist go?â you ask softly.
he exhales. ââs alright. did a lot of stuff. learned something new.â
a pause.
ââŠand i miss you.â
that does it.
your heart swells, and without thinking, you couldn't help but to lean again and press a gentle kiss to his temple, then his cheek, then the corner of his mouth. katsuki, as always, tilts his head to catch your lips. but this time, it was deeper yet still slow, still careful.
he kisses like heâs savoring you.
like he has all the time in the world right now and only wants to spend it here.
one of his hands slides up your back, warm and steady, palm resting between your shoulder blades as if to say donât go anywhere.
and when you pull back just enough to breathe, he follows instinctively, chasing your lips with a soft, almost needy sound.
âbaby,â he mutters, embarrassed. âdonât tease.â
you laugh quietly and press another kiss to his lips, then his nose. âiâm not teasing. iâm pampering you.â
his ears turn faintly pink.
ââŠokay,â he says, then adds more quietly, âi like it when you do that.â
you guide him gently backward until heâs laying on your bed. while you, you turned off the lights and put the lamp into a dim setting. katsuki watched you with an uncharacteristically calm and eager expression until you settled beside him with your notes on the study table forgotten.
your boyfriend instantly buried his face on your chest as your hands found their way back over his shoulders, his chest, slow and reassuring.
katsuki looks up at you like this, unguarded, eyes heavy-lidded, mouth relaxed. and it feels like seeing something precious youâre not meant to rush.
he reaches up, brushing his thumb on your cheek.
âstay,â he repeats, softer now. âplease.â
you lean down and rest your forehead against his, your nose brushing his. âi won't leave.â
his eyes close immediately.
relief washes over his face, all tension finally draining from his shoulders as he buries himself even more into your warm embrace. he presses a lingering kiss in your jaw, holding you close like the world can wait.
how he takes care of your sudden headache and instantly becomes the best boyfriend ever (WISH HE WAS REAL)
the neon sign of the arcade buzzed with a relentless, low-frequency hum that seemed to vibrate directly behind your eyes.
the bakusquad had decided to spend their free time hanging around the arcade and enjoying themselves like adult toddlers. katsuki was against the idea at first, but after hearing you liking the idea, he caved in.
now, here you all are, playing yourself out.
then all of the sudden, your head started to spin a little. what had started as a dull, manageable throb on the train ride over had officially blossomed into a full-blown, annoying migraine. around you, the chaos of minaâs laughter, kirishimaâs boisterous cheering, sero's shouting, and kaminari aggressive tapping at a racing simulator felt like physical blows.
you tried to smile, leaning against the edge of a prize counter, but a sudden spike of pain made you wince, your eyes squeezing shut.
before you could even open them again, a heavy, calloused hand cupped the lower of your back. the familiar, comforting scent of caramelized sugar and sandalwood washed over you, instantly cutting through the stale, greasy air of the arcade.
"hey," katsukiâs voice was a low rumble, stripped entirely of its usual explosive volume. he was standing close, his broad frame effectively shielding you from the flashing lights of a nearby dance machine. "you're white as a sheet. the fuck's wrong?"
"just a small headache," you mumbled, leaning a fraction of an inch into his warm palm. "it's fine. i don't want to ruin the night."
katsuki let out a sharp tsk, his hand crawling up to sweep across the nape of your neck in a soothing, grounding motion. "i didn't ask if you wanted to ruin the night, idiot. i asked whatâs wrong. if you don't feel well, we're leaving.â
âno, seriously, i'm fineââ
he grabbed your hand, his fingers weaving firmly through yours, and marched over to the rest of the squad. "oi! we're heading out," he barked, though he still kept his volume noticeably lower than usual.
"aw, already?" kaminari groaned, holding up a handful of tokens. "we were just about to hit the rhythm games!"
âyeah! isn't that what you're looking forward to, y/n?â mina pouted.
âshe's not feeling well.â katsuki said.
"look outside, man," kirishima pointed toward the glass storefront.
during the past hour, the sky had completely ruptured. a torrential downpour was slamming against the pavement, turning the streets into a blurred, flooded mess. lightning flashed in the distance, followed by a heavy roll of thunder that made your head throb in sympathy. the trains were bound to be delayed, and walking back to the dorms in this monsoon was completely out of the question.
"shit,â katsuki growled, glaring at the rain as if he could blast the storm clouds out of the sky.
he looked down at you, noticing the way you shrunk slightly at the sound of the thunder. his expression softened into something fiercely protective. "fine. we'll just rest by the nearby diner.â
after telling the squad to just follow after their fun, katsuki guided you to the diner, which was thankfully connected to the arcade by a door so no need to go outside and get drenched by the wind with rain.
the diner was thankfully much quieter, smelling of coffee and rain. katsuki immediately claimed the corner booth, sliding you in first and closing the gap effectively trapping you away from the aisle and the bright overhead fixtures.
âdo you feel cold?â he asked.
you merely shook your head. âno, not at all.â
katsuki didn't buy that. he took off his jacket and wrapped it around your shoulder. his familiar scent already crept out to your senses as comfort washed over your body.
fast forward, not even five minutes had passed, the squad had gathered back, squeezing themselves on the booth.
âare you alright, babe?â mina asked, worried wretches on her face.
âjust having a little migraine, nothing serious.â you gave her a tired smile.
âooh, i have paracetamol here.â kirishima hands you the pill, katsuki receives it on your behalf.
âthanks, kiri.â you mumbled.
âno worries,â he smiled.
katsuki makes you drink paracetamol. as the others began enthusiastically debating what to order, your boyfriend turned his full attention to you. he slid his arm over your shoulders, pulling you flush against his side.
"c'mere," he murmured.
with a gentle but unyielding grip, he guided your head down, tucking your face directly into the crook of his neck. you let out a shaky sigh of relief, burying your nose against his warm skin. the heat radiating from his quirk was like a localized heating pad, melting away the tension in your jaw and shoulders. he wrapped his thick arm securely around your waist, pulling you so close that you could feel the steady, rhythmic thumping of his heart against your cheek.
"better?" he muttered into your hair.
"mmh. so much better," you breathed, your voice muffled against his collarbone.
katsukiâs free hand found its way to your head. his blunt fingers gently threaded through your hair, massaging your scalp in slow, deliberate circles. he knew exactly where the tension gathered, and his touch was surprisingly tender, a stark contrast to his usual rough exterior.
"hey, bakugo, do you guys want to split the friesâ" mina started, but she was instantly cut off by katsukiâs lethal glare.
"keep your damn voice down," katsuki hissed, his eyes narrowing at his friends. "sheâs got a migraine. if any of you extra loud bastards wake her up, i'll blast you into next week. order whatever the fuck you want, just be quiet."
sero held up his hands in a placating gesture, whispering a soft, "sorry, bro," while mina gave an apologetic, looped-finger salute, her eyes softening at the sight of the explosive blonde acting like a protective guard dog to his girlfriend.
for the next hour, the squad returns to the arcade and katsuki is completely tuned out from the rest of the world. his entire universe narrowed down to the girl resting against his chest.
every few minutes, he would check on you. heâd press his lips softly against the crown of your head, inhaling the scent of your shampoo. when a particularly loud clap of thunder rattled the diner's windows, his arm tightened around your waist automatically, anchoring you to him.
"you asleep?" he whispered, his chest vibrating against your cheek.
"no," you murmured sleepily, tilting your head up just a fraction. "just resting. your hands are really warm."
"my quirk makes my body temperature higher. you know that, dumbass." he rumbled, but there was no heat in his words. he leaned down, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead, his lips warm and dry against your skin. "try to sleep. i've got you."
he shifted slightly, pulling his jacket tighter around your shoulders to block out the ambient light of the diner. his hand resumed its slow, soothing strokes through your hair, occasionally dropping down to trace light patterns on your arm.
while you were resting, katsuki ordered some fries with the flavor you liked. and when the food arrived, katsuki managed to eat a few bites with his other hand still wrapped around yours, refusing to move even an inch that was holding you captive against him. he also offered you some bites when he noticed your eyes open.
at one point, he used his thumb to gently rub a soothing ointment he always carried because he knows how migraines, motion sickness, and body aches can be a troublesome to you. he puts a right amount in his fingers and gently inch it into your temples, his touch incredibly light and careful.
"does it still hurt bad?" he asked softly, leaning down so his breath fanned across your ear.
âa little less now," you whispered, pressing a small kiss to his collarbone in gratitude. "thank you, love."
you could feel the subtle shift in his chest as a small, rare smile tugged at his lips. he leaned down, catching your lips in a brief, sweet kiss that tasted faintly of your favorite flavored fries he'd eaten. it was gentle, grounding, and completely full of an affection he rarely showed in public.
"don't thank me," he mumbled against your lips, pressing one more kiss to the corner of your mouth for good measure. "i'm your boyfriend, course i'd do that. just close your eyes and sleep. the rain's slowing down. iâll carry you back when it stops."
nodding weakly, you buried your face back into the safe, warm haven of his neck. surrounded by his scent, wrapped in his heat, and guarded by his fierce devotion, the pain in your head finally began to fade, replaced by a deep, peaceful sleep.
â
the storm outside continued to drum a steady, rhythmic beat against the diner windows, but inside your little corner booth, the world had slowed to a quiet, warm crawl.
you hadnât completely fallen into a deep sleep, but more likely drifting into a heavy, comfortable haze where the throbbing in your temples was finally reduced to a distant, dull echo. katsukiâs hand hadn't stopped moving, his fingers still tracing slow, soothing lines along your shoulder, occasionally slipping up to gently massage the base of your skull.
"bakubro," kirishimaâs voice broke through the quiet, uncharacteristically soft and pitched low. "we're gonna grab the check. you want anything else before we wrap it up?"
you felt katsuki shift slightly, his chest expanding as he took a breath to answer. he didn't move his arm from around your waist, keeping you firmly tucked against his neck.
"get a hot tea. something with chamomile or whatever the fuck helps with headaches," katsuki muttered back, his voice a gravelly whisper. "and get me those custards and sweet rolls to go. she didn't eat anything."
"got it, bro."
you heard the squeak of the vinyl booth across from you as kirishima and the others slid out to head to the register. with the rest of the squad still in the arcade, the immediate space felt even quieter.
feeling a little bit of the heavy fog lifting from your brain, you shifted your head against his collarbone, blinking open your eyes. the ambient lighting of the diner felt a little less blinding now.
"awake now?" katsuki murmured. he didn't sound annoyed, if anything, his tone was completely grounded. he tilted his chin down, his crimson eyes locking onto yours with a quiet, intense focus. "howâs the head?"
"better," you croaked, your voice a little thick from resting. you gave him a small, tired smile. "still a little heavy, but the stabbing feeling is gone."
"good." katsuki let out a soft sigh, his thumb coming up to brush a stray lock of hair away from your forehead. his palm lingered there for a second, checking your temperature out of sheer habit. "silly brat. you shouldâve told me the second it started hurting. you always try to tough it out until you're practically fainting."
"i wanted to hang out with everyone," you admitted softly, shifting so you could look up at him a bit easier, though you didn't dare move away from his warmth. "and you were having fun."
katsuki tsked, a familiar grin finally tugging at the corner of his lips, though it lacked any real bite. "those idiots are always around. i don't give a shit about an arcade game if you're sitting there suffering in silence. use your brain next time."
despite the blunt words, the action that followed was entirely soft. he leaned down, pressing his lips firmly against your forehead, letting them linger there against your skin for a long, quiet moment. when he pulled back, his eyes drifted down to your lips. he looked around first and saw that no one was in sight and the booth basically shielded you two from the public.
"can i?" he asked, a rare, quiet courtesy he only ever used when he knew you weren't feeling well.
you answered by tilting your face up just a fraction more. katsuki caught your lips in a slow, deep kiss. it wasn't the fiery, passionate type he usually gave you when he was full of energyâthis was entirely tender, slow, and grounding. he tasted faintly of the soda heâd been sipping, and his lips were incredibly warm.
when he pulled away, he rubbed his thumb soothingly over your lower lip, his gaze incredibly soft.
"the rain's letting up a bit," he whispered, glancing out the window where the torrential downpour had finally subsided into a steady, misting drizzle. "they're bringing the tea. drink some of that, and then we're getting out of here."
"are we taking the train?" you asked, leaning your cheek back down against his chest, listening to the steady, comforting beat of his heart.
"hell no," katsuki rumbled, his arm tightening around your waist in a protective squeeze. "the stations are gonna be packed and loud as hell after a storm like this. i'm calling a cab. you're gonna rest the whole way back, and when we get to the dorms, you're going straight to sleep. clear?"
you couldn't help but chuckle softly, the vibration warming your chest. "clear,â
"good," he muttered, resting his chin on top of your head as kirishima walked back over with a steaming ceramic mug and a takeout bag. katsuki reached out, taking the mug carefully and holding it steady for you.
"now drink up, dumbass."
â
the cab ride back was a quiet, blurry haze of streetlights reflecting off wet asphalt and the rhythmic, metronomic click of the windshield wipers. katsuki had kept his arm around you the entire time, his thumb tracing soothing circles on your hip while you rested your head on his shoulder, watching the city lights smear past the rain-streaked window.
the rest of the squad had decided to stay for more because they were so hooked with the "just dance" game and made it a priority to beat the high score set by some dude on the song california girls. katsuki argued no more and decided to cut this hangout short because your well-being is more important than any games.
by the time the taxi pulled up to the dorm, the heavy, blinding pain in your head had subsided into a dull, manageable ache. still, your limbs felt like lead, the sheer exhaustion of fighting off a migraine leaving you completely drained.
katsuki didn't even give you a chance to open your car door. he slid out first, paid the driver, and immediately pulled you out after him, shielding you under the umbrella he aggressively borrowed from sero at the diner.
the common room was surprisingly quiet when the two of you walked in. a few classmates were scattered on the couches, but katsuki didn't stop to make conversation. he kept a firm hand on the small of your back, guiding you straight past the elevators and way to his room.
the moment his door clicked shut behind you, the familiar, grounding scent of caramelized sugar and clean laundry enveloped you. the room was dark, saved only by the faint amber glow of the city filtering through his window.
"sit," katsuki ordered softly, nudging you toward the edge of his unmade bed.
you dropped down onto the mattress, letting out a long, shuddering breath as the last of the outside world was shut away. katsuki moved efficiently through the dark. he took off his jacket around you and tossed it onto his desk chair, kicked off his boots, and immediately set to work. within seconds, he was kneeling in front of you, his large hands gently unlacing your shoes and sliding them off your feet.
"katsuki, i can do it," you murmured, your voice thick with sleep.
"i know, but let me do it," he muttered back, though there was zero heat in his voice.
he stood up, grabbing one of his oversized, worn-out black hoodies from his closet and tossing it into your lap, followed by a pair of soft sweatpants. "change into these. they're softer than whatever the fuck you're wearing."
while you sluggishly changed into his clothes, instantly drowning in his scent and the warmth of the heavy fabricâkatsuki walked over to his small bedside fridge. he grabbed a fresh bottle of water and retrieved the bag of custard and sweet rolls he ordered from the diner.
when you finished pulling the hoodie over your head, you found him standing over you, holding out another paracetamol and the water bottle.
"take it," he said, popping the cap for you. "and eat at least half of one of these rolls and custard. you can't take medicine on an empty stomach."
you broke off a piece of the sweet, fluffy bread, chewing slowly under his watchful, intense gaze. once he was satisfied that youâd eaten enough, he took the water bottle back, set it on his nightstand, and pulled the heavy comforter on his bed all the way down.
"come on," he commanded softly.
you crawled under the sheets, the cool fabric instantly soothing against your skin. before you could even settle, katsuki climbed in right after you. he didn't care that it was barely past nine pm, or that he still had homework heâd planned to finish. none of it mattered.
he pulled you back against his chest, wrapping his arms securely around your waist from behind, pulling you flush against his heat. one of his large hands slid back into your hair, his fingers gently massaging the base of your neck where the last bit of tension remained.
"you comfy?" he whispered against the shell of your ear, his breath warm and steady.
"very," you sighed, letting your eyes finally close as you melted into his hold. "you're like a giant heating pad."
he let out a low, amused huff that vibrated against your back. âyeah, yeah. keep talking and i'll turn the heat off."
but he didn't. instead, he leaned over, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the side of your neck, his lips warm and heavy against your skin.
âlove?â you mumbled before sleep can consume you.
âyeah?â
âthank you for taking care of me.â you looked at him with your eyes half-lidded with drowsiness.
katsuki's expression instantly softens as you land a peck on your lips.
âwhatever. go to sleepâŠi love you,â
you crack up a smile. âi love you too.â
with that, he held you tightly, his rhythmic breathing eventually syncing up with yours. protected, warm, and entirely safe in his hold. the last traces of your headache finally vanished, leaving nothing but peace as you drifted off to sleep.
a/n: HE'S SOOOO...!!! had a little daydream abt this while on my internship and suddenly got a headache...i feel incredibly lonely and unemployed </3
katsuki absolutely loves it when you sleep on top of him
the afternoon sun filtered through the dormitory curtains in soft strips of gold, the kind that made everything feel slower, quieter. like the world itself was taking a breath after the chaos of the day.
training had been brutal. even by u.a. standards, todayâs session had wrung every ounce of energy from the students. endurance drills, strategy simulations, you name it all. and by the time everyone dragged themselves back to the dorms, most of them looked ready to collapse.
you were no different. your limbs felt heavy, your muscles still humming with exhaustion as you shuffled into your room, barely managing to kick your shoes off before dropping onto your bed with a tired groan. the mattress dipped under your weight, cool sheets against your warm skin, and you stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment, letting the quiet settle into your bones.
a nap sounded heavenly. just a short one, no, thirty minutes or maybe an hourâbefore you had to deal with homework or dinner or whatever else the evening had planned.
your phone buzzed beside you just as your eyes began to flutter closed. the contact name made the corner of your lips lift instantly.
katsuki :3 is callingâŠ
you answered lazily, voice soft with fatigue. âyeah?â
on the other end, his voice came out rougher than usual, like heâd also just collapsed somewhere. âwhatâre you doing?â
you shifted on your bed, turning onto your side and tucking the phone between your ear and shoulder. âwas about to take a nap,â you murmured honestly. âtraining drained all of my life.â
there was a brief pause. you could practically hear the way his brain worked during that silenceâquick, decisive.
ââŠiâm coming over.â
you blinked. âhuh? waitâkatsukiââ
but the call had already ended.
you stared at your phone for a moment, confused but too tired to question it too much. if he was coming, he was coming. it wasnât exactly unusual for him to barge into your room unannounced anyway. with a quiet sigh, you adjusted your pillow and closed your eyes again, the distant sounds of the dorm hallway fading into a sleepy blur.
a few minutes later, your door clicked open.
katsuki stepped inside without hesitation, closing it behind him with a soft push of his foot. his hair was still slightly damp from a quick shower, ash-blond spikes a little messier than usual, and he wore nothing but a loose black shirt and sweatpants. he looked tiredâshoulders relaxed in that rare way they only were when he was around youâbut his sharp red eyes softened immediately when he saw you curled up on the bed.
you were already half-asleep.
your arm was draped over your pillow, breathing slow and heavy, clearly seconds away from drifting off completely.
âhmph,â he muttered quietly to himself, though there was no real annoyance in it.
he crossed the room in a few strides.
the mattress dipped as he climbed onto the bed beside you. before you could fully process what he was doing, strong hands slid beneath your arms and waist. you let out a small, confused sound as the world shiftedâsuddenly lifted, repositioned.
âkatsukiâ?â
your eyes opened just enough to see him settling against the headboard, back propped up against the pillows. Then he pulled you down with him.
your legs ended up on either side of his waist, straddling him loosely while both of you leaned back into the mattress. his arms wrapped securely around you, one hand resting against your back as if anchoring you there. your chest rested against his, your head naturally falling against his shoulder.
it was surprisingly comfortable.
warm.
safe.
your sleepy brain struggled to catch up. âwhat are you doingâŠ?â you mumbled, voice thick with drowsiness.
you shifted slightly, about to climb off him, embarrassed now that you realized the position you were in.
but katsukiâs arm tightened immediately.
âstay still.â
his voice was lowâfirm, but not harsh.
you paused.
âyou said you wanted to sleep,â he added, glancing down at you.
ââŠyeah,â you admitted.
âthen sleep.â
you frowned faintly, still half-asleep. âbut iâm⊠on top of you.â
âyeah,â he said bluntly. âand?â
you blinked at him, confused by how normal he seemed about it.
when you tried to move again, his hand slid up to the back of your head, gently pressing your face into the crook of his neck.
âquit thinking so much,â he muttered. âjust rest.â
the warmth of his body seeped into yours. his steady breathing, the soft rise and fall of his chest beneath you, the comforting weight of his armsâit all wrapped around your tired mind like a blanket.
your resistance lasted maybe five seconds.
ââŠokay.â
within minutes, your body completely relaxed against him. your grip on his shirt loosened, breathing evening out as sleep finally claimed you.
katsuki felt the exact moment you drifted off.
your muscles softened, your head growing heavier against his shoulder as you unconsciously snuggled closer. he let out a quiet breath.
âyeah,â he murmured under his breath.
this was exactly why he came over.
carefully, he shifted just enough to grab his phone from his pocket without disturbing you. one arm remained wrapped firmly around your waist while the other held the device up lazily. a random video played quietly on the screenâsomething dumb that kaminari had sent earlierâbut katsuki barely paid attention to it. however, he made sure that he sent an insult to the group chat.
because most of focus stayed on you.
every now and then his eyes flickered down, watching the way your lashes rested against your cheeks. the faint crease between your brows slowly smoothed as sleep deepened. your hand had curled loosely into the fabric of his shirt, knuckles brushing against his collarbone.
you looked so peaceful.
training days were always hard on you, he knew that. you pushed yourself just as much as anyone elseâsometimes more. seeing you like this, completely relaxed, trusting him enough to fall asleep so easilyâŠ
it did something weird to his chest.
katsuki shifted his phone to the side for a moment.
his free hand moved almost automatically, fingers threading gently through your hair. not enough to wake youâjust a soft, absentminded motion.
âtch,â he muttered quietly, though his voice lacked its usual bite.
he could feel all of you. from how your legs were tangled around his waist, down to the thought of your full weight resting on him.
and yetâ
he wouldnât move you for anything.
instead, he leaned his head back against the headboard, one arm still wrapped securely around you as if you might disappear if he loosened his grip.
a few minutes passed.
then ten.
then twenty.
the video on his phone changed nine times before he realized he hadnât actually watched any of them.
his attention kept drifting back to you. the way you shifted slightly in your sleep, pressing closer. the soft puff of breath against his collarbone. the faint warmth spread through his shirt where your cheek rested.
a small, almost invisible smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
â...we should do this more often,â he muttered under his breath.
the truth was, katsuki absolutely loved it when you napped on top of him. he loved the quietness you provided. loved knowing you felt safe enough to fall asleep like this. loved the way you instinctively curled into him like he was the most natural place in the world to rest.
his fingers continued absentmindedly brushing through your hair as he leaned his head slightly against yours.
and even an hour later, when his phone battery finally dropped to ten percent and the afternoon sunlight faded into eveningâ
he still didnât move.
â
evening crept into the dorm slowly, the golden sunlight fading into softer shades of orange and pink that stretched across the walls of your room. the air had cooled just a little, the quiet hum of the building settling as most students were either resting, studying, or beginning to wander toward the kitchen for dinner. inside your room, however, nothing had changed much.
you were still fast asleep on top of katsuki.
your body had shifted at some point during your nap, legs now more loosely tangled around his waist while your head rested fully against his chest instead of his shoulder. your cheek was pressed right over his heart, and if you were awake, you might have noticed how steady and strong it sounded beneath your ear. one of your arms was lazily draped across his torso, fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt like you were afraid he might disappear if you let go.
again, katsuki had not moved.
not once.
at first, he had been perfectly fine with itâmore than fine, actually. this had been his whole idea. but after nearly an hour and a half of being pinned under you, his arm had started to go a little numb, and his back wasnât exactly thrilled with the position either.
still, he refused to shift.
because every time you stirred slightly in your sleep, pressing closer to him with a small sigh, it made his chest tighten in a way he couldnât quite explain.
he also managed to charge his phone using your charger and now it rested loosely in his hand, screen dimmed after he had stopped scrolling through it a while ago. at some point he had given up pretending he was doing anything other than watching you sleep.
âtch,â he muttered quietly under his breath.
you're really that tired, huh?
your breathing was slow and even, warm against his shirt. a few strands of your hair had fallen across your face, tickling his chin whenever you shifted slightly. he watched you for a moment longer before carefully lifting his free hand.
his fingers brushed the strands away from your face. the gesture was surprisingly gentle for someone like him.
you stirred slightly at the movement, nose scrunching faintly as you shifted against him. katsuki immediately froze, muscles locking up as he waited to see if you would wake up.
but you didnât.
instead, you made a soft, sleepy sound and somehow managed to snuggle even closer. your arms tightened around him. your face buried deeper into his chest.
katsukiâs ears turned red instantly. ââŠoi.â
he glanced down at you like you had personally attacked him.
âyouâre doing that on purpose, arenât you?â
of course, you didnât respond.
you were completely unconscious.
after a moment, he sighed quietly and leaned his head back against the headboard again. his hand returned to your hair, fingers absentmindedly combing through the soft strands while his thumb occasionally brushed against your scalp.
it was quiet, peaceful even.
and katsuki may not fully admit it, but he liked this a lot more than whatever the hell everyone else was doing downstairs.
his gaze drifted toward the door when faint laughter echoed somewhere down the hallway. probably kaminari or mina being loud again. normally, katsuki wouldâve gone out there just to yell at them.
but not today.
he looked back down at you.
your face was relaxed in sleep, lips slightly parted, completely unaware of how comfortable you looked curled against him. his hand paused briefly in your hair.
ââŠyouâre too damn trusting,â he muttered.
hot that heâd ever do anything to break it. if anything, the way you trusted him like this only made something inside him tighten protectively.
another thirty minutes passed.
at some point, katsukiâs arm had shifted slightly under your back so you wouldnât roll off him. his hand rested there now, large and warm, fingers spread comfortably against your side. your breathing has changed just a littleâlighter now.
you were starting to wake up.
katsuki noticed immediately.
your lashes fluttered faintly, and your grip on his shirt tightened for a second before loosening again. you shifted, legs adjusting slightly around his waist.
ââŠmmm.â
your voice came out soft and groggy. your head moved just enough for you to blink slowly against his chest.
the first thing you registered was warmth.
the second thing was the steady rise and fall beneath your cheek.
your brain took a moment to catch up. then your eyes widened slightly.
ââŠkatsuki?â
his voice came from above you, calm and slightly rough. âtook you long enough.â
you lifted your head just enough to look at him. his red eyes stared back down at you, expression completely neutral like there was nothing unusual about the fact that you had been sleeping on top of him for hours.
âhow long was i asleep?â you murmured, still clearly half-dazed.
âa while.â
ââŠyou didnât move?â
âno.â
your brows knit together slightly in confusion. âwhy not?â
katsuki scoffed quietly. âbecause you were sleeping, dumbass.â
you blinked at him. then your face slowly warmed when you realized the position you were still in. you were literally sprawled across him. your legs were still on either side of his waist. your arms are still loosely around him. your face immediately flushed.
âkatsukiâbaby, why didnât you wake me up?!â
he rolled his eyes, though there was the faintest hint of amusement in them.
âwhy the hell would i do that?â
your embarrassment only grew.
âiâve been laying on you the whole time!â
âand?â
you stared at him, baffled.
âand youâre probably uncomfortable!â
katsuki simply shrugged one shoulder.
ââŠwasnât that bad.â
that was half a lie, but he wasnât about to admit that his arm had gone numb twice.
you looked at him suspiciously for a moment before slowly relaxing again. your body sank back against him slightly, the last traces of sleep still clinging to you.
ââŠyouâre weird,â you mumbled softly.
âshut up.â
but his hand returned to the back of your head anyway, gently pressing you back against his chest when you tried to sit up again.
you blinked in surprise.
âwhat are you doing?â
âstill tired, right?â he muttered.
you hesitated. âyeahâŠa little."
âthen stay.â
your heart skipped slightly at how casual he sounded about it. katsuki glanced down at you again, his expression softer than usual.
ââŠcome one, babe. i donât mind.â
and judging by the way his arm tightened slightly around your waistâ
synopsis: haunted by a thirty-second glimpse into the future that showed you exactly how your devotion to katsuki bakugo would end. so to save your own heart, you stopped following himâyou pulled back. but you didn't realize that breaking the timeline would turn the invincible bakugo into a desperate, sleepless ghost for your attention
tags: katsuki bakugo x f!reader, yearner!katsuki, jealous!katsuki, slowburn, misunderstanding, angst with happy ending, mentioned of other mha characters, tw: detachment
word count: 17.8k (oh my god)
a/n: not thoroughly proofread so grammar errors ahead. this is also my first looooong oneshot posted with this kind of formatâgonna do more in the near future
you had always been right behind him.Â
for as long as you could remember, katsukiâs back was the view you were most familiar with. it wasnât an accident, either. every step you took was intentional, a careful dance of showing up in his space just enough to make your presence known but trying not to push him over the edge.Â
youâd drop his favorite spicy snacks on his desk without a word, linger by the lockers just to walk three paces behind him on the way home, and offer him those quiet, lingering smiles that meant absolutely everything if he just bothered to look.
but katsuki didnât look. or, if he did, it was only to turn around and bark at you to get out of his face.
"stop following me, you damn extra," heâd growl, small sparks popping from his palms, his eyes narrowed in that perpetual scowl.
but youâd just blink, smile softly, and take half a step back. you never stopped, though. in your mind, that was just katsuki being katsuki. he was loud, abrasive, and fiercely defensive of his boundaries. you convinced yourself that his harsh words were just his way of processing the attention, a shield he put up because he didn't know how to handle someone genuinely caring for him.Â
you told yourself that if you just stayed consistent, if you remained the one constant presence in his chaotic, explosive world, he would eventually soften. you thought time was on your side.
then came the hero internships.
you had been offered to work at a reputable agency in the commercial district, a busy zone where the streets were tight and the pedestrian traffic was thick. it was a routine afternoon patrol, the air smelling of asphalt and exhaust, when the perimeter alarm cut through the noise. the villain was low-tier, panic-stricken and cornered in an alleyway, swinging widely with a quirk that manifested as thin, iridescent rings of violet light spinning from their fingertips.
âyour mentor had yelled a warning, but you were already moving to cut off the escape route. in the process, before your quirk could stop it, he got you first. you didn't feel pain when the violet light clipped your shoulderâonly a sudden, violent drop in atmospheric pressure that seemed to suck the oxygen right out of your lungs.Â
the world didn't blurâit sharpened until it hurt.
âthe alley faded, replaced instantly by the harsh, clinical glare of a convenience store window. the air felt entirely different, it was freezing, the deep, biting cold of a late january evening. you were standing on a snow-dusted sidewalk, looking down at your own hands. they were older, slightly scarred, wearing a winter coat you didn't own.
âand there, three feet away under the flickering neon sign, stood katsuki.
âhe wasn't wearing his school uniform or his standard hero gear. he wore a heavy dark jacket with the collar turned up against the wind, his blond hair dusted with white flakes. but it wasn't his clothes that made your breath catch in your throat, it was the look in his eyes. the usual explosive irritation was entirely absent, replaced by a cold, flat finality that felt heavier than any shout he had ever directed at you.
â"stop doing this," his voice sounded older, rougher from the winter air, slicing through the quiet night. "iâm saying it now so you finally get it through your stupid head. i don't want you following me. i don't want your notes i don't want your drinks, i don't want you hovering over me, and i don't want you looking at me like that."
âin the vision, you felt your future self try to speak, a familiar defense rising to your lips, but he cut you off before the sound could even form.
â"iâm not being difficult, and iâm not playing around," he said, his hands deep in his pockets, his gaze dropping to the frozen ground between you before lifting back up, unblinking. "i don't feel anything for you⊠there'sâŠiâm already looking at someone else. thereâs a girl at jeanistâs agency. sheâs smart, she actually keeps up with me without making it weird, and i want to pursue her. so stay the fuck out of my way and find someone else to waste your time on because you're really annoying."
âthe words didn't just sting, they carried the weight of a absolute truth that you couldn't argue with. through your own future eyes, you saw the tiny, subtle shifts in his postureâthe way his shoulders relaxed slightly when he spoke of the other girl, a micro-expression of genuine interest that he had never, not once, given to you. he wasn't angry. he was just completely, utterly indifferent to you, and entirely occupied by someone else.
âwith a violent shudder, the snow and the neon light vanished. the cold air was replaced by the humid heat of the alleyway, the sound of your mentorâs boots rushing toward you, and the smell of ozone. the villain was on the ground, restrained, and you were trembling so hard your knees hit the pavement.
the next thing you knew, you were sent into a hospital for a check up. â
"a temporal displacement quirk," the doctor at the clinic explained later, tapping the medical chart with a dull pen while you sat numbly on the examination table. "it doesn't hurt the physical body, but it projects consciousness exactly into the subject's most probable personal future for about thirty seconds. a highly specific psychological deterrent. are you feeling any vertigo?"
â"no," you whispered, your voice sounding small and hollow in the sterile room. "no vertigo.â
when the internship week finally ended and everyone returned to the standard u.a. dorms, the atmosphere was lively. classmates were laughing, exchanging stories, and complaining about their mentors.
you sat on the common room sofa, your knees pulled tight to your chest, staring blankly at the floor. across the room, the main doors slid open, and katsuki walked in, his gym bag slung over one shoulder, looking as prickly and exhausted as ever.
your habit, deep and hardwired into your brain, urges you to stand up. your feet twitched to walk over to him, your mouth almost opened to ask him how his week with best jeanist had been, to offer him a drink, to do anything to get into his orbit.
but then the memory of the lavender light flashed in your mind. you saw the cold indifference in his eyes from a year away. you thought about the girl he was destined to chase, the girl who would effortlessly get the affection you had spent years begging for with your silent devotion.
so you stayed seated. you forced your hidden eyes down to your arms, your fingers gripping the fabric of your pants until your knuckles turned white.
katsuki paused near the entrance, his sharp eyes scanning the room. his gaze lingered on the sofa, landing squarely on you. he waited for a second. two seconds. three. usually, by this point, you would have already tripped over your own feet to greet him.
when you didn't move, when you didn't even look up to meet his eyes, a small, barely perceptible crease formed between his brows. he let out a harsh huff, muttered something about stupid extras under his breath, and marched off toward the elevator.
you secretly watched the elevator doors close behind him, a heavy, suffocating weight settling into your ribs. the future hadn't happened yet, but the illusion was gone. you had finally stopped following him, but the silence you left behind felt heavier than any explosion he had ever set off.
â
the next morning, the change was instantaneous, though it took the rest of the class a few days to fully register the shift. when the bell rang for lunch, you didn't wait by the door or adjust your pace to fall in behind him. you packed your notebooks into your bag with precise, quiet movements and walked out with some of the girls from the other side of the room, laughing at a joke you barely heard.
âfrom across the classroom, katsukiâs hand paused over his desk. he didn't look up immediately, but his brow furrowed as the familiar shadow that usually lingered near his left shoulder simply failed to appear. he caught a glimpse of your sleeve disappearing around the doorframe, surrounded by a group that didn't include him. he snorted, shoving his hands into his pockets.Â
finally figured out how to use her brain, he thought, though the silence behind him felt strangely loud.
âbut as the week wore on, the silence didn't go away. it stretched, becoming a permanent boundary.
âyou stopped leaving things on his desk. the specific brand of sports drink vanished from his locker, replaced by nothing. during hero training sessions at the unpredicted simulation yard, when the class was broken into pairs or small groups, you no longer volunteered to be on his team or stood near his designated area to watch his execution of vertical bursts.Â
if the instructors placed you together, you maintained a flawless, entirely professional distanceâspeaking only in clear, concise tactical terms, executing your support maneuvers with perfect timing, and walking away the exact second the timer hit zero.
then âone afternoon, during a mandatory strategy review in the library, a small group had gathered around a large oak table. you were sitting next to jiro, reviewing structural blueprints for an upcoming urban combat exam. katsuki was two chairs down, his legs kicked out under the table, his arms crossed over his chest while he listened to iida lecture on positioning.
âwithout thinking, jiro reached for a highlighter that had rolled toward katsukiâs elbow. "hey, bakugo, pass that over?"
âhe didn't move for a second, his red eyes tracking the bright yellow plastic before he flicked it carelessly across the wood. it didn't slide toward jiroâit rolled straight toward your hand, tapping against your knuckles.
âmonths ago, you would have used that tiny interaction as an excuse to look at him, to offer a quick, bright word of thanks that tried to draw him out. now, you didn't even lift your eyes from the blueprint. your hand moved mechanically, stopping the marker, picking it up, and handing it directly to jiro without a single hitch in your breath.
â"here you go," you said softly, pointing to a sector on the map. "if we seal this exit first, the recovery team has a safer extraction route."
âkatsukiâs eyes narrowed. he stared at the side of your face, his gaze burning into your cheek, waiting for that familiar, annoying shift of your eyes toward himâthe little look that always told him you were paying attention to him above everyone else. but your profile remained completely still, your attention entirely fixed on the blue ink of the map. a strange, prickly heat started at the base of his neck, not quite anger, but a raw, irritating confusion that he couldn't shake off.
âby the time winter began to set in, the distance between you was an established fact. you had grown stronger, your grades had risen, and your performance on the field was sharper because you were no longer splitting your focus between the exercise and his safety. you had reclaimed all the energy you used to scatter at his feet, pulling it back inside yourself like a shield.
âit was late december when the first real snow began to fall, turning the campus grounds into a quiet, white expanse. you were leaving the support studio after hours, carrying a box of upgraded gear components back to the dorms. the air was crisp, freezing your breath into small clouds before you.
âas you rounded the corner near the gym, you saw him. he was leaning against the brick wall, his hands deep in his pockets, his heavy dark winter jacket zipped up to his chin. the exact jacket from the vision.
âyour chest tightened, a cold knot forming in your stomach as you realized the timeline was narrowing. the convenience store where the rejection was supposed to happen was only a few blocks outside the campus gates. you kept your head down, tightening your grip on the cardboard box, intending to pass him by without a word.
â"stop," he said.
âit wasn't a shout. it was the same low, rough tone from your memory, cutting through the quiet flutter of the falling snow.
âyou stopped, three feet away, your boots crunching softly on the thin layer of ice. you didn't look at his eyes, you looked at the neon sign of the convenience store that you knew was sitting just down the road, wondering if this was the moment the path corrected itself.
âkatsuki straightened up from the wall, taking a single step toward you. his eyes were fixed on yours, searching your face with a fierce, frustrated intensity that hadn't been there in the vision you saw months ago.
â"what the hell are you doing?" he demanded, his voice dropping into a harsh whisper. "you spent a whole year acting like a parasite, and now you don't even look in my direction. you don't say anything to me. you act like iâm a brick wall."
âyou looked at him then, really looked at him, and the fear of the future suddenly faded into a profound, exhausted calm. the quirk had shown you his truth, and because you had accepted it so long ago, the sting was gone.
â"iâm just doing what you wanted, katsuki," you said, your voice steady and quiet in the cold air. "iâm staying out of your way. iâm not making it weird anymore."
âhis jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together so hard you could see the muscle leap in his cheek. "i didn't tell you to become a ghost."
â"you didn't have to," you replied, lifting your chin slightly, looking at him with the clear, detached kindness that you would offer any other classmate. "i realized i was wasting your time, and mine. you don't have to worry about me following you around anymore. you're free to focus on your work at best jeanist's agency. you don't owe me anything."
âyou stepped around him, your movements fluid and unhurried, your boots leaving a clean, solitary set of tracks in the fresh snow.
âkatsuki stood frozen by the brick wall, his hands curling into tight fists inside his pockets as the cold wind swept between you. he looked down at the empty space where you had been standing, then out toward the snowy path leading back to the dorms.Â
to you, there was no winter convenience store, no girl from the agency to talk about, and no clean rejection left to give. you had already taken your heart back, leaving him alone in the snow with the absolute silence he had always asked for.
â
the door to the common room slammed shut behind him, the force of it rattling the small plastic keychains mina had hung from the message board. katsuki didn't look back. he kicked his boots off with unnecessary violence, shoving them into the cubby before tramping up the elevator to his floor, his shoulders hunched so tight they looked like stone.
he threw himself onto his desk chair, the wheels groaning against the floor. his room was dark, save for the pale grey light of the winter evening filtering through the blinds, casting long, barred shadows across his training mats. he didn't turn on the lamp. he just sat there, staring at the blank screen of his computer, his fingers twitching against his thighs.
what the hell was that?
the words from the courtyard kept looping in his head, distinct and heavy, stripped of the soft, lingering tone he had spent over a year trying to drown out.Â
iâm just doing what you wanted. iâm not making it weird anymore.
it made no goddamn sense. he hadn't said anything to you. not recently, anyway. sure, heâd told you to get bent a thousand times during their first year, called you an extra, told you were loud and irritating and that your stupid little smiles were a waste of oxygen. but you had always just laughed it off, your eyes crinkling at the corners like you knew some secret joke he wasn't in on. you had stayed, regular as the clock, always three paces behind him.
and then, overnight, nothing.
he clenched his fists, the skin of his knuckles pulling taut. he should have been ecstatic. for months, the bakusquad hadn't shut up about it. kirishima would give him that stupid, knowing nudge whenever she walked past their table with a bento box, and sero would make some crack about katsuki finally meeting his match in endurance. kaminari had literally spent an hour one night complaining about how katsuki was "squandering the ultimate devotion" while he couldn't even get a text back from a support girl.
now? the teasing had completely died. the kitchen table was just a kitchen table. no one dropped off a specific brand of electrolytes drink in his locker after a heavy blast session, which meant his throat stayed dry unless he walked all the way to the vending machines himself. no one was lingering by the gym doors when he stayed late, pretending to check her phone while waiting for him to finish so they could walk back across the dark campus together.
he was completely, entirely left alone. it was exactly what he had demanded since the day he entered u.a.
"so why the fuck am i so pissed off?" he muttered to the empty room, his voice a low, raspy growl.
it wasn't just that you had stopped. it was the way you had done itâlike you had looked at him, weighed him in your mind, and decided he wasn't worth the trouble anymore. the indifference in your face back there in the snow hadn't been angry. it had been hollow. you had looked at him the same way you looked at the support boxes or the blueprint mapsâlike he was just an object in the room. an obstacle to be stepped around.
downstairs, the kitchen was quiet compared to its usual roar, though the rest of the squad was gathered around the counter.
"hey, man," kirishima said, looking up with a hesitant expression as katsuki finally came back down an hour later, his hands buried deep in his pockets. "you want some of the katsudon? sato made extra."
"don't want it," katsuki snapped, moving past them toward the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water.
sero leaned back against the counter, exchanging a look with kaminari before clearing his throat. "so... uh. we noticed things have been kinda quiet lately. did you finally say something crazy to her, bakugo? because she hasn't even looked toward our couch in like three weeks. mina tried to invite her to the movie night yesterday and she just said she had to study research methods."
katsuki froze, his hand still gripping the plastic neck of the water bottle. his red eyes flared as he whipped around to face them. "i didn't say shit to her. she just started acting like a freak out of nowhere."
"dude, people don't just switch off like that," kaminari said, his tone unusually grounded. "she used to literally memorize your training schedule so she could make sure the recovery girl's office had the right ointment for your palms. now she treats you like you're a substitute teacher."
"i don't care what she does!" katsuki yelled, the water bottle crinkling loudly under the sudden pressure of his grip. "sheâs an extra! sheâs always been an extra! if she finally realized she was being annoying, thatâs her business. stop asking me about her!"
he stormed back toward the elevators, leaving the three of them standing in the kitchen, the silence thick and uncomfortable. none of them had the answer, because whenever they tried to ask you during class, you would just give them a polite, entirely neutral smile and change the subject to the upcoming finals.Â
you weren't angry at themâyou had just removed yourself from katsukiâs entire universe, and because they were his friends, they had been left on the outside of the fence too.
the weeks crawled by, the winter deepening until the ground was permanently covered in a hard, grey crust of frozen slush.
inside your own head, the weight of the vision hadn't fully lifted. you were still down, a quiet, lingering sadness settling into the corners of your thoughts whenever you caught a glimpse of katsukiâs dark winter jacket in the hallway. you were trying your absolute best to keep everything completely professional, to ensure that no part of your old affection leaked through into your current work.Â
it was exhausting, like constantly holding a shield up against a wind that wasn't even blowing anymore. you had to think about every step, every word, making sure your voice stayed flat, making sure your eyes never drifted to the blond hair three rows ahead of you.
then came the late january practical.
the class was lined up in gym gamma, the massive concrete structures towering above them like artificial cliffs. aizawa stood at the front, his yellow sleeping bag slung over his shoulder, his bloodshot eyes scanning the rows of students.
"today's exercise is a standard extraction and containment drill," aizawa announced, his voice flat. "close-quarters combat in a collapsing urban environment. the pairs have been determined by your mid-term performance metrics to balance support and offensive capabilities. when i call your names, move to your designated entry point."
you waited, your fingers curling around the strap of your gear bag. you heard katsukiâs name called with kaminari, a heavy sigh escaping the blonde boy as he grumbled about having to carry the idiot through a concrete maze.
"pair five," aizawaâs voice cut through your thoughts. "todoroki and l/n. entry point south."
you blinked, looking over at the half-hot, half-cold boy standing a few paces away. shoto was already looking at you, his heterochromatic eyes calm and completely unreadable. he gave you a small, single nod of acknowledgement.
"right," you muttered, your chest loosening just a fraction. todoroki was quiet. he didn't ask questions, he didn't participate in the dorm gossip, and he was efficient. it was exactly the kind of pairing you needed right nowâsomeone who wouldn't try to look beneath the surface of your current silence.
as you walked past the center line to join shoto, your shoulder brushed past katsuki, who was waiting for his own route to be called.
he didn't move out of the way. his head was turned toward you, his teeth bared in a silent, tense scowl that seemed to radiate from him like heat waves. his eyes tracked you as you took your place next to todoroki, his gaze dropping to the way shoto immediately leaned slightly toward you to check the map on your wrist device.
"the terrain is heavy on the eastern flank," todoroki said, his low voice carrying clearly across the short distance between the pairs. "i can build an ice ramp to clear the first three stories if your gear can handle the low temperature."
"it can," you replied, your voice light, regular, and free of the heavy caution you always used when katsuki was near. "the new heat-coils in my boots should keep the ice from freezing the joints. letâs do that."
katsuki watched the way you looked up at todorokiânot with the soft, intense longing you used to give him, but with a comfortable, completely relaxed ease that he hadn't seen on your face in months. you weren't on guard with the half-and-half bastard. you weren't trying to shrink yourself to avoid a fight.
a sudden, violent spark popped from katsukiâs right palm, the sharp snap of the explosion loud against the concrete floor of the gym.
"everyone, pay attention," aizawa snapped from the front.
katsuki didn't look at the teacher. his eyes were still locked onto the back of your uniform as you and todoroki turned toward the southern gate, his chest burning with a strange, dark fury that had nothing to do with the training drill.
â
who knew that a simple paired activity would bloom into something resembling friends had happened without either of you making a conscious effort. todoroki was like a quiet room after a long day of shoutingâhe didn't require you to fill the silence with explanations, and he never pushed against the boundaries you had so carefully built around yourself over the last two months.
it was nearly eleven at night, and the u.a. dorm kitchen was entirely dark save for the warm, yellow glow of the pendant light hanging over the central island. the rest of the class had gone upstairs hours ago, leaving only the two of you surrounded by open textbooks, scattered sheets of graph paper, and two half-empty mugs of barley tea.
you were staring down at a complex statistical breakdown of hero response times, the numbers blurring together under the weight of your own exhaustion. across from you, shoto was mechanically flipping a page in his notebook, his movements rhythmic and calm.
"you're staring at the same line," shoto said softly, breaking the silence without looking up from his text. "you've been on that paragraph for ten minutes."
you blinked, pulling your shoulders back with a small, self-deprecating laugh. "yeah. sorry. my brain is just a little fried tonight, i guess."
"you don't have to apologize," he said. he set his mechanical pencil down on the wood, the small click sounding loud in the quiet kitchen. he reached for his mug, took a slow sip, and then fixed his heterochromatic eyes directly on yours.Â
"can i ask you something?"
"sure," you murmured, closing your textbook halfway. "what is it?"
"what happened to you and bakugo?"
the question felt like a sudden drop in temperature. your fingers tightened instantly around the edge of your notebook, the cardboard bending under your thumb. you looked away, your gaze dropping to the dark liquid in your mug, your chest tightening into that familiar, suffocating knot. you hadn't expected it from himânot because shoto was incapable of noticing things, but because he usually kept his observations to himself.
"i..." you started, your voice catching in your throat. a wave of hot embarrassment rushed up your neck. how could you possibly explain it? how could you tell the top student in your classâsomeone whose life was defined by concrete reality and immense pressureâthat you had altered your entire existence because of a thirty-second vision from a low-tier villain's quirk?
"you don't have to tell me if it's uncomfortable," shoto added, his tone remaining perfectly level, entirely devoid of the mocking edge katsuki always used. "i was just curious. the change was very abrupt. everyone noticed, even if they don't say it to your face."
"it's not... it's just..." you swallowed hard, staring at the grain of the wooden counter. "it's stupid, shoto. you're going to think i'm completely weird. or pathetic. or both."
shoto leaned back slightly in his stool, his arms crossing over his chest. he didn't look amused, and he didn't look judgmental. he just looked at you with that steady, unchanging patience. "i have a father who used a marriage contract to breed a child with specific elements, and i spent the first fifteen years of my life refusing to use half my body out of spite. i don't think you could say anything that would make me think you are the pathetic one here."
the bluntness of his statement brought a tiny, weak smile to your lips, though the sadness behind it remained heavy. you took a deep breath, the cold winter air outside rattling the kitchen window panes.
"during the mid-term internships... i got hit by a temporal displacement quirk," you whispered, keeping your eyes fixed on your lap. "the doctor said it projects your consciousness twelve months into your most probable future. for roughly thirty seconds."
shoto nodded slowly. "are you physically hurt that time?â
"no, i didn't," you said, your voice cracking slightly. you rubbed the back of your hand against your forehead, trying to blink away the sudden prickle of tears that always came when you thought about it too much. "but i saw him. i saw katsuki. it was next winterâi think it was around this time next year. we were standing outside a convenience store in the middle of a snowstorm."
you paused, the memory filling your head with terrifying clarityâthe dark winter jacket katsuki wore, the cold finality in his red eyes, the sound of his rough voice cutting through the quiet night.
"he rejected me," you said, the words tasting like lead on your tongue. "but it wasn't like his usual shouting. he was just... done with me. he told me he didn't want my notes, or my drinks, or my smiles. and he told me that he was already looking at someone else. a girl from the best jeanist agency. he said she was smart, and she didn't make things weird, and that he was the one pursuing her."
you finally looked up at shoto, your eyes wet and vulnerable, looking for any sign of ridicule. "it hurt so bad, sho. even though it hadn't happened yet, the version of him in that vision looked at me with so much indifference. he looked at me like i was an absolute waste of his time. and so when i came back to the present, i just... i couldn't do it anymore. i realized that every little thing i was doing, every time i followed him or tried to show him i cared, i was just building up to that exact moment in the snow. so i stopped. i pulled back before he could hate me that much."
shoto remained completely still for a long moment, the only sound between you being the low hum of the refrigerator. he didn't call you crazy, and he didn't tell you that you were overreacting to a future that hadn't even happened yet. he just looked at you, his heterochromatic eyes holding a deep, unblinking understanding.
"that sounds incredibly lonely," shoto said quietly.
the simplicity of his validation broke something inside you. the walls you had built so carefully over the past two months suddenly cracked, and a single tear slipped down your cheek, quickly followed by another. you tried to wipe them away with the sleeve of your sweater, but the movement only seemed to loosen the dam.Â
your shoulders began to tremble, the raw, open wound of a heartbreak you were still carrying finally spilling over.
shoto watched you for a second before he slowly stood up from his stool. he stepped around the corner of the kitchen island, stopping a few feet away from you. he didn't look uncomfortable with your tears, he just looked steady.
"would you... like a hug?" he asked, his voice dropping to a soft, hesitant murmur.
you looked up through your blurred vision, your throat tight and aching. you felt so vulnerable, so small in the middle of the dark kitchen, still mourning a love that had never been yours to keep. "is it... is it really okay?" you whispered, your voice cracking. "i don't want to make things weird."
"it's okay," shoto said, offering a small, reassuring nod. "it's not weird."
with a shaky breath, you leaned forward, letting your forehead rest against his chest as his arms came around you. shotoâs embrace was warm and solidâone side of him radiating a gentle, comforting heat that seemed to melt some of the icy loneliness that had been trapped in your chest for weeks. you gripped the fabric of his shirt, burying your face into his shoulder as you finally let yourself weep, the quiet, muffled sobs shaking your entire frame.
during that moment, neither of you heard the faint, heavy scuff of bare feet coming down the stairs.
katsuki was holding an empty plastic ice bag in his left hand, his right hand gripping his shoulder where a deep muscle strain from his afternoon blast-training was throbbing with a dull, persistent ache. he had come down with the sole intention of raiding the freezer, completely unconcerned with whoever might be up late.
but as he stepped past the threshold of the dining hall, he froze.
the kitchen light cast a long, bright rectangle across the dark floorboards, and right in the center of it stood shoto and you.
katsukiâs breath hitched in his throat. from where he was standing in the shadows, he couldn't hear the words you had spoken, and he couldn't see your face. all he could see was the way you were completely tucked into the half-and-half bastardâs space, your fingers curled tightly into the cloth of his shirt. katsuki could see the rhythmic, painful hitch of your shoulders, and the faint, heartbreaking sound of your crying cutting through the quiet night.
shotoâs hand was resting gently on the back of your head, holding you close, his chin resting against your hair as he let you fall apart against him.
the plastic ice bag in katsuki's grip crinkled loudly under a sudden, violent contraction of his fist, but the sound was completely swallowed by the noise of your sobs. a strange, suffocating heat rushed up his throat, turning into a cold, heavy weight right in the center of his stomach.
he didn't storm in. he didn't launch an explosion or yell at you both to get out of his way. for the first time in his life, katsuki felt entirely paralyzed, his red eyes wide as he stared at the sight of you seeking comfort in the arms of someone who wasn't him. you had never cried like that around him. you had never asked him for anything.
realizing he was standing in the dark like a ghost, katsuki slowly, silently backed away into the shadows of the hallway, his boots making no sound as he retreated toward the elevators. his hand was still clamped tight over his aching shoulder, but as he looked down at his own palms in the dim light, the physical pain felt completely distant compared to the raw, jarring emptiness currently tearing through his chest.
the next morning arrived with the heavy, uninviting grey of a mid-winter dawn. the sun barely managed to break through the thick layer of clouds, casting a dull, flat light across the academy grounds.
when the first bell rang for homeroom, the classroom was filled with the usual morning hum. you walked in a few minutes early, your eyes slightly puffy but your posture entirely composed. you had spent an hour in front of your bathroom mirror making sure you looked normal, ensuring that the raw, exhausting breakdown from the kitchen left no visible traces. you slid into your seat, immediately opening your notebook to review your english vocabulary before present mic could start his lecture.
shoto entered shortly after. as he walked past your row, his eyes met yours for a brief, silent second. he didn't make a big deal out of it, and he didn't mention the night before, he simply gave you another one of his small, steady nods before continuing down the aisle to his own desk. you felt a faint, genuine warmth touch your chest. the weight hadn't fully vanished, but having someone know the truth made the air in the room feel a little lighter.
katsuki was already at his desk, sitting sideways with one leg kicked out into the aisle, his chin buried in his palm as he stared out the window.
except he wasn't looking at the courtyard.
the moment your boots had clicked against the linoleum flooring of the room, his entire body had gone completely rigid. from the corner of his eye, he had watched you walk in. he had seen the subtle, silent exchange between you and the half-and-half bastard. his jaw tightened so hard the bone looked sharp beneath his skin, his red eyes narrowing into a fierce, burning glare that remained fixed on the side of shotoâs head.
the vision from the night before was still scorched into his brain. every time he closed his eyes, he saw the yellow light of the kitchen, the way your fingers had been knotted into shoto's shirt, and the muffled, painful sound of your crying. it had driven him crazy all night, keeping him tossing and turning until his bedsheets were a tangled mess.
why the hell was she crying like that?
he wanted to stomp over to your desk, rip your notebook out of your hands, and demand to know what happened. he wanted to corner the icy-hot bastard in the hallway and blast him through the drywall for putting his hands on you. but as he stared at the back of your uniform, the cold reality of the situation kept him nailed to his chair. he had no right to ask. he had spent over a year telling you to leave him alone, and now that you had finally done it, he was entirely locked out of your life.
when the lunch bell rang, the transition was instant. you stood up, sliding your pencil case into your bag with quiet, deliberate movements before walking toward the door.
"hey," shotoâs low voice cut through the noise of scraping chairs. he had moved up from his row, holding a small stack of reference guides from the library. "the notes for the practical are here. do you want to look over the terrain layouts during the break?"
"yeah, let's do that," you said, giving him a small, tired smile that actually reached your eyes. "the cafeteria is probably packed anyway. we can grab a bench near the support lockers."
as the two of you turned to leave the classroom together, katsuki stood up so violently his chair screeched against the floor, drawing a few startled glances from kaminari and mina. he didn't say a word to his friends. he shoved his hands deep into his uniform pockets and stormed out into the hallway, trailing a several paces behind you and shoto under the guise of heading toward the vending machines.
the hallway was crowded, filled with students from the general studies tracks, but katsukiâs eyes never left your shoulders.
he watched the way you walked next to shoto. you weren't keeping that stiff, professional three-pace distance that you always used whenever you were forced to interact with him. your shoulder brushed against shoto's arm as you pointed at something in the booklet, your laughter quiet but free. you looked completely relaxed, entirely safe within the boundaries of the friendship you were building with someone else.
the prickly, explosive heat in katsuki's palms began to spark, a tiny, muffled pop sounding was attempting to escape inside his pockets.
he hated it. he hated every single second of it. he had wanted the silence, he had wanted the space, but he had never wanted you to look at someone else the way you used to look at him. he had never wanted to become the stranger in the room while the half-and-half bastard got to hold you while you wept in the dark.
â
the days bled into a freezing february, the winter air growing so sharp that every breath felt like inhaling glass. on campus, the new dynamic became a permanent fixture.Â
everyone had grown used to seeing you and shoto together in the library, or tucked away on a bench near the training grounds with a shared notebook between you. it was a quiet, easy friendship that required no explanations, and for the first time in months, your chest didn't feel like it was constantly collapsing under the weight of your own thoughts.
katsuki, however, was running entirely on fumes.
the irritation that usually defined him had curdled into something much darker and more volatile. his training sessions became increasingly brutalâhe was throwing vertical bursts with so much force that the concrete walls of gym gamma were permanently scorched, his palms raw and bleeding beneath his gauntlets because he refused to stop when the timer ended. his friends had learned to give him a wide berth, the usual teasing completely dying out whenever his red eyes flicked toward the kitchen door.
it was a tuesday afternoon when the rain startedâa freezing, miserable downpour that turned the slush on the ground into dangerous, slick ice.
you were walking back from the main building alone, having stayed behind to drop off a research report for your homeroom requirements. the sky was almost black, the streetlamps along the path flickering to life early against the gloom. you had your umbrella tilted forward to block the wind, your chin buried in a thick knit scarf, your boots crunching softly against the frozen gravel.
"oi."
the voice came out of the grey dark, low and rough, slicing through the heavy sound of the rain against your umbrella.
you stopped dead in your tracks. your fingers tightened around the plastic handle as you slowly lifted the rim of the umbrella.
katsuki was standing five feet away, right under the dim yellow glow of a lamppost. he didn't have an umbrella. his jacket was unzipped, the fabric already soaked through and clinging to his broad shoulders, his blond hair flattened against his forehead by the downpour. water was dripping from the sharp line of his jaw, but his eyesâwide, bloodshot, and fiercely intense, were locked entirely onto yours.
"katsuki?" your voice was small, instantly swallowed by the wind. your heart did a familiar, painful flutter against your ribs, but you forced your expression to remain completely neutral. "what are you doing out here? you're going to catch a cold."
he didn't answer the question. he took two heavy steps forward, his boots splashing through a puddle of ice water, closing the distance between you until he was standing just outside the perimeter of your umbrella. the smell of wet wool and faint ozone drifted over to you.
"why him?" he demanded.
the words were raw, stripped of all his usual arrogant bravado, sounding more like a snarl than a question.
you blinked, your brow furrowing under your wet bangs. "what?"
"the half-and-half bastard," katsuki spat, his fists clenching so hard inside his pockets that you could see his forearms shaking beneath his wet sleeves. "i saw you. in the kitchen. two weeks ago."
your breath hitched, the air freezing in your throat. the memory of that nightâthe crying, the warmth of shotoâs embrace, the absolute vulnerability of your breakdown rushed back into your mind, making your face turn hot despite the freezing wind. "you... you were there?"
"i saw him holding you," katsuki whispered, his voice dropping into a harsh, ragged register that sounded completely broken. he stepped even closer, his shadow falling completely over you, his red eyes searching your face with a kind of desperate, angry confusion that you had never seen in him before.Â
"you were crying into his goddamn shirt like the world was ending. you've never looked at me like that. you've never asked me for a single thing, but you let him touch you?"
you stared at him, your heart hammering against your chest like a trapped bird. for months, you had run yourself ragged trying to maintain the perfect, professional distance, trying to convince yourself that he was better off without you. and now here he was, freezing in the rain, looking at you like you were the one who had torn him apart.
"it has nothing to do with you, katsuki," you said softly, your voice trembling slightly as you tried to steady your grip on the umbrella. "shoto is just my friend. he was helping me."
"like hell it doesn't have to do with me!" he roared, the sudden explosion of his voice making you flinch. he took another step, his face only inches from yours now, the heat radiating from his skin cutting through the freezing air. "you spent a whole year suffocating me, and then you just fucking walked away? you look at me like i'm a piece of furniture in the room? what did i said to make you act like this? i didn't tell you to go find someone else to cling to!"
"you told me to get out of your face!" you finally snapped, the collective weight of the past two months breaking through your calm exterior. your eyes filled with hot, furious tears, staring straight back into his angry gaze. "you told me to stop. you told me i was annoying! i was just finally giving you exactly what you wanted!"
"but i didn't want you to look at him!" katsuki yelled back, his chest heaving as he stared down at you, the rain pouring down his face like tears he would never allow himself to cry. "and iâŠi didn't want you to stop!"
the silence that followed was deafening, filled only with the heavy, rhythmic drumming of the rain against your umbrella.
katsuki froze, his own words hanging in the freezing air between you, naked and unfixable. his jaw worked silently, his breath coming in short, white plumes as he realized what he had just admitted out loud. he didn't want the silence. he had never wanted the space. he had just been too stupid, too proud, and too angry to realize that the orbit he had spent a year complaining about was the only thing keeping him grounded.
you looked at him, the tears finally overflowing and running down your cheeks, mixing with the damp mist of the storm. you saw the dark winter jacket. you saw the snow starting to mix with the rain. it looked so much like the vision, but his eyes were entirely differentâthere was no indifference here. there was only a raw, terrifying desperation.
"it's too late, katsuki," you whispered, your voice breaking as you lowered your umbrella slightly between you, creating a wall of plastic and wire. "i can't do it anymore. i'm too tired."
you turned around, your boots crunching heavily on the ice as you walked away toward the dorms, leaving him standing completely alone under the flickering yellow light, the freezing rain soaking him to the bone.
after you walked away, katsuki didn't move.
the freezing rain continued to pelt his face, turning the blond spikes of his hair into a heavy, dark mat against his forehead. his hands remained jammed deep inside his uniform pockets, his fingers curled so tightly that his short nails bit into his palms until the skin nearly broke. he stood perfectly still under the flickering yellow glow of the lamppost, watching your silhouette grow smaller and smaller until the dark silhouette of the u.a. dorms swallowed you entirely.
the silence you left behind was heavy, suffocating, and louder than any explosion he had ever set off.
when he finally dragged his feet back to the building, his boots were waterlogged, leaving dull, muddy streaks across the linoleum floor of the entrance. he didn't check his cubby. he didn't stop in the kitchen, ignoring the quiet murmur of voices coming from the common area where the rest of the squad was sitting.
"hey, bakuâ" kirishima started, lifting a hand from the couch, but the words died in his throat the moment he caught a glimpse of katsuki's face.
katsuki looked like a dead man walking. his skin was pale, his lips slightly blue from the cold, and his red eyes were fixed entirely on the floor ahead of him. he walked straight past them toward the stairs, his wet clothes dripping onto the carpet with a slow, rhythmic pat.
inside his room, he didn't turn on the lights. he didn't even bother stripping off the soaked uniform jacket. he just dropped down onto the floor, his back sliding against the wood of his closet door until his knees hit his chest.
his whole body was shaking, but it wasn't from the freezing rain. it was from a violent, roaring panic that he had never felt in his entire life.
i didn't want you to stop.
the admission still tasted like ash on his tongue. he had said it. he had let the words slip past his teeth, naked and pathetic, and it hadn't changed a single thing. you had still looked at him with those tired, watery eyes. you had still drawn that umbrella between you like a border wall and walked away.
he pulled his hands out of his pockets and stared at his palms in the dark. they were white, wrinkly from the water, and completely cold. for the first time since his quirk had manifested, he couldn't even manage a single spark. his sweat glands felt frozen, his chest tightening until every intake of air felt like a physical struggle.
for over a year, he had treated your presence like an annoying background noise, a constant that he could push away whenever his pride demanded it because he assumed you would always be there when he turned back around. he had thought he was the one holding all the power, the one granting you permission to exist in his space.
but as he sat alone in the dark, the freezing dampness of his jacket seeping into his skin, the truth stripped him bare: he had never been the one in control. you had given him everything voluntarily, and the moment you decided to take it back, his whole world had tilted on its axis. he had gotten exactly what he asked forâabsolute, unbroken silenceâand it was killing him.
by the next week, the weather had hardened into a bitter, unchanging frost, and inside the u.a. halls, your voice seemed to vanish entirely.
if you had been quiet before, you were a shadow now. you still showed up to class early, your uniform perfectly pressed and your books organized, but the small, polite smiles you used to give the other girls had completely disappeared. during lectures, you kept your head down, your pen moving across the paper with a mechanical, frantic speed that looked more like an escape mechanism than note-taking. at lunch, you didn't even go to the cafeteria anymore, you just sat on the stairs leading to the roof, staring down at a cold bento box you barely touched.
shoto noticed the change on the very first day.
he sat two rows behind you, his eyes tracking the slight, tense slouch of your shoulders. when you walked together toward the training grounds, you didn't talk about the strategy maps or joke about the terrain anymore. you just walked, your gaze locked onto the concrete three feet ahead of you, your face completely blank.
it was a thursday afternoon during a study period in the library when shoto finally decided to push past his usual reserve. the room was empty save for the elderly librarian three rows down.
"you're writing the same kanji over and over," shoto said, his low voice breaking the heavy silence of the corner table.
you paused, your mechanical pencil hovering over the paper. he was right. you had scribbled the same vocabulary word in the margin of your notebook until the graphite had torn through the page.
"sorry," you whispered, your voice sounding thin, like paper that had been left out in the sun too long. "i'm just... a little distracted today."
shoto didn't look back at his own work. he leaned forward, closing his book with a soft thud, his heterochromatic eyes fixed entirely on your face. the dark circles under your eyes were prominent, and your fingers were trembling slightly against the plastic casing of your pencil.
"did something happen?" he asked, his tone steady but carrying a rare, distinct edge of worry. "with him again?"
you didn't answer right away. you looked down at the torn paper, your throat tightening into that familiar, painful knot. the memory of katsuki standing in the freezing rain, his face soaked and his eyes wide with that desperate, broken anger, rushed back into your mind. you had tried so hard to protect yourself from the future rejection, but the present felt just as messy, just as ruined.
"he saw us," you murmured, your voice barely audible. "that night in the kitchen. he saw me crying."
shoto's brow furrowed slightly, his posture shifting. "did he say something to you?"
"he cornered me in the rain a few days ago," you said, a single, shaky breath escaping your lips. "he was angry. he asked why i let you hold me when i never asked him for anything. he told me... he told me he didn't want me to stop following him."
you finally lifted your eyes to meet shoto's, and the sheer, exhausted misery in them made the half-hot, half-cold boy's chest tighten.
"it doesn't make sense, shoto," you whispered, a hot tear finally spilling over your lashes. "the quirk showed me what he's going to say next year. it showed me that he's going to find someone else at best jeanist's agency and tell me to clear out. so why is he saying this now? why is he acting like i'm the one breaking his heart when he's the one who doesn't want it?"
shoto listened to your words, his heterochromatic eyes tracking the slow path of the tear down your cheek. he didn't interrupt, nor did he offer any hollow platitudes. he simply sat there, a solid and unmoving presence in the quiet library corner, letting the weight of your confusion settle between you.
"because he doesn't know what he wants until it's completely out of his reach," shoto said finally, his low voice carrying a cold, grounded logic. "bakugo has always lived in a world where everything belongs to him by default. his quirk, his spot at the top of the class, and your attention. he thought your affection was a fixed rule of his universe. now that you've broken that rule, he's panicking."
you let out a wet, shaky breath, leaning your forehead against the cool wood of the library table. "but the vision... the timeline is already happening. the weather, the clothes, the best jeanist internship. itâs all exactly the same. how can he be panicking now if heâs just going to reject me like a stranger next year?"
"the quirk showed you the most probable future based on who you both were two months ago," shoto countered gently, his hand moving slightly across the table, not quite touching yours but remaining close enough to offer comfort. "it didn't account for what would happen if you walked away early. you changed the variables. you forced him to face the silence before he was ready, and now heâs breaking."
you didn't answer. you just closed your eyes, the image of katsuki in the rainâshouting, desperate, and entirely stripped of his armorârefusing to leave your mind. you had pulled back to save your own heart, but it felt like you had accidentally triggered a different kind of landslide altogether.
the final bell for the day rang an hour later, signaling the start of the weekend. the classroom emptied out quickly, the students eager to escape the suffocating heat of the u.a. radiators and the freezing slush waiting for them outside.
you walked back to the dorms a few paces behind shoto, your eyes fixed onto the frozen gravel of the path. when you entered the common room, the atmosphere was thick.
katsuki was sitting on the main sofa. he wasn't looking at his phone, he wasn't yelling at kaminari, and he wasn't looking at a training manual. he was just sitting there, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands loosely clasped together as he stared blankly at the dark screen of the television. his uniform jacket was gone, replaced by a simple black shirt that showed the tense, rigid line of his shoulders.
the moment the front door clicked open, his head snapped up.
his red eyes bypassed shoto entirely, locking onto your face with a fierce, burning intensity that made the breath catch in your throat. there was no anger in his gaze this timeâonly a raw, sleepless desperation that made him look completely hollowed out. the dark circles under his eyes matched yours perfectly.
you immediately dropped your gaze, your posture freezing as you tried to step around the back of the couch to reach the elevators.
"hey," mina called out from the kitchen island, holding up a flyer. "the support department is doing a gear showcase tomorrow morning in ground beta. a bunch of us are going to look at the new armor specs. you want to come with?"
you stopped near the elevator button, your fingers tightening around the strap of your bag. before you could answer, you felt katsuki's presence shift behind you. he had stood up from the couch, his whole body turned toward you, his chest heaving silently as he waited for your response. he was practically vibrating with the urge to say something, his jaw clenching and unclenching in the tense silence.
"i... i think i'm going to pass, mina," you said softly, your voice small and careful as you kept your back turned to the room. "i have a lot of reading to catch up on for my research methods class. i'll probably just stay in my room tomorrow."
the elevator doors slid open with a soft chime. you stepped inside, quickly hitting the button for your floor.
as the metal doors began to slide shut, you finally lifted your eyes. through the closing gap, you saw katsuki standing right at the edge of the carpet, his hand extended slightly forward as if he had reached out to grab the air you had just left behind. his face was twisted in a silent, agonizing frustration, his red eyes wide and pleading as the doors clicked shut, locking him out once again.
the next morning, the u.a. dorms were quiet. by nine oâclock, most of the class had already headed out to ground beta for the support department's showcase, their loud chatter and heavy footsteps fading down the driveway until only a heavy, winter silence remained in the hallways.
true to your word, you hadn't left your room. you were tangled in your blankets, the blinds drawn tight to block out the harsh, white glare of the snow outside. your head was throbbing with a dull, persistent ache, and a sudden wave of nausea had hit you the moment you tried to sit up. the weeks of constant stress, sleepless nights, and the exhausting effort of keeping your walls up had finally caught up to your body, leaving you completely drained and lightheaded.
downstairs, katsuki had been pacing the common room like a caged animal since dawn. he had refused to go to the showcase, ignoring kirishimaâs repeated attempts to drag him along. his mind was completely fixed on one thing: you were up there, alone, and for the first time in months, the half-and-half bastard wasn't trailing behind you.
this was his chance.
he took the stairs two at a time, his heart hammering against his ribs with a violent, erratic rhythm. by the time he reached your floor, his palms were sweating, the familiar chemical scent of his quirk faint in the cold air of the corridor. he stopped outside your door, his fist hovering over the wood for a long, agonizing second before he finally let it drop, knocking three times.
"oi," he called out, his voice rough and unpolished, stripped of its usual volume. "open up. we're talking.â
there was a brief rustle from inside, followed by the sound of the lock clicking. katsuki braced himself, his jaw tightening as the knob turned and the door swung inward.
"i told you, i brought the non-drowsy kind so take itâ"
the words died instantly in katsukiâs throat, his red eyes widening in a sudden, violent shock.
standing on the other side of the threshold wasn't you. it was shoto. the dual-colored boy was holding a white plastic cup of water in one hand and a small blister pack of medicine in the other, his expression completely flat as he looked directly into katsuki's furious gaze.
"what the fuck are you doing in here?" katsuki snarled, the blood rushing to his face so fast his vision swam. the explosive heat in his palms sparked instantly, a sharp crack echoing in the narrow hallway. he tried to push past shotoâs shoulder, his entire frame vibrating with a dangerous, volatile rage. "get the hell out of her room, icy-hot!"
shoto didn't flinch. he shifted his weight, his broad shoulder completely blocking the doorway, keeping katsuki on the outside. "keep your voice down, bakugo."
"i don't give a shit! why are you in her room?"
"she texted me because she was nauseous and lightheaded," shoto replied, his low voice entirely steady, acting like oil on katsuki's roaring fire. "i went to the recovery girl's office to get her something for the fever. i was just handing it to her."
"she could've asked anyone else," katsuki hissed, his teeth bared as he stepped closer, his chest pressing against shoto's boundary line. his voice shook with a raw, ugly jealousy that he couldn't hide anymore. "she doesn't need you playing nurse. she didn't ask you for anything."
"are you her boyfriend? because if it's not me, who then? you?â shoto countered, his heterochromatic eyes narrowing just a fraction, matching katsuki's intensity with a cold, protective gravity. âalso, if i'm not mistaken, you made it clear you didn't want her. so stop lurking in her hallway like you have a right to be angry."
"you don't know shit about what i want!"
"you're right. but i know what you did, bakugo. you hurt her.â shoto said plainly.
the words hit katsuki like a physical blow, his jaw locking as he stared at the half-and-half bastard. from the bed inside the darkened room, a small, weak voice finally cut through the rising tension.
"shoto...?" you murmured, your head peeking out from beneath the blankets, your face pale and your eyes wide with anxiety as you saw katsuki standing in the doorway. "what's going on?"
shoto glanced back over his shoulder, his expression instantly softening. he looked back at katsuki, then back to you, taking a slow, deliberate breath.
"it seems that bakugo wants to talk to you," shoto said quietly, turning around to set the water and the medicine down on your desk near the door. "i'm going to go back to the ground beta. take the medicine if the room starts spinning again."
you swallowed hard, your fingers gripping the edge of your blanket as you looked past him to katsuki, who was standing perfectly still in the hall, his red eyes fixed on you with a desperate, pleading look that looked almost painful.
"okay," you whispered softly. "thank you, shoto."
shoto gave you a single, reassuring nod before turning back to the door. as he brushed past katsuki to leave, he paused for a brief, silent second, his voice dropping so low only the blonde boy could hear it. "don't make it worse."
katsuki didn't answer. he waited until shoto's footsteps faded down the corridor and the elevator door clicked shut before he finally stepped into your room, closing the door behind him with a soft, careful click that felt entirely heavy in the quiet space.
the silence returned, thick and suffocating. katsuki stayed by the door, his hands deep in his pockets, his broad shoulders slightly hunched as he looked at you sitting on the edge of the mattress. without the rain or the classroom grid between you, the distance felt incredibly fragile.
"you're sick?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly on the words, sounding completely stripped of the anger from a moment ago.
"i'm just tired," you said softly, keeping your eyes fixed on your lap, your hands tracing the pattern of the blanket. "my head hurts. why are you here?"
he took a slow, hesitant step forward, his indoor slippers making no sound on your rug. he looked down at the small blister pack shoto had left on the desk, then back to the pale curve of your face.
"i came because you wouldn't look at me," he whispered, the admission coming out raw and unbidden, his red eyes wide and entirely vulnerable in the dim light of your room. "and because i can't goddamn breathe with you acting like i'm dead."
he took another step closer, his indoor slippers finally coming to a halt just a foot away from the edge of your mattress. the towering, invincible shadow he usually cast over everyone felt completely different right now, it was heavy with a desperate, sleepless weight that seemed to match the quiet twilight of your bedroom.
you didn't lift your head. you kept your eyes fixed on the small white pills sitting on your desk, your voice barely louder than a breath. "like i said before, you told me you wanted space, katsuki. you told me i was suffocating you. i'm just doing what you asked for. i'm not trying to make you miserable."
"well, it's not fucking working!"
the shout slipped past his teeth before he could stop it, sharp and violent, but it lacked any real venom. it was the sound of someone drowning, a sudden burst of panicked air that made his shoulders hitch. katsuki dropped his head, his blond bangs falling forward to shield his face as his hands came out of his pockets. his fingers were trembling slightly, his palms pale and devoid of the usual heat that defined him.
"you think i wanted this?" he whispered, his voice cracking as he looked down at the neat, undisturbed corners of your duvet. "you think i wanted to walk into the classroom every morning and have you look straight through me like iâm a piece of scrap metal? you think i wanted to watch the half-and-half bastard hold you in the middle of the night while you cried your eyes out?"
your heart gave a sharp, painful twist at his words, your fingers tightening into the fabric of your blanket. you finally lifted your head, your pale face and dull, exhausted eyes meeting his frantic, bloodshot gaze. "you were the one who always pushed me away. every single time i tried to show you that i cared, you treated me like i was an embarrassment. like i was a waste of your time."
"because i was an idiot!" he snarled, the raw honesty of the word tearing out of his throat like iron. he took a final, reckless step forward, his knees hitting the hard wood of the floorboards right beside your bed. he didn't pull backâhe leaned his forearms against the edge of your mattress, looking up at you from below with a fierce, agonizing intensity that completely laid him bare.
"i didn't know what the hell to do with you," he breathed, his chest heaving under his black t-shirt. "everyone else in this damn school either wants to compete with me or stays out of my way because they're afraid of my blasts.â
âbut you...you just kept showing up. you didn't care when i snapped, and you didn't care when i was a bastard. you were just there. and i got stupid. i thought it was a rule. i thought no matter how hard i pushed, youâd stay three steps behind me because thatâs just how it was."
he reached out, his hand hovering over the blanket near your lap for a fraction of a second, his fingers curling inward as if he wanted to grab onto you but was terrified that touching you would make you pull away again.
"then you just walked away,â katsuki whispered, his red eyes wide and hollow in the dim light of your room. "no drinks in the locker. no smiles after training. nothing. you pulled the rug out from under my feet, and now i'm the one who's stuck in the dark."
the room fell into a heavy, suffocating stillness, the only sound being the distant, muffled whistle of the winter wind against your window pane. you stared down at him, your head throbbing with that dull vertigo, but your chest felt entirely hollowed out. you had spent two months mourning a future that hadn't even happened yet, running yourself ragged to protect your heart from the cold, indifferent boy that you saw in that thirty-second vision.
but looking at him now, kneeling on your floor, his knuckles white and his face twisted in a raw, frantic desperationâhe didn't look anything like the boy from the convenience store. he didn't look indifferent at all.
"the half-and-half bastard told me you saw something," katsuki said, his voice dropping into a low, raspy rumble that sounded incredibly small in the quiet space. his eyes searched your face, pleading for an answer. "he said you're running away because of some stupid quirk during the midterms. tell me what you saw. tell me what the hell i did in that future that made you give up on me."
you swallowed hard, the dryness in your throat making the movement ache. your eyes drifted from his frantic, bloodshot gaze down to his hands, which were still buried in the fabric of your duvet, holding onto it like it was the only thing keeping him anchored to the floor.
"i saw you," you whispered, your voice small and raspy in the dim twilight of the room. "a year from now. it was the deep of winter, just like this, and we were standing outside a convenience store down the road from the campus gates. you were wearing that dark jacket."
katsuki didn't blink. his breath hitched, his chest freezing mid-rise as he hung on every syllable that left your lips.
"i had spent another entire year following you around," you continued, a fresh, hot tear spilling over your lashes and tracing a slow path down your pale cheek. "leaving things on your desk. trying to show you that i loved you. and you... you were completely done with me. you didn't shout, and you didn't explode. you just looked at me so coldly, katsuki. you told me to stop because you didn't feel a single thing for me."
a small, sharp breath escaped you, the memory of that future heartbreak still tasting like lead on your tongue. "and then you told me that you were already pursuing someone else. a girl from the best jeanist agency where you were interning. you said she was smart, and she kept up with you, and she didn't make things weird like i didâŠand then, a-and you told me to find someone else to waste my time on."
when you finally looked back up at him, your vision was blurred with tears, but you could still see the violent shift that went through his entire frame.
katsuki looked like he had been struck by a physical blow. his jaw dropped slightly, his face going completely pale as the pieces of the puzzle finished slamming into place inside his head. the best jeanist agency. the winter jacket. the absolute, devastating finality of a rejection he hadn't even given yet.
"that's why," you breathed, your shoulders trembling as you pulled the blanket tighter around yourself, trying to block out the sudden, cold draft that seemed to fill the room. "the doctor said the quirk only projects the most probable future. it showed me that if i kept running after you, if i kept letting you treat me like an extra, i was just going to lead myself straight to that night in the snow. that's why i was so hurt, katsuki. and i am still so hurt. so i pulled back. i decided to give you the silence you wanted before you could hate me that much."
"but i don't hate you, y/n."
the words tore out of his throat, raw and desperate, breaking the heavy quiet of your bedroom like shattering glass. katsuki leaned forward, his hands sliding up the mattress until his knuckles brushed against your thighs through the thick layers of the duvet. his head was shaking, his blond bangs swinging wildly as he looked up at you with a terrifying, agonizing intensity.
"that's notâthat future is a fucking lie," he raspy whispered, his teeth grinding together so hard you could hear the bone click. "i don't give a shit about some extra at jeanist's agency. i don't give a shit about any girl there. if that bastard in the vision told you that, itâs because he was still a blind, arrogant piece of shit who didn't realize what he was losing you until your silence hit him."
he reached up, his hand trembling violently as he finally broke the boundary, his bare palm pressing against the side of your mattress, just inches from your fingers. the heat was finally returning to his skin, a fierce, radiating warmth that seemed to fight against the freezing winter outside your window.
"i'm not that bastard anymore," katsuki breathed, his red eyes wide, bloodshot, and completely full of tears that he refused to let fall. "you changed it. the second you stopped looking at me, you broke the whole goddamn timeline. i haven't slept in weeks because my head is full of you. i don't want the silence. i don't want you three paces behind me anymore, either."
he took a deep, ragged breath, his forehead dropping down to rest against the edge of your mattress, right against your hand that was resting on your lap, his broad shoulders shaking with the sheer force of his admission.
"i want you next to me," he whispered into the dark fabric, his voice completely broken. "so don't look at that half-and-half bastard. don't look at anyone else. just... stay here. let me fix it."
the heavy wool of the duvet dampened the sound of his breathing, but you could still feel the rhythmic, desperate hitch of his shoulders against your knee. katsuki stayed there, his forehead pressed hard into the duvet, his knuckles white where they gripped the mattress. he looked completely unraveled, stripped of the explosive pride that usually kept the entire world at arm's length.
you stared down at the crown of his blond hair, your head still swimming with that dull, lightheaded ache. the white pills shoto had left on the desk seemed miles away now.
for months, you had carried that thirty-second vision like a death sentence, letting the cold memory of his future indifference dictate every step you took. you had convinced yourself that his nature was an unmoveable concrete wall, that no matter what you did, the universe would always correct itself to that snowy sidewalk outside the convenience store.
but the boy kneeling on your floor right now didn't belong in that vision. the katsuki in your memory had been calm, flat, and entirely detached. but this katsuki was on fireâburning with a raw, agonizing panic that was turning his breath into ragged white plumes in the chilly room.
slowly, with your fingers trembling beneath the edge of the blanket, you slid your hand out from the warmth of the duvet.
you didn't pull away from him. instead, your fingers hovered over his shoulder before gently coming down to rest against the damp black fabric of his shirt. the moment your palm touched him, katsuki went entirely rigid. his breathing hitched, his chest freezing against the side of your mattress as if he were afraid that a single movement would make you lift your hand back up.
"katsuki," you whispered, your voice small and thick with the exhaustion that was still pulling at your limbs. "look at me."
it took him a long, painful second to move. when he finally lifted his head from your lap, his face was pale, his jaw clenched so tight the muscles in his neck looked like wire. his red eyes were wide, bloodshot, and completely glassy, looking up at you with an expression that was so raw it almost hurt to look at.
"i'm not trying to punish you," you said softly, a fresh tear slipping over your lashes and disappearing into the collar of your sweater. "i wasn't doing this to make you beg. i was just... i was so tired of being the only one holding on. it felt like if i didn't let go, i was going to break completely."
katsukiâs teeth ground together, his fingers tightening in the duvet until the fabric creaked under his grip. "i know," he rasped, his voice dropping into a rough, broken register. "i know i'm a bastard. i know i let you carry all of it while i just sat there acting like i was too good for it. but iâm telling you, itâs gone. the second you walked away, the whole damn thing went dark.â
he shifted his weight on the floorboards, his broad shoulders leaning closer until the heat radiating from his skin was cutting right through the space between you. he lifted his right hand from the mattress, his bare palm hovering near your cheek, his fingers twitching with the urge to wipe away the tear that had just fallen.
"let me carry it," he breathed, his red eyes locking onto yours with a fierce, unwavering finality that had nothing to do with the indifference you had seen in the future. "i don't know how to do the soft shit, and i'm probably still gonna be loud and irritate the hell out of you, but i'm not looking at anyone else. there is no one else. itâs just you. itâs always been you."
you looked at his hand, then back into his wide, desperate eyes. the heavy, suffocating knot that had been sitting in your chest since the midterm internships didn't disappear entirely, but for the first time in months, it loosened. the future you had been running from felt like it was finally splintering, cracking under the immense, stubborn force of his current desperation.
"it's going to take a long time, katsuki," you whispered, your fingers shifting slightly on his shoulder, your thumb rubbing a small, hesitant circle into the fabric. "i'm still down. i'm still hurt from what i saw."
"i don't care if it takes the whole goddamn year," katsuki said instantly, his jaw tightening as he finally let his palm settle against the side of your face, his skin warm and solid against your cold cheek. he didn't push, his thumb just resting steady against your skin, anchoring you to him. "i'm not going anywhere. just don't shut the door on me again."
his palm against your cheek was warmer than the radiators humming against the baseboards, a steady, pulsing heat that felt entirely grounded in the present. you let your head tilt just a fraction into his touch, your eyes closing as a long, shaky sigh escaped your lips.Â
the room didn't spin anymoreâthe heavy vertigo that had kept you pinned to the mattress seemed to settle, anchored by the sheer weight of his presence on your floor.
katsuki didn't move his hand. his thumb stayed right beneath your eye, catching the damp edge of another tear before it could track down your face. his breathing was still rough, but the wild, frantic panic in his chest was slowly morphing into something solidâa stubborn refusal to let you slip back into the shadows.
"you need to take those stupid pills," he muttered, his voice dropping into a low, raspy rumble that sounded more familiar, more like himself, though the sharp edge was completely gone. "the half-and-half bastard left 'em on the desk."
"i know," you whispered, slowly opening your eyes. looking at him from this close, without the armor of his scowl or the distance of the classroom, you could see the fine lines of exhaustion around his eyes. he looked just as drained as you were. "i'll take them in a minute."
katsukiâs jaw clenched slightly, his red eyes dropping to your mouth before lifting back up to lock onto yours. "i'm staying here until you do. and i'm staying after."
he shifted his position, pulling his knees up so he was sitting flat on the rug right beside your mattress, his back leaning against the wooden frame of your bed. he didn't take his hand away until he had to move, and even then, his shoulder remained firmly pressed against the side of your mattress, his body heat cutting through the space like a shield against the rest of the dark, quiet dorms.
"you don't have to stay, katsuki," you said softly, though your fingers didn't leave the fabric of his shirt. "you're missing the showcase. your friends are going to wonder where you are."
"let 'em wonder," he snapped, a tiny, faint spark of his usual irritation flickering in his tone before it smoothed out into a quiet finality. "those extras can take his own damn notes. i told you, i'm not going anywhere. if you're staying in this room today, then i'm sitting right here."
you looked down at the spikes of his hair, just inches from your hand. for months, you had been terrified of the timeline, checking every detailâthe weather, the jackets, the weeks as they crawled byâwaiting for the inevitable hammer to fall. but as you looked at the small blister pack of medicine shoto had left, and then at the boy refusing to leave your floor, you realized the sidewalk outside the convenience store was gone. you hadn't just protected your heart, you had rewritten the entire map.
"okay," you murmured, your fingers finally sliding up from his shoulder to lightly touch the back of his neck, the skin there warm and damp from the winter air he had carried inside. "then stay."
katsuki let out a short, rough breath that sounded suspiciously like a relief, his shoulders finally dropping from their tight, defensive hunch. he didn't say anything else, because for the first time since the winter had started, the silence between you didn't feel like a boundary. it felt like a beginning.
â
the medicine shoto left behind didnât quite do the trick. because by mid-afternoon, the room had stopped spinning, but it was replaced by a deep, shivering fever that had you curled into a tight ball beneath three layers of blankets. your throat felt like sandpaper, and your skin alternated between burning hot and freezing cold.
katsuki hadnât moved from his spot on the floor. the only time he stood up was to drag your desk chair right to the edge of the mattress so he could sit level with you, his large frame hunched over as he watched your uneven breathing.
"you're burning up," he muttered, his rough voice dropping to a low, gravelly register that felt surprisingly gentle in the quiet room. his bare palm came down against your forehead, the intense, radiating heat of his skin usually so fierce, but right now it felt like a solid, comforting hearth against your chills. "fucking extra. you ran yourself ragged over nothing."
"it wasn't nothing," you wheezed, your voice barely a squeak from beneath the duvet.
"shut up and save your breath," he snapped softly, though his fingers lingered against your hairline, smoothing back the damp strands of hair that were sticking to your forehead. "i'm getting you some real food. that half-and-half bastard probably bought these pills from a vending machine."
he left the room for ten minutes, the silence he left behind feeling strangely empty now. when the door clicked open again, the rich, savory scent of ginger and scallions drifted into the twilight of your room. katsuki marched back, carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of rice porridge, some pickled plums, and a fresh bottle of water.
he set the tray on your nightstand, then reached under your arms, effortlessly hauling you up against the headboard so you were sitting upright. his chest brushed against your shoulder, and you could feel the steady, rhythmic thud of his heart through his black t-shirt.
"eat," he commanded, holding a spoonful of the hot porridge right in front of your mouth.
"katsuki, i can feed myself," you murmured, your cheeks flushing a brilliant pink that had nothing to do with the fever.
"you can barely keep your eyes open. just open your mouth before i shove it down your throat," he grumbled, but his hand was incredibly steady, blowing on the steam to cool it down before offering it to you again.
your heart did a violent, fluttering flip against your ribs. this was the boy who usually screamed his way through cooking duties in the dorms, yet here he was, carefully measuring the temperature of a spoonful of porridge just so it wouldn't burn your tongue.Â
you took the bite, the warm, savory flavor instantly soothing your stomach. a small, involuntary hum of satisfaction escaped you.
katsuki's red eyes softened, a tiny, barely perceptible smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he scooped up another portion. "told you. my cooking is ten times better than whatever garbage they have at the infirmary."
just as you swallowed the third spoonful, a soft, rhythmic knock sounded at the door.
katsukiâs shoulders instantly locked. the domestic, quiet warmth in his eyes vanished, replaced by a sudden, dangerous glare as the door opened just a crack.
shoto stood on the threshold, still wearing his training sweatpants, a small thermos held in his scarred left hand. "i brought some barley tea from the kitchen. it's good for hydration when the fever peaks.â
"she don't need your stupid tea, icy-hot," katsuki growled, his voice dropping into a harsh, territorial rumble. he didn't stand up, but he shifted his chair slightly to the left, his broad shoulders completely blocking shotoâs view of you in the bed. "i already made her food. clear out."
shoto didn't move. his heterochromatic eyes drifted over katsuki's shoulder, catching sight of your flushed face and the spoon in katsukiâs hand. a tiny, almost invisible glint of amusement passed through shoto's calm expression. "she looks a little better. did you actually manage not to burn the rice, bakugo?"
"i'll burn the other side of your face if you don't get the fuck out of her doorway!" katsuki hissed, his left palm giving off a tiny, warning pop that smelled faintly of sweet caramel.
"katsuki, stop," you whispered, reaching a weak hand out from under the blanket to tug at the hem of his shirt.
the moment your fingers touched his fabric, the sparks in his hand died instantly. he whipped his head back to look at you, his jaw clenched in absolute frustration, but he didn't yell. he just let out a sharp, irritated huff through his nose, his chest puffing out as he deliberately turned his back to shoto, effectively sealing you into his own personal space.
"i'll leave the thermos on your table," shoto said plainly, his tone completely undisturbed by katsukiâs murderous glare. he gave you a small, reassuring nod. "get some rest, y/n."
the door clicked shut, and the hallway fell silent again.
katsuki sat there for a long moment, his back rigid, his breathing heavy. "fucking bastard," he muttered under his breath. "always lurking around where he doesn't belong."
"are you jealous?" you asked softly, a tiny, genuine smile breaking through your exhaustion as you watched the sharp line of his profile.
"like hell i am!" katsuki snapped, turning back around to face you. his face was flushed a deep, angry red, his eyes wide and fierce as he shoved the spoon back into the bowl. "i just don't want that idiot getting his germs near you when you're already acting like a weakling. now shut up and finish the bowl."
you let out a quiet laugh, the fluttering warmth in your chest expanding until the cold, grey winter outside your room didn't matter at all. you took the next bite from his hand, watching the clumsy, careful way his fingers held the ceramic, realizing that the future you had been so terrified of had been completely melted away by the stubborn heat of his jealousy.
after you finished the last of the porridge, katsuki set the empty bowl on the nightstand with a definitive click. he reached for the water bottle, twisting the cap off with one hand before shoving it into your grasp.
"drink," he muttered, his eyes tracking the slight tremor in your fingers.
you took a few small sips, the cool water soothing your throat, before setting the bottle down on the mattress beside you. the heavy warmth of the food and the residual heat of the fever were making your eyelids grow impossibly heavy again. you slid a little lower against the headboard, the blankets bunching up around your chin.
katsuki stood up, pulling the desk chair back a few inches. for a second, you thought he was going to leaveâto finally go back to his own room now that you were fed and medicated. a tiny, involuntary pang of loneliness hit your chest, your fingers twitching against the duvet.
but he didn't walk toward the door.
instead, he kicked his slippers off, tossed his large frame right onto the edge of your mattress, and propped his back up against your headboard. he didn't slide under the covers with you, but he sat close enough that his thigh was pressed flush against your side through the thick layers of the blanket. his presence was like a heavy, immovable weight, throwing off so much natural body heat that your shivering stopped almost instantly.
"katsuki?" you murmured, your voice thick with impending sleep. "what are you doing?"
"go to sleep, extra," he growled low, stretching his long legs out over the mattress. he reached down, his large, rough hand sliding beneath the top layer of the blanket until his fingers found yours. he didn't squeeze, but his palm closed over your knuckles, enveloping your small, cold hand in his fierce, steady warmth. "i told you i wasn't going anywhere."
"you're going to get sick," you whispered, though your fingers were already instinctively curling into his, holding on tight.
"my immune system isn't weak like yours," he snorted, his thumb rubbing a slow, heavy circle over the back of your hand. the movement was entirely domestic, so uncharacteristic of the boy who usually stormed through life breaking things, that it made your heart do that frantic, beautiful flutter all over again. "now stop talking and close your eyes."
you let out a soft hum, your head naturally tilting sideways until your cheek rested against his waist. his muscle was dense and solid beneath the black cotton of his shirt, but he didn't move away. in fact, you felt his whole body relax just a fraction, his shoulder shifting slightly to give your head a better place to rest.
"hey," he muttered after a few minutes of silence, his voice dropping so low it was almost swallowed by the quiet of the room.
"hm?" you breathed, your eyes already closed.
"the half-and-half bastard's tea," katsuki grumbled, his jaw tightening against the top of your hair. "i'm throwing it in the sink downstairs when you wake up."
a quiet, breathless laugh escaped your lips, your nose nudging into his sleeve. "you're so mean."
"i'm serious," he rumbled, his grip on your hand tightening just a fraction, holding you so close that the cold, snowy sidewalk from your vision felt like something from a completely different lifetime. "now sleep."
and under the steady, territorial warmth of his shadow, with his heart beating heavy and rhythmic against your body, you finally drifted off, the future completely rewritten in the quiet of the dark.
the room drifted into an absolute, heavy silence, save for the rhythmic, soft sound of your breathing and the low hum of the u.a. heating system struggling against the february frost outside.
for the first hour, katsuki didn't alter his posture by a single inch. he sat perfectly rigid against your headboard, his legs stretched out over the edge of your mattress, his red eyes wide and unblinking as he stared at the far wall of your room. the dark twilight of the bedroom gradually shifted into the deep, ink-black shadows of a winter evening, but he didn't reach for the lamp. he didn't want the light. he just wanted to feel the solid, undeniable reality of your head resting against him.
every now and then, your frame would give a small, involuntary shiver as the fever ran its course beneath the duvet. whenever you moved, his grip on your hand would instinctively tighten. his large palm remained wrapped completely around your knuckles, his skin throwing off that fierce, radiating heat that had always defined him. he was using his own body like a furnace, deliberately crowding your side to force the chills out of your system.
look at her, his brain kept repeating, a rough, repetitive chant that completely drowned out his usual thoughts of training regimes and combat metrics. look how small she is when sheâs not running herself ragged trying to keep up with you.
it was a jarring, uncomfortable realization for him. for over a year, he had viewed your constant presence as a testament to your stubbornnessâsomething unshakeable, a fixed line on his horizon that he could bark at whenever his temper flared. he had never considered the immense amount of energy it took for you to stay there, to keep smiling when he was being a bastard, to keep leaving those specific sports drinks in his locker when he never said thank you.Â
you had used all your strength to build a bridge to him, and the moment you burned it down to protect yourself, your body had simply collapsed under the weight of the wreckage.
a sharp, prickly sensation touched the back of his throat, not quite anger, but a raw, aching guilt that made him grind his teeth together until his jaw thunked.
around eight in the evening, your breathing changed. the shallow, rapid huffs of the fever slowed down, your head shifting slightly against his bicep as your eyelids fluttered open. the heavy, suffocating vertigo had finally lifted, leaving your mind clear, though your limbs still felt like water.
"katsuki...?" you murmured, your voice small and raspy from the long sleep.
"i'm here," he rumbled instantly, his voice dropping into that low, gravelly register that you had only ever heard him use when he was trying not to wake the rest of the dorms during early morning runs. "stop moving. you're still clammy."
you blinked against the darkness, your eyes adjusting until you could see the sharp, pale line of his jaw just inches above your face. he hadn't moved. his back was probably completely numb from supporting your weight for hours, but he hadn't pulled away.
"what time is it?" you whispered, your fingers shifting inside his grip, testing the solid warmth of his palm.
"past eight," he muttered. he reached out with his free hand, his large fingers fumbling in the dark for the water bottle on the mattress before pressing it against your chest. "drink. all of it. you sweat half your weight out while you were out."
you managed to sit up a fraction, using his arm as a brace as you took a long, grateful swallow from the bottle. the cool liquid felt like heaven against your parched throat. when you set the bottle down, you noticed his eyes were still locked onto your face, tracking your movements with a fierce, unwavering intensity that made your chest do that beautiful, fluttering flip all over again.
"the class is back," you whispered, catching the faint, distant sound of laughter and thumping footsteps echoing from the common room three floors below. "you should go down before they start looking for you."
"don't care," katsuki snapped, though the words lacked any real venom, sounding more like a habitual reflex than an actual complaint. his thumb began to rub that slow, heavy circle across the back of your knuckles again, the texture of his calloused skin rough but incredibly grounding against your fever-softened hands. "kirishima tried to text me three times about some stupid support armor. i deleted the notifications."
you let out a tiny, breathless laugh, leaning your shoulder back against his side. "you're going to get a lecture from aizawa-sensei on monday for skipping mandatory training review."
"i can handle the hobo," he grumbled, his head tilting down until his chin was resting lightly against the crown of your hair. the scent of his quirkâthat sharp, sweet smell of caramelized sugarâwas heavy in the small space between you, completely replacing the clinical, cold air you had been breathing for weeks. "besides... i told the half-and-half bastard i was staying."
your eyes widened slightly in the dark. "you talked to shoto again?"
"he came back up an hour ago while you were dead to the world," katsuki hissed, his jaw tightening against your hair as his fingers tensed inside yours. the hot, territorial jealousy from earlier returned in a sudden wave, making his chest heave against your shoulder. "had the nerve to knock on the door and ask if you needed more of those white pills. i told him through the wood that if he didn't take his dual-colored ass back to his own wing, iâd blow the elevator shaft completely out of the building."
"katsuki!" you gasped, though a warm, helpless smile was already breaking across your face.
"i didn't use explosions though," he grumbled, a faint, embarrassed flush rising up his neck that you could feel against your cheek. "i kept my voice down so you wouldn't wake up. but i meant it. he needs to stop coming to this floor. heâs got his own goddamn room."
"he was just being nice," you softy chided, your thumb trailing up to press against the side of his wrist, feeling the heavy, steady throb of his pulse. "he knew i was scared of the future. he was the only one who listened to me when i was completely falling apart."
the silence returned, but this time it was differentâit was heavy with the weight of his understanding. katsuki didn't snap back. his broad shoulders dropped a fraction, his chest collapsing into a long, ragged sigh that fanned across your bangs.
"i'm listening now," he whispered into the dark room, the words sounding completely stripped of his pride, raw and entirely honest. his hand shifted, his fingers sliding up from your knuckles until his palm was cupping the back of your hand, pressing your fingers flat against his chest right over his heart. the beat beneath his cotton shirt was fast, hard, and completely frantic. "you don't gotta go to him for that shit anymore. you don't gotta go to anyone. if you're scared of the snow, then i'll just stay right here until it's over. i don't care how long it takes."
you stared at the back of his hand in the dim light, the rhythm of his heart vibrating against your palm. for months, you had looked at the calendar with a sense of dread, counting down the days until the january snowstorm that would seal your fate outside that convenience store. but looking at the boy currently holding you like he was terrified the dark would swallow you up, you realized that the future had already cracked into a thousand pieces. the katsuki from your vision was gone, replaced entirely by the fierce, clumsy warmth of the boy kneeling on your floor, refusing to let you go.
"okay," you breathed, your head dropping back onto his shoulder as your eyes slowly closed again, the last traces of the sickness finally fading into a deep, domestic comfort. "then stay."
"i am," he rumbled low, his chin settling back against your hair as he pulled the top blanket higher around your shoulders. "now shut up and go back to sleep, extra. i've got you."
the rest of the night passed in a slow, unbroken rhythm. by the time the clock on your desk ticked past midnight, the fever had entirely broken, leaving your skin cool and your mind completely clear. the heavy, suffocating weight that had been pressing down on your chest since the mid-term internships was gone, replaced by the deep, solid warmth of the boy who still hadnât left your side.
katsuki had finally shifted, sliding down the headboard until he was lying flat on top of the duvet next to you. he hadn't gotten under the coversâhis stubborn pride or some lingering sense of boundaries keeping him on the outsideâbut his left arm was thrown heavily over your waist, pinning you securely against his chest. his face was buried in the crook of your neck, his hot, even breath flaring against your collarbone with every rise and fall of his chest.
he was fast asleep, his usual tense, defensive scowl completely melted away by exhaustion. without the fierce glare or the sharp, barking voice, he looked younger, stripped entirely of the explosive wall he kept between himself and the rest of the world.
you lay perfectly still in the dark, your fingers lightly tracing the fabric of his sleeve. your heart was still doing that soft, erratic flutter, but it wasn't from fear anymore. it was from the sheer, domestic reality of him.
â
the next morning, the room was flooded with the bright, clean light of a winter saturday. the storm had passed, leaving the campus outside covered in a fresh, blinding layer of white snow that reflected the sun through your blinds.
your eyes fluttered open, the dizziness completely gone. you felt lighter than you had in months. when you tried to stretch your legs, you realized you were still completely trapped under the heavy weight of katsuki's arm.
he was awake, too. his red eyes were half-open, blinking lazily against the morning glare, his jaw resting against your shoulder. the moment he felt you move, his grip around your waist tightened, a low, gravelly grunt escaping his throat.
"stay still," he muttered, his voice incredibly thick from sleep, his forehead dropping back into your neck. "you're still healing, extra."
"katsuki, my fever is gone," you whispered, a small, helpless smile breaking across your face as your fingers slid into the messy, blond spikes of his hair. "i feel completely fine. and the sun is up."
"i don't care about the sun," he grumbled, his voice muffled against your skin. "i'm not letting you go downstairs yet. the squad is down there, and the half-and-half bastard is probably lingering by the kitchen."
as if on cue, the faint sound of the elevator chiming down the hall echoed through the quiet corridor, followed by the heavy, unmistakable stomp of kirishimaâs boots approaching your room.
katsukiâs entire body went rigid. his eyes snapped wide open, his head lifting from your shoulder as his ears twitched toward the door.
knock, knock.
"hey, y/n!" kirishimaâs voice boomed through the wood, entirely too loud for a Saturday morning. "you in there? mina said you were sick yesterday, so we saved you some of the breakfast sato made! also... uh... have yoy seen bakugo? his room is completely empty and he didn't show up for morning training. we're starting to think he got kidnapped by villains again."
your breath caught in your throat, your face instantly turning a brilliant, burning crimson. you looked up at katsuki, your eyes wide with panic as you pointed toward the closet, silently mouthing, get in there!
katsuki stared at your pointing finger, his jaw clenching as a dark, irritated flush crept up his own neck. but he didn't move toward the closet. in fact, the territorial, arrogant spark that usually defined him rushed back into his eyes with full force. he looked at the door, then down at you, a tiny, dangerous smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
he deliberately leaned across your frame, his broad shoulders completely blocking your view of the rest of the room as he lifted his head toward the door.
"stop bothering us, shitty hair!" katsuki roared, his voice booming through the wooden panels with enough force to rattle the doorknob. "and if you don't take your loud mouth back to the elevator in three seconds, i'm gonna blast your hardening quirk right through the floorboards!"
the silence that followed on the other side of the door was absolute.
you could practically hear the gears grinding in kirishimaâs head as he stood in the hallway, processing the low, raspy boom of katsuki's voice coming from inside your bedroom at nine in the morning.
"oh," kirishimaâs voice finally came back, sounding completely stunned, dropping into a frantic, hurried whisper. "oh, wow. okay. dynamic entry... uh... sorry! i'm leaving! mina, don't come up here!"
the heavy thud of his boots practically sprinted back down the corridor, the distant chime of the elevator doors closing sounding like a definitive punctuation mark to the silence.
"katsuki!" you cried out, burying your burning face into your hands as a mix of intense embarrassment and helpless laughter shook your shoulders. "why did you say that? now the whole dorm is going to be talking about it by lunch!"
katsuki didn't look remorseful at all. he dropped back down onto the mattress beside you, his long arm sliding right back around your waist to pull you flush against his chest again. the heat radiating from his skin was fierce, proud, and entirely unbothered by the chaos he had just caused.
"and?" he muttered, his thumb tracing a slow, heavy line over your hip through the blankets, his red eyes locking onto yours with a quiet, stubborn finality. "let the whole damn school know. i told you, i'm not hiding in the shadows anymore. if i'm staying next to you, then everybody else can just get the hell out of the way."
you looked at his sharp profile, the bright winter sun catching the edges of his blond hair, and you finally let your hands drop from your face. the convenience store, the dark jacket, the cold words from your visionâthey were completely gone, melted away by the roaring, protective fire of the boy who was currently holding you like you were the only thing that mattered in the entire world.
"okay," you whispered, leaning forward to press your forehead against his jaw, your fingers knotting tightly into his black shirt. "then we're staying right here."
"damn right we are," he rumbled low, his chin settling over your head as he closed his eyes, finally completely at peace in the quiet of your room.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
the atmosphere was calm, well as calm as it could be with sukuna there.Â
you sat curled up in his lap while he yelled at toji through his headset for the nth time. you shifted slightly before slowly sliding out of sukuna's lap, he muttered a quickÂ
âwhere ya goin?â his eyes shifted towards you, now fully out of his grasp.Â
âbathroom.âÂ
he let out a low hum and returned his hard gaze back to his monitor.Â
-
âholy shit ryomen, yer washed.â toji snickered through the mic.Â
âeasy to talk when you pick OKC every fucking round.â sukuna snarled back.
âaye back to back dubs speaks for itself.âÂ
âits been two rounds already?â sukuna checked his phone, its been almost 2 hours since you left his lap.Â
âtwo rounds of belt? yea bro.â a snort came out from sukunas headphones.Â
âim hoppin off anyway to go out with my girl. cus i got other shit to do, like my girl. get it? cus i have a girlfriend.â sukuna teased.Â
âblah blah blah we get it asshat.âÂ
sukuna chuckled to himself before logging off and heading over to barge on you in the bathroom, which was locked? he lifted a heavy knuckle and tapped on the door twice.Â
âbabe, you takinâ a shit?âÂ
a small snort escaped from the other side of the door, âyea ryo ive been shitting for two hours.âÂ
his crimson eyes fluttered into a roll before he twisted the knob again, âokay brat then why is the door locked, let me in.âÂ
needy bastard. âkuna you can wait for like two minutes, im almost done.â you added the final touches to your face before adjusting your dress again. kinda short. eh its fine.Â
he leaned against the door frame, arms crossed âalmost done what? I can smell your body wash, did you wanna go on a date ton-âÂ
the door swung open, revealing your finished look. hair done and neat, makeup on point, gold jewelry layered all over your body, and your new brown mini dress that hugged your body perfectly.Â
sukuna paused, looked you up and down, eyes immediately turning hungry.Â
âblack shoes or brown shoes?â you cocked a brow at him.Â
âfuck, you look gorgeous baby.â he answered completely ignoring your question, âwhere we goinâ?âÂ
you puckered your lips and smiled back at him, âthank you. okay so black or brown?âÂ
âbrown. and give me like fifteen minutes, I'll be ready.â he bee-lined straight to the bathroom before your manicured hand pressed against his chest, stopping him right in his tracks.Â
âryo you canât come to girls night. I've told you this like a thousand times.âÂ
girls night? It was like someone shot him in the chest right then and there. not only were you looking absolutely beautiful on a night the both of you had off, you were going out with your friends. instead of sukuna. not to mention how much they hated sukuna. the burly mans shoulders tensed,
 ânonono, the hell you mean girls night? I thought WE were going out tonight.â it was almost pathetic how whiney his voice sounded. to anyone else it would've been a once in a blue moon sight, unfortunately for you it wasnât.Â
âryo I told you last night that I was going out with them.âÂ
âdid not.âÂ
âdid too.âÂ
âdid not.âÂ
âryomen i literally told you before we went to bed and you said âokay ill drive you.â you pushed past him and slipped on your brown kitten heels, before admiring your full look in the mirror.Â
âThere's no way I said that, I was out cold before you even shut off the light.â he followed your trail like a sulking puppy`. a large six foot something sulking puppy.
âsukuna i promise you iâm not lying.â you paused with your purse and keys in hand. Â
âfine. but if i get handsy in the car, you cannot blame me. you look so hot.â he grabbed the keys from your hands and opened the front door.Â
you tsked, âmhm mhm no touching while my girls are in the car.âÂ
âwhat.âÂ
âweâre picking them up, remember?âÂ
âyouâre shittinâ me.â
-
after thirty minutes of being interrogated, looped into gossip, and asked the âyouâre a guy what do you think?â question approximately fifteen times, sukuna finally got to the restaurant.Â
your girls murmured a bunch of rushed thank yous before quickly hopping out of the car and heading into the restaurant. sukunas hand still gripped the wheel,Â
âthank you for dropping us off kuna.â you leaned over the center console and gave him a peck on the cheek, causing him to turn his head.Â
âcall me if anything.â he responded in a low mumble.Â
âi know i know.â you smiled before turning to open your door.Â
âwait.â you paused and turned to look back at your boyfriend who was already outside of the car, he made his way around to your side and opened your door. He held your hand in his large gruff one before pulling you into another kiss, he pulled away just an inch from your mouth, his breath still on yours,
âiâm fucking the shit out of you when you get home.âÂ
you felt the warmth pooling in your cheeks, you bit back a smile and mumbled backÂ
âpromise?âÂ
sukunas hands gripped at your waist, before dropping to his sides, a slow huff escaped his nose, âpinky.âÂ
you snorted before walking off, feeling the sting of sukunas hand slapping your ass as you did so.Â
-
sukuna knew as soon as you called three hours later, slurring every other word, that he would be eating his words that night.
 after dropping off your equally drunk friends, he carried you into bed, taking his time removing your make up because he knew you would yell at him if he didnât, then taking off your heels and dress, changing you into one of his shirts.
âryo.âÂ
âhm.âÂ
âmy friendsss saidd they loveeyou.âÂ
âreally?â shocking. considering they mean mugged him all night. didnât even bother to say his name properly.
you nodded slowly under the sheets.Â
âwhyâs that?âÂ
a hiccup escaped your lips, eyes fluttering shut âthey said⊠youmake mee glow.âÂ
âtheyâre idiots.âÂ
you snorted, âloveeyouu.âÂ
âi love you too brat.âÂ
he couldnât even be mad at you for blue balling him all night.